SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.

I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.

My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.

I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time?

You sound so arrogant, together with your family. I think the guy made the right decision. Rubbish

Sammiejokes:

Was there any point in the over hype girl post where she said the guy is not committed, a guy that flies to US just to see his babe deserve an award, am sure the guy is not a gold digger and has something going for him, no man wants a wife that nags on trivial issues and make him feel cheap. The guy better run for his life and up his game, the family has indirectly rubbish him. Am sure wherever the guy dey, I pray God enlarge your hustle and give you a good lady with better family. Amen

Point u have made...and AMEN TO THAT PRAYER.

1. Your parents don't like the guy.

2. Sign up for anger management classes.

3. Learn to table your issues in a more subtle manner.

4. Let him explain what he doesn't like about you even if he won't come back to you, you can work on the bad ones so as to not make the same mistake again.

5. The guy is definitely crazy about you, travelling to the United States to see you.

6. The guy's parent probably warned him to leave you because you are materialistic.

7. Sit Down, be Humble.

Vivly:

Yuzedo Yuzedo. Your love for Old money new money debates always stands out. Why does her story sound so familiar to you?

Lol issa shame im not yuzedo. I bet he got a lot of punny but even one single punny ive not gotten.

Keep destroying her future. U hear?
Continue.
I'm sure you're single too and would die to have half of that guy as your man.

asokid:
Am in the u.s, do you want true love? he wasnt meant for you. move on

Mumu. You wan dig gold wey u no plant. You no see say na gold dey cause all dis wahala abi.

Sammiejokes:

Was there any point in the over hype girl post where she said the guy is not committed, a guy that flies to US just to see his babe deserve an award, am sure the guy is not a gold digger and has something going for him, no man wants a wife that nags on trivial issues and make him feel cheap. The guy better run for his life and up his game, the family has indirectly rubbish him. Am sure wherever the guy dey, I pray God enlarge your hustle and give you a good lady with better family. Amen

just a gold box is now something too much to satisfy your wife/family

In some cultures,I don't want to mention the name of the ethnic group because I'm not here for tribal nonsense.

In some ethnic groups where a groom will spend millions of naira on bride Price. Buy expensive wrappers for the brides mother and father, palmwine for brides uncles and other extended family nko? They will call those people gold digger.just box


Oyinbos say WHATEVER IS WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING WELL. so it's either you do it well or you don't do it at all.yes I understand that she is taking a trivial issue seriously but at least COMMUNICATE before coming to a dead end instead of just making an abrupt and rash decision

SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.

I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.

My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.

I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time?

What is there to fight for lady ? He has made his decision, do you want him to lie to you?

dangotesmummy:
my God.where did you get all these from

How do you people get to judge and conclude on a person's life history based on what she typed here? So it is wrong for a woman to WANT because she's a woman.SHE CANNOT WANT? After all you men say I WANT A HARDWORKING WOMAN
I WANT AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN
I WANT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN


but a woman should not want or know what she wants because she's a woman and for her to want makes her unreasonable, spoilt over pampered and entitled.



What kind of men are our mothers raising for goodness sake.smh

To want is divine... to always WANT and put MATERIAL WANTS ahead of commonsense is SATANIC.

you're the cause of your predicament. if the guy love really matter to u. I don't think u should be bother about what is inside the box so far it still follow in line with your tradition


in other words, even if at all, you don't like what he brought, there are other way of presenting it to him which I believe he will made adjustment


sorry to ask, which tribe are u from in Nigeria? coz am suspecting some foul play

Hello sis....
From ur story,........ this is the whole crux of the matter. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry.

Now i don't know ur financial status or his.. but if becos of wrapper and gold ur family got angry with him....... i'll say thats very unfair of u guys. Is it wrapper u want to marry Is he of a good character, nice, accommodating etc? thats what u guys are suppose to be concerned about... NOT WRAPPER OR GOLD OK?

You guys probably gave them the wrong picture about ur family.....IF I WAS THEM, I WOULD HAVE RUN TOO. Look over the things i said up, reflect on them. However Don't call him back. DON'T. take it to God in prayers. If he is the one, he will come bk. If he isn't, don't blame ur herself. Everything happens for a reason and a lesson. The next true guy will come along. He too wont be perfect. He may or may not give u expensive wrappers and gold jewelry, but dont put that at heart. Those things can always come later. THEY AREN'T IMPORTANT.

You seem a very nice person and good at heart. Don't cry. Don't fret. All is good that ends well
I wish you the best in life. Take care.

ChiefSweetus:
OP sounds like a silver spoon entitled petulant nag with snobbish mother who didnt work hard but became proud when her gentle husband hit gold.

Mother wants society wedding with Chief & Mrs Bleep's rich and handsome son.

OPs boyfriend is selfmade. His monthly earning is about 600k right now.. but they dont know he's going to be way more successful in 10yrs. Even if they know, they dont care.. they want their sweet and intelligent USA PHD daughter to marry into old money or "pedigree".

OPs boyfriend is finally realising the truth. There will be no happiness with an insatiable horror of a mother in law.. and a naive nagging entitled sanctimonous princess bride who doesnt even suck dïckkk.

His ego has kept him in the relationship thus far because he enjoys his friends telling oboy your babe set.. fine girl, rich family, even if she no sabi cook baba una go hire maid.

Also, OP is Roman Catholic and boyfriend isnt.

If I'm wrong on any of these I'll delete my NL.

You deserve this.

if truly u love him,you should have accepted anything he offers. material things #goldjeweries# should be a minor thing...I think you're too harsh on him and learn to settle every dispute privately without telling your parent..his still our man

Why is everyone here insulting the lady? Someone came to seek for advice and instead of giving her what she seeks.. you guys turned it to insults.

Once one person says something every other person that comments will just follow the same.

One word "incompatibility". If after 7 years you still do not understand what up-set your man, then something is terribly wrong. You did not state the financial status of your man, that would have helped in shaping my advice as regards the gold jewelry issue. Please do not allow your parents taste or cravings determine your own standard. Please put down your idiosyncrasies- attitude about being in USA, PHD in view, from a wealthy home, uncontrolled temperament and budding feminist activism. No real dud would want his pride to be taken away; not for love or money.
Hold an all embracing talk with him and promise to respect his opinion and standing in life. Bet you, your man will run back to you.

Was it also the mother that asked her to turn the porn matter to an issue ?
Op needs to be talked to.
Swallow all ds ya yeye pride and live simply.

neocortex:
His excuse for breaking up is just an excuse, what
he really wish for is a wife that answers "Yes Sir" to
everything he does and you don't happen to fit that
description.
So, let him go for his type.

Next time, don't put your eggs in one basket.

If in dis dispensation u could say this that its just an excuse den I say u r more dillusional dan OP herself

praisehim:


The above is the best advice anyone can give you. Please stop picking fight over trivial things. Reach out to him, I believe you guys love each other in time he is going to calm down. Though you can register your displeasure that you don't like cheap things, but it doesn't worth fighting over.

If she wanted a gold , she could have saved money to buy some for herself, after all some Ladies buy some of the the things to cover their husband. If she really love her husband, she won't be looking at material things. I believe at her level, she is more than that.

If you dont want your marriage to end up like that of Mercy Aigbe, dont marry him

Babe my wife said; you are too proud, saucy and arrogant.

lovethchioma:
Why is everyone here insulting the lady? Someone came to seek for advice and instead of giving her what she seeks.. you guys turned it to insults.

Once one person says something every other person that comments will just follow the same.

It's not an insult but an advise which she asked for herself....

tayorh:
1. Your parents don't like the guy.

2. Sign up for anger management classes.

3. Learn to table your issues in a more subtle manner.

4. Let him explain what he doesn't like about you even if he won't come back to you, you can work on the bad ones so as to not make the same mistake again.

5. The guy is definitely crazy about you, travelling to the United States to see you.

6. The guy's parent probably warned him to leave you because you are materialistic.

7. Sit Down, be Humble.

1.possibly
2.unnecessary
3.agree
4not necessary. Do a self examination yourself. You don't need anyone's opinion to evaluate where you're wrong. The next man might not think the same way.people are different and what annoys people differs
5.kini big deal.he came OF HIS OWN ACCORD.HE WASN'T FORCED OR EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED.he could have communicated with her via Skype,phone calls, text messages, whatsapp video calls or messages.I mean there are many ways of communicating to others in another country. This is 2017.ICT is everywhere so don't make it look as if he did her a huge favor. He felt like going that's why he went if he didn't want to go nothing will make him to
6.did she say she's the vain or materialistic type whobis always asking her boyfriend for everything
7.msheewwww.so because a relationship didn't lead to marriage that is what made her not humble.


Smh

Reading all the comments make me wonder if people didn't read the part where she said he and his people went to pay her bride price.

She's married already, in the eyes of God. So what's with the he doesnt want to marry again. He has married you already OP, if he now wants a divorce its another thing entirely.


Which one is marriage, the one where you wear gown ?

IamAirforce1:
I can't date or marry someone like you

You're one hell of a pack.

she sound like a gold digger, the guy wakeup instantly.

PatriotTemidayo:
Every piece of advice am about to give is curled out of your write-up. First, I think you think too highly of yourself and less about him. Secondly, picking a fight over him watching porn describe you as Naive and close-minded cus like you've said, you're in the US and he's in Nigeria, how else did you think he survived? Thirdly, you do not appreciate the fact that while you're busy pursuing you personal educational agendas, he was very understanding for waiting for you, that was a big sacrifice.
Lastly, you live in the US and called Nigeria's Item inferior? That's absolute ignorance. I think your parents and family are top used to very expensive and imported items that they forgot that stuffs in Nigeria ain't exactly the same quality as that of the US, and I am sure your people just wanna make an issue for this. I think they got another hidden suitor someone and I think they suddenly think your man of 7 years is not worthy of their heavy investment who is now a PhD in-making.

Think.

You said they dont wanna sell you so why should box of gold matter?

If they don't wanna collect so much money from his family, so how much does a box of gold cost?

As far as am concerned, he has the right to break up with your ass cuz you've been so carried away with the word "YOU" that you forget you're trying to build a relationship, and not a factory.

Don't blame him, but make amend. And make it humbly. Your doctorate degree, your Green card and your family and stuffs wouldn't help you get a man. He was your man b4 you got to this level, be wise.

Kisses! Kisses!!! Blessings on blessing for the detailed step by step response. You nailed it. So I can't add anything to it. She who has ears let her hear for no degree and wealth buys a good man or happy home at the end of the day. If na lie I talk make we ask the self made Linda with her wealth, sebi she say she fit buy husband? Or why Lilian Esoro run commot from man wey get money?

It's only a worthless bastard that stays in a relationship where he's treated like a worthless bastard.

gbegudujo:
Babe my wife said; you are too proud, saucy and arrogant.

egbami.

Has your wife lived with her,worked with her or knows her that personally for her to reach that conclusion. Does she also know the guy in question

neocortex:
His excuse for breaking up is just an excuse, what
he really wish for is a wife that answers "Yes Sir" to
everything he does and you don't happen to fit that
description.
So, let him go for his type.

Next time, don't put your eggs in one basket.

Please put your eggs in 20 "amanode" baskets. This is what you can come up with?

beautiful232:
move on babe
a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

GOD will send someone better and someone that is meant for you ok...

Someone that will buy gold and diamond for her.

OP READ THIS.
1.Anyone who wants to enjoy love must play the role of a fool sometimes while applying wisdom or intelligence when necessary. Pretend you never knew what he got you where not gold. tell your parents you don't care if it is gold or not since you love him.

2. Humility is very important both in relationship and in other aspect. Bring yourself down for your man and you will enjoy him forever. Don't always fight him with words as a woman is always calm and organises, that is why we say they have a big heart and can calm any situation down.

3. Appreciate and support what ever he gives you or if you are financially balanced than him, support him and humbly plead with him to get you what you want even if he says noo, don't be annoyed, still appreciate and support his decision, later he will give you a gift you never imagined.

4. ladies are supposed to be our Babies not our OPPONENT to fight with. please be the baby and allow him to take care of you the way he likes, if he is defaulting, cry to him and tell him and he will change.

AFTER NOW, SEND HIM A MESSAGE OF APOLOGY AND EVEN CALL HIM, FORGET WHO IS RIGHT OR WRONG IF YOU TRULLY LOVE HIM. USE A SOFT VOICE TO TALK TO HIM FROM NOW ONWARDS, ADD PRAYERS TO IT AND HE WILL COME BACK

CuddleMe:
I weak, porn that everybody watch both male and females.

I don't agree with this one. If you live outside Nigeria don't watch porn on another person's laptop it could cost them their job,reputation or prison depending on their profession especially if it is used for work. We can all see the grief Hillary Clinton went through. I have nothing against people watching porn but if you do it in the USA be almost sure it is recorded against your name unless you take professional steps to hide it. So if that sort of thing is going to happen in my name I should have a say. If you are applying for a Green Card you don't want to be doing careless things
Every other thing is just vanity,that the items he bought were cheap? OP just revealed a side to her background that will make many men run.Any man that marries her marries trouble

SammyAx:
I met him in 2010, and I had to leave for graduate school in 2012. We continued dating and he visited me in the U.S as often as he could. After one of such visits, i discovered he had used my laptop to watch pornography. We had a fight, broke up, then made up again.

I am currently studying for my Doctorate and my greencard application (thru sister) is pending, therefore, i cannot travel out of the country now. So last year we decided to do our wedding in the U.S, and he and his family went to my family in Nigeria to pay my bride price.

My dad gave them a small price because he said we don't need their money and he is not selling me. But the problem was that the boxes of items they were to bring for me ended up being all cheap stuff, not even one single set of gold jewelry. My mum was unhappy and embarrassed, and i was terribly unhappy too. His excuse was that they didn't think the stuff would actually get to me since i am far away. My mum actually sent some of the stuff to me to see for myself. So we got into a huge fight and didn't speak for weeks. I later reached out to try and sort out our differences but he now says that he doesn't want to get married anymore.

I am distraught and embarrassed to even tell my family now because i had to fight for him and stand on my decision despite their hesitations. Is this relationship worth fighting for at all anymore? Do I deserve this after all this time?

So OP you only create account just to post this.

Ok. btw I think everything u need to know is on the first page.

Either you love the guy in which case you should humble yourself before the Lord and ask for forgiveness with promise never to act drama for him again OR you just face your book.