I don’t think a wife should be submissive to her husbands but she has to treat him with deference. She doesn’t necessarily have to do everything he says, but she has to consider what he said when making her decision. On the other hand, the husband should also respect the wife enough to consider her input.

I think most males play the dominant role due to their inherent genetic makeup. Men create a lot of testosterone naturally, a lot more than a woman, which makes them more aggressive.

But hormone alone doesn’t account for men playing the dominant role; sometimes it’s just how it is. For example, it is hard to pinpoint why some people are natural born leaders and other would rather follow. Also, how do you explain a relationship were the female takes the dominant role? Some people, Type A personality type, just have to be in charge regardless of their gender.

sugabelly:

And what gives the man the right to be the one to take the lead? Why can't the woman lead? Abeg. It is women that cause ALL their own problems by lying down and rolling over and allowing men to walk all over them.

I do not believe in submission. In any way, shape or form.

that's true. it's a problem when a man starts lording it over his wife. i'm naturally submissive and very likely to let others have their way, but i won't let a guy tell me what to do with my life (what to wear, where to go), or impose his will over me. i can't even be in a relationship with a guy who has to have his way all the time, or who doesn't value my contributions. maybe i'm naive but i expect couples to treat each other with love and respect always.

sugabelly:

If he doesn't like it he can sleep outside.

And if he sleeps with someone else, I'll bite his p enis off.

End of.

How dare he? What rubbish.

sugabelly:

Relationships are dog eat dog.  Men are like puppies. If you don't assert your dominance over them early on, they'll walk all over you. I don't know about you, but I am not ready to be Omega dog to some fool's Alpha. I'd rather be one of two in a double Alpha dog pack than roll over and play Beta just because he's a man.

i know, and i try to talk tough with them (that's about as tough as i can be). i can't cope with continuous strife, i would either get out of the relationship or keep giving in till i can't cope anymore. i've seen firsthand how devastating it can be to a woman to continuously give in to a man's whims and i just can't do that to myself. that's why i say i can only hope for a good guy, who isn't looking for a woman to control.

H2O2:

gl please marry me o

GL, I'm going to treat your wink as a yes. LOL

H2O2:

lmao

tell me u aint ever seen that fuckery before

sugabelly:

What is this Nigerian obsession with women and submission? The Bible was written according to JEWISH culture.

In other words, if you are not from Israel, and your wife is not from Israel, then I beg of you get the f uck back and stop disturbing us.

There are so many silly Nigerian men out there that keep coming on Nairaland and complaining about how women are not 'submissive enough' and how women are becoming 'westernized' and there are more than a few equally silly Nigerian women supporting them and spouting the same bullshit.

Well here's a newsflash for you:

1. Submission is not part of our culture. Nigerian women were the breadwinners of the family (with their trade and other economic activities) for thousands of years before those missionaries came and filled your heads with bullshit.

So, if anyone is behaving in a Western manner it is you silly Nigerian men that are desperate to have someone submit to you so you can beat your chest and feel like a big man.

2. I don't know about you, but where I come from little boys are not born with accompanying female servants attached to their umbilical chords so if you are waiting for a woman to bow down to you and answer 'yes sah! no sah!' then you are wasting your time. Go out and achieve something with your life instead of looking for someone to put beneath you so you can feel important.

Your wife is not your servant, and even more importantly, your wife is  a GROWN ADULT. Adults don't roam about "obeying" other adults that are their mates and adults certainly don't roam about "obeying" their lovers. A relationship is a compromise. If you want something, you ASK NICELY (with please and thank you included) and if the person says no, you shut your trap and go do it yourself. No woman on this Earth and beyond it is under any obligation to serve or obey any man, husband or not.

Men need to stop fooling themselves and being silly. There are SO MANY threads like this on Nairaland. Should a woman be submissive? Should a woman wash her husband's clothes? nya! nya! nya!

Just stop it. Your silly dreams of a chauvinist utopia where women will meet the beck and call of men are just that: DREAMS! And they will never, NEVER come true. EVER. I'm tired of all these silly as f uck men with their  Dark Ages mentality.

Nobody is going to submit to you. And any woman who will is A SlowPoke or desperate or both.

Men who have confidence and pride in themselves and their accomplishments don't need to constantly look around for submissive lackeys to feel important.

Nonsense and ingredient. Is it only obey? Is it only submit? Why don't you daft men submit to your wives? Oya come and work for your wife! Wash her panties! Wash her bra! Plait her hair, help her dress, cook her dinner, clean the house, take after the children.

All you idiots know how to do is brag and complain about women meanwhile you are so ungrateful and unappreciative of all the things women sacrifice for you glorified spermatozoa donors.

In fact, it's not your fault. I blame the legions of silly NIGERIAN WOMEN that act as if marriage is a do or die affair. I blame every last one of them that start freaking out if they're not married by 25. Because their idiocy has given you men swollen heads. You now think you are so important that everyone should 'submit' to you.

Are you God? Why the hell should anyone submit to anyone else when they are just flesh and blood same as them? Who do you think you are, some kind of supernatural creature? Submission my foot. Rubbish. I blame those silly missionaries. They are the ones that filled the heads of Nigerian boys and men with poo and overinflated ideas of their own limited self-importance.

Rubbish. You men had better watch it. You do almost nothing yet go about making demands from women like you own the world. You had all better be careful. When technology advances far enough we'll just pack you all into a warehouse on the moon and milk you of your spermatozoa while women on Earth will have government issued vibrating dildos and visit spermatozoa banks for artificial insemination when they want to get pregnant.

It will be good riddance to all you silly men that think just because you have pe nises you can boss women around.

Submission ni, Submission ko.

harsh words miss ma'am
but your right on so many points

bluespice:

tell me u aint ever seen that fuckery before

LoL only African Americans

naw man obviously the 'sammich' bit was a borrowed term
but it's still the same thing
they get butt hurt over the whole submission ish but aint ready to either lift a finger to be useful for themselves or even the woman

those are useless men. women should know better than to marry useless men.

unfortunately, many men still go around with the mentality of 'women are meant to provide for serve me and my children
note the possessive noun used.
therefore, going by your statement, many men are useless. A statement most ladies have used at least thrice in their lives, meaning they were right, many men are indeed useless.

H2O2:

GL, I'm going to treat your wink as a yes. LOL

 


@ Sugabelly,

i agree that it's annoying that so many nigerian women freak out if they are single at 25. it's like we're being pressured to get married as soon as possible. it's not a do-or-die affair, better to be single than to get married to a guy you can't live with.

Maybe because they like other positions apart from the missionary position.  

H2O2:

those are useless men. women should know better than to marry useless men.

sometimes they put on good disguises before marriage, so the woman has no inclination of how useless her husband is until after several years of marriage.

Foriegn babes are more Submissive than Nigerian babes. Fact! They know the value of Nigerian Men.

I foresee a growth in the rate of Umarried female adults in Nigeria due to their Neglect of basic cultural and Natural marital roles.

If a woman is not submissive to her Man, then She shouldn't get married. She should keep flirting around to make men submissive.
Afterall, it is men that fall head over heels (In Love) with them more. That is why they treat men like fools who don't know what they want.

Caution for Women that are not submissive: Your husbands will definitely cheat on you once he sees a more submissive woman around. It is pure human nature.  

H2O2:

those are useless men. women should know better than to marry useless men.

It doesnt begin to materialise when they marry, sh1t starts when they dating. If i'm dating you, you have absolutely no right to tell me to do your laundry (the fc-uk we got laundrettes for?) if you're sick or other wise indisposed, that's understandable lil things like this are examples; submission to many people (both men and women) is another word for glorified slavery. Glorified cos you get to live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, bear the same surname (the doods will rarely ever let her retain her maiden name for any reason), and have sex together.

GL:

 


@ Sugabelly,

i agree that it's annoying that so many nigerian women freak out if they are single at 25. it's like we're being pressured to get married as soon as possible. it's not a do-or-die affair, better to be single than to get married to a guy you can't live with.

Quite frankly i think getting married before 25 is a joke, what's the rush? my mom didn't get married till she was 29, don't recall any of her, my dad's or her siblings' stories depicting her as either desperate or lacking suitors. Ladies all over should realise marriage is not a status, it's a full time commitment why rush into it?

bluespice:

It doesnt begin to materialise when they marry, sh1t starts when they dating. If i'm dating you, you have absolutely no right to tell me to do your laundry (the fc-uk we got laundrettes for?) if you're sick or other wise indisposed, that's understandable lil things like this are examples; submission to many people (both men and women) is another word for glorified slavery. Glorified cos you get to live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, bear the same surname (the doods will rarely ever let her retain her maiden name for any reason), and have intimacy together.

any girl that would date such a guy, stick with him and go ahead to marry him deserves anything she gets.

submission has been taken to new heights you know. . .
hitting if she isn't 'submissive' enough
smh

bluespice:

It doesnt begin to materialise when they marry, sh1t starts when they dating. If i'm dating you, you have absolutely no right to tell me to do your laundry (the fc-uk we got laundrettes for?) if you're sick or other wise indisposed, that's understandable lil things like this are examples; submission to many people (both men and women) is another word for glorified slavery. Glorified cos you get to live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, bear the same surname (the doods will rarely ever let her retain her maiden name for any reason), and have intimacy together.

You are Pathetic babe, very Pathetic. You better go and get married to a foriegn geek to avoid heartbreaks. Any Nigerian man that tells you that he's okay with your attitude does not LOVE you. He either loves your money, or is in the relationship for some lustful reasons. He will leave you as soon as he is well to do or satisfied, and look for a more submissive woman.
My advise, become a lesbian, or an independent spinster, or a constant divorcee.
Forget a happy and everlasting marriage.

Justcash:

You are Pathetic babe, very Pathetic. You better go and get married to a foriegn geek to avoid heartbreaks. Any Nigerian man that tells you that he's okay with your attitude does not LOVE you. He either loves your money, or is in the relationship for some lustful reasons. He will leave you as soon as he is well to do or satisfied, and look for a more submissive woman.
My advise, become a lesbian, or an independent spinster, or a constant divorcee.
Forget a happy and everlasting marriage.

several steps ahead of you.
i'm not marrying, i don't believe in love and i'm lesbian.

bluespice:

several steps ahead of you.
i'm not marrying, i don't believe in love and i'm lesbian.

Very Good. That way, you can remain very happy. I'm happy for you.

you're so tiny brained it's adorable

Justcash:

You are Pathetic babe, very Pathetic. You better go and get married to a foriegn geek to avoid heartbreaks. Any Nigerian man that tells you that he's okay with your attitude does not LOVE you. He either loves your money, or is in the relationship for some lustful reasons. He will leave you as soon as he is well to do or satisfied, and look for a more submissive woman.
My advise, become a lesbian, or an independent spinster, or a constant divorcee.
Forget a happy and everlasting marriage.

u think it's pathetic that a woman doesn't want to be ordered about? what's wrong with a woman wanting to be respected? if you cannot love such a woman, there are men who can. a man who treats his wife as a glorified slave is pathetic.

btw, why do people say "be a lesbian" or something like that anytime a woman refuses to be walked over by men. i like to believe that some guys actually want women they can regard as equals. however, i'd rather be a happy spinster than a slave-wife.

bluespice:

you're so tiny brained it's adorable

A tiny brained person cannot predict that you will definitely not get into a Happy and long lasting marriage with a Man.

It is tiny brained people that derive pleasure from relationships with people of the same sex.

Intelligent Ladies know how to be submissive, yet very attractive forever. That Way, they keep their Men in love for eternity. Being submissive doesn't mean becoming a slave. It means giving yourself to your husband to love. Once you see it as slavery you tend to be wornout and unattractive in it, thereby putting your man off. He gets tempted when he sees more attractive women.

However, I don't have any problem with you being gay because it will save men from mistakingly falling for you and getting in your marriage trap.

if you couldn't see that i directly rebutted everything you said to make a point,
tell me how am i wrong in saying you're tiny brained?

GL:


u think it's pathetic that a woman doesn't want to be ordered about? what's wrong with a woman wanting to be respected? if you cannot love such a woman, there are men who can. a man who treats his wife as a glorified slave is pathetic.

btw, why do people say "be a lesbian" or something like that anytime a woman refuses to be walked over by men. i like to believe that some guys actually want women they can regard as equals. however, i'd rather be a happy spinster than a slave-wife.

Dear GL, Check the real meaning of being submissive to your husband.
When you are submissive to your parents, it doesn't mean that you are a slave. You still get the same care, love and respect that is due for Children.
Women needs to be submissive to keep the relationship working. It is not only cultural, but natural.
Your husband will only feel the pinch of responsibility when he feels and know that he own you, and is responsible for your psychological and physiological wellbeing. He will find it difficult to fall into other women's trap when he is aware that no Woman can ever be as submissive as you are to him. It is a Wife's submission that makes a Man seem like his wife's fool in the face of his married friends who are fighting for sex supremacy with their wives.

I heard a sermon on this a couple years ago; most of it I've forgotten (unfortunately) but one part that's stuck with me is that while the verse does say for wives to submit to their husbands, husbands are supposed to love their wives and not abuse them. While the husband is the head of the relationship, he's still supposed to look out for his wife and act in a way that will enhance and encourage her and the relationship, not just do whatever he wants and expect the wife to go along with it. Also, the wife is still supposed to support and encourage her husband, and this includes letting him know if he's crossing the line and heading in the wrong direction.

Basically it's about loving each other and having mutual respect, supporting and guiding each other. but African men take things so differently.

bluespice:

if you couldn't see that i directly rebutted everything you said to make a point,
tell me how am i wrong in saying you're tiny brained?

Why turn back on a statement that you made emphatically, when there was no hint to make a right thinking person doubt it.
It is only tiny brained people that would have doubted that statement you made. It really fits you. For Real.  

Justcash:

Dear GL, Check the real meaning of being submissive to your husband.
When you are submissive to your parents, it doesn't mean that you are a slave. You still get the same care, love and respect that is due for Children.
Women needs to be submissive to keep the relationship working. It is not only cultural, but natural.
Your husband will only feel the pinch of responsibility when he feels and know that he own you, and is responsible for your psychological and physiological wellbeing. He will find it difficult to fall into other women's trap when he is aware that no Woman can ever be as submissive as you are to him. It is a Wife's submission that makes a Man seem like his wife's fool in the face of their married friends who are fighting for sex supremacy with their wives.

your argument is invalid

bluespice:

your argument is invalid

I'v told you what to do. Continue being a Lesbian and don't ever think of getting into a happy marriage.

I don't expect a lesbian to be submissive, so it will definitely be invalid to you. I understand.

will you seriously get the fc-uk outta here with your pathetic attempt at a sensible post?
do you know what submission is?
do you know what submission entails?
if i don't want to lick any dumb fc-uk's arse irrespective of gender and that makes me the most un submissive woman on this planet, how the fc-uk is it your problem?
get off my ti-ts already!!

ps: lesbians are human beings and not a different race or specie, whatever applies to straight people applies to them and other gay people also, so do yourself a favour and get educated or shut your gob

sexyLeamon:

I heard a sermon on this a couple years ago; most of it I've forgotten (unfortunately) but one part that's stuck with me is that while the verse does say for wives to submit to their husbands, husbands are supposed to love their wives and not abuse them. While the husband is the head of the relationship, he's still supposed to look out for his wife and act in a way that will enhance and encourage her and the relationship, not just do whatever he wants and expect the wife to go along with it. Also, the wife is still supposed to support and encourage her husband, and this includes letting him know if he's crossing the line and heading in the wrong direction.
Basically it's about loving each other and having mutual respect, supporting and guiding each other. but African men take things so differently.

Submission doe not mean slavery. Some cultures and religions surpport Wive's slavery. However, Christianity does not surpport it. It surpports submission of Wives to their role in the Family. Husbands also have some submissions to make to their wives. A Wife's submission is bigger, while the husband's responsibility is definitely bigger.
Westerners, especially those that doesn't have religions and cultures just live their lives without a specific pattern. This explains the high divorce rate in those areas.

Some people can yarn dust sha. It's funny how they scream westerners don't do this and that.
This Christianity of a religion, did it originate from Africa?

Please people, find out the meaning of 'culture', there's no place without one. Africans always feeling like they know best, and they wonder why the place is still backward.

a

Justcash:

Dear GL, Check the real meaning of being submissive to your husband.
When you are submissive to your parents, it doesn't mean that you are a slave. You still get the same care, love and respect that is due for Children.
Women needs to be submissive to keep the relationship working. It is not only cultural, but natural.
Your husband will only feel the pinch of responsibility when he feels and know that he own you, and is responsible for your psychological and physiological wellbeing. He will find it difficult to fall into other women's trap when he is aware that no Woman can ever be as submissive as you are to him. It is a Wife's submission that makes a Man seem like his wife's fool in the face of his married friends who are fighting for sex supremacy with their wives.

.
are you an idiot? are you really comparing a child's submission to a parent to a grown adult?? News flash, your Wife is a grown adult. She is a human being just like you. Do you like being submissive to somebody? African men and their false sense of superiority is laughable. Please check you ego and if you want something that will obey your every order. Thats what a Dog is for. Go marry one, I am pretty sure you will be satisfied.