It is not normal, it is so wrong, soon they will start seeing each other, going out on a date, then spending the night with each other. Put a stop to it now. It's either she stop communicating with him or she pack her things and go stay eith the man. Another suggestion, request for the man's wife number and make her your best friend also.. suggest this to your wife, and see her reaction.

having opposite sex has best friend is like having a chicken as pet .....na for chop last last

MissRaine69:
I am 100% certain the “best friends” wife does not know about their “friendship”. Do you know the name of his wife? If not how come the pair of you have not been introduced . See true friends are not hidden in the shadows and[b] it’s not about insecurities it’s about boundaries and respect.
[/b]

Very correct... Some dumb f00ls can't differentiate it tho

Ifakiland:

law of karma my ass, how did idi amin die? lemme remind u, he died a peaceful death in his sleep in Saudi Arabia...after killing thousands of people. where was karma??
it's only weak people dat reason the way you do. karma ko, kamarudin ni

Karma....Karma deals with the offspring sometimes. That you killed doesn't mean you will be killed, but your innocent grand child that is about to become a great doctor can be burnt to death with tire & fuel on the ground of false accusation. Fear karma!!!

Cut the evil seed off now before it germinate . This is purely emotional adultery.

Use your brain not keypad.

Charlynega:


Watch her closely and if you find out anything suspicious, confront her. But if you don't, you can free her

some advice na hard vices �� you wey give this hard vice u go green make me and your wife be best friend

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

Jealousy jealousy , I won't be suprise you also have female friends you chat with on your phone though. Anyways I will advise you watch her closely, it is not a bad thing for her to have Male friends, but as far as I'm concerned you are supposed to be her best male friend. For her to have the boldness to tell you the guy is her best friend alone is a red flag. But don't be too jealous, it is also your duty to watch her closely in order to stop her from committing any indesireable act..

Women are emotional, so be very careful not to handle this emotionally, Rather; Concentrate on whatsoever trick the guy might be using to get her attention..

I also suspect you haven't verbally inform your wife that you are not comfortable with their conversation. If you have, then you may continue to say it to her jokingly to ascertain it, especially when you both are having fun, tell her that it doesn't really baffle you that you are only concerned about her.. Don't be suprise if she had known the guy before, peharps the guy might even be one of her ex..

Don't take it too personal, handle it like a father advising his daughter.

In this situation, it's best not to react with words, rather with action. Simply mirror her actions. Get a female bestie too and rub it all up in her face. Watch and observe the way she reacts.

That will answer your question.

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

My brother, your wife should stop it, if she want her marriage. Cos before u no it, she will start developing feelings for the guy.

Ifakiland:

the last married woman I was screwing also called me a male bestie to her hubby

Oshey, screwdriver.

Ab025:
I don't think it is bad for your wife to have a friend.

The only problem i have is her calling another man her bestfriend, you should be her bestfriend ......not another man.

Something is wrong somewhere....

God go bless mama wey born you....op try and pick on this guy comment.

Tekzyflex:
It's simple just get hold of your wife's phone and delete is number and also block him on whatsapp and see your wife reaction.

You have a point tho....

delugajackson:
That's how it starts. From "best friend", he becomes a shoulder to cry on, and later, a díck to ride on. Marriage is only meant for two and no third party should be involved.

For the safety of your sanity, I suggest you inform her of how uncomfortable you feel about this development. You need to be firm and possessive at times. You are, and should remain her only best friend. No room for "external competitors."

She will later cheat on him if he doesn't checkmate her now...
My instinct tho..

That's how infidelity starts.
if you don't act now to cut it off by instructing her to do just that then be ready to face the consequence when it matures I to infidelity.
You don't put fire on the roof and go to sleep as if all is well. it will consume everything you have worked for all your life..
Some ladies are carefree. This is what happens in offices today that always lead to office romance which I have seen before.. I can assure you if your wife doesn't see it as a dangerous thing to avoid some day to come she will fall into extra-marital affairs. Women are emotional beings and the day you are not there for her emotionally she will go for the substitute. Its a time bomb waiting to explode. Its a matter of time.

IntrovertedK:
Best friends are best friends irrespective of the gender. Some of them are not meant to be left alone and forgotten just because of marriage. Don't marry who you don't/can't trust. Some best friends are part of us and some of them are bigger than marriage. They are like our blood that we can do without. If you think i'm lying ask jada pinkett smith. She'd choose 2Pac over anyone in life even though they are 'just' best friends. I'm sure even will smith wouldn't have been able to separate them if 2pac should still be alive. Best friends are great gift. Sometimes we need them more than our family cuz most of them are more than that.

The only thing the woman is to do is to try her best to give the husband the reason to trust her. You lots should stop being insecure.

always try to be reasonable at least, and stop talking trash, no best friend can be more than a family, and stop quoting that you read online as evidence, smith this smith that as if u were there, there's every reason for the man to be worried, any little secret about the family is easily said to the best crap, if he had the chance he will sleep with her,

Jasen1:



You can email me your number via sam300656@gmail.com

I will do video tut for you and send to you via what's app

Thanks. I doing that right away

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

are u sure she told this 'best friend' that she is married?

Spatta:
Have you all noticed that ladies are not responding to this very serious and sensitive issues?
I know why.
Girls of cheap moral values. Libidinous generation

ho can they respond when they are guilty of the offence. let them keep reading so that they will learn

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

Wow... my brother, you need to let her understand the “respect of rules” in marriages, it’s not advisable for her or you to have a best friend of opposite sex... a woman or man that respect her partner will always learn to respect his or her wish. Even if she had been best friend with him from secondary school, it’s no excuse, and your wife is suppose to limit all possible means of communication with him... I can’t understand why she would want to jeopardize her marriage for a so called male best friend wow...

I’ll suggest you talk to your wife in a subtle manner, don’t allow anger control your mind,cause it usually result to chaos, and you’ll end up using the wrong words to get to her, so, just take it easy on yourself, and on her too, and also try to understand why she’s giving the best friend more attention than you, cause you are supposed to be her best friend, I mean does it mean, that if anything happens inside the house she’ll find solace in sharing it with him? Rather than talking about it with you, that’s if there’s no fluent or friendly communication between you both.

So just be calm and handle it all with love, unless it gets out of hands then you’ll then decide on what to do next.

All the best ...

hollowpot15684:


Jealousy jealousy , I won't be suprise you also have female friends you chat with on your phone though. Anyways I will advise you watch her closely, it is not a bad thing for her to have Male friends, but as far as I'm concerned you are supposed to be her best male friend. For her to have the boldness to tell you the guy is her best friend alone is a red flag. But don't be too jealous, it is also your duty to watch her closely in order to stop her from committing any indesireable act..

Women are emotional, so be very careful not to handle this emotionally, Rather; Concentrate on whatsoever trick the guy might be using to get her attention..

I also suspect you haven't verbally inform your wife that you are not comfortable with their conversation. If you have, then you may continue to say it to her jokingly to ascertain it, especially when you both are having fun, tell her that it doesn't really baffle you that you are only concerned about her.. Don't be suprise if she had known the guy before, peharps the guy might even be one of her ex..

Don't take it too personal, handle it like a father advising his daughter.

Your response is similar to mine, so far the best I’ve read here. Nice one my brother... people should learn to give advice in a proper manner, cause you never know you might be saving someone’s life one way or the other.

MissRaine69:
I am 100% certain the “best friends” wife does not know about their “friendship”. Do you know the name of his wife? If not how come the pair of you have not been introduced . See true friends are not hidden in the shadows and it’s not about insecurities it’s about boundaries and respect.

gbayi

Jasen1:



You can email me your number via sam300656@gmail.com

I will do video tut for you and send to you via what's app

Jasen1:



You can email me your number via sam300656@gmail.com

I will do video tut for you and send to you via what's app

Jasen1:



You can email me your number via sam300656@gmail.com

I will do video tut for you and send to you via what's app

Guy pls am also interested.

You can’t be really close to the opposite sex without having some kind of emotions involved. I don’t approve of it . I have guy friends but we’re not speaking everyday and every minute. It’s just weird to me. If you ask her to limit her communication with him and she doesn’t, you know where you stand.

2buffagain:


Again with the nairaland binary logic.

I did not say anybody should be left alone and forgotten. I said their role is to be diminished (https://www.google.com/search?q=diminished).
A best friend is someone you have long calls with many times a week or so and discuss everything with including your personal life.
It is foolishness if that kind of closeness is with a member of the opposite sex that is not your spouse after marriage.
Unless you want to one day find yourself unknowingly raising your wife's best-friend's child, You would do well to establish such boundaries.

I strongly believe that in order for man and woman to be "best friends" or even friends, it means there is an element of attraction. It could be small, it could be one-sided, but it must be there. This is wisdom I am giving you.

I have girls who I chill with on that level, but I know this chilling would not be possible if they were not in a way attracted to me.
Girls generally don't develop close friendships with guys they find repulsive Likewise guys!

Very true. My future guy can’t have any female friends and I like it like that. Can’t be paranoid and worried for nothing. Not even worth it tbh.

me I have male friends o... but they are respectful sha ... they value the friendship more than making a pass....
but as for hubby

he doesn't even have one
won't mind if he did ..its all about trust and knowing what boundaries you can't cross....

Saff:
Very true. My future guy can’t have any female friends and I like it like that. Can’t be paranoid and worried for nothing. Not even worth it tbh.

So how about all my crushes on Nairaland? You want me to abandon all the ladies?

zicoraads:

So how about all my crushes on Nairaland? You want me to abandon all the ladies?

Yup. You gotta throw them in the trash

Saff:
Yup. You gotta throw them in the trash

zicoraads:

You belong to someone else, stop troubling me

Saff:
You belong to someone else, stop troubling me

Really? This is new to me. Who is that?

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

To be honest there isn't anything wrong with a married woman having a male friend so far she isn't cheating on her husband with the guy. But many married people (husband or wife) feel uncomfortable with it because of possible problems. I think one should apply wisdom, instead of her cutting him off entirely, suggest to her to reduce her chatting with him (because her talking always with him is worrisome) and you on your part increase your chatting with your wife. Ideally, the husband of woman should be her best friend not another man. Maybe the man offers her some attention and care you don't give and you need to step it up in your relationship with her.

Best of luck.

slap1:

Oshey, screwdriver.

ha my gee, you sabi the level.