I understand how u feel, I see nothing wrong with keeping
male friend but atleast she should know where to draw the line.
talk to her ask her to choose between her marriage and her bestie and if she refuse to change then u know what to do....

What a question

minasota:
I understand how u feel, I see nothing wrong with keeping
male friend but atleast she should know where to draw the line.
talk to her ask her to choose between her marriage and her bestie and if she refuse to change then u know what to do....

This is why i HATE gals who keep male friends. They dont knowwhere to draw the line. Nigerian women are spoilt

A male best friend is like fire extinguisher inside glass case.... you break it when you need it... the day you and your wife get kasala... that's the guy she be smashing...

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

I had a female Best friend and she was married.whch she invited me to her marital home,God knwz what she told her
husband i was! The husband welcomed me wella & even told me some
secret about him self,not knw'n that i was d devil(God 4giv
me).it waz dia i knew dat women are powerful. 4rm my xpirence,i will neva let my wife have anything to do with male Friend evn village distance brother that is not of the same mother
guy wake up!!

profjustine458:
I had a female Best friend and she was married.whch she invited me to her marital home,God knwz what she told her
husband i was! The husband welcomed me wella & even told me some
secret about him self,not knw'n that i was d devil(God 4giv
me).it waz dia i knew dat women are powerful. 4rm my xpirence,i will neva let my wife hv anything 2 do with male Friend or guy wake up

Did you kpansh that woman?

You better go ask my guy famous wetin sup for en own matter at last.. nah so I warn my guy no listen.. nah later en eye clear when en later find out say nah the night en get small issh with en wife en wife Bleep her bb.. ����fowl no be pet bro.. you will surely eat it someday..

4601CE:
Did you kpansh that woman?

i go answer dat one later.make I drink coffee first

You are meant to be his best friend & hubby in as much as you 're married to her... just be observant and smart to know if there is anything going on btw the two.....some ladies tend to be smarter than some guys. I see no reason why another guy other than you should be her best friend.
I have witnessed such before....and guess what? I discover that she was cheating on me.

IntrovertedK:
Best friends are best friends irrespective of the gender. Some of them are not meant to be left alone and forgotten just because of marriage. Don't marry who you don't/can't trust. Some best friends are part of us and some of them are bigger than marriage. They are like our blood that we can do without. If you think i'm lying ask jada pinkett smith. She'd choose 2Pac over anyone in life even though they are 'just' best friends. I'm sure even will smith wouldn't have been able to separate them if 2pac should still be alive. Best friends are great gift. Sometimes we need them more than our family cuz most of them are more than that.

The only thing the woman is to do is to try her best to give the husband the reason to trust her. You lots should stop being insecure.

Sorry to quote you but I need to point out some facts that you are missing......, if the male best friend was that "her life" as
you wrote up there why didn't she marry him?... Secondly, why hasn't she officially introduce him and his wife to the husband since the so called best male friend is also married, why only being best friends on social network?... Thirdly, they have been married for 7 years but it is of late that the husband just got to know of this so-called best male friend... hmmmm.....something is not adding up..... You quoted Jada Pinkett and 2pac..that was easy because Will knew about it from the get go and was comfortable with it before getting involved with Jada....so it is not same with the situation at hand here.... How can a wife for crying out loud suddenly start having best male friend?

The summary of the thing is.... If your husband/wife can't be your best friend, why marry him or her?......Martiage is for just two persons, the husband and the wife only. Both can do all the gossip, gist and chats together for a healthy relationship!!.....It is when they cease to be each others best that they start to grow apart and ultimately divorce. If you check all divorced couple, this issue of growing apart played a significant role!!!


So make sure your hubby/wify is your best male /female friiend in your marriages!!!.....

Nollywood drama unfolding

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

Bro, that nigga has already slept with your wife or at least smooched her... you funny tho.. do you know how long you ought to know someone before that best friend tag is used? Your wife is married to you for crying out loud, she isn’t allowed to have a friendship like that... but if I was in your position then I will tell you what i will do... you are the man here so tell her to cut every form of communication and if she refuses then bro you get a female best friend who you hangout with and who is definitely single and searching.. someone to keep things balanced like hers.. don’t forget to kiss and don’t tell...

Capital NO

Sorry that's your family problem.

Alert!


Hack!

I own and run a grocery shop. My prime customers are majorly married women and nursing mothers.


There's this particular lady who picked so much interest on getting closer to me. And being a regular cash paying customer, I usually give her all the attentions she needed. I She's this kind of lady who always want to learn new things. From wanting to know the structure of my business, to how to set up a grocery business outlets and all those kind of related questions..sometimes, online or offline.


She comments mostly on all my WhatsApp status updates. Which I usually use as a medium to reach out to most of customers. Over time, I have been dreading the feeling her husband may feel when he sees my chat with her on WhatsApp. At such, I made sure I usually allow her to lead our chats. And always focused our conversation towards business area.



When I saw this post, I had to explore it because it has a lot to do with what's happening to me right now.


I'm currently reconsidering putting the lady on an arms length even when I know there's nothing fishy in between us.

My best judgement is that your wife is emotionally attached to the guy. It may also be a ploy to get you 'positively jealous'; perhaps, you never created time for her. In either case, do not toy with a woman's emotion. It can make her hate you for life.

Solution: Also pretend to have a 'female best friend'. Be so excited about it telling her that her own best friend is a learner when it comes to chatting. You must pretend to be really excited about this. Do this several times and watch her reactions.

She will most likely feel remorse and work out a solution (of course, that both of you should stay off 'opposite sex' best friends). When she does that, do not immediately agree until she practically begs for it, then reach a resolution .

If your wife does not bulge after this, then she may not really value her marriage to you (or you are not dramatic enough). Unless she is a type that habitually doesn't care (in that case, you would have known her for that) having been together for 7 years (excluding courtship period).

Whatever the case, do not forcefully stop her from conversing with the guy. If you do, it is a recipe for disaster in your home. Gracia!

Warning: if you cannot be 'excitedly pretentious', then don't try this solution because it may leave you more emotionally shattered if your wife gets a hint that you are faking it. Make it 'real' men.
.
Clue on strategy:
- Ignore her chats with her male best friend. Show that you no longer care
- If you are the type that leave your phone unlocked, now put a password
- Treat your wife better than you used to do, perhaps with small gifts that will not affect your financial plan
- While with your phone, sometimes withdraw into seclusion to press your phone (maybe playing games but pretend to be chatting).
- When you see her approaching, carefully put the phone in your pocket, as if you are hiding it. Attend to her naturally, be nice to her.
-This is the first phase, do this and let's see what happens. If this doesn't seem to move her, then we move to the next stage.
The goal of this strategy is to find mutual solution which she must initiate.

dem don dey fuc already
aooowww

simple, ask for an outing with him and his wife in attendance, collect his wife's number and start chatting with her too, intact, buy his wife gifts and be a good friend to her.watch the reaction of your wife and her husband, if neither of them is comfortable, then, let them too stop their own friendship. Attack is the best form of defense!

My brother, this one no be hear say... Women are not always stable having make bestie... Neverrrr

It is just how they were wired.. Though there maybe few Exceptional cases but I rarely.


Talking out of a experience.. I have two married female friends. I have been best friends to the two of them before they got married.. Though the two never knew each other.

The first who got married continued to chat with me and paid attention to me more than her husband even after she got married and within two years, we started chatting about sex.

We started planning she could hide and come to See Me. She started sending me her semi nude pics.. She tells me how much she loves me and all that.

I avoided meeting her because I felt for her husband but I enjoyed her naughty chats..


I swear, that lady is dam decent girl o. She married as a virgin and I can vow that she hardly give men a listening ear.. The only reason she started behaving like that was because my self and her are always chatting and calling. She didn't know when she lost her senses.. If not that I kept giving her excuses, she would have come to my place solely for sex.. Because she once asked me one night if I see her, what will I do to her.. I told her I will not touch her.. She went mad. She said I don't love her that why won't I touch her.. I said nothing.. She went offline.. I called and called her, she refused to pick. When she finally picked after hours, she said she was hurt. That I should promise I would make love to her. She said she is still pretty and just married for three years. She said many things to make me believe she is still hot and pretty. And seriously, the babe fine no be small. I then promised to sleep with her and she came back online. We continued our naughty chats.. She would tell me all the places she liked to be touched by me. My brother, if not that I pity for the man, I would have invited her over to my place. She didn't know my house address because I stay in another state a bit far from her. And she told her husband I was just a friend o. And truly, we were just friends with innocent mindsets.. How it got to that level, I can't tell.

The second girl is my friend too.. We used to have innocent chats until it suddenly changed to sex. We are planning how to lash as me and u dey read this now. She told her husband I'm her male friend. But what my self and that lady chat about eh.. Her husband fit faint if he sees it.

So, be strong o. Fight bro. Fight. Women don't know how to handle freedom.

Immediately I saw my fiancee chat any how, I used to come to her wig full force. No space for nonsense o.

Get the man phone number and call him and speak to him maturely, most naija men have conscience when it comes to things like this.. He may be willing to let yoir wife be than ur wife would be willing..

This has nothing to do with insecurity.. Don't try and be looking like u are matured and bla bla bla.. Water hi enter ur eyes o.

Best Dickķk! Hmmmmm!

Not it’s not normal

I’m just going to repeat what everyone else said and tell you to demand she cuts it off with him.

At this point any best friends of the opposite should become family friends. And the boundaries should be clear

You may allow her if d bestie is "Bobrisky"

IntrovertedK:
Best friends are best friends irrespective of the gender. Some of them are not meant to be left alone and forgotten just because of marriage. Don't marry who you don't/can't trust. Some best friends are part of us and some of them are bigger than marriage. They are like our blood that we can do without. If you think i'm lying ask jada pinkett smith. She'd choose 2Pac over anyone in life even though they are 'just' best friends. I'm sure even will smith wouldn't have been able to separate them if 2pac should still be alive. Best friends are great gift. Sometimes we need them more than our family cuz most of them are more than that.

The only thing the woman is to do is to try her best to give the husband the reason to trust her. You lots should stop being insecure.

The only way bestie is allowed is when he becomes a mutual family friend. He is free to chat your wife and you are free to chat his. Both families form a mutual quartet. A bestie with your wife is bound to cause problems later. Take it or leave it. Cheating ladies are very smart. They shall have gone far before you ever suspect. If she insist on the guy, get your own female bestie.

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

It's very simple.
You are married to her and the best friend is married to his wife.
Tell your wife to show you several pix of the so called male best friend's wife including their wedding pix.
Let you and your wife pay a visit to them in their apartment and you ask the wife of the best friend some serious questions.

If your wife does not agree to any of this, then well you've been played. But all the same you've got to act smart and not telling her your real intention of visiting them.

VictorRomanov:
That's emotional infidelity - the beginning of the actual infidelity.

This is the summary of the whole story.

Any spouse, Male or Female, who cannot GIVE UP any 'best friend of the OPPOSITE GENDER' for the sake of their marriage, is saying that there is more to that freindship, which is more than their marriage.

You might not have been able to see anything sexual in the 'friendship', it is not because it is not there, it is because she has so far, being very smart to conceal it.

Give her an expensive 'bugged phone' (as a birthday gift that she cant refuse to use!) that can phone-in on itself, snapping discreet pictures and letting you listen to the conversation around wherever that phone is, without the owner knowing ........and your worst dreams would be realised.

Or you too can find a "best friend" Female so that when she is doing her own, you are also doing your own and let her know about it wella wella (Suddenly jump up at 9pm and say you need to meet your best female friend who is stuck at the airport, so you can take her home.

Na that time she will realize that "mad man easy to observe for market but nobody wants to be called the parent of one".

donstan18:
If you are not comfortable with it, tell her to cut off from the man. She will obey you if she's a respectful wife.

Obviously she's not a respectful wife! She's already shown disrespect towards her husband by telling him she has a male bestie with further descriptions as married, met him just a couple of years back when she's been married for 7yrs! What more signs of disrespect are you looking for?

Just so it's clear on what I learnt on this thread, as a married man or woman, you can have best friends of the same sex but never of the opposite sex right? Or you just simply cut out any best friend you had, male or female once you get married?

Nb: BTW I understand fully the idea of your wife/husband being your best friend.

Gabrie300:
Hello Guys my name is Gabriel Johnson, Am 31 years. I have been married to my wife whom is 29 years for the past 7 years.. We are blessed with two kids.

But the thing is that, I see her chats with a Guy she knew 2 years ago. My wife says the Guy is her best friend nothing else.

Though I have not seen anything related to sex or that, but I don't feel comfortable with her chatting with this Particular Guy all the time. She claims the guy is married and I am not interested to know. All I want is for my Wife to cut him off. She's married for Christ sake.

Please narialanders help me with advice.

Am already loosing it.

dont ever allow your wife to b frnd with male if she refuse to let him go you can let her go period marriage is not small thing

It's not normal but possible. Depends on all of you, I am married I have a very close female friend who is also married we were classmates her husband attended same school, same department but a year ahead of us interestingly her husband and I are colleagues at work. Noticed lately husband was getting uncomfortable and she was also not helping matters she sometimes tries to compare so I started keeping my distance, so point is it happens but there should be history but if any party is uncomfortable then cut it, my coming here to say it is normal or not is not what matters issue is do you trust your wife, are u comfortable, do you know the guy and his family. I am not comfortable though that the bestfriendship started after marriage(redflag)

Why will a married woman v a male friend as her best friend? deos dat make sense ?

MissRaine69:
I am 100% certain the “best friends” wife does not know about their “friendship”. Do you know the name of his wife? If not how come the pair of you have not been introduced . See true friends are not hidden in the shadows and it’s not about insecurities it’s about boundaries and respect.

U r wise

Good morning Mr. Gabriel. In as much as she'd love to maintain her friendship or 'bestfriend-ship' with this certain man, I would tell you as it is. You're supposed to be her best friend. You're supposed to be her bestie. Should there be a reason why you're not or another person is and you aren't, I honestly think it's wrong.
PS: I'm not saying you should impose on her but just some long heart to heart convo would do. I believe she'll rethink. Thanks