VampireeM:
So she shouldnt be friends with her ex because you are who? Thats how she would have missed this job connection. you are just an insecure dude. Fiancée kor, if you serious marry her, get her a better job and dish rules as you like. You better grow up and act like a man and stop seeking validation from a faceless forum

Pls tell... how is a man to act? All humans are not wired the same you know?

From the way Op sounds, if she had told him openly, he would have given her some cash for an hotel or looked for an alternative.
To me, the lady had a hidden a gender. Hence, she didn't open up from the beginning.

The op is only pained because she slept over.
The question is, did she sleep on the floor while the ex slept on the bed? And to cut it, it's raining season, where the weather is always cold. I know the thoughts running through the op's mind.

But then this doesn't call for a break up yet. Still put her under observation. Handle it in a mature way. There should always be a room for a second chance. But then prepare your mind for the worst to happen to avoid any shock.

Which fiancee? All of you don't have scruples jare. If you had married her now, we can be calling you 'victim'.

Old firewood de easily catch fire
I still bang most of my ex.

She has gone back to her Ex-boyfriend, you were wonderful while you kept her warm after you won her heart. She has gotten a job and she needs it as a Human Being.

And She has to 'show appreciation' to the Ex-boyfriend, and he deserves it. Showing appreciate is not an easy task, especially because you are a part of her life, but then again, a higher thought will come. She will marvel on the 'What Ifs' of Life. She will realize that old enemies can become friends and even become very useful in the lives of the former allies and she will cherish what he has done, and how to 'cherish' or 'show appreciation' for an old good friend, is really on the way that the benefactor, will be fulfilled with. Sex is just one of those ways. Giving him her close friend is yet another way. Even buying him nice perfumes, is just another way. But most times, Okarafor's Laws of Congodynamics, always plays out. Remember, that a Well, once drilled to to a depth over the course of history, if covered by weed and there is need to re-dig it, it is always quite simple, to re-dig it again. Dr. Okarafor was a great man.

The above analogy is just one of the programming codes that run the modules of the human mind, and it does play out with every woman or man feeling justified in nature. It has to happen, it is natural.

But for you my friend, I know you know, and there are my guys and pals here who also know, that we know, what we needed to know, about what your darling girlfriend is going through in order to get the job.

You must accept the fact that what might have happened has happened, and the Gods understand everything.

You must forgive and take this as a weapon on your ego, if that relationship will survive is consequent on the power of forgiveness. Your forgiveness.

When you forgive, or if you forgive, you have defeated your ego. Ego death is a necessary step in the game of Love.

If you still feel too terrible after reading my write up, go out there and get yourself two bi-sexual girls and take them home and play all manners of love all night, with some Tequila Shots, do not forget the lime and salt. It will make you feel alright.

Good night.

Hmmmm... This is really a complicated matter..
Op plsill advise you just forget about this issue and mind on with your relationship is your truly love her, in this life anything can happen..
But take this pieces of advice, try to know her phone password, don't call her you're coming over to get place, just show up and give her some sleeping tablets. Gbam!.. Go through the damn phone and make your heart breaks into pieces....
Observance is the key to this issue...

Thank me later...

#pattoski...
#pattotelli....

Angy55:
From the way Op sounds, if she had told him openly, he would have given her some cash for an hotel or looked for an alternative.
To me, the lady had a hidden a gender. Hence, she didn't open up from the beginning.

The op is only pained because she slept over.
The question is, did she sleep on the floor while the ex slept on the bed? And to cut it, it's raining season, where the weather is always cold. I know the thoughts running through the op's mind.

But then this doesn't call for a break up yet. Still put her under observation. Handle it in a mature way. There should always be a room for a second chance. But then prepare your mind for the worst to happen to avoid any shock.

Hmmm weather is not cold where I am oh, Maybe you should come over If it's cold where you are, so you can be warm
Even if she's not cheating, there would be dry humping for sure. Asin, nothing goes for nothing as they say yeah?

GOD PUNISH APC MAYETTI ALLAH TERRORISTS PARTY

Am very sure they had night vigil together the day she stayed over at her ex place.

Bluezy13:


The point here is that the guy is not Comfortable with her hiding it.
Let alone sleeping overnight (who wouldn't think again)
She should have told him.

Even if he tells him,he will still be jealous

Really appreciate your kind advice..... For people that don't know me and pass judgment on me unna try........ I work and I get paid and I can afford hotel bills ,she would have say no if I ask her to stay at the hotel.that for sure I know...... For God sake 2weeks nitori olorun..... What if I did not ask...... Person way I wan propose for on her birthday..... Shai .... She sha just want to work. We've talk about learning hand work or working with a big pharmacy close to my place cos it's in line with what she study...... I no get plenty money oooo but abah I done dey build my house..... Plus dey give little out self .... Me just want loyalty nani. He no too much na? You slept in my place for three days and left my place for your ex place straight Abah..... Una fada

CAPSLOCKED:


THERE YOU HAVE IT. YOU'VE BEEN PLAYED.



FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE THIS MAN WILL ONLY CRY FOR A FEW DAYS AND WAVE EVERYTHING ASIDE. HE'S GETTING NOTHING FROM HER.. NO HONESTY, NO APOLOGIES, NO LOYALTY.
LOVE CAUSES THE BRAIN TO MALFUNCTION SOMETIMES.

Love is a mental aberration to the selfish, and a system override, to the jealous-less.

The proof of the aberration is lesbianism and sodomy, and the proof of the system override is when you go all out to spend all your mental energy and money with your lover not excluding your emotional investment, without even taking care of your own self. So what ever way you look at it, extreme selfishness or extreme selflessness is not cool.

Humanity must know that Sexual Relationships are not supposed to be restricted to just one partner through out a lifetime.

You can stay in relationship as long as the love and resources are there, and sometimes it is because of what they do for you that you love them. When the love expires, you move on, but once in a while both male and female have sex with other partners due to circumstances of life. We must accept these things and move on.

We must know that Sex is great and should not be tagged cheating when it is done outside the comforts of our bubbles.

Shitt happens, and will continue to happen while we are young and lustful.

If truly she slept in her ex house, then she can not be a good wife.

Check my signature for genuine online business / survey that pays and registration is absolutely free.

Then trust her if she says she's not cheating on you.
Give her that benefit of doubt.
I'm friends with my ex cos we decided we are better off as friends than more....so if thats her case, is there any need to be suspicious?
in my experience, not necessarily.

This OP get problem o.
U cant live with someone that will hide smth yet you cant handle the truth.

oluwakekz:
Hello. Please a kind advice is all I need .

Have being dating this lady since last year December 8months now. I met her at her sister's place that happens to be my mum's neighbour when she came for a visit. She just finish school and looking for a job. We were both looking for job for her even if it's far from her place (Ekiti) as I thought she should be productive to herself.

Thought I was lucky when she called weeks ago to inform me that a friend called her about one vacancy here in Lagos. I was so happy because I can't do long distance relationship (experience)

She came to my place this said Friday and stayed till Sunday. She left for that so called friend's place because we think it's not too safe to get to the interview venue late. She got the job and we thank God......

After two weeks of resumption, I saw this advice on nairaland that talk about 10 Questions To Ask Your Partner In Order To Build Trust "What do you find hard to talk about with me?" She said "nothing " I try talk to her to open up because I can't settle down with someone that will hide anything from me, then she said my ex got me this job. She has kept in contact with him. I ask her" we've being together for three days, you left my house for your ex house and passed the night there? You keep contact with him without telling me all this while? You guys have being seeing each other since you resumed (two weeks?) All she kept saying is am not cheating on you.....

I really love her and I'm confused right now. Please I need advice on what to do because am just tired right now.

Ur stark stupid.

asuustrike2009:

Even if he tells him,he will still be jealous

Who wouldn't be jealous??

But he wouldn't have reacted the way he is reacting now. And he wouldn't have allowed her sleep overnight, instead pay an hotel for her.
Tell your partner first and then whatever happens afterwards won't have serious impact he gets to know, if anything should happen.

It is a pityoung, you didn't asknow her, the personly who help her to secure the job. She didn't tell you, that it was excellent who helped her with the job, she knew you wouldn't have agreed for her to go and sleep over her ex.
You mentioned you love her, go on with your relationshipurchase, yafter all, you just started eight months ago. The day is still young , make sure you two communicate and trust yourselves.
Relationship, is about trust, transparency and honest are the keys to a successful relationship.
Wish you guys the very best.

PrecisionFx:



Ur stark stupid.

Please which Stark exactly, House of Stark in Game of Thrones or Anthony Edward Stark as Iron Man?

InvertedHammer:
/
I will only offer my advice after you marry her and the marriage crashes after 2 years like the other guy in the previous thread.


I love people that see traps and walk into them. They make life more interesting.

/

I love when people learn the hard way.

oluwakekz:
like what will that be...?..... Hope mode will take this to front page...please

Think mode have time for two little red birds

Na you cause this wahala. Why you no get job for am by yourself? Anyway , she may not b cheating on you like she said. Just be very sure before you conclude.

It is a pity that, you didn't ask, her, the person who helped her to secure the job. She didn't tell you, that it was her ex who helped her with the job, she knew you wouldn't have agreed with her to go and sleep over at her ex.
You mentioned you love her, go on with your relationshipurchase, yafter all, you just started eight months ago. The day is still young , make sure you two communicate and trust yourselves.
Relationship, is about trust, transparency and honesty are the keys to a successful relationship.
Wishing you guys the very best.

I've heard ish of too many kids on nairaland, I never saw it that way until tonight. the trash I read on the first page as regards this topic is an insult to thinking and rational people. OP, the greatest disservice you'll do to urself is to continue in a relationship with a lady of this character. Any lady dat can hide something as wrenching as dis from you will go all out to do more next time. She does not in any way respect you or value ur relationship. That she kept contact with her ex is no big deal, but a truthful gurl will not keep such rapport with her ex oblivious of u, as a matter of fact you are expected to know anything dat goes on between them. Worst still, she spends d night in the her ex's place in Lagos without telling you is way too much. How big is Lagos dat the interview destination can't be reached early from your location? Annoyingly funny. Furtherstill she kept it off ur knowing.

Dear, count your loss and move on. She doesn't deserve you unless you want to continue in more lies and deceit.

Bluezy13:

Who wouldn't be jealous??

But he wouldn't have reacted the way he is reacting now. And he wouldn't have allowed her sleep overnight, instead pay an hotel for her.
Tell your partner first and then whatever happens afterwards won't have serious impact he gets to know, if anything should happen.

There are some that wouldn't react it all boils down to how they think, reason and absorb. Many guys are just too insecure probably because of what they have sown or what their friends had experienced.

shanequeen:
Op is just insecure

wow! U don't mean it!

How will you feel if you discover your present lover or husband visits his ex and spend the night in her place without you knowing? U are indeed funny.

oluwakekz:
Really appreciate your kind advice..... For people that don't know me and pass judgment on me unna try........ I work and I get paid and I can afford hotel bills ,she would have say no if I ask her to stay at the hotel.that for sure I know...... For God sake 2weeks nitori olorun..... What if I did not ask...... Person way I wan propose for on her birthday..... Shai .... She sha just want to work. We've talk about learning hand work or working with a big pharmacy close to my place cos it's in line with what she study...... I no get plenty money oooo but abah I done dey build my house..... Plus dey give little out self .... Me just want loyalty nani. He no too much na? You slept in my place for three days and left my place for your ex place straight Abah..... Una fada

I've heard ish of too many kids on nairaland, I never saw it that way until tonight. the trash I read on the first page as regards this topic is an insult to thinking and rational people. OP, the greatest disservice you'll do to urself is to continue in a relationship with a lady of this character. Any lady dat can hide something as wrenching as dis from you will go all out to do more next time. She does not in any way respect you or value ur relationship. That she kept contact with her ex is no big deal, but a truthful gurl will not keep such rapport with her ex oblivious of u, as a matter of fact you are expected to know anything dat goes on between them. Worst still, she spends d night in the her ex's place in Lagos without telling you is way too much. How big is Lagos dat the interview destination can't be reached early from your location? Annoyingly funny. Furtherstill she kept it off ur knowing.

Dear, count your loss and move on. She doesn't deserve you unless you want to continue in more lies and deceit.

asuustrike2009:

There are some that wouldn't react it all boils down to how they think, reason and absorb. Many guys are just too insecure probably because of what they have sown or what their friends had experienced.

That exactly is my point.

cruchenutii:


Please which Stark exactly, House of Stark in Game of Thrones or Anthony Edward Stark as Iron Man?

The complete one.

Well it depends on ur girl since she's closer to you. keeping contact with ur ex isn't a crime but if she still fond of him then she can cheat on you. I can bleep my ex cuz am emotional tho. if she stays long or longer there then the possibility is high. Maintain contant contact with her and grow up. accept who she is and observe her long enough. Ask questions you can only handle and accept your faith that anything can happen. Such is life