[quote author=AngryNigerian22 post=69966441][color=darkblue] kikikik I won't lie to you .your gf is cheating on you with her ex
true talk

Auladimeji:
Which stupid mode.I don't why so guy feels like god.If she's jobless, won't you call her leech.
Now answer this question; If your ex girlfriend connects you to a job,will you tell her or decline the job.
You don't have any right to control her.
You are not her husband

Lol, e be like say na u help her get the job.

If we check well now, you are just a bloody boyfriend who has refused to propose. So the girl should not find work again because you are insecure. So what if her ex helped her with connection to get a job? At least it’s something you could not do. If you could afford to take care of her or help her with connection for a job she will not ask her ex.

Please and please, you are NOT her husband or father. Even if you are her husband or father, it will take a very secure husband or father to stop anyone from earning a living. You want her to starve and be useless? Leave that girl alone to work in peace. Soon, you will be jealous of her boss because they work too many hours together. I suggest you find a job pending the time that you are ready to propose and start a family.

@Op, I feel your pain. Nothing is as painful as being open and faithful to a lady and she betrays you. From what you have said here, you are an open minded dude and very accommodating. Now, as per advice, do not break up because of this but be watchful, the truth will reveal itself in no distant time. If something is going on between them it will all come out in the open very soon....trust that. Also you need to forgive her and bury your ego and continue to love her, Its possible nothing happened that night.....which is unlikely and its also possible something did happen or something is about to happen. Never you let your guard down in the name of love, I see that you are very new in this relationship game.......Lol

oluwakekz:
funny how most people get this all wrong..... How do we build trust if there's no true communication..... To me, I don't think its healthy visiting your ex without telling me and passing night there (its two weeks )

You got it all right, this is a help that come from ex of which already, they were on the same page, passing a night there is more convincing and accentuate what was behind the screen....what do I even know.

Free her let her go back to her ex
I can't allow such a girl in my life talkless of dreaming marriage with u

Hmmmm...my only problem is about spending the night at the guy's place. This is dangerous situation... I swearit.

And what will ur consent do. Na job o.

Insecurity.

CyberWolf:
The truth is that the ex nack am that night. No two ways about that... OP it’s left for you to continue with the relationship or end it. But bear in mind that the ex fvcked her and there is a big chance he will fvck her again.

No two ways about this, end of discussion (EOD)

Auladimeji:
Which stupid mode.I don't why so guy feels like god.If she's jobless, won't you call her leech.
Now answer this question; If your ex girlfriend connects you to a job,will you tell her or decline the job.
You don't have any right to control her.
You are not her husband

So u gon also pass the night at your else so that u guys will be reviewing the bible together all night yea? Rubbish.

oluwakekz:
Hello. Please a kind advice is all I need .

Have being dating this lady since last year December 8months now. I met her at her sister's place that happens to be my mum's neighbour when she came for a visit. She just finish school and looking for a job. We were both looking for job for her even if it's far from her place (Ekiti) as I thought she should be productive to herself.

Thought I was lucky when she called weeks ago to inform me that a friend called her about one vacancy here in Lagos. I was so happy because I can't do long distance relationship (experience)

She came to my place this said Friday and stayed till Sunday. She left for that so called friend's place because we think it's not too safe to get to the interview venue late. She got the job and we thank God......

After two weeks of resumption, I saw this advice on nairaland that talk about 10 Questions To Ask Your Partner In Order To Build Trust "What do you find hard to talk about with me?" She said "nothing " I try talk to her to open up because I can't settle down with someone that will hide anything from me, then she said my ex got me this job. She has kept in contact with him. I ask her" we've being together for three days, you left my house for your ex house and passed the night there? You keep contact with him without telling me all this while? You guys have being seeing each other since you resumed (two weeks?) All she kept saying is am not cheating on you.....

I really love her and I'm confused right now. Please I need advice on what to do because am just tired right now.

Op, u need to know if she is lying or not.

And what I am about to tell you now is the wisest thing you would hear from anyone on this thread.


Get her in same room with you.

Then tell her there is only one way u would be convinced she didn't cheat on u with him.

Tell her to call her ex on the fon in your presence and say to him;

"I enjoyed the sex we had the last time".

Meanwhile the fon is on speaker.

Your ex'es reaction would expose or vindicate her.


Wise as Solomon.

[quote author=oluwakekz post=69950807]Hello. Please a kind advice is all I need .

Have being dating this lady since last year December 8months now. I met her at her sister's place that happens to be my mum's neighbour when she came for a visit. She just finish school and looking for a job. We were both looking for job for her even if it's far from her place (Ekiti) as I thought she should be productive to herself.

Thought I was lucky when she called weeks ago to inform me that a friend called her about one vacancy here in Lagos. I was so happy because I can't do long distance relationship (experience)

She came to my place this said Friday and stayed till Sunday. She left for that so called friend's place because we think it's not too safe to get to the interview venue late. She got the job and we thank God......

After two weeks of resumption, I saw this advice on nairaland that talk about 10 Questions To Ask Your Partner In Order To Build Trust "What do you find hard to talk about with me?" She said "nothing " I try talk to her to open up because I can't settle down with someone that will hide anything from me, then she said my ex got me this job. She has kept in contact with him. I ask her" we've being together for three days, you left my house for your ex house and passed the night there? You keep contact with him without telling me all this while? You guys have being seeing each other since you resumed (two weeks?) All she kept saying is am not cheating on you.....

I really love her and I'm confused right now. Please I need advice on what to do because am just tired right now.


OP, I don't think you should pass judgement yet. No two relationships are the same, hence you wouldn't be able to get everybody to answer unanimously, that "No" she's not cheating or "Yes" she's cheating. Every woman wants a man they can look up to, not just to provide, but in regards to the feeling of security in all sense (Social and otherwise), especially when they are fresh out of school. this is when they start taking mental checks and comparing guys socially for a potential "husband".
I think you should take sometime and do a mental check on where you are right now and compare it with where you want to be and then start taking quick, decisive and progressive steps towards that. she is with you right now, however if you're not actively working on self improvement or aren't doing something that would deem you progressive, she'll leave you in three or four months. Women get easily distracted in Lagos, especially with that place being a social jungle, and the lots of hustling guys that are deemed "prospects" there.
How you handle this particular milestone in your relationship would determine if you guys grow together or fall apart. try to sit down with her outside of your place or hers, take her on a walk or sit somewhere quiet and ask her about things "be empathetic", not commanding, but rather listen to her and think before you reply. see and guage her responses, then follow your guts.

This is just my two cents, not the gospel

like someone said, we are mostly someone ex,
i will like you to forget about this issue, the way u handle it, will make her to open up or start hiding things from you,
she said those things to you, because she assume you can handle a hard truth.
me and my ex do talk, and even go out, but no sex, haba, we hv be with each other, if my girl go out with his ex, i feel nothing. yes i lov her, but here is trust we ar talking.

guy do not take this thing so personal, if you do, further hard truth will b hidden from you.

Offpoint:


kindly quote the op with this advice

Yeah. I just did that now.

kimbraa:
Is it that nobody read the part the guy said she passed the night at her ex place? How on earth do you lot still call him insecure, and what would've been going through your heads if you were in his shoes? I don't have a problem with her ex giving her a job/still being in contact with him.

No, people read that part, but some folks guilty conscience are dead.

Offpoint:

Too much sense will not kill you... you screws are up-to-date.

very funny.

But thanx for d compliment.

VampireeM:
So she shouldnt be friends with her ex because you are who? Thats how she would have missed this job connection. you are just an insecure dude. Fiancée kor, if you serious marry her, get her a better job and dish rules as you like. You better grow up and act like a man and stop seeking validation from a faceless forum

But why was she hiding it in the first place? you just dey talk any how.I don't have a problem about the ex getting the job for her but I am not comfortable with how the whole process was shroud with secrecy

I was once offered a job by my ex with a condition of us hanging out in hotel and passing the night there. I jejely declined. Today I'm working. If you can't give the job without bleeping me, will you die?.. I feel your pain bro... Sleeping in the guys house is not cool at all even distance to the location is not a reason. We are talking about Lagos where you can go anywhere you can as early as. What stopped her from waking up on time or even allow you lodge her closer to the place. You might be surprised the guy will end up winning her over.

Auladimeji:
Which stupid mode.I don't why so guy feels like god.If she's jobless, won't you call her leech.
Now answer this question; If your ex girlfriend connects you to a job,will you tell her or decline the job.
You don't have any right to control her.
You are not her husband

am suprised this iscoming from a guy. l love your thinking though.

VampireeM:
So she shouldnt be friends with her ex because you are who? Thats how she would have missed this job connection. you are just an insecure dude. Fiancée kor, if you serious marry her, get her a better job and dish rules as you like. You better grow up and act like a man and stop seeking validation from a faceless forum

Essence of this post is that, he is trying to build a foundation of good trust, you understand.... Yes he loves her, that's great and he isn't yet her husband, we know that.... is that enough to achieve their goals together?? I think he should check her affairs properly...... after all, who monitors their spouse more than persons like you.

SenorFax:
I still keep contact with my exes, even helped them whenever they need one, and I've never for once cheated on my babe.

Who knows
She might be saying the truth.
Or she might be lying.
Don't assume, have your facts in place, then conclude on what to do. Else you might end up punishing an innocent girl.

Listen to this man he speaks like an elder

oluwakekz:
you see am not saying seeing your ex is bad ,that's not my kind of lifestyle, and never will it be. She did not tell me anything at all about contacting her ex, I call her the day she left my place to show appreciation to the person that help her get the job,she said he's sleeping already! I ask her "oh its a guy? Are you safe? And are you sure you will be fine?" She said yes ,that all is well.... My place is very far to that exalt location so she brouth the idear of going there to pass the night before the interview..... Why hide it from me at first, what if I did not ask her after two weeks ..... The said guy stay close to where she's working ,just imagine ...

Forgive her or break up with her. The truth is she did something with him, unless the guy is gay now.

Bidobado:


She's hiding something.

they are still 4ucking themselves,if u can share her with the, ex but I tell u infidelity will tear the marriage apart......

oluwakekz:
Hello. Please a kind advice is all I need .

Have being dating this lady since last year December 8months now. I met her at her sister's place that happens to be my mum's neighbour when she came for a visit. She just finish school and looking for a job. We were both looking for job for her even if it's far from her place (Ekiti) as I thought she should be productive to herself.

Thought I was lucky when she called weeks ago to inform me that a friend called her about one vacancy here in Lagos. I was so happy because I can't do long distance relationship (experience)

She came to my place this said Friday and stayed till Sunday. She left for that so called friend's place because we think it's not too safe to get to the interview venue late. She got the job and we thank God......

After two weeks of resumption, I saw this advice on nairaland that talk about 10 Questions To Ask Your Partner In Order To Build Trust "What do you find hard to talk about with me?" She said "nothing " I try talk to her to open up because I can't settle down with someone that will hide anything from me, then she said my ex got me this job. She has kept in contact with him. I ask her" we've being together for three days, you left my house for your ex house and passed the night there? You keep contact with him without telling me all this while? You guys have being seeing each other since you resumed (two weeks?) All she kept saying is am not cheating on you.....

I really love her and I'm confused right now. Please I need advice on what to do because am just tired right now.

they are still 4ucking themselves,if u can share her with the, ex but I tell u infidelity will tear the marriage apart......

baby124:
If we check well now, you are just a bloody boyfriend who has refused to propose. So the girl should not find work again because you are insecure. So what if her ex helped her with connection to get a job? At least it’s something you could not do. If you could afford to take care of her or help her with connection for a job she will not ask her ex.

Please and please, you are NOT her husband or father. Even if you are her husband or father, it will take a very secure husband or father to stop anyone from earning a living. You want her to starve and be useless? Leave that girl alone to work in peace. Soon, you will be jealous of her boss because they work too many hours together. I suggest you find a job pending the time that you are ready to propose and start a family.

Did you say propose? when a guy is trying to build a trust? do you have idea where they started the relationship...... don't you think he might have known something about her past relationships and is trying to be sure she is better now for a foundation to build upon together.... SMH..... insecurity tricks I laughed in Nnamdi canoe language....... Men are not getting stuuuupidier anymore stupiiiid. Guy, take your time and don't fall into we, womens trap. We can deceitful.

oluwakekz:
Really appreciate your kind advice..... For people that don't know me and pass judgment on me unna try........ I work and I get paid and I can afford hotel bills ,she would have say no if I ask her to stay at the hotel.that for sure I know...... For God sake 2weeks nitori olorun..... What if I did not ask...... Person way I wan propose for on her birthday..... Shai .... She sha just want to work. We've talk about learning hand work or working with a big pharmacy close to my place cos it's in line with what she study...... I no get plenty money oooo but abah I done dey build my house..... Plus dey give little out self .... Me just want loyalty nani. He no too much na? You slept in my place for three days and left my place for your ex place straight Abah..... Una fada

Bro abeg leave this leech axx girl. I dated a girl that made me felt like i dont know what relationship is all about. They cant stop Fuxking their ez . She dey even hangout with her ex, but she stylishly deleted all females number iny phone which i didn't even realize till i wanted to call my female cuz and i noticed some numbers were missing.

AdujaZik:
Listen to this man he speaks like an elder

Dont mind his deceitful opinion jareeee. He isn't honest

Auladimeji:
Which stupid mode.I don't why so guy feels like god.If she's jobless, won't you call her leech.
Now answer this question; If your ex girlfriend connects you to a job,will you tell her or decline the job.
You don't have any right to control her.
You are not her husband

na so... It could be God's way of even making her get a job, the only mistake she made was not telling u, it shows she's hiding sth, buh if she insists she's not hiding nothing, pls... U guys shd continue n u'd watch carefully for her... Buh my guy no go gree o

Flashylily:
I was once offered a job by my ex with a condition of us hanging out in hotel and passing the night there. I jejely declined. Today I'm working. If you can't give the job without bleeping me, will you die?.. I feel your pain bro... Sleeping in the guys house is not cool at all even distance to the location is not a reason. We are talking about Lagos where you can go anywhere you can as early as. What stopped her from waking up on time or even allow you lodge her closer to the place. You might be surprised the guy will end up winning her over.

That's good for you..... but then you didn't have a serious relationship with the guy that was dating you..... now you are no more together. that's the difference now.

#from experience, that lady is cheating on you!

mark my words.

oluwakekz:
don't crack me up, Lol am vexing

no offense in connecting with Ur ex, but she fuckn passed the night.... Damn!

Guys let's take easy n stop supremacy we inherited from our father. Her ex getting job for her is not bad unless u find out suspiciou strange xter.
I submitted my ex CV to my boss.we broke up 8yrs ago n have not seen her since then but sincerely she need a job knowing how hard it is to get a job in naija one needs to spread his/her tentacles