Don’t Let the guy into your home when you’re alone. There are friends that have raped their friend’s wife and threatened to turn the tables on her. Apologize to him in your husbands presence. This his so called friend is insecure and toatall jealous of your your husband.

@ OP honestly there is an underlying problem, maybe your husband owes this friend some financial favours or the man is his gay partner .Those are the two things that can make a husband pick a friend over his wife for such a trivial issue.

I know my way is not pure, that is exactly why I avoid some kind of situations. If I were in your shoes I will apologize to him then I will go back to the board room and figure out the perfect plan towards kicking him out of my husband's life forever and ever. After all I am the woman in the house, you know how this things are done.

Apologize and push that nigga out of your husband's life, even if it takes you ten years to achieve it.

pussyAvenger:
If you like don't beg..

a younger slay Queen is warming to play your wing.

these bitches don't know what our g's mean to us

Lols.You're somhow right tho. There are some G you cant trade them for pussy. Believe me

This thread is so annoying. In this day and time, someone will send another man's wife on an errand in the name of friendship.

Families seem to be breeding morons instead of men who would protect and shield their wives.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

From what you wrote,you a such a saint,infact you are so perfect I never knew human could be so perfect. From what you wrote,you spoke to your husband's friend with respect,you didn't do anything to make him angry or less than he is,you acted so calm,cool and spoke like an angel.
From what you wrote you are not at fault at all,you are a very respectful wife. From what you wrote your husband's friend is the devil,immature, speaking anyhow and insultive.
From what you wrote your husband is a bad person supporting his friend instead of you,imagine.
But we know how it goes. Everyone presents the story to look like an angel while the other person is the devil.

BookEditor:


Madam, I understand your pains. Yes things like this sometimes happen but you must be very careful.

Now let me tell you this. The devil does not like anywhere there is peace, joy and love. He will be angry and make sure he goes there to scatter that peace, love and joy that you enjoy.

This is what happened. It's not your fault. You've done the best you can do in that circumstance. But the devil wants to use your husband's friend to scatter your home, so you must be very careful and vigilant.

First, your husband's friend was wrong for even sending you on an errand and even getting angry. After all, you're not his wife. Secondly, your husband was equally wrong for listening only to one side of the story (his friend) and jumping into conclusion without hearing from you. Your husband acted very rashly, irrationally and is inconsiderate. He's supposed to respect you enough to hear from you first before taking action.

But as I said before, the devil wants to sow a seed of discord in your family to break your home. Let me tell you this: Even if you you did what you've been accused of, it still does not warrant your husband threatening divorce. Divorce is not what you pronounce anyhow. Words are very powerful and can eventually come alive if spoken carelessly.

Now this is what you must do. You must realise this problem goes beyond your husband or his friend. Go down on your knees at midnight for 3 whole days and pray sincerely - cry to God over this matter, the Lord will hear you and He will change your husband to love you more and also change his friend not to pick faults with you over any flimsy excuse. This is the only sure solution in this matter.

Meanwhile, this does not stop you from apologizing to his friend. Humble yourself and apologize even if it's clear you're right in this matter and his friend is wrong. You know why you should apologize? Because you must stoop to conquer. Remember Oliver Goldsmith's "She Stoops To Conquer"? Just stoop for them and you will surely conquer. It's very clear that these two men have ego issues and need their ego to be "massaged", so just help them massage their ego by apologizing, while you go down on your knees to tackle them with prayer. You will surely overcome. I've counseled countless couples in similar situations and those who followed the steps saw good results.

Mind you, if you apologize only without praying about it, very soon another thing will happen in your home. They will still find another flimsy fault with you that you're disrespectful again. But your prayer is a must because it keeps such things away from coming up.

Try this sincerely with faith and it will surely work. You might get in touch if you need more counseling and/or advice. Wishing you all the best. God bless you.

I like your comment

Something doesn't really add well with the whole scenario!
Let's say I believe the story....
Why would the husband ask the friend to come to his house when he is not even around?

why would the friend have the guts to send someone's wife to buy a recharge card for him in her own house?

Secondly,why did he reject her offer to load from her bank account but preferred her to go out and buy for him?
This is beyond being disrespectful.... there is something that guy wants to do.....
I feel that guy has a sinister plan that must be done in the op's absence!

My opinion though based on op's story!

sometimes things like this usually have two sides of the story

your hubby no try at all, but for the sake of your home just do as he says, still try to talk to ur husband about it with reasonable points when the tension is down n u guys are happy n if he doesnt yield just let it b n continue praying so dat God will touch his heart because he can't continue to make u loose respect in the presence of his friends n moreover what if he was up to no good and he his trying to distract u so he could do some evil against your family, just handle the matter with care

Your husband is a baby

won't let any of my friends or family member disrespect my wife that way , belittling her is also disrespect to my person .. will the said friend accept that? if I send his own wife on such errand ... If na by this the marriage one take scatter make ee be cus after this the worst is yet to come ..

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

Either your husband or his friend have bad intention against you, be careful they are planing something bad. my advice is if you want to apologies let it be in front of your husband in your husband house, don't allow him hug you after apology in the name he have forgive you. third your husband should have be proud of you because who know what his so call friend wanted to plant in your house when he succeed in sending you out while your only 3 years daughter is left behind. If your husband cannot invite his friend in your present at your house for you to make the apology in his presence please don't apology as they want you submit your self willingly to their hidden evil agenda. I am married and nothing can make my friend to come to my house when his sure am not around and he don't have right to send my wife on errand, neither there's any condition that will make me push my wife to ask my friend for forgiveness when my friend mess up. be careful that's my advice

enemyofprogress:
You're married to a man that doesn't have a mind of his own

Your name says a lot about you. Enemy of progress. Idiot

Handsomecole:
I've learnt Something over the years not to take a stand until I hear from the other side and others involved.

That means you are part of the few that think logically and not emotionally

hmmmmm it is well. If ur husband friend truly respects ur husband, is he suppose to send you the wife to get him card? Seems ur husband can't even protect you or rather respects you if not he wouldn't have asked you to do all that. Well, for the sake of ur marriage apologise nah but tell him to ask his friends to respect you also.(na leg e give e friend thats why e get moral take come send you card as if u be e pikin then com dey frown join rubbish).

Surely... this must be a joke or your husband must be very stupid. Why is the friend home alone with you for such a long stretch of time especially when you are not feeling well? Why will your husband put the burden on you to attend to this nuisance when you are ill? Why did he want to send you on an errand to leave him alone in the house while you were away? Is he a thief? What gives this man the guts to send you on errands? Na wa o. You and your husband must be mad. Madam dem marry you or Na you marry yourself? Please try to gather some pride in the eyes of your husband. No friend or family should be able to disrespect you in this manner and your husband will threaten you with divorce. Except you married a gay.

You are supposed to be an egg in the eyes of your husband. If you see how my husband de vibrate the day his friend came and I served them both. He was even angry I did, he wanted to be the one to serve him and control his portion.lol. Then the friend ate and left his plate my handsome bobo told the friend to carry his plate to the kitchen and wash now now! I had to come in between and carry the plate for peace sake. If I am home alone, it means nobody is at home for any friend and family coming to see him.

My husband no de take me play o. As we de do fire for fire to ourselves reach. Last last only he has the right to even argue with me in his eyes. He has never physically even touched me as my mouth long reach. If he give me one slap I am sure Na 1yr coma I go enter. Not to talk of divorce. Madam, I am truly baffled by this ya horseband.

This story makes me want to appreciate what I have got. In fact let me go and spoil my husband rotten today even though we get beef at the moment. You don’t know what you have till someone narrates their disastrous story.lmaooo.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

hmmmmmm am sorry if what you narrated is actually the truth,then am sorry to say you don't have a husband, to start with,non of my friends will even dare to send my wife without my consent let alone Turing into an issue like this......SMH, some men are a disgrace sorry to say

Wen u give ur friend stupid leg the result is this case....

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

ur husband could be a gay or looking for away out to drop ur asss...... though I don't believe you offered to recharge for him with ur phone.


Women lies ah

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

I suspect you didn't provide all the details.

If you did, then something isn't right with Mr Chinnyrita27.

We live in a world where no one should be trusted, how can your husband's friend expect you to leave your own house for 10mins and go to buy card? Did he want to poison food or water? Why should he send you on errand? Are you a maid? Or you get too playful, familiar or act so cheap that you are treated like a maid by both your husband and his friend, because there is a saying that too much familiarity breeds insult. You want to know where you went wrong, but the truth is that you did no wrong. Something must be wrong somewhere if your husband is siding his friend even when he's aware that you stayed home cuz you were sick. Your husband does not love you, genuine love is rare in most marriages of today, anyway. There are just two options to take: the first is to go apologize like your hubby says, but bear in mind that if u apologise for doing no wrong, in future your husband will be expecting you to keep apologizing when you do no wrong. The second option is for you to refuse to apologise, and get ready for whatever consequences would come.

Thick Madam. Y Not Send Som1 To Get Th Card 4him. Yes, U Insulted Him Heavily. Don't U Hav Frnds? Amibo Woman. U Just Don't Like The Guy Comin Around. Mind U Madam, Ur Husband Can't Do Without Frnds.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

I am more concerned about the security undertone in your write-up. Was your daughter was at home? I guess your kitchen would have been accessible to him.
How well does your husband know this friend?
Are you sure the friend hadn't profiled you guys?
Your dishes could have been poisoned, illegal substances could have been planted, the plan of the entire house could have been taken note which could serve as a pointer to robbers, etc.
These are possibilities. One needs to be security conscious. Make peace and later point out these possibilities to your husband.

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

I am with u on this.

Just apologize to the friend. It won't take anything from u. If u play your cards right, your husband will end up apologizing last last. Don't be hard pls.

Op, Your horseband must be a closet f@ggot or a demented tout.

No man ( I say MAN and not a pathetic male) will hear that his friend or any other male unrelated to his wife paid a visit in his absence without him raising eyebrows and waiting for any explanation.

To even think he wanted to send you on an errand is ridiculous. Why did he not buy the credit on his way How can a visitor come in and send the house holder on an errand I just don't understand.

Infact, I strongly suspect your husband sent him there to spy on you.

I don't think you need to apologise but if you must, remind the 1diot that you are a married woman that he needs to respect and not pay unannounced visits when your husband is not around.

You were even nice to let him in and serve food. If I were you, the door will be where we exchange greetings till he turns around and leave.

This is why you don't date/marry touts.

Wiziman:
That's what you get when you leave your boyfriend and marry another guy. Compatibility is lacking; go and fix-up your life.

Not really i think stuff like this must have been happening wen they were dating. All those kind over familiar friend of tell ur babe me e quick cook for me the mumu ho run do am. Abeg baby help me go buy this thing the guy will be mute. If not he wouldn't have tried it. Am not married non of my friends can try such rubbish with my girl you set boundaries.

Tow things.
1- Either the family friend. Wanted to do something horrible while u were away on that errand, or
2- your husband is tired of the marriage and wants out so he actually sent his friend to do the dirty job.
That's if actually all you said is true.

KingOfAllIgbos:


Very wrong!

If she apologizes to the friend, he would ask for sex shortly. Give an inch, take a mile....

IF she must apologize it must be to her husband ONLY.

I am not even convinced she should apologize because i don't see how she should be errand maid to her husband's friend

PS - i also have a strong feeling the OP lied liberally in her story. She's hiding something

She must've insulted the guy. You know women, when they want to pass a point across

generationz:
I don't want to believe your husbands friend will just get angry without your insulting him

I also don't want to believe that your husband of four years will threaten divorce because of a misunderstanding with his friend.

However this is Nigeria , some wives are glorified housemaids and exalted babymamas

Op if all you narrated is 100% true then you had better start planning for any future troubles

I presume you depend totally on your hubby for everything.

Na so e dey be.

please if you do make sure you have something doing so that if anyfhing happens you'll have something to fall back on.


This disrespect is just too much to believe.

Sit down there some men can be stupidly funi e go be like sey the friend use jazz for am them value friend padd family.

Please tell ur husband to come to Nairaland for proper counselling...u will thank me later

If and only IF what you're saying is true...

apologizing to ur hubby or hubby friend means ur marriage is living on borrowed time. (may likely expire sooner rather than later)
It gonna get worse from there... More license for the stupid friend to dey do anyhow. How long will you continue ur appeasement policy??

Even as a single guy.. All things being equal... I not fit dey d same house with my guy's boo when he's not around. E dey somehow na.. On top of dat I come send her to an errand?
E come b his wife?
Abeg u say ur hubby no b one of dose dickson suckers?

One sided story.. Let us also hear from your husband's friend. You are not being entirely truthful. For you to have spur that extreme reaction from your husband's friend means that you must have been quite disrespectful. Go beg your husband, apologize and save your marriage. But will your pride let you?. As they say; 'Pride goes before a crash'.