Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

15ssDRIVE:


Hellos Sister,
Hope this helps. Real men keep certain things to themselves,he might have been instrumental in getting things going,he might even be one of the guys who advised,bros to marry you.

When some always say good things in your back about you. Now that person come complain,the man go see you as the Badoo here.

(1) beg friend and keep your house,beg your husband and give him lots of love. (2) don’t go back to that point trying to prove your innocence.

Life goes on.

Ejeka pe were,loko iyawo. Kale rona GBA.

Thanks �

JasonScoolari:
So sad you got married to a renowned GAY practitioner.

Never you apologise to that poor monkey, he's definitely a home breaker.

If your husband feels divorce is the best way to go about it, allow him to.... Don't be chickened into doing what you don't want to do for the sake of saving the "Marriage"

We don pass that stage when men go dey threaten their wives with divorce.

That's my wrong advise.

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

Barigaboy:
its nice your are seeking for advice but be careful to choose. Your husband is a nice man believe me. I don't no they way your seeing it right now. a complete and competent husband doesnt side his wife in all cases. he is protecting u in a way only the mature people will no. Be responsible by apologising to his friend. I want you to know today that men talk positive things about there wife and we all want flawless women when we no its not possible. your man knows that sending u card under the sun doesn't make sense but he would have appreciated it if u have gone because they would always talk about it in men gathering. You don't know how his friends wife treat him when he visits either good or bad he want u to be better. go and apologise it doesn't make u bad. respect your man and do what he wants it doesn't make u a slave. don't mind some people r use to abusing when people seek advice here. but its all good enjoy your day

JasonScoolari:
So sad you got married to a renowned GAY practitioner.

Never you apologise to that poor monkey, he's definitely a home breaker.

If your husband feels divorce is the best way to go about it, allow him to.... Don't be chickened into doing what you don't want to do for the sake of saving the "Marriage"

We don pass that stage when men go dey threaten their wives with divorce.
Please don't yield to this Advice is demonic and lacks the wisdom to maintain peace.Pls maintain peace in your home. on a good day try all u can to seat him down and let him see ur action in another perspective. And don't be too quick to reply your hubby when he is angry ,you will become envious of other marriages
That's my wrong advise.

tosyne2much:
I think it was wrong from his friend to send you an errand in the first place but the way you also approached the issue escalated this issue. That the silly friend even went as far as venting his anger on your husband is surprising.

On the other hand, judging from the edited version story that portrays you blameless, to me, you seem like an arrogant woman who walks around with ego. That you even said you can't apologize to his friend for the sake of your marriage tells a lot about you.

Everything is not just about ego.. Sometimes you have to compromise for the sake of peace

chally100:
You married a boy

hrykanu231:


Not in this regard, bro you can't even send my current gf unnecessary stuff like "buy me card" when you are not in sambisa or sick. Baba recharge from ur phone...
You can't even try this with my wife, who doubles as the mother of my children

Twoclans:
@ OP honestly there is an underlying problem, maybe your husband owes this friend some financial favours or the man is his gay partner .Those are the two things that can make a husband pick a friend over his wife for such a trivial issue.

I know my way is not pure, that is exactly why I avoid some kind of situations. If I were in your shoes I will apologize to him then I will go back to the board room and figure out the perfect plan towards kicking him out of my husband's life forever and ever. After all I am the woman in the house, you know how this things are done.

Apologize and push that nigga out of your husband's life, even if it takes you ten years to achieve it.

IamD18:
If this story is true.

Then,I'm sorry, you married a man who cannot respect and protect you before his friends.

A man who's not worthy to be called a good husband or father.

You did nothing wrong, but my advice is; If the happiness and unity of your home is so important to you, do as he has insisted by apologising to his friend.

After doing that, make sure you avoid and stay clear from that his friend. He's not happy with your family and can do anything possible to get rid of you by breaking your home. A loyal friend will be sensible enough to know that it's somehow disrespectful to send his friend's wife on such an errand.

Be careful!

Xaos:
I think you should apologize.

You have to do this not because you are fault but because you are a wise woman who priorities her families happiness over her own ego.

Make peace while it is in your power to make peace.

baby124:

Lmaooo. So you rely on friends and strangers to convince you on who to marry and give regular updates to reassure you that you made the right decision. Lmaooo

SIR0:
Why don't you say 'sorry' and save your home?

Greatzeus:

From what you wrote,you a such a saint,infact you are so perfect I never knew human could be so perfect. From what you wrote,you spoke to your husband's friend with respect,you didn't do anything to make him angry or less than he is,you acted so calm,cool and spoke like an angel.
From what you wrote you are not at fault at all,you are a very respectful wife. From what you wrote your husband's friend is the devil,immature, speaking anyhow and insultive.
From what you wrote your husband is a bad person supporting his friend instead of you,imagine.
But we know how it goes. Everyone presents the story to look like an angel while the other person is the devil.

15ssDRIVE:



There is something called,good friends. They sometimes help with good ideas.

baby124:

Good friends indeed. Try to make lifetime decisions like the choice of a spouse your own personal decision! Most friendships don’t last more than 20yrs and if something happens to you these friends will Bleep your wife and kids before helping them. That is when you will know the worth of friendship. Try to have a mind of your own.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

CosmoDroid:


Dont apologise to his friend, and do not apologize to him.

Tell him you are insulted by such statement and are ready to leave the marriage. It is the only thing that will make sense to him and honestly, the marriage is worthless if a man puts his friend above his wife.

He is a fool, sorry, you married a fool.

OKOATA:
Na you cause this yourself, next time your husbands friend comes around and ur hubby isn't home just tell the fool that you are about going out and you will see him turn back. What if he rapes you and turns the table on you, am sure your hubby will believe him. Think deep. Never apologize to ur hubby's friend, if ur hubby threatens you don't talk back at him, if he doesn't speak to you or wants to keep malice let him do it. Na him go tire. I am a man and one of the things a man hates most is when you argue with a woman and the woman doesn't talk back he will begin to wonder why you aren't speaking and he will be the one to later ask you whats wrong, then you can pour your heart to him. Simple logic.

IamD18:
If this story is true.

Then,I'm sorry, you married a man who cannot respect and protect you before his friends.

A man who's not worthy to be called a good husband or father.

You did nothing wrong, but my advice is; If the happiness and unity of your home is so important to you, do as he has insisted by apologising to his friend.

After doing that, make sure you avoid and stay clear from that his friend. He's not happy with your family and can do anything possible to get rid of you by breaking your home. A loyal friend will be sensible enough to know that it's somehow disrespectful to send his friend's wife on such an errand.

Be careful!