Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

JasonScoolari:
So sad you got married to a renowned GAY practitioner.

Never you apologise to that poor monkey, he's definitely a home breaker.

If your husband feels divorce is the best way to go about it, allow him to.... Don't be chickened into doing what you don't want to do for the sake of saving the "Marriage"

We don pass that stage when men go dey threaten their wives with divorce.

That's my wrong advise.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

IamD18:
If this story is true.

Then,I'm sorry, you married a man who cannot respect and protect you before his friends.

A man who's not worthy to be called a good husband or father.

You did nothing wrong, but my advice is; If the happiness and unity of your home is so important to you, do as he has insisted by apologising to his friend.

After doing that, make sure you avoid and stay clear from that his friend. He's not happy with your family and can do anything possible to get rid of you by breaking your home. A loyal friend will be sensible enough to know that it's somehow disrespectful to send his friend's wife on such an errand.

Be careful!

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

Xaos:
I think you should apologize.

You have to do this not because you are fault but because you are a wise woman who priorities her families happiness over her own ego.

Make peace while it is in your power to make peace.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

IamD18:
If this story is true.

Then,I'm sorry, you married a man who cannot respect and protect you before his friends.

A man who's not worthy to be called a good husband or father.

You did nothing wrong, but my advice is; If the happiness and unity of your home is so important to you, do as he has insisted by apologising to his friend.

After doing that, make sure you avoid and stay clear from that his friend. He's not happy with your family and can do anything possible to get rid of you by breaking your home. A loyal friend will be sensible enough to know that it's somehow disrespectful to send his friend's wife on such an errand.

Be careful!

lovelybugs:
My problem is not even the apologizing part....my problem is what stops this situation (or even worse) from repeating itself? And if he's vexing because of ordinary friend said you insulted him what will na happen if his mom says you slapped her
I don't even know what to say cause if you apologize it might keep on repeating itself and getting worse cause his friend will know that your husband will always believe him over you.
I don't like chucking mouth inside family matters cause they are so delicate. This isn't just about you and him, it's also about your kids who didn't ask to be born.
I feel for you.
Anyhow sha, plan for the worse. Hope you get work sha. If your family members are reasonable you can ask for advice from them. Especially your dad, they know how to advice in situations like this best.

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account...

Xaos:
I think you should apologize.

You have to do this not because you are fault but because you are a wise woman who priorities her families happiness over her own ego.

Make peace while it is in your power to make peace.

Guest007:
It's a bleeped up situation for real...


Buuuuuut, if you truly love your man, and he is a good man then I'd say take one for the team, go and apologise to his friend as an adult.

Say something like... 'Hey, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in my home*insert reasons for not going shop* I have the upmost respect for you, and I wanted to personally apologise FOR THE WAY I MADE YOU FEEL '

Basically, offer a diplomatic apology.

Let the dust settle down and wait for him to come out of his mood, and one day you could explain how you felt to him.

Here's a thought, would your husband feel comfortable for this man to stay in your house unsupervised

I'm sure you won't be comfortable with that, or are you

Its a tough situation, and you have to learn new skills in communication so let him win the battles while you always win the wars.