Saffi:
1. You asked me a question. You asked what do you as a woman CONTRIBUTE to a mans life? This doesn’t mean that without a woman he cannot have these things, however these attributes are things that a woman can additionally add to his life. As human beings we can all decide to function on our own, financially, emotionally. , spiritually etc. A man can make himself happy, he can provide for himself, cook for himself, so why do men decide to get married? We involve ourselves in relationships that can boost these traits and take us to the next level. Isnt this common sense? No man is an island and whether you can provide these things for yourself or not, we still need to interact with the opposite sex for companionship and the attributes associated with it. Duuuhhh

2. If that’s the case, and two heads are better than one, then why can’t bachelors hold the same level of success as married men? Can two male friends provide that emotionally support and motivation that a woman can? Men and women are not wired the same, the words
Of wisdom that a woman can provide is not the same that a man can provide. We can agree to disagree but take a look around you and the truth shall reveal itself to you. Most men do not reach the peak of their success until there is a woman by their side.

3. As for your last paragraph, I don’t know what exactly you want me to say. They’re different forms of working together to reach a common goal. We do not have to be contributing in an identical manner, but we shall get there. The fact that I choose to not financially contribute does not mean my ‘ hands are not on deck’.

I just want to ask you one question, what exactly are you expecting women to contribute in a relationship, disregarding the things that I have already mentioned? Nobody is disputing female independence here, it’s paramount. When a man comes together with a woman, each individual must play their role for the relationship to work out smoothly.

shaybebaby:


You should also ask the same of men.

You have mentioned a lot of personal attributes such as empathy, motivation etc., are you saying only women have a monopoly on this and until a man has a woman in his life, he cannot be motivated, is not happy, is lacking compassion? Does this even make sense to you?

A man not succeeding till he has a woman is false. It is a simple case of two heads being better than one, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the genders of the two heads. Fact is, two people working towards a common goal will probably achieve it quicker than one person.

Operative words here are;

1)working-not one working and the other waiting for the other to produce results. No! it's all hands on deck.

2) Common goal- You cannot both be working towards different agendas.

So what is the common goal you want to share with your man? If you haven't met him yet, what are you doing currently to prepare yourself and skill sets that you will need to deploy when you meet him and you are commencing a life together towards the future you both want?

pansophist:
I have to agree with saffi, and the men should try to see her point without trying to win" arguments. Women contribute to relationship in a different way than men (speaking in a traditional sense), such as foregoing all the advances she receives from society to be faithful to a man (women reach their peak sexual market value faster than men), accepting to be the carrier of a man's gene to the generational rounds (eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap), her body going through thorough modification during pregnancy, and to nurture the youngling until maturity. A woman that has made such sacrifices to her man should not be still expected to provide for herself, that's not sustainable. It is only when a woman has refuse to uphold her traditional duties, then a man should not be expected to cater for her.

Women naturally are born with wealth society values (beauty, fertility, youthfulness, chastity), and her looking for a man to provide for her is her natural mating strategy (evolutionary biology folks). She is basically playing to win, but again, like I said earlier, it is if she will be loyal and submissive to her man, then she should be entitled to be catered for, and blessed with the energy of a masculine man. Personally, I'll take care of my woman, and remove the burden of her going into the wild world to compete, I'm better suitable for that. It's a complimentary relationshi, and each partner engage in area they thrive easily.

lilwetdick:


what is this one saying, this is just gallant rubbish


there are many successful single men without women and do not need them in their lives.

men are more hardworking and goal oriented when they are single than when married

many men nowadays do not need companionship

Most men do not reach the peak of their success until there is a woman by their side( the most ridiculous statement i have ever read), nowadays many single men are building without any motivation or encouragement from women, infact the women are the one discouraging them, many men now are reaching the peak of their career without women by their side.

shaybebaby:


Everything she expects from her man.

truthsayer009:


Lmao, this is very wrong IMO. As a matter of Fact, women are big distractions to Men goals & careers, you do not need a Woman to prosper at all, everyone you who succeeded had made steps & took decisions years ago that took them to where they are.

Once you get married your life slows down by almost 50%, when I say live I'm referring to Career goals. Women require attention, time, love & care, all of that takes your time. If you focus your attention on your Career goals & ignore everything a Woman brings, you will go a long way.

Being single makes you focus on Career, You will do excellently well. Relationships are drawbacks in every way.

I do not need any woman to motivate me, fear of poverty has already done that.
No girl has ever motivated me to become what I am today. I am where I am because I made some choices & by Gods grace.

The reason why a Man needs a woman is for companionship, sex & child birth, you can also put love in the mix. Nothing more.

Saffi:
But men and women are not the same.
We are not biologically created to provide the same
Traits in a relationship. If that’s the case why not date your fellow woman?

Saffi:
We can agree to disagree but when a man marries the right woman, his success story elevates and that is the truth. If you marry the wrong woman, that is your fault and you’ll have yourself to blame for choosing the wrong woman who which will then lead to your downfall. Now keep in mind that I said Most not all. Most of the successful men in Nigeria today are married, and their wives met them with only a quarter of what they have today. We can agree to disagree, but that is your problem.

CruellaDeVil:
What is this one cosigning? Abeg we are womyn and we deserve to be spoiled rotten by men!!!

shaybebaby:

Yet both genders are human beings, bleed red, have hearts, brains, hands etc. The last two being what you need to provide, and the heart being what drives the feeling and need for companionship.

I have not asserted biological similarity but I'm not sure what biology has to do with providing for the people you care about.

Does contributing or attempting to contribute everything you can and not choose make you less of a woman?

Does paying your own bills make you less of a woman?

Does being strong for your man make you less of a woman?

Does your man not being able to provide materially for you even though he meets your emotional and physical needs make him less of a man?

A fat bank account is not the measure of a man, he is more than that.

Your level of dependency is not a measure of your womanhood.

If you cannot be responsible for yourself, how can you be responsible for another let alone kids who are by nature, helpless and need to depend on others for their survival?

Why are you choosing to be an infant in a relationship between to grownass people?

khiaa:



I agree with everything you wrote but unfortunately, they won't change until the men change. It's the men who gave them this sense of entitlement because the men will do and pay any price for what's between their legs, the women know this and will milk them for whatever they can get from them. As far as the jobs go, the men are supposed to build the community and make jobs available for all who needs them, that is the problem with our black community in America, the men don't build.

sinaj:
.

Saffi:
Like I said you do not need a woman to suceed. But picking the RIGHt woman can definitely take your success to the next level. Infact we don’t need anybody to do anything for us. We can all decide to function on our own and live as an island. The truth is that we are social beings that crave companionship and relationships. Look around you, most men at the top are married or they’re in a long term relationship. Especially after a specific age. The fact that you’ve never met a woman that has motivated you, is your fault. But trust me, if you meet the right girl she will elevate your success to a level you never imagined subconsciously and you won’t even realise it.

lilwetdick:


i tthink, you made a good point of writing down that we men need to marry good women but how do you know a good woman, when everyone is pretending and acting.

i think, most of the married successful men in nigeria are from the older generation and infact, if you read their history, it takes about 20-25 years for them to be very successful in their line of business maybe except people that steal government money.

the new generation is different, also this age with its new ways of doing business, have made it easier for men to create something from young and achieving their goals without women being involved in their lives, ever head of all the nerds stories, guys who were rejected by women and create massive wealth, even some of them dont need women in their lives, presently, some of them got married and divorced, they believe in their freedom,i believe when a man is free, ambitious and motivated, he can conquer the world.

Saffi:
Yes we are human beings but we are two different genders. We emotionally physically and mentally operate in extremely different ways therefore adding completely different values to the world. What is so hard to understand that? A man and woman can not operate in the same exact way in relationship it’s just impossible. Feminine and masculine energy react to situations that are contrasting, so I don’t understand why you’re trying to oppress this opinion that we are all human beings. We are All human beings but we are distinctively different.

Yes I can pay my own bills. Yes I can go out to work. Yes a man can cook for himself. A man can motivate himself. We can all do things for ourselves and we can decide
To be loners in our own world. But the truth remains that when looking for companionship we look for traits that can be beneficial to ourselves. We look for value. Women tend to look for providers and men tend to look for nurtures. Does this necessarily mean they can not function by themselves? Does this automatically mean they are infants looking for someone to take control of their lives? No.

Listen if you want to be ‘miss independent I can do everything on my own’, then that is your business love. Let’s see how far that will take you. But as for me, if a man must come into my life, he must show me that he can provide and that is the end of story. Not because I cannot provide it for myself, but because that is a companionship trait that I desire. And if he can’t live up t my standard, then he can bounce. It’s as simple as abc. This is the main reason why men have the audacity to call women leeches, all because they have a standard in which they expect their partner to reach, the partner cannot reach their standard and in return they lash out, out of frustration. It’s not by force.

Saffi:
Like I said you do not need a woman to suceed. But picking the RIGHt woman can definitely take your success to the next level. Infact we don’t need anybody to do anything for us. We can all decide to function on our own and live as an island. The truth is that we are social beings that crave companionship and relationships. Look around you, most men at the top are married or they’re in a long term relationship. Especially after a specific age. The fact that you’ve never met a woman that has motivated you, is your fault. But trust me, if you meet the right girl she will elevate your success to a level you never imagined subconsciously and you won’t even realise it.

Mariangeles:
You're talking from both sides of your mouth.

The bolded only applies to hardworking women not idle princesses .
How can you motive a man when you do nothing ??
What ideas can you bring to the table when you have no idea ??

Are you just going to "motivate" him with sex anytime he needs new ideas ?
He'll easily get bored of you .

IamD18:

In my opinion, a lady gold digger can motivate a man by staying lazy and idle at home watching telemundo.

Don't you think so?

Saffi:
Well we can disagree to agree. Most Women are emotional beings, if you study them enough you will know if they are good for you or not. Most men that married the wrong one saw signs in the beginning that they chose to ignore. Women are not very good at hiding emotions and that is our weakness. Like I said they’re always exceptions to the rule. They’re some men out there who can soar to the sky without any woman. But majorityyyyy of men need that feminine energy around them to subconsciously motivate them to do better. And once you get married and create a family, the motivation normally increases to provide for them. I know what I’m saying.

Mariangeles:
You're talking from both sides of your mouth.

The bolded only applies to hardworking women not idle princesses .
How can you motive a man when you do nothing ??
What ideas can you bring to the table when you have no idea ??

Are you just going to "motivate" him with sex anytime he needs new ideas ?
He'll easily get bored of you .

Saffi:
Really? So I need to be earning 1000s of Naira before I can motivate a man? Most of you are even intimated by hard working woman, once your woman is doing better than you, you begin to get jealous and discouraged. Motivation comes in different forms. I can motivate a man from just being in his presence and looking my best. I can motivate a man by reminding him of his good qualities. I can motivate by making him feel good. They’re so many ways to motivate a man, subconsciously that he won’t even realise. I don’t have to financially contribute to anything to motivate him, do you have any more questions ?

Saffi:
Really? So I need to be earning 1000s of Naira before I can motivate a man? Most of you are even intimated by hard working woman, once your woman is doing better than you, you begin to get jealous and discouraged. Motivation comes in different forms. I can motivate a man from just being in his presence and looking my best. I can motivate a man by reminding him of his good qualities. I can motivate by making him feel good. They’re so many ways to motivate a man, subconsciously that he won’t even realise. I don’t have to financially contribute to anything to motivate him, do you have any more questions ?

shaybebaby:

Yet both genders are human beings, bleed red, have hearts, brains, hands etc. The last two being what you need to provide, and the heart being what drives the feeling and need for companionship.

I have not asserted biological similarity but I'm not sure what biology has to do with providing for the people you care about.

Does contributing or attempting to contribute everything you can and not choose make you less of a woman?

Does paying your own bills make you less of a woman?

Does being strong for your man make you less of a woman?

Does your man not being able to provide materially for you even though he meets your emotional and physical needs make him less of a man?

A fat bank account is not the measure of a man, he is more than that.

Your level of dependency is not a measure of your womanhood.

If you cannot be responsible for yourself, how can you be responsible for another let alone kids who are by nature, helpless and need to depend on others for their survival?

Why are you choosing to be an infant in a relationship between to grownass people?

Mariangeles:
...and cooking indomie for you

shaybebaby:

It's great to have standards but please don't set standards that you haven't achieved for yourself. It makes you a hypocrite.

Where you used "I can" with regards to paying your own bills and going out to work, I actually pay my own bills and go out to work without a man contributing a cent.

The essentials in my life, I do and I do brilliantly. Then men who have been in my life spend on me, not because I expect them to but because they choose to and I accept graciously. What more, I spend in return, not because they ask me to but because that's what a relationship is about.. Give and take and all measures and to whatever extent you are capable of.

You have a point in stating that we look for traits that are beneficial to us. But how can you want to constitute a liability and sell that as being of benefit to men?

Ginalex:
A billion likes for you sis

Mariangeles:
First of all
Secondly
Last but not least, the world is fast moving, try to catch up girl. LEVEL UP!

WOMEN ARE RUNNING THINGS .
DON'T BE LEFT OUT!
BE LIKE OKONJO-IWEALA ! YOU CAN IF YOU WANT TO !

Mariangeles:
First of all
Secondly
Last but not least, the world is fast moving, try to catch up girl. LEVEL UP!

WOMEN ARE RUNNING THINGS .
DON'T BE LEFT OUT!
BE LIKE OKONJO-IWEALA ! YOU CAN IF YOU WANT TO !

IamD18:

And by reciting Psalm91 every night.

Mariangeles, please come and motivate me. I want to be like Dangote by next week.