Duggedised12:
igwegeorgiano let me get this clear, are you both living under the same roof like husband and wife and she still insists on white wedding? If that be the case then something is wrong somewhere . A typical religious fanatic will not even agree to live under the same roof with you until after wedding atleast for the ones i have seen.

I am only keeping my fingers crossed that more underlying problems are not attached to this just make sure you conduct virginity and fertility test before anything else. All i can say is goodluck.


But i dont know why Africans are like this tho, whoever brainswashed these people to think God is interested in white wedding? Some mumu people will do traditional, do registry and still go
to church for so called white wedding ,smh.

White wedding is the traditional marriage of white people ,when will Africans have sense?this is appalling.

So you call normal relations as being fanatical. That's why your kinds do multiple abortions and yet get dumped. Yeye

Looking at it critically, traditional marriage is not recognised internationally as legal and bidding. To this end therefore you are not yet married bro.

Ok Op, your story was my experience, we did trad November and church February just 3 months gap, and those three months for every night I begged humbly and roughly for sex, I got same answers in cool and calm voice, " baby, this means a whole lot to me... Please respect it, once it's done, you can 'gbakashia ebe n'ile', my humbled p***s will just go flaccid... She told me she's a virgin, she eventually was.
It took us two weeks after white wedding before I could penetrate because of her delicate and fragile nature...
The only thing is, be patient, trust me you've got a good wife who'd never compromise standards in anything, one you will leave and travel and your mind won't wander off thinking about so many things you know.
Again, if you're highly sexually exposed and experienced like yours faithfully, you will not enjoy sex at the initial stage, because she's learning to know what sex is all about, be patient, cheat if you can, get the that blast from a side chick, but let it not take your love off her, don't let her know, if she's willing to learn, suggest she reads articles on sex, watch healthy soft porn, explore her and know what turns her, she may not know, in time you'll be fine.
I enjoy sex today with my wife and have kicked off side chicks, my wife has a masters now in intimacy and sex.
Bottom line
Be patient.
Again
Be patient

Well. Respect her decision. There are some ladies that will be so honest with you. My friend's wife did the same thing. Just that she was honest enough to tell her man that she's not a virgin but she stands on No sex before marriage. And she maintained her decision. My friend respected that.
Its no big deal.
Just do premarital test. She told u before on her believe and u thought she was joking.
That lady is a good lady.
Just do the wedding and have her as long as u want

OP DONT MARRY YET.
YOU ARE STILL A BOY.
WAIT TILL YOU GROW UP... That's how you would cook up another nonsense and start cheating in her first trimester.
MTCHEEEEW

LadyHeaven:


So standing on a principle she told the OP of before hand makes her headstrong? What do African men really want? You stay true to your words you are stubborn, you give in easily you are a cheap farm tool, she should stand her ground, I personally don't believe in sex before marriage and if its a convenant she has with God then op is free to take a walk someone else who better understands her resolutional belief would come along.

Take a walk after paying the outrageous igbo bride price.... That's arrant balderdash.. I don't support premarital sex oh...but op for no pay the bride price if he no fit endure...abi you think abstinence after doing what's customary is easy ni...... Some of these spiri koko sisters no go even smell heaven las las...if you check their heart ehnnn....e smell pass 10years soakaway....Tueh!!!

GogobiriLalas:
Na dis kine girl I dey like, just very wise and logical. Well done I enjoyed ya advise

i would be careful with that....
maybe that worked back then,but today is different....temptations plenty....

if she dont rush you immediatly even after traditional marriage,then your own na oyo....

1 Timothy 5:2
Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep yourself pure.

igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

she made her rules and u obliged.. Let her Just pray it's d way u presumed..otherwise.. Whatever u do is justified.. Let her know this...she go comport..

She wan scam you bro

what you need to know is that,You should unstand the girl first.

Ruthe:
1 Timothy 5:2
Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep yourself pure.

seriously....??
does that even make sense to you....??

explain to me whats the meaning of pure....??
even your bible tells you all have sinned....

soo,how can you be pure....??

Bro you tried oooo...


I can't even wait for the traditional sef before we sample each other... Which kind black market be that

What if you are impotent, she doesn't care because she has more shocker for u..

Moreso, one bro fit dey corner dey shine her kongo.


Mormpha in relationship level..

Guy let me be honest with you that girl is seeing another man forget that born again it's deception I'm speaking from experience I have many friends that claim born again if you see what they do you will be shocked if she really loves you she will be the one begging for sex haba even after trads? Forget the white for now and don't force her again do as if you don't care again stop showing how much you love her girls take men like you for granted

oluwasegun007:
Bro you tried oooo...


I can't even wait for the traditional sef before we sample each other...

What if you are impotent, she doesn't care because she has more shocker for u..

kiiki....wait kee....

as soon as you stick your dickk in a woman,you are already married....!!

you dont need no certificate for that....
the guy is a nice mugu....

women of today always dump this guys after a while....

obidark:


kiiki....wait kee....

as soon as you stick your dickk in a woman,you are already married....!!

you dont need no certificate for that....
the guy is a nice mugu....

women of today always dump this guys after a while....

Broda wey mumu.. Sorry for that OP

midnighter:
But you're still going to marry her in the church so what actually is the problem?

Somebody told you something ahead of time, you say you did not take her serious. now the thing is coming to pass and you're complaining. Nawa

Church wedding is important to some people because of the spiritual implications, why did you go ahead with a born-again if you can't even respect a basic decision like this

And on top of it you put the wedding on hold so you can force her to compromise on her principles Wow

Shouldn't you be happy that you married somebody who actually stands on their word and does as they say? Is this not a good quality to look for in a spouse?

the op has issues oh, demanding for body even when he and her agreed on what and how things were going to be done, imagine his level of self imposed right over the woman's body like really?
mehn and to think some people are going Crazy with the shirty " she is a slut and all" is really annoying to me.

She is a very decisive and determined individual and to me that's a rare quality to find in a woman, imagine the OP dEmanding his right to have his way with her body like, make she give am the op where is the said love he speaks about .

oluwasegun007:



Broda wey mumu.. Sorry for that OP

sorry oo....

Ruthe:
1 Timothy 5:2
Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep yourself pure.

well said dear.

White Wedding VERSUS Traditional
Wedding
This is very long but it's worth it!

The fact that stares us to our faces is what we call "White Wedding" in our part of the world, which could be considered as "Traditional Wedding" by those from whom we copied the wedding from.

Though we all know from history how the term "white wedding" came about after Queen Victoria in 1840 decided to wear a white gown for her wedding to Prince Albert. But of course, today, when we talk about white wedding, it is not just about the white gown.

And so, if we must be brutally honest to ourselves, it is indeed a multiplication and something of inferiority for a black man to celebrate what he calls traditional wedding and still feels he is not married until he celebrates the traditional wedding of the Western man (white wedding), wearing three piece suit and his wife dressed in a long white gown under a hot sokoto-like sun.

The only fact that makes it not to appear like a multiplication is what I call the "Church-ness" or the "Christ-ness" imbedded into the white wedding. I guess this is why people now call it church wedding or Christian wedding.

But, even at that, there is a problem.

The Christian faith as brought by Christ is universal. It can be planted into any culture. The missionary don't need to carry the culture of his place alongside the faith to others. No culture is superior to the other.

If we are ready. . .

All we need do is to take out what constitutes the "Church-ness" and "Christ-ness" from the white wedding and put it into our own traditional wedding.

One does not need a suit and a gown, a bridal train or best men in suits, flowers girls or even rings, before his wedding could be called a Christian wedding.

One does not necessarily need to come to a church building and take vows before the altar before the wedding could be called church wedding.

What makes marriage is not the wedding suits or gown, it is not the rings, even the priest or pastor is there as a witness. This is why even a deacon can assist in a marriage. And in some extreme cases, where there is no priest or deacon, After due approval, the law of the church allows the diocesan bishop to delegate lay persons to assist in wedding. (Canon 1112.1).

What makes marriage according to the teachings of the church in Canon 1057 §1 is simply the CONSENT of the parties, legitimately manifested between persons quali-fied by law.

You see that part where the man and woman promise fidelity to each other and to love each other in good time and bad till death?. . . That is the kpim. That is the consent.

The function of the priest or pastor or Deacon is to accept their consent in the name of the church in the presence of at least two witnesses. Then he gives them the church's blessings.

Just in case you don't know, the Canon law gives provision that marriage may not necessarily be celebrated in the church, the local ordinary (Bishop) can grant permission for it to be celebrated elsewhere. (Can.1115, 1118.2).

It is important I add this because you might so get used to wedding being done in the contest of mass and forget that marriage is a sacrament that must not necessarily be celebrated in the context of mass.

This simply means that it is possible for a priest or pastor to join couples in holy matrimony right there in their traditional wedding after all the marriage preparation and classes have been done.

Using the Igbo traditional wedding as an example, the program can begin with prayers and scriptural reading, other traditional rites can be done. Then, after the bride had identified her husband through what is called wine carrying, the priest can at that point ask the man and woman to give their consent. He accepts it, gives them the church's blessings. Marriage is done. They continue with their dancing and eating. As simple as that.

But how many of us will accept this? I know of a diocese that tried this, most intending couples said they don't want it. They prefer the "white wedding". For them, marriage is not complete if they did not wear white gown and suit.

Look at how wedding is done today in Africa. It is now a game of show. After traditional, then white wedding. Series of expensive make ups, pictures, rented Mercedes Benz to impress, bridal shower, expensive decorations, name them. . . Everyone trying to outdo the next person on whose wedding is considered the "talk of town", at the expense of the true essence of marriage.

Ours is a case of mental slavery, and it is to us that the legendary Bob Marley sang, "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, non but ourselves can free our minds. . ."

Written by Fr Ugwu Kelvin MSP
(Maka ndi plagiarists)

My broda , come to ojuelegba you will see plenty olosho there... If your girlfriend deny you her pussy,. Approach any of the ojuelegba olosho to reduce your konji tension... It would not cost you much... And if you think fucking olosho is costlier , try raping your landlord daughter FOC and wait for the consequences

I still don't get where the idea of church wedding comes from in most Christians. Since when I've been reading my bible I didn't come across a verse where any couple wed in a temple(church).

breathcutter:
Ok Op, your story was my experience, we did trad November and church February just 3 months gap, and those three months for every night I begged humbly and roughly for sex, I got same answers in cool and calm voice, " baby, this means a whole lot to me... Please respect it, once it's done, you can 'gbakashia ebe n'ile', my humbled p***s will just go flaccid... She told me she's a virgin, she eventually was.
It took us two weeks after white wedding before I could penetrate because of her delicate and fragile nature...
The only thing is, be patient, trust me you've got a good wife who'd never compromise standards in anything, one you will leave and travel and your mind won't wander off thinking about so many things you know.
Again, if you're highly sexually exposed and experienced like yours faithfully, you will not enjoy sex at the initial stage, because she's learning to know what sex is all about, be patient, cheat if you can, get the that blast from a side chick, but let it not take your love off her, don't let her know, if she's willing to learn, suggest she reads articles on sex, watch healthy soft porn, explore her and know what turns her, she may not know, in time you'll be fine.
I enjoy sex today with my wife and have kicked off side chicks, my wife has a masters now in intimacy and sex.
Bottom line
Be patient.
Again
Be patient

matured advice bruh, really matured sir.

WriterX:


the op has issues oh, demanding for body even when he and her agreed on what and how things were going to be done, imagine his level of self imposed right over the woman's body like really?
mehn and to think some people are going Crazy with the shirty " she is a slut and all" is really annoying to me.

She is a very decisive and determined individual and to me that's a rare quality to find in a woman, imagine the OP dEmanding his right to have his way with her body like, make she give am the op where is the said love he speaks about .

no man has a right over a womans body....its their property....its either they give it wilfuly or you have no rights....

id2019:
What's stopping you from fixing date for the white wedding. She told u all this before the relationship started.

my brother ask am again.. don't know why men dey get leakiness of brain when it comes to sex. he is only preocupied with his conjugal right as a husband.

Hmm she informed you from scratch.. Hearing this from her isn't new, you went ahead with the traditional, now the white wedding left, you are now pausing it because of what you are already aware of, if she is hiding something from you, I may not know, just let the white wedding take place and clear all your doubts.. It's rather too early for you and her having issue about this. To before warn is to before harm...

kunleweb:



So you call normal relations as being fanatical. That's why your kinds do multiple abortions and yet get dumped. Yeye

kunleweb:



So you call normal relations as being fanatical. That's why your kinds do multiple abortions and yet get dumped. Yeye

calm down lollz, calm down.

the way i see it....he is in love with a woman that doesnt love him back....

or else,she would have nakked him even before traditional wedding....

obidark:


seriously....??
does that even make sense to you....??

explain to me whats the meaning of pure....??
even your bible tells you all have sinned....

soo,how can you be pure....??

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-

You have tried but you can do better by ensuring till the Church wedding is done. You are both husband and wife already but your woman fears is that if she succumbs or gets pregnant the church wont accept to join the wedding. You see every lady wants to experience that glorious day at the alter infront of families and friends so please understand.

As for the virginity, if that's too important for you, tell her you are ready to wait after a virginity test at the hospital by a female doctor.

If she refuses, you can also give her another condition that you will end the marriage on wedding night if you discovered she's not a virgin and have been unfaithful all the while.

Finally my brother marriage is not all about virginity or sex. Dont choose a woman because she's a virgin above those that are not virgins. I have seen good girls that are not virgins and some bad ones that are virgins. You must be sure this is the person you are destined to spend the rest of your lives with.

My own advice:
Since you are sure she's the one, fold your hands, zip up as usual, wait for that night because its better you based your marriage on trust rather than virginity etc. Dont worry, you will soon be tired of sex intact you will be running away very soon.

Some Comments here are the reason we can never have good system and rule of law. We always go against mutual agreement. She stated it at on set “no sex until after church weeding” you agreed and now come to claim right that you have done everything. Abeg go and fulfill all righteousness.

Sirvingeo:
op you got a good wife. She has the fear of God that is why she wants you to do the church wedding which depicts God's involvement. You better don't loose a good woman because of sex o. I promise you a lady that could go this far for God will never cheat on you after wedding .

I wish you happy marriage life and I pray I get a godly wife like her. Amen!!!

Gods involvement in marriage is the parents of the girl handing over the girl to the parents of the guy.
It has nothing to do with the the religious leaders, you can check your bible for that.