uninspired07:


Wow, so enlightening. Thanks a lot bro. Appreciate.

Read it over and over. It's the path to personal peace and liberty

eniolorunfe:


Except all your friends and family are men, then you should know that there are good women out there, who seek out character in men and place that on a higher pedestal than money.

It's a battle out there...fine...but, BALANCE and WISDOM is Key. Know where to draw the line...Do not approach love relationships as a battle between men and women.

Ok. Thanks.

healthserve:



Read it over and over. It's the path to personal peace and liberty

I will but putting it into practice will be hard oo. I will ruminate on it though.

uninspired07:


I will but putting it into practice will be hard oo. I will ruminate on it though.

Find the book, " Learning the act of not giving a fvck "

It didn’t take a minute for the thread to degenerate into the woman-bash fest it was probably intended to be from the beginning.

Shame on me for thinking it could possibly go another way.

OP good for you that you’re only happy with the posts that validate your bias. Good luck.

thorpido:
They are there if you really look for them and ALLOW yourself to be found of them.Start by exercising patience with women,you need it and will need it else you will not be able to live peaceably with a woman.

Let me tell you my story,when i met my wife,she was dating a guy who worked in an oil company....good job,nice car etc.
I didn't have a car then but I got a good sense of humour,good character,'i let her be without trying to control her','i'm a peaceful person'.
She didn't think twice.........she said,'the money will come later'.

[i][/i]Make I no lie o,I don dey give up for Nigerian girls then too o so they my mama no wan make I travel out say she no say I go marry oyinbo.

[b][/b]

Mine has even given up. She only comes to beg me on special occasions like Christmas. I know she will beg me again this new year.

It’s well sha. But the zeal to do the hard work is gone.

God will help sha.

uninspired07:


Swing for what? So it’s better to beg?

I am not averse to a relationship with mutual attraction ooo but the begging & calling & stalking is what I am against.

And when did I tell you to beg and stalk. Do that to me and your ass is getting blocked. I get irritated by such.

This doesn't change the fact that although, you want to act unbothered, you do care about what these girls think.

You said it yourself: "Once I sense a whiff of indifference or disinterest by a woman, I flee to protect my ego"

There are some people who truly are unbothered and there are some who want to ACT unbothered because they are SCARED of getting hurt. That Mr man is not a healthy dose of self esteem.

Even now, although YOU were the one that asked a question, you are only agreeing with those supporting you. Seems like you don't like being critized. That Mr man is also not a healthy dose of self esteem.

According to you, what makes you worthy of being loved is how much you have in your pocket


"I firmly believe that a man’s value is inextricably tied to his economic worth"

"This has discouraged me from initiating a chase as I think it won’t be worth it in the end as it will all end up with the money issue."

You seem to be the type, who attracts women with their money and convince themselves that they actually love them (instead of the money).

Do you boo-boo, but don't come here and create another thread with a title like 'Those hoes ain't loyal'

healthserve:



Find the book, " Learning the act of not giving a fvck "

I have read it on my scribd subscription. Good book. Maybe I should go through it again.

Thanks.

uninspired07:


I have read it on my scribd subscription. Good book. Maybe I should go through it again.

Thanks.

fieryy:


And when did I tell you to beg and stalk. Do that to me and your ass is getting blocked. I get irritated by such.

This doesn't change the fact that although, you want to act unbothered, you do care about what these girls think.

You said it yourself: "Once I sense a whiff of indifference or disinterest by a woman, I flee to protect my ego"

There are some people who truly are unbothered and there are some who want to ACT unbothered because they are SCARED of getting hurt. That Mr man is not a healthy dose of self esteem.

Even now, although YOU were the one that asked a question, you are only agreeing with those supporting you. Seems like you don't like being critized. That Mr man is not a healthy dose of low self esteem.

According to you, what makes you worthy of being loved is how much you have in your pocket


"I firmly believe that a man’s value is inextricably tied to his economic worth"

"This has discouraged me from initiating a chase as I think it won’t be worth it in the end as it will all end up with the money issue."

You seem to be the type, who attracts women with their money and convince themselves that they actually love them (instead of the money).

Do you boo-boo, but don't come here and create another thread with a title like 'Those hoes ain't loyal'

No no no, if I get a girl & marry after I get comfy or rich, I will accept it that she came for the money & will be in the marriage with that fact in mind. My eternal devotion will be to my children. I have never fooled myself about the love of women, in fact, I have accepted that women dont have love to give.

I am not deluded to think I can buy love with money ooo. I am too old to be that deluded.

cococandy:
It didn’t take a minute for the thread to degenerate into the woman-bash fest it was probably intended to be from the beginning.

Shame on me for thinking it could possibly go another way.

OP good for you that you’re only happy with the posts that validate your bias. Good luck.

No. You’re wrong about this. I have come to accept that no amount of online bashing will change women. What we are seeing is who they are.

I just did this thread to sample other opinions about my approach to things. And believe you me, I appreciate all the contributions of the women on this thread.

No amount of online bashing will change women so what’s the point?

cococandy:
It didn’t take a minute for the thread to degenerate into the woman-bash fest it was probably intended to be from the beginning.

Shame on me for thinking it could possibly go another way.

[b]OP good for you that you’re only happy with the posts that validate your bias. [/b]Good luck.

You noticed that too? Lol! He shouldn't have asked the question, if he only wants to agree with people who validate his points.

fieryy:


You noticed that too? Lol! He shouldn't have asked the question, if he only wants to agree with people who validate his points.

I have disproved your assertion in an earlier post.

uninspired07:
[b][/b]

Mine has even given up. She only comes to beg me on special occasions like Christmas. I know she will beg me again this new year.

It’s well sha. But the zeal to do the hard work is gone.

God will help sha.

Well,I'm telling you not to give up on Nigerian women There are still very inspiring ones out there.
It is key that you make yourself available too.There's no way you will get that good one by not being patient with her,allowing her to have her way(not all the times,of course) and exercising some chivalry.
There are of course women who somehow do not like that behaviour in men though.

healthserve:



Too bad, menopause deems fit as the only/adequate panacea to wake them up, but in the meantime, men need to watch-out for the bitterness they'll be exuding from their self-inflicted conditions

Your first post in response to my comment on this thread was that you agree with me which you don’t often do.

Do you know why you agreed with me? Because I told a man not to beg a woman for love.
If I had the same message for woman. Telling her to have healthy self esteem and not beg a man, I would be a bitter (oops the f word) for wanting to turn women into lonely old cargoes.

And that’s why we never agree.

Just one half pages gone and you’re already rolling in the mud with demeaning posts about women. I don’t want to quote all of them but your posts show how you actually feel about women.

Formerly I would have said let’s have a healthy debate. But I’ve grown past that stage where I indulge boys/men who have made up their minds to be disrespectful about women and expect courtesy and conversation about it.

Too bad

uninspired07:


No no no, if I get a girl & marry after I get comfy or rich, I will accept it that she came for the money & will be in the marriage with that fact in mind. My eternal devotion will be to my children. I have never fooled myself about the love of women, in fact, I have accepted that women dont have love to give.

I am not deluded to think I can buy love with money ooo. I am too old to be that deluded.

So why create this thread then? Why ask us, if you should be worried? It seems your mind is already made up

uninspired07:


OMG, you’ve completely got it mixed up but its alright.

I thought you were going to ignore me.

cococandy:


Your first post in response to my comment on this thread was that you agree with me which you don’t often do.

Do you know why you agreed with me? Because I told a man not to beg a woman for love.
If I had the same message for woman. Telling her to have healthy self esteem and not beg a man, I would be a bitter (oops the f word) for wanting to turn women into lonely old cargoes.

And that’s why we never agree.

Just one half pages gone and you’re already rolling in the mud with demeaning posts about women. I don’t want to quote all of them but your posts show how you actually feel about women.

Formerly I would have said let’s have a healthy debate. But I’ve grown past that stage where I indulge boys/men who have made up their minds to be disrespectful about women and expect courtesy and conversation about it.

Too bad

As usual psychological instability. So you understand my own comment/beliefs/values more than me. Exactly what this thread points to. That actions and deeds are not always interpreted by women as they are,, but will always interpret things, albeit from a faulty internal mirror/psyche/logic/perspective.


Nice try trying to sneak in gender-based differences.


If you must know, I'm from a fam of six ladies and have about 5 females around me under my mentorship. If it must please you to know, I've constantly being around, tutored, in career and in my business hire 70%ladies to men, cause of my belief in women empowerment, my default compass swings to choosing women and tutor them with the skills to do the job than hiring men with the already attained skills whenever I'm considering hiring. I've always been a pro-healthy men and women romantic relations.


So please permit me to have my views without subjecting me to some skewed illogical misinterpretations madam. And to see that you tried to sneak in some pasuasive emotions into your typos almost camoflaugued your intent. Well done madam

fieryy:


So why create this thread then? Why ask us, if you should be worried? It seems your mind is already made up

You see ehn, I created it because I wanted to sample multiple opinions on my approach to the issue. I accept that I have a preconceived notion about this already but I am open to contrary persuasive arguments.

Change women from what to what? What is it that you’re seeing women are and can’t be changed from?

And what response are you expecting from me? To tell you that you’re right or try to disprove you?

So that you and I can have a whole 20 pages of conversation about why I’m not worthy of your respect( all the while laughing with you). Or maybe you pay me a measly compliment about how I’m not like other girls because I’m currently agreeing with you.

I won’t be having a discourse with you henceforth since you’re bent on disrespect. Women with healthy self esteem do not think it’s worth engaging with anyone who is disrespectful.

Happy New Year

uninspired07:


No. You’re wrong about this. I have come to accept that no amount of online bashing will change women. What we are seeing is who they are.

I just did this thread to sample other opinions about my approach to things. And believe you me, I appreciate all the contributions of the women on this thread.

No amount of online bashing will change women so what’s the point?

Things will pan out well while men keep hustling. Whether fate gifts us “good” women is a maybe but we keep going.

uninspired07:


You see ehn, I created it because I wanted to sample multiple opinions on my approach to the issue. I accept that I have a preconceived notion about this already but I am open to contrary persuasive arguments.

You're sampling multiple opinions about an approach that is already final? That's you wasting our time. Bye.

@bold . You must be kidding me.
Like the premise of the thread isn’t gender based to begin with. And then instead of keeping it above board, y’all went the usual way.

Well your female influence didn’t seem to take. Might have to go back for more tutoring

Read your posts again

healthserve:



As usual psychological instability. So you understand my own comment/beliefs/values more than me. Exactly what this thread points to. That actions and deeds are not always interpreted by women as they are,, but will always interpret things, albeit from a faulty internal mirror/psyche/logic/perspective.


Nice try trying to seek in gender-based differences.


If you must know, I'm from a fam of six ladies and have about 5 females around me under my mentorship. If it must please you to know, I've constantly being around, tutored, in career and in my business hire 70%ladies to men, cause of my belief in women empowerment, my default compass swings to choosing women and tutor them with the skills to do the job than hiring men with the already attained skills whenever I'm considering hiring. I've always been a pro-healthy men and women romantic relations.


So please permit me to have my views without subjecting me to some skewed illogical misinterpretations madam

cococandy:
Change women from what to what? What is it that you’re seeing women are and can’t be changed from?

And what response are you expecting from me? To tell you that you’re right or try to disprove you?

So that you and I can have a whole 20 pages of conversation about why I’m not worthy of your respect( all the while laughing with you). Or maybe you pay me a measly compliment about how I’m not like other girls because I’m currently agreeing with you.

I won’t be having a discourse with you henceforth since you’re bent on disrespect. Women with healthy self esteem do not think it’s worth engaging with anyone who is disrespectful.

Happy New Year

Show me where I have disrespected women in this thread? So seeking to protect myself as a man is disrespect for women?

I am beyond shocked.

Happy New Year in advance & thanks for contributing to the thread.

cococandy:
It didn’t take a minute for the thread to degenerate into the woman-bash fest it was probably intended to be from the beginning.

Shame on me for thinking it could possibly go another way.

OP good for you that you’re only happy with the posts that validate your bias. Good luck.

He is living in denial. He doesn't want to accept the fact that he has absolutely nothing to offer. His first strategy was to beg women for attention but it didn't work out. The fact that he had to beg in the first place says a lot. He has given up on it and decided to blame others for not loving his miserable self. Now all the people telling him how to improve himself (not financially) are his enemies because they shine a light on his shortcomings. It's easier to bash (Nigerian) women than to accept that one is not very attractive and not the brightest candle and do the work to improve. You don't have to be a psychologist to understand these coping mechanisms.

I can’t believe that women on this thread will derail this thread and falsely allege that it’s a woman-bashing thread. There’s no evidence of such happening on this thread. Anyway, I thank all the women that have contributed to this thread. You have added further to gender related jurisprudence on NL.

healthserve:



How generous of you. Broken isn't the word but damaged. These conditions that brings them into such conditions includes bad upbringing/family values brought about by family's upbringing/society/media or complete negligence. Having been in many relationships where ladies despised good treatment, it took me a while to conduct critical examination to understand what was happening.


One of such triggers that morphs these ladies to be the Narcissistic personality they transformed to is upbringing/negative expectations placed on relations that they would marry abusive partners so they tend to build and develop very toxic personalities even before relationships forms. So when these relationships develop they have toxic-expectancy and from an overly developed defense system they expect fight backs in their relationships and when it doesn't occurs, as a result of meeting good mannered men they become troubled and unsettled because they've conditioned themselves, albeit even unaware before the relationship came to being.


I consider these ladies ( not bashing females o, its just the reality) to become bored with good treatment, case study Sampson and Delilah. Hence while these women will/can become attracted to good men because of their laurels or some other good attributes the sustainability of such relationships involves a change in psyche (that is if they become aware to their toxic mannerisms) or for such women to be the ones who choose their partners.

My advice to men is not to choose women as women are fast becoming alpha/masculine thesedays, to go for the woman that chooses them, and not the one that chooses the woman. Because the longer term objective in relationships relies on the emotional stability, choice and resolve of the woman, as all these factors impacts massively on her emotional ( and other) investments in the companionship. Hence many woman will be doomed by their own fate to abusive partners



I went through hell to realize its a woman that owns a relationship not the man.



Cc Ubunja Harddon Martinez39 JonnySpute

All these game theories only work for people with low self-esteem on both divides.

Which is why I wish more ladies read all these game threads so they understand some things.

I believe a man should woo a woman, cultivate deep friendship with her before introducing sex.

Know her, know her value system, know what makes her tick, observe her etc.

Mindfulness:


He is living in denial. He doesn't want to accept the fact that he has absolutely nothing to offer. His first strategy was to beg women for attention but it didn't work out. The fact that he had to beg in the first place says a lot. He has given up on it and decided to blame others for not loving his miserable self. Now all the people telling him how to improve himself (not financially) are his enemies because they shine a light on his shortcomings. It's easier to bash (Nigerian) women than to accept that one is not very attractive and not the brightest candle and do the work to improve. You don't have to be a psychologist to understand these coping mechanisms.

Here we go again. I accept all the insults you’ve heaped on me & thank you for contributing to the thread.

I will improve myself as an all round individual—not to attract women—but to affect all who come in contact with me going forward.

Thanks once more.

uninspired07:
I can’t believe that women on this thread will derail this thread and falsely allege that it’s a woman-bashing thread. There’s no evidence of such happening on this thread. Anyway, I thank all the women that have contributed to this thread. You have added further to gender related jurisprudence on NL.

The generalizations are insulting to start with.

bukatyne:


All these game theories only work for people with low self-esteem on both divides.

Which is why I wish more ladies read all these game threads so they understand some things.

I believe a man should woo a woman, cultivate deep friendship with her before introducing sex.

Know her, know her value system, know what makes her tick, observe her etc.

Health got banned


This should be the norm. But then modern sophistication has made the modern woman delusional/alpha/masculine


As Ubunja and Harddon, I join the voice of reasoning to say, men go for ladies that choose you, not the ones you love. These simplistic norms have metamorphosed over the years madam.

bukatyne:


All these game theories only work for people with low self-esteem on both divides.

Which is why I wish more ladies read all these game threads so they understand some things.

I believe a man should woo a woman, cultivate deep friendship with her before introducing sex.

Know her, know her value system, know what makes her tick, observe her etc.

Yes, a man should do all you’ve said but not without a defence for the barrage of emotional hazards that he will face in the process.But it’s not all men that have the patience for that.

That’s the gravamen of my argument ever since.