₦airaland Forum

Dojupyo:
I can't read all that Op, na just your monicker catch my attention

Put your profile pic up lemme know how to address u

zeb04:
mtschew.

I know say e go pain you.
Divorce advocate

PresVA:
^^^^^^ Here's the sweetest part of the story


What a story full of lessons

Thanks dearie.
For a moment I thought u had quoted the whole thing

Copied! A must read for every Babe

“Biyi hasn’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”

…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third party into our relationship but with a bank account screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with someone else. I grip the phone. Dayo is unusually quiet. “You still there?” I ask. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I just didn’t know things were this bad. And all this while, I thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I argue silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue. “You might as well be a widow.”

The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she continues, oblivious to the damage her words have caused.

“Me? Why?” She is blaming me for this? Seriously?

“Why do you keep paying the bills?”

“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protest, upset.

“For real? He drives your car too?”

“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”

“How late are you talking?

“Nine, ten…ish.”

Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but your husband spending your money on another woman.”


Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba, Dayo. Biyi would never—”

“Look, I know men,” she slices in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?”

Ride. Dignity. Moneybag. Ouch.

“But he’s a good guy,” I manage. Can my husband be using me? It had never crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is actually having an affair.


“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and Biyi isn’t home. I force myself to hear what Dayo is saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionair e-oil- company-golden- husband. Gosh I envy her life, her perfect marriage.


“My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says, as if in affirmation to my undeclared words. “But only because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten thousand pounds a month as pocket money?”


She really gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual salary in my crappy job plus bonuses. Life is unfair. Honestly. “I am Biyi’s wife,” I say. “I cannot just desert him.” Or can I? At this rate…

“In that case,” there is an edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.”


“I—”


“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing out your money.”


“But—”


“Starve him,” she adds. “No sex. Make life hell. You are not an ATM machine.”


Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I say to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.”


I hang up with a sigh. My husband is leaning against the door frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired, drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuate my compassion. “Where have you been?”


Biyi gives me a side smile. “No hug?”

I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.”


“I had a job interview in Birmingham,” he says. “I called you tell you I was stuck in traffic but I kept getting your voicemail. What’s wrong?”

I cock my head. Is that a whiff of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with another woman. With my car. Spending my money. My head spins. “Biyi,” I glare at him, “Where are you coming from?”


He steps back, surprised. “I went to Birmingham—”


“Did you get it?” I screech. “The job?”


Biyi shakes his head. “I didn’t—”


This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car keys.”


He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you, Toni? Did I offend you?”


“Pass my keys!”


He thrusts the car keys to into my palm. I push past him, grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag. That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you, sweetheart?”


“Get out of my way.”


“Where are you going with that bag?”


“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.


“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.


“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”


He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face, smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the house, jump into my car. My rage doubles as the feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a woman in my car. I feel like an idiot.

* * *


I pull up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to knock, but a scream freezes the motion.


“Kill me!” I hear Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot. Womaniser of the century!”

Whoa. Momentarily, I am unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds, muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!”

“Am I your slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about her? You think…”


Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I want call the police, do something…anyth ing. But I cannot move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listen as my friend is pummelled by her husband. The beating stops.


I should dash to my car, but something holds me back.

“I am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have cooked for you. I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the phone…its her fault.”


“Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen and make me fresh stew. And do something about that leech you call a friend.”


That is enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive home.

* * *



A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks.

“Leave me alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Denis beats her up? And she never mentioned?


“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.”


I oblige, grudgingly. “What?”

He reaches under the car seat and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home straight from the interview. I stopped over at the Perfume shop to get you this.”

He hands the basket over. Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for your support during the hardest times of my life! I love you.”


“That’s why I was late,” he explains as he pulls me into a warm embrace. “You have been so good to me, Toni. I couldn’t have asked for a better wife.” I can’t reply. My throat is lumpy.


“When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you can tell me what’s bothering you?”
* * *


I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when you stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense gurl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart Bleep.”


I type a quick response back: “Ciao! and i deleted her number right away.







Now, this is one story every woman should read. The grass is never greener on the other side, best believe that. No matter how good a friend’s marriage is, NEVER EVER compare your marriage with thiers. You don't know what pain they hide underneath.

This is absolute bulIshit!
There is evidence of deep seated IMMORALITY on display here!

And I can bet my last month salary that that woman eating the penuis will be a log of wood in bed when the real action starts!

fem29:
Absolutely yes . He Went for every scan . WE were pregnant

If u say so, ok. Good for you.
Most men don't go for antenatal clinic with thier wives. I should know. They come maybe once, if they're good twice. Then they leave the rest of the biz for the women. A lot of women use antenatal to collect money from their men cos the men don't know what goes on there. They simply say they need money for this or that and the men will give to them only for them to use it and buy moi-moi

You'd be surprised how many men blank out when they see a pregnancy strip esp when it's from someone they didn't expect. It sends the brain cells into shock

SAMBARRY:
mr man what is the name of the nollywood movie you just narrated of 3families and when will the part 2come out

Anyway

Why handsome sexy looking boy like you a whole omo lagos/Michigan boy like you go dey write superstories

Well I no chop am

Btw have you cleaned your gas cooker?

Because superstory dey sweet.
No chop am na. Your loss.
Today na Saturday. Owambe tins

And Yes! I have cleaned my gas cooker

InformedLola:
Abi o.

@ 5minsmadness, we know who you are referring to o. We have read her story here on Nairaland.

Sweet Jayzus!
I have said it repeatedly that she is not the one oh. Her story and the one I put up are not similar at all.
Having said that I don't think she's telling us the while story. But it has nothing to do with the one I wrote!

fem29:
OK fair enough. If I were him I would have taken her to the hospital for pregnancy test. When I went to register for antenatal at about 6 weeks, the hospital insisted on doing a test even though I had done a home test.

And did your husband go with you? Be honest now.

histemple:
I hardly comment on this kind of post but I think you need this advice, and urgently too. You need to learn how to look beyond the crying of a woman to enable you find out WHY she is crying--so that emotional blackmail won't becloud your sense of reasoning and good judgement. Some women take advantage of "good" people like you.

Em... Ok Thanks.
Am not easily deceived though.

SAMBARRY:
Obun re o

Ewa waye obun

He must be 5minsmadness best friend

Anyway pack all the dustbin and unwashed everything to his room,he'll be forced to clean it up and if that doesn't work invite his girlfriend to see how dirty her boyfriend is.trust me shame will nearly kill him and thereafter force him to change

Heeeeeeey
This krayfish selling owambe woman won't leave me be! I go kidnap your daughter o

Happy new month

romme2u:
hey bro long time no see.

i always love ur 5 min madness

I gats time on my hands to spare this period
How u doing bro?

doskie:
pale yellow eyes, low weight, weak appearance, generally a sickler looks like a sickler and you can at least have cause to ask questions merely looking at the person

Guy not all Sicklers look like this o

NattyBaba:
what about men lying? Talk about them too. Everybody lies - man or woman

True.. There are men who deceive women into marriage as well. Men who lie about their impotence and fertility etc. But I focused on the women cos of the case that inspired this thread and the way they will lie and play victim when the man finds out and starts to sleep around or misbehave. They will be the first to start insulting the man and telling all and sundry that the man is acting up and being a beast meanwhile they re the ones at fault and they know it. We bashed that man behind his back and sometimes in his front for months, thinking he was immature and insensitive, and he never once let out his wife's secret until he finally had no choice! And it was pathetic seeing the woman admit her guilt and plead after the man had finally made up his mind to leave her. She knew she would be more vulnerable at the end, she should have been Kinder towards the man and his societal image before slandering him. Hence the topic.

Bollinger:
You too much jooo. I mean, everyone knows men don't lie to women at all. In fact, men don't lie period. Men are the most trust worthy species on the planet. It has been documented that when it comes to lies in a relationship, the male gender are saints. I thought i was the only that read the result of the findings. OP, your thought process is truly fantastic. When i grow up, i wanna be like you.

You are very right!
Men tell no lies, in fact, they are incapable of lying in a relationship, haven't you noticed? Men are the most decent sort of species you can hope for especially when it comes to romance!

However this particular thread is directed towards women and women matters. You can open up a counter thread extolling the virtues of men if you want!

[quote author=Funnyguy83 post=44299236][/quote]No its not the same case bro. The stories are different. In this one the woman had her womb removed long before the marriage. The woman in that thread said she has her womb intact.

I have seen that other thread and commented on it. I agree she isn't saying everything. Nevertheless she should move on.

AreaFada2:
The man is confused, desperate and more. He feels betrayed, perhaps time wasted. As far as he's concerned now, until a woman is pregnant, he cannot trust her womb.

If in 9ja, life expectancy of sicklers is still low. Those reaching 35 are considered lucky.
Even in the West with better health care, dealing with the agony of sickle cell complications in kids is still tough.

If you check my old posts, I have mentioned a not too dissimilar experience with a lady. Though not married, still wasted some years dating her. Though not full-blown hysterectomy but womb was damaged enough via teenage abortion to make conception highly unlikely.
Even when the truth came to light, with obvious medical evidence, they (the girl, her mum & sisters) kept denying.

Well, it was time to bail out.

It is the height of deception. When kids don't come in a marriage, it's hard enough. When you then find out that the woman & her family knew the reason all along, it's must be devastating.

@bolded, and they will deny with thier last breath. Why do they do that?? What happens if you two had gotten married then 10 yrs , 25yrs and no kids People be going from pillar to post and crying to God and whoever meanwhile they know the cause of their problem. Then when the man finds out and realises that his beloved even knew about it but was hiding it from him, its very devastating. How do they live with themselves?

AreaFada2:
Very correct 5mins.

Health ignorance is alarming. Many are not more enlightened than our grandmothers in the village despite google & having an array of degrees.

Regarding suspicion, how often do people doubt their darling beautiful young bride?
It is exactly that trust they capitalise on to deceive.

Your first instinct is to believe that both of you are working towards same goal.

Very true my brother.
Do you know it took multiple scans for him to finally see the truth. When the first scan was done the woman went to native with him and they told him the scan couldn't see anything cos the baby was hiding! I was like, hiding where

DeeTus:
Drama! Blame the society for this kind of game. It's quite unfortunate!

I agree! I wouldn't have said this before but I have come to see that a lot of people in society take marriage as a do-or-die affair! Imagine someone telling me she's going ahead with a marriage even though from all indications the marriage won't last a year. Her words: "eh, lemme get married first then will handle whatever comes afterwards " I was like wow! Is it really that bad? Tomorrow her husband will be bashing her up and down and she'll be crying blue murder meanwhile she entered the thing will eyes fully open!

doskie:
I doubt that AA story because I thinkan SS person can be known from visual inspection. if you said she was AS I would have believed.

Well it happened wether u believe it or not. Someone else here has already related his true experience. Read through the thread.

Out of curiosity though, what are the things u can see in an ss person from 'visual inspection'?

cionon:
Tnk u. I really love my husband. Will weight the options and see weather to leave or not. But people always blame me for opening up to my husband. Telling him what his former neigbhours told me. I didn't know he will even lie with it.

Honestly I don't think opening up was the problem oh madam. I think u should look at the bigger picture. Like others have said here it's possible he jus doesn't love you. I'm sorry. The 'opening up' is just an excuse. If you hadn't opened up to him he would have found another excuse to get rid of you.

fem29:
So true. How come they never went to the hospital to do a pregnancy test. I would have thought if someone you don't want to marry says she is pregnant for you, you would do all tests possible to make sure she is pregnant before you marry her. This story get as e be

You're speaking in retrospect. A lot of people are very gullible and not as suspicious as you are trying to make out here. Especially if the girl comes with a forged pregnancy test. Most of them won't double check. This guy didnt anyway.


But I've seen worse. Not many people are as educated health wise as you think. You will not believe I have seen a 'graduate' whose wife said she was pregnant for 2yrs and d guy believed!

InformedLola:
Op, @5minsmadness, are you sure about Story No.1? I'm able to deduce the woman being referred to there, and she has posts on Nairaland in which she referred to having had miscarriages as well as fibroids; that wont be possible if her womb had been removed nah.

I didn't get any of the 'stories' from nairaland. So you deduced wrong.

marcjane:
5minsmadess,@ story one,i taught the lady said,hubby has 30% motility and that she is ok.
I just don't get anymore.

What r u talking about?
I have never discussed story 1 before.

bukatyne:
Why I 'sympathize' with 1 & 2, I do understand how sleeping around is supposed to be a solution to their problems.

1. A man discovers his wife lied about her womb. It is either
* He forgives her and they adopt and/or expect miracles
* He marries a second wife
* He divorces her and remarries.

Ditto the SS palava.

People are deceived into marriages daily and I do not know why the deceivers think they will not be caught.

That no 3 should literally keep quite. He got served.

That is why I always want to know how they started.

Maybe the sleeping around is the process of looking for a second wife na.

No 3 is just as pathetic. Maybe the man wanted goodbye sex and the girl used the opportunity to trap him. It happens. Happens a lot.

marshalcarter:
Women deceivin men since esau and jacob


That issue of blood group..I sumhw blame the man but lemme leave matter for op

Why do you blame the man?

Cionon,
So I did a little bit more reading into your plight and I've been trying to understand your kind of person. This is the advice I have for you.

Be the best wife you can be, so much so that he will be the one to lose if he leaves you. No need to quarrel with him cos from what I'm seeing the foundation you laid out will ensure that you lose if you go in that direction. You need to build up your self esteem, you are more valuable than you think you are.

Your husband might actually be the one with the problem a la fertility. Find a way to get a specialist to invite him for another test. He probably won't go if the request comes from you. Find a doctor that will give either a verbal or written note for him to come and run tests.

Meantime arrange your house. Stop the begging. Go about your buisness meekly and without fuss. Make yourself a better wife and companion by being better than his mistress in bed, by gisting/sharing jokes, having more conversations (not quarrels) with him. Become interested in his day and ask him how it went.

PRAY. Become more prayerful and more Christlike. And make sure he sees this. Read your bible and show by your actions that you are a Christian, not just in words. Let him realise from your actions that you are not diabolical.


I don't usually give the above advice but I honestly think this will work for you.

P. S be more positive in your outlook on life no matter the outcome of this drama. Make yourself a better person. Live better. Achieve more. Improve on your education. Do things to improve your value.

Wishing you all the best.

cionon:
....
He lost interest in d marriage even before we got married

But... But then if you knew that why...


Sighs.

Mindfulness:
They reap what they sow. It is very simple but how does it concern you 5minsmadness?

I guess I sympathise easily.
I have a little secret. I can't stand to see women cry. It hits me somewhere. The suffering this lady is going thru now, the ridicule, disgrace etc. All cos she wouldn't tell the truth. And it's made worse cos for a long time she made it look like the husband was the monster. Like he changed suddenly and no one knew why. All the shit was on him until he finally blurted out the true story. So it's like she knew what the problem was and she was bad mouthing him all over the neighborhood. Which makes her actions much worse.

Its just sad.