hi everyone cc,dayokanu,jenny,mutter all pls i really need your quick help on this one. I think i have been deceiving myself all this while.

my husband has dropped the bombshell, he said i should choose between marrying him or not working or leaving the marriage. every part of me wants to leave this minute. Am i making a mistake? is pursuing my career worth it ? but this guy is too verbally abusive.

his complaint? i have drained my self in looking for a job and putting my job search above him. what can i do after such bitter experience.

he has asked for a reply and i told him i will think about it. he got mad saying i have to think about it again meaning i cant stay with him thru thick and thin. help me oh before i go crazy. imagine summoning the meeting between him, my self and him mum. i felt like my world has crumbled.

i know its not my parents business but i can swear on my life that my dad will rather die than to hear that he has told me not to work. God help me i should not have gone to school oh maybe i wont feel like a looser right now. which kain wahala i put myself

This your husband sef . . .

     

flak:

hi everyone cc,dayokanu,jenny,mutter all pls i really need your quick help on this one. I think i have been deceiving myself all this while.

my husband has dropped the bombshell, he said i should choose between marrying him or not working or leaving the marriage. every part of me wants to leave this minute. Am i making a mistake? is pursuing my career worth it ? but this guy is too verbally abusive.

his complaint? i have drained my self in looking for a job and putting my job search above him. what can i do after such bitter experience.

he has asked for a reply and i told him i will think about it. he got mad saying i have to think about it again meaning i cant stay with him thru thick and thin. help me oh before i go crazy. imagine summoning the meeting between him, my self and him mum. i felt like my world has crumbled.

i know its not my parents business but i can swear on my life that my dad will rather die than to hear that he has told me not to work. God help me i should not have gone to school oh maybe i wont feel like a looser right now. which kain wahala i put myself

Na wao.

At this point the only thing I can say is this:Use ur head and follow ur heart.

Have u utilized all avenues,options?Dis one hard ooo.

wow I knew the problem wasn't solved at allllllll, he only gave you the other answer because he got a job. I was honestly waiting for/expecting you to come back here(wasn't wishing you evil but I knew that there was going to be alot of problems) with more issues after you came on here to tell us how well your hubby has changed.

I am at work and will give a proper reply when I reach house  and relax first. The only thing I can say is think of what you really want, weigh both options''be smart and work without your emotions''

To be honest I have to say that if I had heard all this talk about how marriage is equal to suffering I would have been single now. I am glad I did not hear all this before I got married. I don't have the strength to go on and on but I will just talk as quickly as I can about a friend of mine. She is a little older. Her husband used to hit her every now and then. She was even on anti depressants for a while. Recently we talked and she told me that he hit her again and as usual her teenage kids saw it. I was crying but not for her since it is her choice to put up with it. It was for the kids. This man is in his early 50s now and she in her mid forties. In my mind, your forties is when you should be on cruise control. You would have worked hard on your marriage, raising your kids, your career and all that and now you can just tweak things as they come. Can you imagine being in your 40s and wondering everyday the next time you will chop slap. What a life. The worst part is what this does to the kids. She could have broken that cycle but did not. You can tell that her daughter is very bitter and one of her sons is so timid but he can swing into rages at the drop of a hat.

Let me tell you something. This poster is very bitter. She might not show it but she is. The other thing is that she might be angry about what this man has done to her but it is what she believes he did to her child that that makes her bitter. Please marriage is not a war zone neither is it supposed to be a test to see how much of a woman you are. You should not endure your marriage. You should enjoy it. This woman has tried. The man is not teachable. He does not want to learn. At this stage in his life he probably will never change.

What is left for this man to do to her before people say she has done enough. She should be encouraged to go back to work but she is being encouraged to focus on making this man calm down. A man that it seems has some serious psychological issues. This man has accused her of having a spirit husband and also sees spiritualists. Haba. Does any of you know what it is like to have a child that has medical issues? Rather than focus on that with her partner all that energy is going to worrying about how to keep this man happy. A man that has chosen not to be happy. Madam abeg get a job because if he has hit you when you were pregnant and does not seem to have changed he will do it again. Good husbands do not call their wives names. Good husbands do not hit their pregnant wives. Notice that I did not say perfect husbands. I said good husbands because there is no such thing as a perfect husband or wife. You have to value yourself if you want someone else to value you. Get a job. I know it will be hard because you have a child that has some medical issues. Work hard and give her/him the best in life. The best thing you can give your children is a happy and healthy mother.

this is the best advice yet. i'm glad i didn't read these kinds of things before i got married, either.

.

At the OP, I feel your pain and I hope whatever decision you choose works out great for you and your kids (and your husband, if he is still in the picture).

Just a few thoughts as I read through some of the postings on this thread:
1. A fetus at 4mths CANNOT cannot get the kidney ruptured from an external beating (like in your case). I've confirmed it for you. Most organs start developing around the 4th week and the case of your kid having an organ not fully developed is not unheard of. It happens; there are kids who never had both kidneys developed. Why did this happen to the 3rd one and not happen to the last two? I dunno but what happened is not a causal effect from your husband's beating, which I think is cowardice and totally unacceptable.

2. I applaud you courage and patience. God knows I cannot stand a lady that wants to spend all day watching Oprah, The View and the Shopping Channel in the name of raising kids and abandoning her profession. Even if it's 2-3 times a week, no wahala; she just has to face other challenges so as to develop and get a much more fulfilling life (just like me). In your case, you sound like a go-getter and every sane man's dream. Nothing trips me more than picking up my s3xy wife, dressed corporately for lunch or dinner. I have a fetish for VERY intelligent ladies and that's one major reason (amongst others) I married my wife. Unfortunately, your husband has serious self-esteem issues and I think if dealt with properly may put your home back on track. I do not think it's necessarily a control issue tho; it's mostly women who tend to want to control the affairs of the home that see their husbands as control freaks. The man has a natural tendency to safeguard his home. He's obviously taking the wrong approach and it loooks as if the communication in your home have broken down for eons. No matter the coping strategy (or whatever you call it) you adopt, this needs to be fixed. Good communication also enhances trust which seems to be lacking as well. Some of the examples you gave just shows a frustrated man venting. On a side note, you seem not to be forth coming on what attracted you to him in the first place. That aside, you need to think deeply on what was the turning point in your relationship when you started to grow apart.

3. I laugh when you say "fake prophets". Call them fake at your own peril but they are as real as it gets. They are already having an effect in your home and na you dey suffer am. Do not ignore them. I'm not saying you should succomb to their witch hunts, but you need to wean your husband off them for your family to survive otherwise, you'd wake up one day dancing like okere juju. The Nigerian environment can make any sane human being become a slave to these prophets; before you know, na either cele of MFM you go dey enter. I would not necessarily blame your husband here, because his actions show that he acknowledges there's a problem and has obviously gone out to seek help just as you have come here to seek help. This is what happens when there is a total breakdown of communication in your home; instead of resolving internally and moving on, you are seeking external help. How do you jump start it? Have both of you discussed like adults recently about this witch labelling, spiritual husband, etc? I mean like adults, not yelling at each other? A semi-private place outside your home (comfort zone), maybe over a romantic dinner may be a place to kickstart such discussion; hopefully, you folks are decent enough not to yell at each other. If he's serious about taking the spiritual husband thing and not having s3xual relations with you, perhaps this is where you'd want to make your opinion known and play the "walk-out" card. I do not know why you played that card when you were pregnant but if you play it frequently, the potency is lost. Another way is to talk to his mother and let her know that you'd be involving your parents if he is not ready to talk and settle these issues. If he is ready to talk, then you folks need to start talking; hard not to yell when angered but you have to set the ground rules of no yelling and keep talking. Like CC suggested, a neutral and sensible 3rd party that commands respect from both of you may be instrumental in bridging the gap. Be careful of 3rd parties though; I'm not really a big fan as I have a firm belief that two sane adults with a common goal (in this case building a peaceful and loving family) can resolve issues between themselves with little external influence.

4. Lastly, I understand it's good to hear different views but take them with a large dose of salt. Some people who post here, are not even married and will never be married, unfortunately. Having a storybook idea of marriage is different from being married. It's just like a teenager telling a 50yr old what life is all about. It does not mean the teanager's view of life is invalid but I'm sure the 50year old has a much more complete outloook. Mutter's postings give a different view from the conventional lady of today who cannot stand been twisted and is ready to walk at any time, even at the slightest provocation. I do not see it as an attack on the OP; rather, it's different and completely valid. From some of these postings, I tend to believe that alot of ladies see it as an attack on their person if you do not follow their "conventional wisdom". A wholistic view has better benefits. Your parents being together for 30years show that they've have stood the test of time together. It does not mean that they never had similar issues crop up. If some mothers share what they had to endure in their days (when there was no internet to vent), you'd realise that what you are experiencing is child's play. Have men changed? Probably not; our DNA composition is still same; Has society evolved? Definitely, and it will only continue to evolve. So comments like, "men of these days" make me chuckle. How different are men of these days from our fathers and grandfathers? From what I know, our fathers and grand fathers solved infidelity by marrying multiple wives. You are just wife no 4 and if you are the junior, you go work tire. How many wives had careers compared to today? How many men even entered kitchen to help their wives?Do you know how many of our mothers were beaten or cried their eyes out on a regular basis? I can easily make the argument that men of today are better just by comparing societal evolution. So even though you see your parents as role models, do not make the mistake of comparing your marriage with theirs. Two different ball games here. Just my two cents.

excellent response. good to hear from a man with sense.

so, OP-what have you decided? you've been given great advice from both sides of the table. it's now up to you.

hi everyone cc,dayokanu,jenny,mutter all pls i really need your quick help on this one. I think i have been deceiving myself all this while.

my husband has dropped the bombshell, he said i should choose between marrying him or not working or leaving the marriage. every part of me wants to leave this minute. Am i making a mistake? is pursuing my career worth it ? but this guy is too verbally abusive.

his complaint? i have drained my self in looking for a job and putting my job search above him. what can i do after such bitter experience.

he has asked for a reply and i told him i will think about it. he got mad saying i have to think about it again meaning i cant stay with him thru thick and thin. help me oh before i go crazy. imagine summoning the meeting between him, my self and him mum. i felt like my world has crumbled.

i know its not my parents business but i can swear on my life that my dad will rather die than to hear that he has told me not to work. God help me i should not have gone to school oh maybe i wont feel like a looser right now. which kain wahala i put myself

this is just madness. i also knew the situation wasn't settled just like that. he was just happy because he finally got work.
was there something that triggered this particular bombshell? how have things been in your household since he started that new job?
my advice would be to make your decision with the most rational and practical mindset. your husband has unfairly given you an ultimatum. make a list of pros and cons for each side, then go from there. just know that whatever you decide needs to be something you can live with. you won't like it, but you need to be able to live with your decision.

also, if you haven't involved some elders in this issue, now is the time.

by the way, @mutter-thank you for sharing your story. you really went through a lot and i'm glad everything has now worked out for you.

one mistake a lot of women make is producing kids  every year or two in a troubled/shaky marriage. I always say this ;women should try and avoid bringing kids into a troubled marriage if you can. Get preggers when things are quite settled. Save this kids from trauma and its after effect. Never think that the more kids you have the quicker  your man will change .A man that does not wanna change will not change.

I cant really say much here but like I told you earlier.

I think your husband is just a egocentric loud mouth. If I were in your shoes I would cut the Bullshit and tell him to fork off.

The worst thing is to live your life to please someone. What tells you that he wont come later and tell you to cut your arm or move out of his house?

You have to put an end to it

flak:

hi everyone cc,dayokanu,jenny,mutter all pls i really need your quick help on this one. I think i have been deceiving myself all this while.

my husband has dropped the bombshell, he said i should choose between marrying him or not working or leaving the marriage. every part of me wants to leave this minute. Am i making a mistake? is pursuing my career worth it ? but this guy is too verbally abusive.

his complaint? i have drained my self in looking for a job and putting my job search above him. what can i do after such bitter experience.

he has asked for a reply and i told him i will think about it. he got mad saying i have to think about it again meaning i cant stay with him thru thick and thin. help me oh before i go crazy. imagine summoning the meeting between him, my self and him mum. i felt like my world has crumbled.

i know its not my parents business but i can swear on my life that my dad will rather die than to hear that he has told me not to work. God help me i should not have gone to school oh maybe i wont feel like a looser right now. which kain wahala i put myself

O Ga O. . . .

This is very serious.

' Poster ; Your husband sounds extremely insecure. I think you have to take a stand now. Whatever you cannot take now, don't tell yourself that you will endure it. Because you are married to him does not mean that he has the right to tell you whether you can work or not. If you want to work then that is your choice. Some men don't want their wives to work but if he didnt want this from you then he should have said so a long time ago.

So we are back to the very first question on page one of this thread; Why is your husband so against you having a job?

Even if they are not solid enough reasons at least you know what has prompted this behaviour and it will give you a chance to make an informed descision on what to do next regards the relationship.

i wish i had answers right now. from his utterances i think he feels my commitment in finding a job means i am trying to upturn his position as the sole decision maker in the house. he thinks he has a right to tell me not to work with no reasonable reason and i should accept with a smile on my face and not begrugde him about it.

i have thot hard and deep and with all honesty he is not one of the guys on planet earth i would give up her career for cos with every one naira given comes an equal dose of abuses of how ungrateful i am the minute i say anything about working.

@ OP
It's best to contact your parents,they may have words of advice for you.He has involved his mother so a third party is already involved.Been following this thread and all have made valid points.
It's all up to you,no one can make a decision for you.Go to your parents,they may surprise you after all 30 years is not a joke,the must have seen it all,and contrary to what you think,your dad may not tell you to jump out.

Well start saving whatever pittance he gives you. Someone like that would have no inhibitions in throwing you out when he feels like it . Save his money, let him have his way for now especially if your kids are still little. Hope he's not violent, though? As you said you could dump your career for a good man (many women would sell their kidneys for a man who's worth it), but obviously he insults at a whim. I would say let him carry on being verbally abusive, you would deal with him later when the kids are grown and you have saved enough. You might decide to forgive and stick with him afterwards or dish out a perfect revenge. I'll choose the latter. For now learn the art of pretence. Hope you can survive it.

flak:

i wish i had answers right now. from his utterances i think he feels my commitment in finding a job means i am trying to upturn his position as the sole decision maker in the house. he thinks he has a right to tell me not to work with no reasonable reason and i should accept with a smile on my face and not begrugde him about it.

i have thot hard and deep and with all honesty he is not one of the guys on planet earth i would give up her career for cos with every one naira given comes an equal dose of abuses of how ungrateful i am the minute i say anything about working.

Na wa oh . . . . .

Well, I doubt if you really have a choice in this matter. He has given you and ultimatum . . . You just have to give in and let the job go. Obviously your husband is suffering from a huge case of inferiority complex and you just have to learn how to deal with it.

People break their promises all the time, it's not enough to give up on your marriage and your family.

Sad, but that's what Nigerians marriages are all about . . . . slavery at it's best.

Give it a year or two and then try again. For now, let him win!

^^

How do you mean by saying she should let him win? If she bulges and after a few month the man sends her packing based on the reccomendation of his spiritualists. What becomes of the OP?

.

chaircover:

Marriage shouldnt be this difficult and each day spent arguing and fighting is a wasted day of ones life that can never be brought back.

Most important part of the post. Life is too short.!

Ujujoan:

Na wa oh . . . . .

Well, I doubt if you really have a choice in this matter. He has given you and ultimatum . . . You just have to give in and let the job go. Obviously your husband is suffering from a huge case of inferiority complex and you just have to learn how to deal with it.

People break their promises all the time, it's not enough to give up on your marriage and your family.

Sad, but that's what Nigerians marriages are all about . . . . slavery at it's best.

Give it a year or two and then try again. For now, let him win!

I completely disagree with you oh. If she lets this fly now, she may not be able to get back the right to work.

What if he decides to kick her out based on the advice or these pastors? What if these so-called pastors tell him again thats she is the one hindering his progress?

Please go back to work. No one should ever be able to take that away from you. And tell your PARENTS!!! If he can drag his mum into things, so can you.

Is he still beating you?

he has no good reason to stop you working. IMO the guy is a nasty loser your life is more important.No point sitting somewhere and being sad.

appreciate all for ur suggestions.

i have told him i want a trial separation for 6 months. i really need to get myself and my thinking together before i make any further decision.

flak:

appreciate all for your suggestions.

i have told him i want a trial separation for 6 months. i really need to get myself and my thinking together before i make any further decision.

Is 6 months not a long time? Im thinking that 4 weeks is more than enough

Ok,when you told him,what was his reaction?

Who keeps the children for those 6 months?

@ify,

yea quite long. i actually wanted to get an insight to his real and inner thots. thru his reaction i am seriously beginning to think that he has a serious insecurity problem. behind all those ego and control nature, lies a deep fear. or how can i explain his reaction. after letting him know my decision and the modalities about our kids, where i intend to stay. he says its ok and leaves the house and sends this text message: 'my thought was that i could trust u will never leave me, i never knew ur love was so conditional, you have made me feel so empty,thanks for everything'

does my wanting to work or showing distaste for his abusive nature show conditional love? i dont know what to make of it. does he think trying to instill fear in me thru his spiritual bigots is going to keep me with him?

whichever way, i have made up my mind to stay away for now for at least 2 weeks, i really need to relieve stress of my brain. he can think on what he really wants

.

@Flak,I just hope it all works out fine.I won't for now comment on your husbands reaction/sms,so many emotions and sentiments involved.

There are chances he might come back and try to talk you out of your plans,If he agrees to meet u half-way(let u work,even if its for short hrs) then maybe the seperation might be discarded.

Does he still abuse u verbally?(this matters alot)

I wish u all the best!

flak:

@ify,

yea quite long. i actually wanted to get an insight to his real and inner thots. thru his reaction i am seriously beginning to think that he has a serious insecurity problem. behind all those ego and control nature, lies a deep fear. or how can i explain his reaction. after letting him know my decision and the modalities about our kids, where i intend to stay. he says its ok and leaves the house and sends this text message: 'my thought was that i could trust u will never leave me, i never knew your love was so conditional, you have made me feel so empty,thanks for everything'

does my wanting to  work or showing distaste for his abusive nature show conditional love? i dont know what to make of it. does he think trying to instill fear in me thru his spiritual bigots is going to keep me with him?

whichever way, i have made up my mind to stay away for now for at least 2 weeks, i really need to relieve stress of my brain. he can think on what he really wants

What he's trying to do through that text is called emotional blackmail. He's trying to make you feel bad about taking your own decisions. Personally I feel that you did the right thing. And you should know that that was the smartest decision you could have made, so don't feel guilty for leaving him. He's trying to make you totally dependent on him and I don't think anyone should put up with that.

I mean look at what he said " I thought you will never leave me". That explains his actions so far. Telling you not to work, insulting you by calling you a witch was all part of his propaganda to see how you would react. I think that in a way, he was trying to gain complete control over you so that he could feel secure in his marriage. Some people are control freaks and are not content until they can control every aspect of their lives. It's very annoying to have people like that around and unfortunately it just means that there is going to be a power struggle between you two over everything (but I guess all marriages are like that anyway).

Hmmm,

1) He ropes in some Prophets to accuse you of being the witch behind his misfortune,

2) He then roped in his Mum to tell you to go for deliverance from your spiritual Husband, that he will not sleep with you till then.

3) Dunno if this deliverance took place or not though, but things became okay for a lil while

4). . . now he's called a meeting involving his Mum yet again, and given you an ultimatum to choose between him and your ambition. . .

5) Reeling in shock, you tell him to give you time to think about it. . .

6) He quickly jumps in saying this proves you cannot stick with him through thick and thin.

7) You only tell him you need a trial seperation for a certain period.

8 )) He responds with a text which goes thus . . . "my thought was that i could trust u will never leave me, i never knew your love was so conditional, you have made me feel so empty,thanks for everything" . . . 




I hope I am proved wrong here and can be dismissed as just over-analysing things, but with the Mum cropping up every now and then, in matters that is even simply supposed to be between you and him, methinks you have been replaced or is about to be with a younger non-witch model of a wife who does not have a spiritual Husband, because you refused to surrender to his overly controlling nature.


And rather than that proud, conceit Husband of yours do the dirty job of pushing you out himself, he has managed to talk you into taking the first step yourself.


If I am proven wrong that there is no second wife lurking in the shadows, and you get people to beg him to allow you return home, I can imagine him telling people that "see this ungrateful woman oh, even if I allowed her to work for 10 years, she cannot save enough to buy the car I bought for her to use, yet she packed out herself after all i did for her", "women are evil, blah, blah, blah. You shoulda gone to your parent rather than embark on this slippery slope of a separation, because once he allows you back, his arrogance is gonna go off the scale and be outta this world. I wish you well.


I HOPE I AM WRONG ABOUT THE SECOND WIFEY THOUGH, I SINCERELY HOPE SO

BB, missed you . Don't tell me that sexy looking dude of yours have been keeping you busy in the bedroom.

jennykadry:

BB, missed you . Don't tell me that sexy looking dude of yours have been keeping you busy in the bedroom.

Is that my Jennykadry is BB, my siamese roomie for yabaleft I nor see action joo Nor be you promise to loan me Mr Kadry for just 6 weeks, to use him as research material for practicals to learn how to please my Husband in the bedroom Make I come collect am tonight I promise to return am in one piece.

Na wa for this thread oh, anyway not surprised at the turn of event, it is to be expected when people, especially ladies come here to seek advise and get pulled by the scruff of their neck to go back home and learn how to be more submissive and stop making noise that they ain't seen nothing, all for a lifetime of wallpapering over cracks and walking on eggshells

Busy_body:

Na wa for this thread oh, anyway not surprised at the turn of event, it is to be expected when people, especially ladies come here to seek advise and get pulled by the scruff of their neck to go back home and learn how to be more submissive and stop making noise that they ain't seen nothing, all for a lifetime of wallpapering over cracks and walking on eggshells

True, I wasn't surprised at the turn of event as well. Marriage is not a slave house please. Everybody deserves to be happy. Kadry and myself reached a compromise that instead of me to quit working, I can do part time and that suits me better and yes it works. He even allows me do night calls once in a blue moon . It is my career and I love it. No man should make a woman stop doing what she loves doing. This gurl gave up her job for 3 years just to please him , still the dude is not satisfied. And you know what? the part that drives me nuts is when he calls his mum to witness every showdown on his wife, I mean this is gawd help me pathetic. The worst part of it is the calling names part, My husband and I don't call eachother names. Ok I just lied he calls me ''oko lover'' but thats just it. No ingrate, no eediot, no witch no . . . . . . .

When she came back here to tell us the man has allowed her to go look for a job,for my mind I said ''Na today'' I give you another couple of weeks to come back here.


Lol @Iyabasira.

mutter:
The bible says that the sins of the father shall be visited upon the children.
I always found that pretty hard, but it really does happen sometimes. There are many instances of this too.
That does not mean it as to be in every case.
There is simply more to life than meets the eye.
I wonder why I should be labelled as messed up from taking extracts from the bible.

The same Bible mentioned 3 times that Jesus did not come to bring peace but to turn Mothers against children. You have 10 children right

Outstrip:
I remember when she said that too. That day I really felt sorry for her. I did not really get upset. Obviously something really crazy happened in mutters life for her to be so messed up

You dey mind the shite-stirrer, she is a Muslim yet "believes" that most people have disabled children because of the sins of the father mentioned in the Bible And peeps were saying I was harsh on her for calling her a troll once upon a time Pathetic

jennykadry:

True, I wasn't surprised at the turn of event as well. Marriage is not a slave house please. Everybody deserves to be happy. Kadry and myself reached a compromise that instead of me to quit working and face the family business alone, I can do part time and that suits me better and yes it works. He even allows me do night calls once in a blue moon . It is my career and I love it. No man should make a woman stop doing what she loves doing. This gurl gave up her job for 3 years just to please him , still the dude is not satisfied. And you know what? the part that drives me nuts is when he calls his mum to witness every showdown on his wife, I mean this is gawd help me pathetic. The worst part of it is the calling names part, My husband and I don't call eachother names. Ok I just lied he calls me ''oko lover'' but thats just it. No ingrate, no eediot, no witch no . . . . . . .

When she came back here to tell us the man has allowed her to go look for a job,for my mind I said ''Na today'' I give you another couple of weeks to come back here.

Na today you sabi say Nigerian marriages na one-sided affair

I didn't even know he'd allowed her go look for work, thought what I read was that he'd gotten himself another job a few distance away from home, and she came to jubilate that the distance was a blessing in disguise as this would give her more legroom to be free as a kite. And to be honest, my thoughts flashed back to rita@NL's friends in Canada and people's harsh reaction to her that a wife should be with her Husband in her marital home and not miles away, yet no one raised an eyebrow in Flak's case Oh well, kinda used to the double-standards around here.


Hmmm, so they tell you too that you too like yekini Well its not my own Busybody, but Busybody20 that gets told this I wonder wey she dey sef, i bet she don born another pickin again, e nor go surprise me, na every 6 months she dey born, twas 17 pickins at the last count not that I am counting though [s]I don enter lion's den with this comment [/s]


Anyway, I still dey sell lingeries for wives of wayward, philandering cheaters I will give you a generous 0.0005% of every pata i sell if you introduce customers to me