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Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Advice On Verbally Abusive Husband / I Can’t Cope With His Big Manhood- Wife Tells Court / Bearded Ladies, How Do You Cope? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Angolobabe(f): 1:49am On Mar 04, 2011
OP ,About the deliverance ,i think u should agree to it but dont go to his native doctor ,say both of u should go together to MFM and surelly u will get a geniue deliverance there if there is any spiritual husband etc same with ur husband plus if u remain in MFM and contiune praying the native doctor juju will never work on u ,as in u will be protecting urself,children and husband from any evil attack.

If u go with them they might spiritually project evil to u and cause many damages ,so please dont go to white garmont churches or any native doctors ,go to powerful church like MFM and join there weekly deliverance ,not only that it will bring ur marriage back,husband senses back and destroy any evil works in ur home . if u refuse deliverance they will conclude that ur a witch thats why ur avoiding it.

Deliverance is good for everyone witch or not witch as long as u go to the right church.,there is nothing God can not do and ur situation is nothing in his sight.

So if u love ur husband and want ur kids to be in a stable home and to remain in ur marriage u have to take the step by sitting ur husband down and have one on one talk with him concerning deliverance and how work on ur marriage.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Busybody2(f): 2:02am On Mar 04, 2011
Na wa oh, she said the baby's condition was diagnosed in London na, na wa for all this jedijedi Doctors aka Delta007, Mutter and co grin



Outstrip:

I will come back to comment later. I am extremely busy right now but I have some questions to ask some posters


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Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Delta007(m): 3:24am On Mar 04, 2011
Busy_body:

Na wa oh, she said the baby's condition was diagnosed in London na, na wa for all this jedijedi Doctors aka Delta007, Mutter and co grin

grin grin grin

My e-crush:
This is what she said:
concerning my baby,well know that when it was discovered in nig that something may be wrong, i travelled to the uk,it was confirmed all was not well.maybe a doctor can tell me what could have gone wrong with no medical issues between us and after having two healthy children previously.
Her comments show that she's only speculating that the undeveloped kidney is as a result of the physical assault from her husband. I believe her kid has a hypoplastic kidney condition. It could happen to any kid, just as any woman can have a miscarriage. It can be detected via an ultrasound, which I am guessing was used in this case. Obviously, one kidney was bigger than the other. I stand corrected tho!

[s]So BB, do you want me to examine you?[/s]
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 7:54am On Mar 04, 2011
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Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 10:35am On Mar 04, 2011
chaircover:

I am going to be bashed here and I have my helmet ready, but you know me, I am not emotional about things but seek practical solutions to issues, but as someone has mentioned, it just crossed my mind that maybe the deliverance thing maybe be a blessing in disguise.

If the poster can call the husband and say, OK lets go for deliverance TOGETHER in MY own church/church of MY choice (not where near the fake prophets or wherever he had in mind)  then this may be away of inviting God into their situation.

And lets face it if anyone needs deliverance its the hubby & thats why she should get him to come along and It kills 2 birds with one stone;  the witchcraft accusation & for God to intervene in their situation.

After all all said and done HE is the only one who can breathe life back into this ailing relationship and HE is the ONLY ONE who can do ALL things.

You really think that will work

Anyways, it's worth a shot . . . but if it's what I think it is, then it will NOT work. You really have not had an encounter with these 'prophets' before have you? undecided
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 10:51am On Mar 04, 2011
smh
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 10:54am On Mar 04, 2011
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Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Angolobabe(f): 6:17pm On Mar 04, 2011
chaircover:

I am going to be bashed here and I have my helmet ready, but you know me, I am not emotional about things but seek practical solutions to issues, but as someone has mentioned, it just crossed my mind that maybe the deliverance thing maybe be a blessing in disguise.

If the poster can call the husband and say, OK lets go for deliverance TOGETHER in MY own church/church of MY choice (not where near the fake prophets or wherever he had in mind)  then this may be away of inviting God into their situation.

And lets face it if anyone needs deliverance its the hubby & thats why she should get him to come along and It kills 2 birds with one stone;  the witchcraft accusation & for God to intervene in their situation.

After all all said and done HE is the only one who can breathe life back into this ailing relationship and HE is the ONLY ONE who can do ALL things.

Well said,this is my opinion as well.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Angolobabe(f): 6:27pm On Mar 04, 2011
OP should try her best to fix her marriage and if her effort dont work at the end ,atleast she knows that she have tried everything to work it out but all prove abortive ,this will help her not to regret later that she didnt try if the marriage dont work out,atleast do it for the sake of ur kids if not for ur marriage. dont give up that easily on something u have worked so hard to build.

I have been divorced before so i know how it can be ,the only luck i had was that i didnt have any kids with him but atleast today i am glad that i tried everything i could to make it work but all proved abortive before i finally made the decision to go ahead with divorce ,today i dont regret divorcing him cos i am happily re-married with someone better .
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 6:41pm On Mar 04, 2011
I HATE BROKEN MARRIAGES,you wont stop thinking about your first everything with your spouse
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Abekeade08(f): 3:40am On Mar 08, 2011
SISTER CC, mo gbadun eh to. Your marriage advice is a tremendous contribution to NL.
I am not married yet, but i love reading everything you have to say. Ese gan ooh.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by flak: 8:07pm On Mar 11, 2011
hi nairalanders thank u so much
@cc ur suggestion turned out to be the magic wand. i eventually agreed but stated those conditions. he strangely agreed. As fate will have it, he has gotten a new job . When he told me about the new job, i just simply said ok and walked off. he asked why and i calmly replied, hope i am not a witch anymore and that was it.

He broke down,and to think that the main reason why he resisted badly about me getting a job of recent was because he felt i have not really forgiven him about the incident and he thot i would leave him once i am financially ok.

i am glad at least he is working again, and i have my freedom to get a job after promising not to leave him or see my job as a 'second husband' and vice versa. patience, communication and genuine forgiveness really works in marriage. i guess.

Thank you all i feel so much better now. regards cc,mutter,uju,dayo,genius,ify and all others, thank u.

1 Like

Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Jenifa1: 9:24pm On Mar 11, 2011
^ wow what a testimony
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Delta007(m): 3:12am On Mar 12, 2011
I'm happy for you. All the best and I hope you both will use this series of events to rekindle your love and grow together.
flak:

hi nairalanders thank u so much
@cc your suggestion turned out to be the magic wand. i eventually agreed but stated those conditions. he strangely agreed. As fate will have it, he has gotten a new job . When he told me about the new job, i just simply said ok and walked off. he asked why and i calmly replied, hope i am not a witch anymore and that was it.

He broke down,and to think that the main reason why he resisted badly about me getting a job of recent was because he felt i have not really forgiven him about the incident and he thot i would leave him once i am financially ok.

i am glad at least he is working again, and i have my freedom to get a job after promising not to leave him or see my job as a 'second husband' and vice versa. patience, communication and genuine forgiveness really works in marriage. i guess.

Thank you all i feel so much better now. regards cc,mutter,uju,dayo,genius,ify and all others, thank u.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 11:35am On Mar 12, 2011
Thank God
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by obowunmi(m): 11:51am On Mar 12, 2011
Is this really real ? I suspect your husband has some mental issues --- maybe schizoprenia. What caused the drastic change of heart and behavior ? Its either the OP is lying or her husband is mentally unstable. Take him to a psychiatrist ASAP.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Outstrip(f): 6:12pm On Mar 12, 2011
The problem has not been solved. Life is not a bed of roses. So because things are good for him now she is no longer a witch? Please the only thing anybody can celebrate here is that she can get a job and start saving some serious money. The man has not changed. I was saying that I would not comment anymore but if she is wise she will not sit back and think that he was miraculously changed. She needs to keep working on being financially independent
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by ifyalways(f): 6:17pm On Mar 12, 2011
Outstrip:

The problem has not been solved. Life is not a bed of roses. So because things are good for him now she is no longer a witch? Please the only thing anybody can celebrate here is that she can get a job and start saving some serious money. The man has not changed. I was saying that I would not comment anymore but if she is wise she will not sit back and think that he was miraculously changed. She needs to keep working on being financially independent
I agree with you.
Lets just say,God answered her prayers and sent her a breakthrough by providing the man another Job.

She still has work to do as obviously the man has issues with a financially independent wife. . .This is just a stepping stone . . .she can now sit up and work on herself by getting a job . . .and help her man overcome and get over his phobia.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by flak: 7:07pm On Mar 12, 2011
@outsrip my dear your thots as good as mine. after all i have been thru i dont need a preacher to tell me to get a job as soon as i can.

@obowunmi i really dont think its a mental issue rather it is a situation when a person defines himself by his job or work rather than his intrinsic values. that way once that job is lost he feels worthless and thinks he does not have an identity anymore.

all in all i know God who knew i have never wished him bad answered my prayers at a point when i thot i could not carry on again. Funnily i feel happier his new job is outside our present location. i have all time in my hands to look for a job ,take care of my self and my kids. i really dont know if its right to feel that way but i cant help but admit to my self i feel sssssooooooooooooooooooooo relieved right now.

At least before he starts facing inevitable challenges on his new job and then attaching it to withcraft i would have sorted my self out pretty well.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 1:49am On Mar 13, 2011
lol @ outstrip, i thought the same thing as well but then said to myself ''werrin consign me''  . The poster made mention of ''good communication,patience e.t.c as keys to a successful marriage, i just laughed. Have they not been communicating before? Has she not been patient and tolerant all these years? Has she not spoken to him before about wanting a job?.

Lol the guy is in a happy mood because he got a job. Would he have said the same thing if he was still jobless?
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Busybody2(f): 2:06am On Mar 13, 2011
I can see the Association of Who Will Bell The Cat Sharp Shooter's meeting is in full swing cheesy Sorry I came late, hope my lateness fine will not be too much sha cheesy grin cheesy
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 2:07am On Mar 13, 2011
BTW HOW IS HE GOING WITH HIS SPIRITUALISTS? HAS HE STARTED MAKING LOVE TO YOU NOW THAT HE'S GOT A JOB? IS HE STILL INSISTING ON HIS DELIVERANCE?lol
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Outstrip(f): 4:14am On Mar 13, 2011
LOL @ association of who will bell the cat

@ Jenny I think she gets it now
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 8:19am On Mar 13, 2011
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Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 9:21am On Mar 13, 2011
How many times has she reached out to her hubby?abeg she better start getting a life before the nuts in his head shatters again.

My advise is Get a life poster and i mean get it now that things are gud
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Delta007(m): 7:24pm On Mar 13, 2011
chaircover:

These are my own 2 cents on the matter. In a nutshell, this woman has some issues with her husband she came on here to report back that some things have changed for the better.

Most of us here are married and we all know that when there is a disagreement, sometimes you concede and sometimes your partner concedes. Sometimes one person apologizes first and the other follows, sometimes one party doesn't see what they have done wrong and try to justify their actions and so on but long term these things balance up.

In the midst of the storm, this woman has made the decision to reach out to her husband and he in return has explained what the problem was and has conceded on a few issues.

It is not going to be magic and no doubt they both have a lot of hard work to do ahead if they are going to come out of this at the other side but right now, I think that we should respect her descion and give her all the help, support and encouragement that we can.

Even if we have a few niggly doubts, she married the man, she lives with the man & she knows him a lot better than we do (if any of us walked past the man on the street we wouldn't even recognize him) and based on her own reasons she has chosen to take the first step to resolve issues; that is her descison. There is still plenty of time to go over the "why's" but I think right now the focus should be on "how"

In this situation IMO the next step would be to give this woman clear & simple guidelines on how to keep things moving.
+1; Alot of people tend to forget the power of diplomacy in relationships. You do not always have to fight fire with fire to get desired results. The relationship is the only thing that suffers when both parties always want to prove they are right. Most women who have happy marriages today have perfected the act of leading from behind. It's funny how people are willing to play the diplomacy card very patiently in their workplace despite the fact that their colleague or boss is very nasty to them. They hang on for one reason or the other but when it gets to their home, they throw it out of the window and are ready to fight at any provocation. This is where I tend to question people's fundamental premise in marriages. I do not believe in 50/50 in marriages. I believe in people leveraging their strengths. If you are a lady who feels your husband is weak in an area, try to work on that area, albeit subtly, rather than complaining and focusing on the weaknesses. Same goes for the men. Nobody is perfect and when couples start growing apart, they begin to make very irrational  decisions.
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 10:34pm On Mar 13, 2011
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Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 7:19am On Mar 14, 2011
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Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by dayokanu(m): 7:46am On Mar 14, 2011
jennykadry:

BTW HOW IS HE GOING WITH HIS SPIRITUALISTS? [size=18pt]HAS HE STARTED MAKING LOVE TO YOU NOW THAT HE'S GOT A JOB?[/size] IS HE STILL INSISTING ON HIS DELIVERANCE?lol

In all we are saying, Na that one concern you pass?

Why you like "amu" like this sef?
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 9:59am On Mar 14, 2011
^^ Amu makes the world go round. cool
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by Nobody: 10:18am On Mar 14, 2011
flak:

hi nairalanders thank u so much
@cc your suggestion turned out to be the magic wand. i eventually agreed but stated those conditions. he strangely agreed. As fate will have it, he has gotten a new job . When he told me about the new job, i just simply said ok and walked off. he asked why and i calmly replied, hope i am not a witch anymore and that was it.

He broke down,and to think that the main reason why he resisted badly about me getting a job of recent was because he felt i have not really forgiven him about the incident and he thot i would leave him once i am financially ok.

i am glad at least he is working again, and i have my freedom to get a job after promising not to leave him or see my job as a 'second husband' and vice versa. patience, communication and genuine forgiveness really works in marriage. i guess.

Thank you all i feel so much better now. regards cc,mutter,uju,dayo,genius,ify and all others, thank u.

Awwwwwwwwww . . . this is really wonderful! cool cool

Thanks CC for your great help . . I must admit that I didn't think it would work but it did.

Congratulations Flak. I wish you all the best in your marriage! kiss kiss
Re: Help, How Do I Cope With A Verbally Abusive Husband by rubi(f): 2:43pm On Mar 14, 2011
I have a zero tolerance on anybody who is verbally abusive it doesn't matter who. I will walk away from that relationship. Life and death lies in the power of tongue.

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