Why not.I ve dated three single mothers in d past n they were too good.I m a single father at the moment and my female friends don't see that as a big deal

shy-one.:

@ Chima:

I agree about the "collective responses" - everything that is posted on a public site is for the benefit of anyone reading it-----so that they can see what others in the world are doing and expand their options and make better choices.

Also, I doubt on any level that to date and marry a "single parent" would ever occur because someone is trying to live for and/or please some one else at their own demise. We date to please self and if we are dating a single parent it is BECAUSE WE DESIRE THAT INDIVIDUAL. Marriage is too serious an institution to be dallied with just as an attempt to please another individual. So if we marry a single parent it is because that is our life partner and we are sealing the deal with marriage just the same as if we marry a childless partner.

My comments though I might swing them your way are actually for those residing in my similar shoes "marrying a single parent" and in the millions and millions of shoe of single parents that are and are not reading this same thread. That is the reason at times I can become quite outspoken. In Africa, how many children are residing with single parents due to NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN? How many children are starving, malnourished, living in conditions that are harmful to their health? In New York as well. The hundreds of times I went to the big apple and saw whole families sleeping in the urine smelling subways in that billion dollar city, single parents with kids and husband/wife/kids sleeping on the sidewalks with signs asking for money, etc, Some of those women were quite attractive, I was stunned. The actress who played the role of "Precious"-----her mom is a single parent and sings in the subways of N.Y. The famous individuals that were raised by single parents makes those of us "who don't date single parents," look quite silly. Lebron James mom is a single parent, Wesley Snipes mom is a single parent, Kanye West mom was a single parent, President Bill Clinton was raised by a single parent, Jill Scott (singer) was raised by a single parent and today she is a single parent, both Lisa Raye and Stacey Dash on "Single Ladies" - both too gorgeous and hot to overlook by ANY MAN are both single moms. Last but far from least---Thank God Barack Obama's mom didn't remain single for long after she birthed him "she was a single mom"---thank goodness someone saw and desired her enough to marry her so that the U.S. could have their first black president.

By the way, you are pregnant aren't you or did you give birth yet? Your husband were he to die tomorrow would leave you widow and your child fatherless, but the Mrs. Chima we have grown to love----you would still be young, attractive, fertile and very much still in your prime wanting a mate for yourself and your child would want a father even more so once they start school and see other children with fathers----Trust me====your child would wish for the same.

Your comments being read by too many to count-----to you, the ink in your pen is just a second in time that you can put to paper, then move on to the next thread. To others, your words can hammer home points that have effects as nails do to a coffin on unsuspecting innocent individuals.

There are single parents who I see daily that look better than those who have NO CHILDREN, make more money than those who have NO CHILDREN, highly intelligent, sexy, desirable and hold the attention of countless individuals because their lives have developed that much more meaning and alot of that has to do with the children that reside in their home. They are warm, loving individuals and to discount them without thought because they have children in the home isn't an option for many of us as these "single parents are too hot and fine and loving" and our desire is to occupy that same home with them. As they are the water to our rice.

As I have stated not everybody are dating or married to someone whose spouse is DEAD. It is okay for YOU because you do not have to deal with the baby momma/daddy drama. Lucky for you.

You have stated before that you do not like drama or engages into drama so if your dude were still dealing with his baby momma and she were like the ones on Maury Povich show I am sure YOU WOULDN'T even waste your time. Trust on that.

There are number of reasons why people do not want to date nor marry single parents it is not a BAD THING. You are emotionally invested because you are dating a single parent of three kids from previous relationship. If you weren't dating one, you would be less passionate about it. If you are so gung ho about "someone trash is someone treasure" then why not also be passionate about other threads as well that "discriminates" people? Exactly.

It doesn't matter those five single parents that you know personally making a dollar more than someone who has no children that STILL DOESN'T mean someone should settle for a single parent. WTF. Sample parameters doesn't represent all.

I did not read the rest of the book you wrote but You are entitled to your choices so as others are as well.

There ARE STILL going to be people who DO NOT WANTS OR WILL NOT MARRY single parents. I do not see why this is a big deal.

jontoyin:

I can consider him if is rich.

Of course! Just kidding.

shy-one.:

Thanks

Intellect ---- you possess a great deal as it is obvious that you clearly see the difference between "being defensive" and directing your response to others on a forum.

Some people live their lives as "mimes" --- when called upon to read it vexes them so it spouts them to anger.  They are so used to giving such little effort in their daily lives that when they run across others who devote time and concerted attention to topics such as these, it plagues them to THE POINT THAT IT turns them into negative individuals who shoot venom and just want to argue as they don't want to see your point(s) and they don't want anyone else to see your points either.  So they start turning the thread(s) into something unrecognizable in their efforts at temper tantrum time.

You then get to really see a different side of that writer.  Whereas on different threads they look attractive and then on this thread they turn quite ugly.  We get to see all their different colors.

They could have simply clicked "ignore" - as they don't like reading, maybe they don't know that "ignore" is an option for them.

You should have did the same thing but you didn't so pot calling the kettle black.   Tsk. Tsk.

Don't take what people say to heart it is very draining. It is not worth it.

SA Goddess:

To those that wouldn't date single parents, does it mean you would want to be single and alone for life if your current husband/wife were to pass away? Would you be ok with the opposite sex/gender not looking in your direction because you already have children from a previous marriage/relationship?

Remember life happens and there are some factors that we do not have control over!!! Not everyone is a single parent because they were whoring around and the partner ditched them for something "better". . . . . .anyway, to each their own. . . . . . .

Again, what's this got to do with someone choice not to date or marry single parents? If that happens would that still CHANGE someone's preferences? No, it wouldn't. There would always be people who wouldn't date someone who is broke, ugly, fat, disabled, a specific religion, lives in a certain part of the world, and host of others.

Single parentism aren't the only issue. There are tons of other adversaries that prevents people from dating or entering a marriage.

Employment
Finances
Religion
Education status
Family Heritage
Health status

Let's keep it real and ACCORDING TO YOU if people shouldn't have an issue dating a single parent then people shouldn't have an issue dating someone with HIV infection. It all about preferences.

I remembered on one thread Shyone stated that she wouldn't bother with HER DUDE IF HE dances like Brother Franklin in church. That's her preference and NO ONE JUMPED ON HER ABOUT IT.

It is contradictory to the fullest.

Lol Mrs chima, na you get time. More grease to your elbow sha.

lol @ "they make more money that non-baby mamas" Some people will come up with the stupidest crap to make a point.

It's a complicated matter.

If there are no ex-spouses et al to interfere, sure; you can and make a better life for the child/children. If all parties are amicable and there is open communication, sure. BUT if there appears to be interference i.e. baby mama drama, run! if you think you can handle it- all the best to you. Knowing what I know now, my answer is a huge, fat NO!

Women are much more likely to date a guy with kids than vice versa, yes?

Yes.

@OP, I don't know maybe. I might have even dated one or not(my ex was such a fuc[i]ki[/i]ng liar you can never believe what comes out of his mouth)

dearzi:

It's a complicated matter.

If there are no ex-spouses et al to interfere, sure; you can and make a better life for the child/children. If all parties are amicable and there is open communication, sure. BUT if there appears to be interference i.e. baby mama drama, run! if you think you can handle it- all the best to you. Knowing what I know now, my answer is a huge, fat NO!

That's was my point not everybody wants to deal with that shit. Some people do not have time for baby momma/daddy drama. Some single parents are sharing custody with the other parent and if that other parent is some shit out of Boy and the Hood why would I expect someone to deal with that? That's crazy to expect someone to stress themselves over issues that has nothing to do with them.

If there is no baby momma/daddy issues the PERSON may choose to be with the single parent depending on other variables as well. It still preferences when people finish dissecting and blending scenarios together.

Mrs.Chima:

As I have stated not everybody are dating or married to someone whose spouse is DEAD.  It is okay for YOU because you do not have to deal with the baby momma/daddy drama.  Lucky for you. 

You have stated before that you do not like drama or engages into drama so if your dude were still dealing with his baby momma and she were like the ones on Maury Povich show I am sure YOU WOULDN'T even waste your time.  Trust on that. 

There are number of reasons why people do not want to date nor marry single parents it is not a BAD THING.  You are emotionally invested because you are dating a single parent of three kids from previous relationship. If you weren't dating one, you would be less passionate about it.  If you are so gung ho about "someone trash is someone treasure" then why not also be passionate about other threads as well that "discriminates" people?  Exactly.

It doesn't matter those five single parents that you know personally making a dollar more than someone who has no children that STILL DOESN'T mean someone should settle for a single parent.  WTF.       Sample parameters doesn't represent all. 

I did not read the rest of the book you wrote but You are entitled to your choices so as others are as well. 

There ARE STILL going to be people who DO NOT WANTS OR WILL NOT MARRY single parents.  I do not see why this is a big deal. 

hmmmm ok - lolololol - baby mama drama doesn't occur with everyone----those that act like talk show "horror episodes" has alot to do 1) uneducated and 2) youth who many times have very ghetto mentalities----let's hope that you date a single parent that has education and doesn't conduct themselves like the out of control individuals on television. Let's hope those who do date single parents choose those who operate from a base of quality. 

hahahahahah - girl you are something else. lololololol - gotta love ya Chima.

Mrs.Chima:

You should have did the same thing but you didn't so pot calling the kettle black.   Tsk. Tsk.

Don't take what people say to heart it is very draining.  It is not worth it. 

ok - nothing taken to heart - just responding to threads "like I always do" - Have a good Friday Chima - 

U.S. culture and African culture - completely different

In the U.S. - men will most definitely date single mothers without batting an eye and MARRY THEM - everywhere you look.  It means nothing over here.  More men date single moms here than the other way around from what I see.  Friends, coworkers, neighbors, relatives - it is NORMAL to see men dating women with children and marrying them - that is a way of life in the U.S.

So if you are an African woman who has children and you are single and move to the States or if your spouse leaves you - you can basically walk outside and not worry or be concerned that because you have children, that is NOT A TURN OFF for the men in the States because they will be asking for your number - it is not taboo to date single moms or single dads in the States.

When I was right out of High School - my boyfriend actually left me for a very attractive Single Mom - he said that she was responsible and had more maturity about herself-----she was a woman where I was still "too young acting.  I didn't cook, clean, etc.

I was stunned but such is life.  It sure gave me a much better understanding that "what I thought was the way things should be----was actually the opposite."

Lol with the way this girl goes on you'd think she's the only one here in the US

a glimpse of what many black american males think of single moms

http://forums.projectcovo.com/showthread.php?t=3595941

I do admit that it's sad seeing that they're the cause most of these women are in such a predicament in the first place.

Aren't there other writers that you can shadow?

I find it weird that you can't seem to step away from me.

Why so obsessed?

Lol make sure everyone else lives in Nigeria without the internet when spewing your lies is all I ask

African are so ignorant, Americans are so openminded! koshi lo 

What you just posted - you read those types of FLava-Flav - ghetto non-factor musings?

Now I see why you complained about my postings - IT WAS OVER YOUR HEAD - you are uneducated and you dislike me because you can't sit at the same table in conversation or intellect.

The link you posted - they don't speak good English - they seem jobless - the postings are repulsive

but you post it as something to admire and you actually listen to the posters as though they have "truth and validity to offer"

Now I look at you for what you are  "birds of a feather flock together."

Wowwww - I can definitely see that someone like me would "get on your nerves."

Post articles from noteworthy sources sweetie - Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, New York Times - step up your game

You go to a nondescript BLOG that features curse words, improper english and use that as your source of reference and tell us to look?  Go to Black Magazines that are reputable.  When you step to me or shadow me in an attempt to "bully" or whatever it is you "think you are doing" - BRING IT.  

Don't type BS-----you aren't even aware of your opponent ---- if you were you wouldn't have posted this piece of "rag" that nobody has heard of -----and let alone reads.   hahahahahaha

ROFL more stories 

Ode. ghetto or not, they're still part of the same Americans you praised as "openminded".

Anyway - I must have hurt your feelings by hitting some truths yesterday - I have been on NL for every bit of 3 minutes and I find you waiting for me.

Well back to work for me.  Think what you want to think - I could care less - you are a NON-FACTOR.

I highly suggest that you spend some time in the mirror working on yourself so your self-esteem can escalate to a high enough level so you can "get out of my life and get into your own" and so that you can figure out how to post without attacking others.  Stop running behind me - be your own woman - instead of doing the copycat routine --- "when I post ----then you post."  This isn't "Simon Says." sheeesh

Focus on the topics and post your experience so we can learn something from you.  You have shared very little of significance - try to contribute something so we can learn from you.  Spend your time better - if you are jealous work on improving yourself so you can have an agenda.

Living your life attacking other people will make you bitter and angry --- get on your paper ---- craft out a career for yourself to occupy your time.  You aren't making any money wasting time with the BS venom you spend quite a bit of time spewing at others.

Behind bobo:

Why not.I ve dated three single mothers in d past n they were too good.I m a single father at the moment and my female friends don't see that as a big deal

That's great

I find that what you say is definitely true------when someone wants you, they care less about your relatives, siblings or children. They find you just as interesting whether you have children or not.

I don't think so. Too many drama from all their baby mamma's. I love kids tho but . . . .

Shy_One, Not even joking now but please be quiet.

You sound  extra reetarded now

You were bashing Africans for being ignorant and closed minded for not being keen on marrying single parents, I gave proof that your special America also have people who think lowly of single parents esp single mothers

Now you are crying about grammar and crap which is hilarious seeing that the wordings of these people are no way worse than the garbage you see here on Nairaland. Only difference is that Seun no longer allows cuss words starting from last year. No bloody difference so sorry "boo boo"

I am amused by how bothered you are by all this though. Better ignore me before you end up with an aneurysm

Now that Im not a "factor" STOP responding. abi na by force?  

Thief:

Wow---I haven't bashed anyone, neither have I told anyone to shut up or to be quiet.  But you my dear seem to think that "it is your right" to do just that. And for some odd reason you have taken it upon yourself to direct your delusions of grandeur at me. Wake up and stop dreaming, you have no connection to me to direct me, tell me or order me to do anything.

Hey "Slap-Happy" --- let's switch gears for a moment and try to keep up-----this might go a little too fast for you, I don't want to lose you because it seems as though you need a little help my dear.

What's "reetarded" is that weave you got going on.  You shouldn't attack others unless you present a "flawless front, "  I wouldn't be caught dead in that mess you seem to think is "In Vogue" on your head.

I don't usually visit profiles - but it amazes me how disturbed you have been by the "little comments" I made on a very people-friendly topic such as dating.  You seem sooo upset with me.  You over-react to opinions that don't concern you?  My opinion is my opinion that I will voice----so what.  Move forward.  What happened did a man overlook you for a Single Mother?  Did this topic his a nerve with you?  Your anger and writer-shadowing are quite misplaced.

If you spend the "needed time on your appearance" versus my beliefs you wouldn't be wearing unacceptable off-matched hair on such an attractive face.  But your reading selections that you have waved as a flag are deplorable so why should I expect anything quality out of you in terms of your appearance?  You should have spent more time in the mirror versus bashing strangers who are in their downtime trying to also enjoy NL as you do?

Did you visit one of those cheap chinese hair product stores?  I'm good in that area too.  Here's a TRUE TIP:   That synthetic hair doesn't work well with your black tresses.  Your hair even permed is too negroid in feature and doesn't resemble the hair you have either glued or had sewn onto your head.  Human Hair is what you want to opt for if you insist on making us look at your weave.  Your natural hair's texture is not as glossy and shiny as the extensions you sport.  The top of your hair lays too flat and dull while the extensions make me feel like I should be wiping the oil and glare off my computer screen that is bouncing off that phony pony. 

But knowing you EVEN ON THE OBVIOUS TRUTH I JUST TYPED - you will call it and me a liar - though your own bathroom mirror defends my position.  The venom and anger you spew when I write anything that requires reading - take that energy and focus on your appearance and in up-scaling your literary achievements.  Go into a bookstore and buy some books.  Get off that time wasting blog.  Have you heard of News Week or the Christian Science Monitor?  Put some Pulitzer into your reading.

Here's some websites that can enlighten you and introduce you to some quality individuals that do a whole lot more http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-African-American-Leadership-Council/216023013979, http://www.tavistalks.com/events/signatureevents/stateoftheblackunion, NIgerianWorldForum@ yahoogroups. com, NaijaPolitics@ yahoogroups. com; NIDOA@yahoogroups. com; naijaintellects@googlegroups. com - TRUST me you'll learn a whole lot more here than on that garbage blog you currently frequent.

Enlighten yourself so the rest of us can get a break.  Grow up, abeg.

My mother will kill me if I bring home a single father. She does not have a final say on who I date/marry, but her opinion matters a great deal to me.

In my house, we say "ooni gba oko l'oko, oko titi e ni Olorun a fun e". Which means "You will not take another man's wife/lover, God will grant you your own husband".

Chai, wetin I go do with him? Too much drama for my sake.

a glimpse of what many black american males think of single moms

http://forums.projectcovo.com/showthread.php?t=3595941

after reading the first page of that thread, i really see no incentive for women to engage in casual sex with most of these men [including likeminded nigerians oh.]

really, what does the woman gain from it?

I just went on that link- they just come across as hoodrats.

A scene from Jerry springer.

Ode ni omo yi sha. why does she continue to respond with epistles when Im supposedly not a factor? Complete simpleton. It's quite obvious dude left for more reasons than her not "cleaning", for a dude to choose a single mom over a fresh youngin is embarrassing. I'd be whiny and angry too. 

tpia@:

after reading the first page of that thread, i really see no incentive for women to engage in casual sex with most of these men [including likeminded nigerians oh.]

really, what does the woman gain from it?

I wonder o. The same one running their mouths have a babymama some where

Keep in mind that site has quite a number of  closeted Naija dudes LOL.

Hrm, interesting posts.

STOP MODDLING UP ISSUES, THE POST IS CLEAR, THOSE WHO HAVE BASTARDRRDSSS ARE THE ONES WE ARE REFFERING TO HERE.

FOR ME SHA, THE RESULT SI;


ONE WHO HAS A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK -------NO
A DIVORCEE---------NO NO NO.(Especially if she did the religious wedding)
A WIDOW/WIDOWER------TO BE LOOKED INTO/CONSIDERED AS IT WASNT ANYONES FAULT BUT NATUREThat is all,

lets not promote evil on this page o!!!

Date a single mother!, why not?. You will be doing her a world of good be servicing her periodically so that she doesn't get infested by cobwebs. Moreso, the kid(s) will be glad there is someone like a father figure around. In actual fact, you are simply carrying out what can be best described as "Community/Social Function" by helping the needy.

God bless your soul the single mother or widow is comfortable with a good job or self reliant, then bravo!!!!!, you just coast on and leave all of dem small gals out there for the ragamuffins!!!!

Wat u count is frm wen u no her n, nt wat has happen b4 u no her, wit aceptable character , I tink notin spoil

Shy-One:


hmmmm ok - lolololol - baby mama drama doesn't occur with everyone----those that act like talk show "horror episodes" has alot to do 1) uneducated and 2) youth who many times have very ghetto mentalities----let's hope that you date a single parent that has education and doesn't conduct themselves like the out of control individuals on television. Let's hope those who do date single parents choose those who operate from a base of quality. 

hahahahahah - girl you are something else. lololololol - gotta love ya Chima.


ok - nothing taken to heart - just responding to threads "like I always do" - Have a good Friday Chima - 

I hoped you didn't take it personal. According to you, you can't help you are interested in so if you are interested in someone who baby momma or baby daddy is not educated or have home training then WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Leave the person? Come on that is silly.

We ALL have a choice who we are interested in and SOME of us will take anything just to be with somebody. I have seen it happened many times and it is pathetic in my opinion.

Those characters on Maury show happens in real life and you know it. It is all good and those who are with single parents with children keep in mind it is not about you. The children will always come first in MOST cases be prepared that you may not be center of attention for a long time. (This is for everybody in single parent relationships)

Good luck!