Kobojunkie:
1. Why in the world would one waste one's time teaching an adult what he or she ought to have learned in life? Isn't one's time and effort best used in teaching the wisdom gained from one's experience to the next generation?

There is a popular saying which goes "as you lay your bed, so you lie in it", so shouldn't the father shouldn't be allowed to lie in the bed that he laid for himself?

2. Someone I could help? There are millions out there I could help. Why does it have to be that one and not the others? What has friendliness to do with this?

You know what, everything is not about logic, but everything is about choice. If he (and ofcourse you), find no logical premise to help a man, then fine. But know you are also making your own bed, hmmm?

ChukwukaEze:
1. You know what, everything is not about logic but everything is about choice.
2. If he (and ofcourse you), find no logical premise to help a man, then fine. But know you are also making your own bed, hmmm?

1. But Wisdom is of logic, and we are best served when we apply wisdom as far as our choices in life. So, are you suggesting we abandon wisdom in our dealings even where family relations are concerned?

2. Oh, I intentionally refuse to repeat any of the mistakes of those who came before me for sure. That is how I lay my bed

Kobojunkie:
1. But Wisdom is of logic, and we are best served when we apply wisdom as far as our choices in life. So, are you suggesting we abandon wisdom in our dealings even where family relations are concerned?

2. Oh, I intentionally refuse to repeat any of the mistakes of those who came before me for sure. That is how I lay my bed

Rather associate logic with choice than with wisdom.
2. And you are wise when you let your family member die? 'cause he didn't take care of you?

Men and women are different, and each provide different kind of influence on the kids. Nigerian men are typically not emotional, just like Nigerian women are typically not romantic.

Women should desist from trying to turn men into effeminate beings, as seen in the west. It's already creating leadership vacuum in families, which in turn affect the children.

Bottom line is that a man should not have to depend on his children for his retirement. While training your children, put a little on the side, because these children will have their own family to take care of in the future.

Kobojunkie:
That boy was raised by his grandmother and not his father, so what do you expect from him? He thinks having kids everywhere is how he gets to plug up the hole of loneliness inside of his being.

BEEN his fan since early 90s.a fine boy gone wrongvia wrong parental upbringing.the grandma tried a bit,buthis mom& dad were trouble..drugs and streets!i expect less from nick o,the averageblackafrican things!GOD [img]

Kobojunkie:
That boy was raised by his grandmother and not his father, so what do you expect from him? He thinks having kids everywhere is how he gets to plug up the hole of loneliness inside of his being.

BEEN his fan since early 90s.a fine boy gone wrongvia wrong parental upbringing.the grandma tried a bit,buthis mom& dad were trouble..drugs and streets!i expect less from nick o,the average black african things!GOD GO HELP US PARENTS O! its truely not easy.shout out to all God fearing dads out there

ChukwukaEze:
1. Rather associate logic with choice than with wisdom.
2. And you are wise when you let your family member die? 'cause he didn't take care of you?

1. Note that all logic is not wisdom, so also your logical choices. But logical choices made with wisdom are.

2. We are, all as a race, related by blood-- either to Adam or another first --- so why elevate your family members, even a father who chose to invest his time and care on those outside of family, above others? I honestly never really understood the logic of that as it all seems self serving to me. Yet when people do it, they pat themselves on the back believing they have accomplished the most unselfish of feats.

Neverlookback:
1
Men and women are different, and each provide different kind of influence on the kids. Nigerian men are typically not emotional, just like Nigerian women are typically not romantic.

2. Women should desist from trying to turn men into effeminate beings, as seen in the west. It's already creating leadership vacuum in families, which in turn affect the children.

3. Bottom line is that a man should not have to depend on his children for his retirement. While training your children, put a little on the side, because these children will have their own family to take care of in the future.

1. Yet all Nigerian men who endevour to live true to their emotional side you lot are quick to call names and demonize because they are different from you?,

2. How can a woman be to blame for the character of a man she never raised and probably had little time to nature assuming she even birthed him?

3. Yet the vast majority of your Nigerian men depend entirely on their same children for exactly that. You sure say you dey connected as far as reality at all?

Chee59:
TO THE MEN ESPECIALLY.
Please if you can't afford to be physically, emotionally and financially there for your children, you don't need to have children.

I'm begging you with so much pain.

Child neglect is abuse. And abuse ruins life.
Don't bow to pressure to have kids if you know you're not ready.
It's better to have a dead parent than a negligent parent.

The real irony is that the ediat is using a picture of MLK as his dp.

Neverlookback:
Men and women are different, and each provide different kind of influence on the kids. Nigerian men are typically not emotional, just like Nigerian women are typically not romantic.

Women should desist from trying to turn men into effeminate beings, as seen in the west. It's already creating leadership vacuum in families, which in turn affect the children.

Bottom line is that a man should not have to depend on his children for his retirement. While training your children, put a little on the side, because these children will have their own family to take care of in the future.

If it is effeminate to care for your kids, stay childless.

Kobojunkiee:
1. Yet all Nigerian men who endevour to live true to their emotional side you lot are quick to call names and demonize because they are different from you?,

2. How can a woman be to blame for the character of a man she never raised and probably had little time to nature assuming she even birthed him?

3. Yet the vast majority of your Nigerian men depend entirely on their same children for exactly that. You sure say you dey connected as far as reality at all?

You have time to explain.
Toxic masculinity will finish him if he doesn't amend his mindset.

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

Very nice! He should reap what he sowed.

Please define "care" in this context.

Chee59:

If it is effeminate to care for your kids, stay childless.

Takes like what is in the picture the op posted is one of the major reasons many dads are lonely at old age.

Most dads spend most of their life making their children fear them than love them.

They don’t create any beautiful memories with their children. They don’t initiative conversations that can help build bond with their children. And when they do, they get angry and shout down their children for coming up with opposing ideas about a subject. The children cannot be themselves around them. To some dads, commanding the children and forcing them to obey is the major reason they give birth in the first place.

When the children grow up, they have nothing to discuss with their dads. No intimate bond that can trigger cordial emotions or conversation. That is why many older children and their dads might be in the sitting room for hours without uttering any word to each other.

Many dads try to make up later when they realized their mistakes, but it’s always too late. This reminded me of a story a friend told me that whenever himself and his siblings are gathered in a room having fun or conversation and their dad tries to join them, they all leave the room one after the other or have lesser conversation.

Why? Their dad was fond of sending them to their rooms at every given opportunity when the family gathers, especially when they give dissenting opinions or when their dad wants to force his way to watch a movie of his interest. They also find it difficult to be themselves around him because they don’t know what might get him angry.

It’s better you build a good relationship with your children than any other thing. Your children will become your friend when you do so. This would make them to be free to share their problems, happiness, and sorrow with you.

Many guys will not understand this. But I hope they learn quickly before it’s too late. Don’t allow random internet post make you make mistakes you will regret forever.

Kobojunkiee:
1. Note that all logic is not wisdom, so also your logical choices. But logical choices made with wisdom are.

2. We are, all as a race, related by blood-- either to Adam or another first --- so why elevate your family members, even a father who chose to invest his time and care on those outside of family, above others? I honestly never really understood the logic of that as it all seems self serving to me. Yet when people do it, they pat themselves on the back believing they have accomplished the most unselfish of feats.

An issue that made you change your signature must be a serious one, a reminder even.

ChukwukaEze:
An issue that made you change your signature must be a serious one, a reminder even.

I didn't change my signature. Instead, one account got banned so I switched over temporarily to using the other until this main one was released.

toluxe0075:
Takes like what is in the picture the op posted is one of the major reasons many dads are lonely at old age.

Most dads spend most of their life making their children fear them than love them.

They don’t create any beautiful memories with their children. They don’t initiative conversations that can help build bond with their children. And when they do, they get angry and shout down their children for coming up with opposing ideas about a subject. The children cannot be themselves around them. To some dads, commanding the children and forcing them to obey is the major reason they give birth in the first place.

When the children grow up, they have nothing to discuss with their dads. No intimate bond that can trigger cordial emotions or conversation. That is why many older children and their dads might be in the sitting room for hours without uttering any word to each other.

Many dads try to make up later when they realized their mistakes, but it’s always too late. This reminded me of a story a friend told me that whenever himself and his siblings are gathered in a room having fun or conversation and their dad tries to join them, they all leave the room one after the other or have lesser conversation.

Why? Their dad was fond of sending them to their rooms at every given opportunity when the family gathers, especially when they give dissenting opinions or when their dad wants to force his way to watch a movie of his interest. They also find it difficult to be themselves around him because they don’t know what might get him angry.

It’s better you build a good relationship with your children than any other thing. Your children will become your friend when you do so. This would make them to be free to share their problems, happiness, and sorrow with you.

Many guys will not understand this. But I hope they learn quickly before it’s too late. Don’t allow random internet post make you make mistakes you will regret forever.

If only I can write as well as you do.
But everything you wrote is 100% correct.

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

I don't know you or your dad. He abandoned you, yes, but your kids are also watching what you are doing to your dad.

So you don't harvest same from your kids please do whatever you can for him. Karma has judged him and he can never get great things from you. Your mom deserves that. But we sometimes do good things for strangers.

For your own sake and children, do forgive him in the spirit of this season of God's unconditional love.

Bless up bro

P.S if I tell you my own story, you'll see that I understand where the shoe pinches

Exactly! Na my mind u speak like dis

Jennyclay:
If you choose to distance your emotions from your children, good for you. If you choose to be emotionally attached to your children, good for you.

What ever you sow is what you reap.

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

To what end ?

I am his supporter but this one wey he cap na comfam trash. Besides why he sounding like he's scared of female manipulations.
Something wey men don dey detect from miles away. Na when you detect am and you no come counter that's when you fail. I hope all is well with this Eric atm tho

So a man without millions in his Akant can't f*ck and have children again? Sometimes, you can't believe everything that comes from internet. Some people were neglected but they later turn successfully well in life. Life no balance

I can say I am a victim of such
My parents raised me well, but there was nothing like emotional enlightenment or support.
So when I left the house it affects me, till tomorrow I still suffer from it

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

no, don't do that. If you continue like that, it only shows you have learnt from the best. Before you ask "are you in my shoes"? Yes, and my mum never allowed us neglect him now that he is old.

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

that's wickedness. Anyone who liked your post is either a witch or a wizard. Repent and go help that poor old man or what will befall you will be worst

If you capable on helping him I think you should do. Everything we become today is by the grace of God. I pray he find helper

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

Davidave:



If he didn’t take the responsibility he was supposed to, he doesn’t deserved the sympathy he expects from you.

Bros we are in the same league, please if you have it in your capacity to assist him do it ... it has a reason .... just over look his past attitude . Only if your not yet steady I will say u should stay on your own ...

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

Oga go Nd help Ur father if u can afford it... One day, if u are a man, u may understand y he left u and Ur mother....but don't make mistake of letting him die when u can safe his life.


If u are a girl, u wil never under his reason. But u will get in love one day and u will begin to wonder y is life like this.

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

You don't really need that, try as much to help your father, no matter what the past is.

Do Good to your parents, so God can be Merciful to you.

ibkayee:

It's happening already, accusations of the mum poisoning the kids against their father to shift blame for the dad's failings

If you treat your kids well they will recognise it, eventually they grow up from the impressionable children they were to adults who can observe for themselves.

You are right on this babe

Goat and rat will be doing sth wrong and still be bold to post it and call it motivation.

"Don't do this, don't do this"...ewu, what works for you may not work for others!


Thank you doctor for calling him out.

Bethanybethel:
You are right my dad is paying the price for abandoning us with our sick mother. He have some health issues I have decided not to help him, he will suffer until his last breath on earth..

Gone are the days men think they can do anyhow and later the kids will help them
The world is changing fast and the joke is on fathers to pick up their responsibilities or reap what they sowed

Ladies on this forum are so short sighted to the extent that they fail to realise that it takes a man and a woman to father children.
The responsibility of child's care is on both parents.