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In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most - Romance - Nairaland

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In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 10:34pm On Aug 06, 2023
. When people think about polygamy, they imagine a young man getting married to two young women. They see it from the prism of his sexual vanity, and criticize why he is not content with one woman. But in reality, polygamy is a well-established method of human family formation and is present in every single society whether it is legislated or not. 

This class of women benefits from polygamy

1. Barren women. Most men will not marry a woman who can't bear a child for him. The alternative for such women is polygamy since the other wives can give him a child.

 2. Divorcees with children. Most men will always prefer a woman who has never been married before, but being divorced should not deny a woman marriage, and lots of men will not mind marrying such women as second wives and being step-fathers to their children. 

3. Widowers (especially with children): This is self-explanatory. 

4. Levirate wives; This is related to number three, but differs in the angle that a man marries his late brother's wife, taking care of her and the children. Giving them a home and protection.

1a. Now, bear in mind that there are more women than men. Men are responsible for most work death, and war death, most prisoners are men and men have to be established before getting a wife. A woman generally is ready to marry in her 20s. So with this reality, women will always be available in high numbers than eligible males. 

1b. Also, bear in mind that the West seeing polygamy as outdated is actually de facto polygamy. There is no difference between marrying one woman and sleeping with four outside. It is still polygamy. The women whom he didn't marry are the losers in the game since they will not enjoy any conjugal protection from him and the law. 

1c. Again, you should bear in mind that monogamy is successful in the West due to its wealth. The social system can take care of single mothers by giving them cash monthly. In other parts of the world, suffering awaits such women, in this case, polygamy transfers the responsibility to the man. 

1d. Also, polygamy is actually a burden on the polygamous man, because he now has more mouths to feed, and children and wives to take care of. His pocket has to be heavy. 

1e. Polygamy gives women the opportunity to team up and share a high-value man since these men are few in number. In dating, women share the same men, why not in marriage?

Most importantly, if polygamy is done rightly, it is equally as good as monogamy.

178 Likes 25 Shares

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by otipoju(m): 11:26pm On Aug 06, 2023
pansophist:
.

Nice and well thought out

7 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 11:48pm On Aug 06, 2023
otipoju:


Nice and well thought out

You sure? read it again. I changed it grin
Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by talented321: 11:52pm On Aug 06, 2023
Without polygamy many women will not marry'' even now sef single women and single mothers don cover everywhere.
Truth about the matter is monogamy can't work in nigeria and many men who live with one woman has many side chicks'' unlike a man who is married with two or three wives and don't have side chicken.

45 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by dgee1(m): 12:19am On Aug 07, 2023
.

pansophist:


You sure? read it again. I changed it grin

1 Like

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Kipaji: 12:19am On Aug 07, 2023
As a man that is not closed to being polygamous, I will be upfront about it with women I will deal with.
Tricking a woman into believing that she is going to be the one and only one just to surprise her down the line with a new wife is not the masculine or African way. My first wife and her family will know that there is a possibility that a second wife gets added to the team. I insist on possibility because I might decide to stay monogamous.
In any case, I will be honest and upfront. No games, no manipulation, no deceit.

77 Likes 3 Shares

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 12:29am On Aug 07, 2023
dgee1:
Bro, why did you remove it? It's crazy, na me gangan you dey talk to na! I read the first version and I've been unable to sleep here! It's 12:17.
I just finished reading the one you wrote July last year.

But when you're 30, 35 seems closer, and then you'll have a bigger responsibility in your hand, and you must deliver, or else? Hmmm.

This is where I forking am.

Anyways, I've been following you for some time now. Just started the SSE program too. I think I have your email and will try to email you about something. If it goes fine, but if not, no wahala. But please more of those stuff you deleted abeg. Keep up the good work. Thanks!


https://www.nairaland.com/7407216/thing-know-31-changed-life#117973293

It an old comment, decided to make it a topic, then decided again to delete it and replace it with this one.

2 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Amarisco(f): 12:52am On Aug 07, 2023
pansophist:
. When people think about polygamy, they imagine a young man getting married to two young women. They see it from the prism of his sexual vanity, and criticize why he is not content with one woman. But in reality, polygamy is a well-established method of human family formation and is present in every single society whether it is legislated or not. 

This class of women benefits from polygamy

1. Barren women. Most men will not marry a woman who can't bear a child for him. The alternative for such women is polygamy since the other wives can give him a child.

 2. Divorcees with children. Most men will always prefer a woman who has never been married before, but being divorced should not deny a woman marriage, and lots of men will not mind marrying such women as second wives. 

3. Widowers (especially with children): This is self-explanatory. 

4. Levirate wives; This is related to number three, but differs in the angle that a man marries his late brother's wife. 

1a. Now, bear in mind that there are more women than men. Men are responsible for most work death, and war death, most prisoners are men and men have to be established before getting a wife. A woman generally is ready to marry in her 20s. So with this reality, women will always be available in high numbers than eligible males. 

1b. Also, bear in mind that the West seeing polygamy as outdated is actually de facto polygamy. There is no difference between marrying one woman and sleeping with four outside. It is still polygamy. The women whom he didn't marry are the losers in the game since they will not enjoy any conjugal protection from him and the law. 

1c. Again, you should bear in mind that monogamy is successful in the West due to its wealth. The social system can take care of single mothers by giving them cash monthly. In other parts of the world, suffering awaits such women, in this case, polygamy transfers the responsibility to the man. 

1d. Also, polygamy is actually a burden on the polygamous man, because he now has more mouths to feed, and children and wives to take care of. His pocket has to be heavy. 

1e. Polygamy gives women the opportunity to team up and share a high-value man since these men are few in number. In dating, women share the same men, why not in marriage?

Most importantly, if polygamy is done rightly, it is equally as good as monogamy.

I give this 80% 🤭

1a… na. this is an urban myth. We are roughly evenly distributed

1b… half mark. sleeping around and having multiple wives is fundamentally different. But yes, the women lose out

8 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Rokiat(f): 1:14am On Aug 07, 2023
1d. Also, polygamy is actually a burden on the polygamous man, because he now has more mouths to feed, and children and wives to take care of. His pocket has to be heavy.



Are these men been forced into it? undecided many of you men are polygamous by nature and ain’t satisfied with one pussy. Whatever burden it comes with ya all deserve it and even more hardship.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by layzie: 1:56am On Aug 07, 2023
Rokiat:
1d. Also, polygamy is actually a burden on the polygamous man, because he now has more mouths to feed, and children and wives to take care of. His pocket has to be heavy.



Are these men been forced into it? undecided many of you men are polygamous by nature and ain’t hut satisfied with on pussy. Whatever burden it comes with ya all deserve it and even more hardship.

Is this all u can come up with?

37 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by koladata(m): 5:00am On Aug 07, 2023
pansophist i don't really think polygamy should be for only rich men or highly valued men if well planned, if both women are working in a case of 2 women to one man, they can both save three times faster to take care of their family. But all these pastors are coming for your head, Brace for impact bro.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Agp19(m): 6:38am On Aug 07, 2023
pansophist:


https://www.nairaland.com/7407216/thing-know-31-changed-life#117973293

It an old comment, decided to make it a topic, then decided again to delete it and replace it with this one.

Peace be unto pansophist.

Please sir, can you help me with a step by step process to get to Finland on a school visa. Or Better still can I send a dm sir.

Your time is much appreciated..

2 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by tommy589(m): 6:48am On Aug 07, 2023
Trust dies much faster in polygamy

6 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Ebubu3: 7:00am On Aug 07, 2023
tommy589:
Trust dies much faster in polygamy
bullshit, when it’s open that the man can marry more than one woman and can marry the barren woman, widow woman, etc how then is it a breach of trust?

If he opens it up to her from onset before he makes her a first wife that he is polygamous, how is it breach of trust?

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by tommy589(m): 8:32am On Aug 07, 2023
Ebubu3:
bullshit, when it’s open that the man can marry more than one woman and can marry the barren woman, widow woman, etc how then is it a breach of trust?

If he opens it up to her from onset before he makes her a first wife that he is polygamous, how is it breach of trust?

Where do you see breach in my comment?

I don't know that's is easy to tell a woman that you love and plan to marry as the first wife, that also you are marrying more after her

3 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by VinnyBaba: 8:38am On Aug 07, 2023
OP,

All I can say in your Topic is

If all Nigerian Men/Guys decide to be Faithful and Loyal to one Woman,🤨

Many of our Girls will STARVE TO DEATH. embarassed undecided

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Ebubu3: 9:03am On Aug 07, 2023
tommy589:


Where do you see breach in my comment?

I don't know that's is easy to tell a woman that you love and plan to marry as the first wife, that you are marrying more after her
just tell her you believe in polygamy. She’ll use her hand to understand. If it’s a young girl of less than 25 you’ll lose her, if it’s 29 and above she will likely stay.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Sweetvie: 9:51am On Aug 07, 2023
You didn't talk about the jealousy and competition among the wives?
For me, polygamy is only good for a barren woman coz she has nothing to risk or lose.
It reduce life and marital satisfaction.

Moreover, polygamy is very expensive

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by mablie(m): 10:16am On Aug 07, 2023
Polygamy is marriage to many women while monogamy is marriage to one woman too many.I say no to the plantation cool

3 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by tommy589(m): 10:48am On Aug 07, 2023
Ebubu3:
just tell her you believe in polygamy. She’ll use her hand to understand. If it’s a young girl of less than 25 you’ll lose her, if it’s 29 and above she will likely stay.

Have you been married,tried polygamy or know someone that has proposed polygamy to his would be wife before

4 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 12:06pm On Aug 07, 2023
Amarisco:


I give this 80% 🤭

1a… na. this is an urban myth. We are roughly evenly distributed

1b… half mark. sleeping around and having multiple wives is fundamentally different. But yes, the women lose out

No, we are not roughly evenly distributed. It is not true and has never been true.

Ok, I will put it this way. The realities of men make an unequal availability of marriageable men compared to women. Depending on the society, a woman is pretty much available to marry at 18 years old.

It is not the same for men. For example, lots of Ukrainian widows have emerged whose husbands had died in the war, over 300k Ukrainian men died just within the last 17 months of this ongoing war.

And that's just war. Prisons, work death, low-value men, etc are all in the mix of the few available men, so how will all these women get married? In the West, they can just adopt and depend on social benefits, but the west is less than 15% of the global population.

So no, societal stability is burdened on men, and in many cases, men's lives are sacrificed for it. So there will always be a surplus of more women than men who wants to marry.

It is from this angle that Islam for example permitted polygamy, not for evanescent reasons.

32 Likes 5 Shares

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 12:12pm On Aug 07, 2023
Sweetvie:
You didn't talk about the jealousy and competition among the wives?
For me, polygamy is only good for a barren woman coz she has nothing to risk or lose.
It reduce life and marital satisfaction.

Moreover, polygamy is very expensive

polygamy is not Eldorado, it's not the best for everyone, and it has faults as well. My point is that polygamy is useful in some situations. And for jealousy amongst wives, let them orient themselves well.

jealousy amongst wives is not a feature, its a bug. The wives should de-bug themselves from jealousy, especially when they are not forced into it, and also were not treated unfairly by the man.

20 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 12:14pm On Aug 07, 2023
Rokiat:
1d. Are these men been forced into it? undecided many of you men are polygamous by nature and ain’t hut satisfied with on pussy. Whatever burden it comes with ya all deserve it and even more hardship.

try to understand things contextually, and refrain from infusing your bias and prejudice. What you said is merely your interpretation, I didn't say or imply such.

16 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 12:16pm On Aug 07, 2023
koladata:
pansophist i don't really think polygamy should be for only rich men or highly valued men if well planned, if both women are working in a case of 2 women to one man, they can both save three times faster to take care of their family. But all these pastors are coming for your head, Brace for impact bro.

Nope, polygamy should not and can not be for poor men.

Anyways, no woman will agree to be the second wife of a poor man, so no point discussing that, it is not gonna happen. It is like banning a cow from flying when in reality, it can't actually fly. grin

17 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by pansophist(m): 12:18pm On Aug 07, 2023
Kipaji:
As a man that is not closed to being polygamous, I will be upfront about it with women I will deal with.
Tricking a woman into believing that she is going to be the one and only one just to surprise her down the line with a new wife is not the masculine or African way. My first wife and her family will know that there is a possibility that a second wife gets added to the team. I insist on possibility because I might decide to stay monogamous.
In any case, I will be honest and upfront. No games, no manipulation, no deceit.

Regardless if you are religious or not, the Islam template for polygamous men is very fair to everyone involved. Such as,

1. Possession of sufficient financial resources to provide all expenses of each family

2. Physical prowess for completely satisfying the sexual desires of each wife

3. Observance of complete justice and equality among each family in every way without any favoritism


Number three is very important. If you shall abide by the above, then make sure the ladies consent to it, if yes, then you have my blessings cool

13 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by 1Sharon(f): 2:58pm On Aug 07, 2023
Have you guys actually spoken to any children from polygamous homes to know how toxic it is?

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Savedday2: 3:05pm On Aug 07, 2023
Getting married to a 9ja girl is the greatest mistake you can ever make in a lifetime not to talk of marrying more than one 9ja girl that means, even in the grave there won't be peace.


Anytime I see a guy marrying them, I always pity him.

3 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by galantjoe(m): 7:58pm On Aug 07, 2023
Kipaji:
As a man that is not closed to being polygamous, I will be upfront about it with women I will deal with.
Tricking a woman into believing that she is going to be the one and only one just to surprise her down the line with a new wife is not the masculine or African way. My first wife and her family will know that there is a possibility that a second wife gets added to the team. I insist on possibility because I might decide to stay monogamous.
In any case, I will be honest and upfront. No games, no manipulation, no deceit.

This argument doesn't hold water. Because man divorces his wife or verse versa. Does it mean that he or she knows from abnitio that he would divorce his wife. The answer is no. So polygamy may not be premeditated as you seemingly tagged it trick.
Polygamy comes as a result of situations, which may not be present when the marriage was contracted

9 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by mariahAngel(f): 8:46pm On Aug 07, 2023
pansophist:


Nope, polygamy should not and can not be for poor men.

Anyways, no woman will agree to be the second wife of a poor man, so no point discussing that, it is not gonna happen. It is like banning a cow from flying when in reality, it can't actually fly. grin

What happened to that your yesterday's topic?
Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Amarisco(f): 1:01am On Aug 08, 2023
pansophist:


No, we are not roughly evenly distributed. It is not true and has never been true.

Ok, I will put it this way. The realities of men make an unequal availability of marriageable men compared to women. Depending on the society, a woman is pretty much available to marry at 18 years old.

It is not the same for men. For example, lots of Ukrainian widows have emerged whose husbands had died in the war, over 300k Ukrainian men died just within the last 17 months of this ongoing war.

And that's just war. Prisons, work death, low-value men, etc are all in the mix of the few available men, so how will all these women get married? In the West, they can just adopt and depend on social benefits, but the west is less than 15% of the global population.

So no, societal stability is burdened on men, and in many cases, men's lives are sacrificed for it. So there will always be a surplus of more women than men who wants to marry.

It is from this angle that Islam for example permitted polygamy, not for evanescent reasons.

Your points are valid, hypothetically. But factually according to recorded data, the difference in gender distribution is merely about 0.5-1%.

Even in our country Nigeria… so let’s not exaggerate

8 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by FalseProphet1(m): 1:20am On Aug 08, 2023
Amarisco:
Your points are valid, hypothetically. But factually according to recorded data, the difference in gender distribution is merely about 0.5-1%.

Even in our country Nigeria… so let’s not exaggerate
So how come hundreds of ladies are always disturbing me in my spiritual center and other spiritual centers and churches for prayers concerning a husband.

Whether you choose to believe it or not, the ratio of eligible men to available women is very low. Because there are millions of men in their 30s who don't have jobs, so they're not even thinking about marriage. Whereas their female counterparts are there waiting for husbands.

This means that for every 10 available women, there's only one eligible man. So they'll have to fight for him, and even if he married one out of the 10, he'll still be able to continue having affairs with the remaining 9, because there's a serious shortage of eligible men to marry them.

That's the reality on ground.

This I have seen.

22 Likes

Re: In Defense Of Polygamy, And How It Benefits Women The Most by Amarisco(f): 1:24am On Aug 08, 2023
FalseProphet1:

So how come hundreds of ladies are always disturbing me in my spiritual center and other spiritual centers and churches for prayers concerning a husband.

Whether you choose to believe it or not, the ratio of eligible men to available women is very low. Because there are millions of men in their 30s who don't have jobs, so they're not even thinking about marriage. Whereas their female counterparts are there waiting for husbands.

This means that for every 10 available women, there's only one eligible man. So they'll have to fight for him, and even if he married one out of the 10, he'll still be able to continue having affairs with the remaining 9, because there's a serious shortage of eligible men to marry them.

That's the reality on ground.

This I have seen.

In this world, not any spiritual realm, & according to census data, there is a roughly equal spread of men and women.

fact

Maybe decent/valuable men are scarce, but I don’t have the data on that.

6 Likes

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