pansophist:


polygamy is not Eldorado, it's not the best for everyone, and it has faults as well. My point is that polygamy is useful in some situations. And for jealousy amongst wives, let them orient themselves well.

jealousy amongst wives is not a feature, its a bug. The wives should de-bug themselves from jealousy, especially when they are not forced into it, and also were not treated unfairly by the man.

This particular post is very unrealistic, because no woman will ever accept polygamy.


Not even widows or women TTC.


No amount of orientation will change a natural tendency.


A particular religion has been around for almost 1500 years, still, it's female adherents are vehemently against the same polygamy supported in the religion.


Dey play.


P. S. If your wife ever accepts your proposition for polygamy or ever forgives your adultery, just know that some craftily designed waterloo is waiting for you somewhere down the line. Ire o

Polygamy made most women of the older generations enter unwarranted spiritual groups with the hope of safeguarding their interests and children and negating any spiritual threat from their rivals.

I might not go with most things the white man brought here but I will gladly take Monogamy, having stayed in a polygamous set up before, Polygamy is just too stressful for all parties involved.

Saintmary:


This particular post is very unrealistic, because no woman will ever accept polygamy.


Not even widows or women TTC.


No amount of orientation will change a natural tendency.


A particular religion has been around for almost 1500 years, still, it's female adherents are vehemently against the same polygamy supported in the religion.


Dey play.


P. S. If your wife ever accepts your proposition for polygamy or ever forgives your adultery, just know that some craftily designed waterloo is waiting for you somewhere down the line. Ire o

See this woman o, why are you giving me close marking? Or cant you tell the difference between a neutral discourse and intention?

I am not a polygamist and won't be. All I did was shine a torch at an angle that is probably not looked at when the discourse of polygamy is being discussed.

And no, women actually do engage in polygamy, both in consented cases and non-consented cases. I will give an example.

So you met a new guy that met all your list of what you want in a man, and in maybe a month's time, you guys started dating and of course, forking. Normal normal.

As time goes on, you realize that he also has other women like you, whom he rotate sexually on a weekly or even daily basis. In your mind, you have a guy, in his mind, he has a harem.

A whole you, reduced to a tyre, where he rotates you all to his sexual fulfillment. Lots of women right now are in this situation. They are in polygamy without knowing.

The above is an example of non-consented polygamy. And that is the dark side of the male mating strategy. It is optimized for quantity.

About consented polygamy, should I start mentioning well-known Nigerian polygamists? Come on, don't tell me you live under a rock.

Your celebrities are all polygamists. They have numerous baby mamas, or is it Ned Nwoko?

Also, note that women actually want the same guy. It is known as the 80/20rule or the Pareto principle. The rule is simple. If you like a guy and your friends approve of him, then another girl likes him and her friends approve of him.

No be only you like better thing. No be only you like rich man. As in, the women you will share him are plenty. Opor gan .

Where the issue is, is for him to be a godly person, and not share his loyalty to you with other women. Otherwise, he can if he wants.

pansophist:


See this woman o, why are you giving me close marking? Or cant you tell the difference between a neutral discourse and intention?

I am not a polygamist and won't be. All I did was shine a torch at an angle that is probably not looked at when the discourse of polygamy is being discussed.

And no, women actually do engage in polygamy, both in consented cases and non-consented cases. I will give an example.

So you met a new guy that met all your list of what you want in a man, and in maybe a month's time, you guys started dating and of course, forking. Normal normal.

As time goes on, you realize that he also has other women like you, whom he rotate sexually on a weekly or even daily basis. In your mind, you have a guy, in his mind, he has a harem.

The above is an example of non-consented polygamy. And that is the dark side of the male mating strategy. It is optimized for quantity.

About consented polygamy, should I start mentioning well-known Nigerian polygamists? Come on, don't tell me you live under a rock.

Your celebrities are all polygamists. They have numerous baby mamas, or is it Ned Nwoko?

Also note that women actually want the same guy. It is known as the 80/20rule or the Pareto principle. The rule is simple. If you like a guy and your friends approve of him, then another girl likes him and her friends approve of him.

No be only you like better thing. No be only you like rich man. As in, the women you will share him are plenty. Opor gan .

Where the issue is, is for him to be a godly person, and not share his loyalty to you with other women. Otherwise, he can if he wants.

Come back to this thread when you're 70

Polygamy to some extent is somewhat destructive.... However, it would shield alot of defects in women

1Sharon:
Have you guys actually spoken to any children from polygamous homes to know how toxic it is?

Stop the fear mongering. The OP is probably from a polygamous home. I'm also from a polygamous home.

Yes, polygamy isn't without its challenges. But so also is monogamy. I have many uncles who have been abandoned by their wives at old age. These women abandon their sick husbands and run to their children's house.

galantjoe:


This argument doesn't hold water. Because man divorces his wife or verse versa. Does it mean that he or she knows from abnitio that he would divorce his wife. The answer is no. So polygamy may not be premeditated as you seemingly tagged it trick.
Polygamy comes as a result of situations, which may not be present when the marriage was contracted

That's why you must be upfront about the possibility of a second wife. As a married man, I can tell you that this possibility keeps women on their toes in fulfilling their domestic responsibilities

Bukola94:
u are a very real man, u are a legend in the making. May your legacy never die with you. Your bloodline won't go into extinction

Wow thank you! I appreciate your words.

beardedboy:

Stop the fear mongering. The OP is probably from a polygamous home. I'm also from a polygamous home.

Yes, polygamy isn't without its challenges. But so also is monogamy. I have many uncles who have been abandoned by their wives at old age. These women abandon their sick husbands and run to their children's house.

Most people From polygamous homes don't want that shit for themselves or their children.

What does your uncles being abandoned by his wives prove?

Rokiat:
1d. Also, polygamy is actually a burden on the polygamous man, because he now has more mouths to feed, and children and wives to take care of. His pocket has to be heavy.



Are these men been forced into it? many of you men are polygamous by nature and ain’t satisfied with one pussy. Whatever burden it comes with ya all deserve it and even more hardship.

How is it a burden When the Wives aren't Stay at home Women who has also has a Source of income?How many Men even in a Monogamous Setting Provides for their Families more than the Wives in Honesty Nigerian Wives Contributes more Financially to their Home's Upkeep more than the Husband's especially in a middle Class Home forget about the What does Nigerian Ladies bring to the Table Rubbish they Spit here

This I have Come Across in Sociological Researches And I have Seen around me.My Paternal Grandpa was a polygamist Who wasn't even Rich Yet it Worked well for Him His Wives even When they weren't educated were never Hardworking and Fend for their Kids though My Grandpa also Contributed too

Even at a Monogamous Level do you Know Since When my Mama and,Aunties around me don dey be the Bread Winner Since their Husband had retired and haven't been Paid Gratuity nor Pension?? even my Mum before Her Husby retired no dey wait for His income before She goes to the market to Buy Soup ingredients talk more of when He is incomeless.

Probably You View the Polygamy with the Hausa or Igbo Marriage Lens Where the Women don't Work and the Husband are only the Breadwinner is why u Say Polygamy will put more burden on the Women.in other Ethnic group Both the Men and Women work and bring income home

IbroMaka:
Polygamy to some extent is somewhat destructive.... However, it would shield alot of defects in women

It isn't it's even Monogamy that is destructive and emasculates a Man the more in the olden days When Polygamy was rampant u don't See Women Disrespecting and Claiming equality with their Husby not Stabbing them on the Neck but now What do we have? Women Killing their Husbands in their Sleep

And Why do even decieve Ourselves aren't Our Nigerian Husband's Unfaithful and Promiscuous in their Monogamous Marriage before?it's only that I advocates that it Should be Practised by well to do Men more so that they Can Provide different apartment for their Wives for Peace to reign.

koladata:
pansophist i don't really think polygamy should be for only rich men or highly valued men if well planned, if both women are working in a case of 2 women to one man, they can both save three times faster to take care of their family. But all these pastors are coming for your head, Brace for impact bro.

This is Apt!! My Grandpa and the other Grandpa's I knew in my Town weren't even that wealthy and they managed their Polygamous Home well!! Yoruba Women aren't Full time Housewives in Monogamous Marriage before talk more of Polygamy Where their are other Wives and their are Competitions Who will be looking and watch Her Kids Suffer every Wife will even want to strive and work hard more that doesn't imply their Husbands Shouldn't also Hustle more too!!

Sweetvie:
You didn't talk about the jealousy and competition among the wives?
For me, polygamy is only good for a barren woman coz she has nothing to risk or lose.
It reduce life and marital satisfaction.

Moreover, polygamy is very expensive

Jealousy will Work only When the Man is Poor and Can't afford different apartment and Houses for His Wives When the Wives don't even Live together Why would they want to Jazz their selves?? Healthy Competition is good anyway When you are the only One with aMan you will be too relaxed!! Which is Bad

Even Guys if they Know they are the only Boyfriend u have they take it for granted but tell them I am Seeing Someone before I met You even though He is Serious Long distance relationship is our problem bla bal bla even when He agrees to be the Second He Won't take you for granted

meobizy:
We are theoretically two hundred and sixteen million humans in a country fit for quadruple times less than the figure. If polygamy becomes legal (which it sure is in the present Nigerian law), na continued poverty get our great grandchildren. Why can’t we set a good example by pushing short term pleasure aside? Life is not all about sex. Children are not gifts from God. Humans need resources to survive, which our country has not learned to harness nor produce. Una wey dey type in support no get forms of employment to begin with.

That isn't true as a Wealthy Polygamist you should also marry High Value educated Women Who should Know about Contraceptive Method and low Birth rate too So that they will only give birth to few Kids My Maternal Grandpa a Polygamist Even didn't give birth to Children more than my Paternal Grandpa who was a Monogamist that even died early so how will Polygamy Raise the Population more??My Maternal Grandpa's 2 Wives numb of Kids weren't even equal to my Paternal own with Only 1 Wife and He died Young What if He had lived to an Old? age His Kids would have doubled my Pat Grandpa's own!!

So are other elderly Men Who I know around me that are Polygamist.

Actor Segun Ogungbe has 2 Wives and the Wives only gave birth to 2 Kids each equals 4 if He was Monogamous too He Cud hv given birth to 4 or 5 Kids from only One Wife

you are not a lady

ultraviolet27:


This is Apt!! My Grandpa and the other Grandpa's I knew in my Town weren't even that wealthy and they managed their Polygamous Home well!! Yoruba Women aren't Full time Housewives in Monogamous Marriage before talk more of Polygamy Where their are other Wives and their are Competitions Who will be looking and watch Her Kids Suffer every Wife will even want to strive and work hard more that doesn't imply their Husbands Shouldn't also Hustle more too!!

[quote author=Amarisco post=124958420]

Your points are valid, hypothetically. But factually according to recorded data, the difference in gender distribution is merely about 0.5-1%.

Even in our country Nigeria… so let’s not exaggerate[/quote

Even if the Population of Men are More than Women in Nigeria which I don't believe because In Sociological Researches I have Seen the Population ratio of Men to women are always lower (take for example in my Town the Number of Boys in many Families are always lower to girls,Some Families don't even have Boys at all in my Family we only have 1 Boy to 3 Girls Same with my Mother and Fathers Side Where 2 of My Mum's Sisters no even born Boys at all How will boys now be more than Girls?) now back to Nigerian Statistics how many of the Men are eligible for marriages?
Visit Nigerian Prisons Round and Count how many Women are there if no be Men full there

Even Psychiatric Hospitals na still Men Plenty there and even the Ones wey dey run Mad for Street What of those going for war and dying there?Boko Haram War?(they are always Military Men not Women)Peace Keeping Force Nko? Even How many Men are Physically Fit (not
disabled)to marry? Dem no Plenty!!

Talk more of being Economically able in this Era of inflation's? Many Nigerian Women will Continue to be Single if they don't accept to be 2nd or 3rd Wives because Nigerian Economy isn't Viable and Women are more than Men Ciao!!

koladata:
you are not a lady

I am a Lady Check from my Profile I Just don't like deceiving myself!!

ultraviolet27:


Jealousy will Work only When the Man is Poor and Can't afford different apartment and Houses for His Wives When the Wives don't even Live together Why would they want to Jazz their selves?? Healthy Competition is good anyway When you are the only One with aMan you will be too relaxed!! Which is Bad

[/b]Even Guys if they Know they are the only Boyfriend u have they take it for granted but tell them I am Seeing Someone before I met You even though He is Serious Long distance relationship is our problem bla bal bla even when He agrees to be the Second He Won't take you for granted[b]

I can partially agree with you on this but I have seen a case like that, the wives live separately and only come together during Muslim celebrations and they'll still fight. I must say the first wife is crazy, easily provoked.
@bolded

IbroMaka:
Polygamy to some extent is somewhat destructive.... However, it would shield alot of defects in women

Defect? And the man is without a defect, you mean?

meobizy:
We are theoretically two hundred and sixteen million humans in a country fit for quadruple times less than the figure. If polygamy becomes legal (which it sure is in the present Nigerian law), na continued poverty get our great grandchildren. Why can’t we set a good example by pushing short term pleasure aside? Life is not all about sex. Children are not gifts from God. Humans need resources to survive, which our country has not learned to harness nor produce. Una wey dey type in support no get forms of employment to begin with.

Technically speaking, LIfe is indeed about sex. Don't think people haven't tried to control the sex lives of the populace. The church has tried and failed. Even Mohammed couldn't, that's why he was forced to allow 4 wives.

Instead, we should remove the non-sense stigma that Christians have imposed on sex, and teach our children about it from the time they turn 15. Birth control methods is the key.. more children are being sired by very religious people. So, you see. it's not 'sinners' that are the problem but the believers themselves, who supposed to be the light of the world. Yeye light of the world. spits!!

Sweetvie:


My dad neighbor in Nigeria, a Muslim man with 2 wives, like those guys literally fight everyday with weapons. And you think it will not affect the kids? You guys are one of the rare cases and polygamy is mostly practice in north, it not a big deal for them.

Toxic atmosphere

Bukola94:
Toxic atmosphere

Exactly!
You can imagine the kids that grow up in that kind of toxic family. Lack of security and stable environment

nextstep:



I think the world "calibre" is close, but perhaps "eligible" would be a less-loaded/biased word, in the sense that, while a woman is eligible for marriage by (e.g.) 21, a man in her age-group won't be until (e.g.) 26.

I think the disparity comes down to two factors:

1. In any age group you'll typically have younger women pairing with older men (can be a difference of 4-10 years). GIrls mature faster than boys because babies need to be borne earlier, and men later because they need to acquire resources to cater for their family. We see this play out in most dating choices.

2. the age pyramid (fewer number of older people at the top, and larger numbers of younger people at the bottom - see picture), practically guarantees there is a smaller pool of men for women to choose from, in pretty much any age-bracket after 20, especially if women choose up in age and status.

Then add the elegant treatment on the attrition of men due to early deaths or removal from the pool, and I'm fully convinced that there are always more women chasing fewer men, hence why polyandry is inevitable. It also means that generally, most men before 26 are "invisible" to women as far as marriage is concerned.

I get this! 💯

Kipaji:

Wow thank you! I appreciate your words.

if you can achieve your aims before 40s or reach 45. Make sure you have assets,steady incomes. Sponsors their education. That's what is keeping my daddy alive till today and we all children are contributing our quota

[quote author=ultraviolet27 post=124983732][/quote]

I get you. But you can’t say that polygamy helps the economic situation or is the answer to single womanhood. Oga pansophist highlighted earlier that it actually increases pressure, so polygamy is not just for any kind of ‘basic’ guy.

1Sharon:


Most people From polygamous homes don't want that shit for themselves or their children.

What does your uncles being abandoned by his wives prove?

"Most people"

- source: Trust me bro.

beardedboy:

"Most people"

- source: Trust me bro.

Are you from a polygamy home? What's your experience?

cococandy:
By undoing you mean not being married. Right ? Because I know that to you guys, that’s the worst thing that can happen to a woman. And when you see women who tell you they are happily single, it shatters your mind. You just can’t believe there are women whose existence do not center around finding and keeping a man. How confusing that must be

Be consoling your fellow women. Majority of unmarried woman don't feel fulfilled no matter their accomplishment. They just can't get over the feeling of not being found good enough to be married to. It applies to women even in the western world. To avoid rejection, they came up with the coping mechanism of feminism.

I'm sure most lesbos will become straight if they are guaranteed of having and keeping a man.

Funny enough, it's women who are married that try to push the narrative that marriage isn't important. Swear that you ain't married? Silly, hypocritical females.

zed7:

Be consoling your fellow women. Majority of unmarried woman don't feel fulfilled no matter their accomplishment. They just can't get over the feeling of not being found good enough to be married to. It applies to women even in the western world. To avoid rejection, they came up with the coping mechanism of feminism.

I'm sure most lesbos will become straight if they are guaranteed of having and keeping a man.

Funny enough, it's women who are married that try to push the narrative that marriage isn't important. Swear that you ain't married? Silly, hypocritical females.

That’s what you want to believe and that’s your prerogative

Being married doesn’t mean I have to join the brainless herd that tell women they have no value unless a man sees them worthy of marriage. I’m valuable single or married and my value isn’t attached to the approving gaze of man. You would understand if you had the capacity to

Bukola94:
if you can achieve your aims before 40s or reach 45. Make sure you have assets,steady incomes. Sponsors their education. That's what is keeping my daddy alive till today and we all children are contributing our quota

Thank you for the tip Bukola

meobizy:
We are theoretically two hundred and sixteen million humans in a country fit for quadruple times less than the figure. If polygamy becomes legal (which it sure is in the present Nigerian law), na continued poverty get our great grandchildren. Why can’t we set a good example by pushing short term pleasure aside? Life is not all about sex. Children are not gifts from God. Humans need resources to survive, which our country has not learned to harness nor produce. Una wey dey type in support no get forms of employment to begin with.

Polygamy has nothing to do with pleasure. Many monogamous have secret affairs for pleasure and their wives will never know. Polygamy is only advised for rich men though.

cococandy:


That’s what you want to believe and that’s your prerogative

Being married doesn’t mean I have to join the brainless herd that tell women they have no value unless a man sees them worthy of marriage. I’m valuable single or married and my value isn’t attached to the approving gaze of man. You would understand if you had the capacity to

It's okay to not want to be married. After all there are reverend fathers and sisters who are expected to be celibate. I like independent women. Let them remain independent without ever needing men, it will make us men more relaxed.