Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,165,593 members, 7,861,829 topics. Date: Saturday, 15 June 2024 at 08:34 PM

How To Live A Better Life * - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How To Live A Better Life * (5345 Views)

SA Radio Host To Reduce Breast Size For Better Life (PICS) / Can An Asthmatic Female Ever Get Married And Live A Normal Life / VIDEO: I Had To Remove My Womb To Live A Normal Life – Nse Ikpe-etim (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)

How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 7:27pm On Jan 17
*Politeness*
Drop advice or quotations you think will help people live a better life, or that have helped you in life.

Here are mine:
1) Make a to-do list. Ideally, make it the night before so your subconscious can work on it while you sleep.

2) Guard your attention jealously. Treat it like money. Be conscious of what you give your attention to. There are sooo many distractions in this internet age, FOCUS has become real super power. Those who can tune out all the noise and focus, win!

3) Spend the few minutes after you wake up (and to less extent before you fall asleep) being grateful, hyping yourself, and telling yourself what a wonderful day you'll have. This can set the mood for the day.

4) The first 30 Minutes or so after waking up, your brain cells are more active and vibrant and devoid of worries. Try to do your most difficult or unpleasant tasks durring this time (eg. a difficult phone call or email). Don't spend this time checking phone or playing social media.

5) Decide to do things you find painful or unpleasant through most of the day, minimally doing escapist stuff like social media.

6) Decide to NOT be after perfection. Things of high value usually cannot be done perfectly or even very well at all (at least not at first). As you do them you get better at them. You'd never do them if you wait till you can do them perfectly.

*What are your thoughts on these. Agree? disagree?
Why?

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 10:50pm On Jan 17
.

1 Like

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 11:24pm On Jan 17
Wounded vs. Awakened woman

2 Likes

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by pansophist(m): 11:33pm On Jan 17
Don't be a forklift.

A forklift is someone that leaves his own problem to go handle other people's problem. You be God?

The sad news is that most people's problems are structural, only God and them can save themselves.

So remove what's in your eyes first, face your challenges, and let others face theirs, then it shall be well with you.

24 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by pansophist(m): 11:38pm On Jan 17
The new slave masters are not with whips and chains, they are addictions. To be free is to be free from addictions.

Imagine a man that smokes, is a philanderer, a gambler, addicted to porn, an alcoholic, and a wankster? How life wan take better for such a man?

So to be free and lead a good life, you must rule yourself very well. You must be a well-functioning self-government. You're like a raw diamond, and you must refine yourself to live a good life.

22 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by pansophist(m): 11:45pm On Jan 17
When God asked king Solomon how he should blessed him, he chooses the blessing of knowledge.

Also God said that my people suffer for lack of knowledge. The opposite is also true. If you are wise, you won't suffer.

Apart from existential suffering (suffering that is part or life eg death, sickness, accident), almost all suffering I see that people pass through can be traced down to a lack of knowledge, or ignorance.

You can't afford to be ignorant. Na suffer full that place. So read widely, ask questions, be curious, observe, and think. You may not eliminate suffering, but you'll reduce it to a large extent if you have wisdom

20 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by pansophist(m): 11:55pm On Jan 17
Be independent.

Not the feminists kind of Independence that don't need a man o (well, they need his money somehow lol), but in the context that you can rely on yourself and do away with betrayal in form of friends.

If a friend betray you, you can give him the middle finger because you can do without him. Previous fraternity with him is not for your survival, but because you give him the benefit of trust after all, life is better enjoyed with good people.

Also, you can only truly respect yourself when you can rely on yourself. And that's what will makes others respect you too.

Because the day anyone feel that you can't do without them, then they will punish for you. And it's your fault.

16 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by pansophist(m): 12:00am On Jan 18
No gree for Yourself.

One thing I have trained myself to do is that the difficulty or easy mode of a task has no influence whether I'll do it or not.

If I have to do something, then I'm doing it. Full stop. If I plan to run for example, the rain won't stop me, it would be challenging, but now it become a matter of what is greater? My will or the rain?

And that's how you get things done. Mandatory comfort is your enemy. Comfort is like procrastination, only that it makes you enjoy wasting time.

So do things you have to do, because it has to be done, not because it's easy or hard.

36 Likes 14 Shares

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 12:04am On Jan 18
You can know too much.
You can know too much what can go wrong.
You can know too much why something won't work.

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 12:05am On Jan 18
pansophist:
The new slave masters are not with whips and chains, they are addictions. To be free is to be free from addictions.

Imagine a man that smokes, is a philanderer, a gambler, addicted to porn, an alcoholic, and a wankster? How life wan take better for such a man?

So to be free and lead a good life, you must rule yourself very well. You must be a well-functioning self-government. You're like a raw diamond, and you must refine yourself to live a good life.

*Politeness*
I totally agree

1 Like

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 12:08am On Jan 18
pansophist:
When God asked king Solomon how he should blessed him, he chooses the blessing of knowledge.

Also God said that my people suffer for lack of knowledge. The opposite is also true. If you are wise, you won't suffer.

Apart from existential suffering (suffering that is part or life eg death, sickness, accident), almost all suffering I see that people pass through can be traced down to a lack of knowledge, or ignorance.

You can't afford to be ignorant. Na suffer full that place. So ready widely, ask questions, be curious, observe, and think. You may not eliminate suffering, but you'll reduce it to a large extent if you have wisdom

*Politeness*
I've always wondered, if Solo was so wise how come he had 700 wives and 300 concubines??!

1 Like

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 12:13am On Jan 18
pansophist:
Be independent.

Not the feminists kind of Independence that don't need a man o (well, they need his money somehow lol), but in the context that you can rely on yourself and do away with betrayal in form of friends.

If a friend betray you, you can give him the middle finger because you can do without him. Previous fraternity with him is not for your survival, but because you give him the benefit of trust after all, life is better enjoyed with good people.

Also, you can only truly respect yourself when you can rely on yourself. And that's what will makes others respect you too.

Because the day anyone feel that you can't do without them, then they will punish for you. And it's your fault.

*Politeness*
Well, I'm a feminist and so is Chimamanda below. If you knew the true definition, you're probably also a feminst

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 12:21am On Jan 18
pansophist:
No gree for Yourself.

One thing I have trained myself to do is that the difficulty or easy mode of a task has no influence whether I'll do it or not.

If I have to do something, then I'm doing it. Full stop. If I plan to run for example, the rain won't stop me, it would be challenging, but now it become a matter of what is greater? My will or the rain?

And that's how you get things done. Mandatory comfort is your enemy. Comfort is like procrastination, only that it makes you enjoy wasting time.

So do things you have to do, because it has to be done, not because it's easy or hard.

*Politeness*
So true.
It feels so good though - doing only what I want and what I like to do, or doing nothing at all just chillin'
Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 12:30am On Jan 18
.

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 12:42am On Jan 18
..

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 2:09am On Jan 18
Wounded vs healed women

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by IAmHim1: 2:45am On Jan 18
one cant avoid suffering but one can reduce pain that comes with suffering

ie the death of a loved one (suffering)

understanding that the soul is recycled as the flesh decays to be used by plants and reincarnation and karma is real. your loved one is not really dead. (reduced pain)
pansophist:
When God asked king Solomon how he should blessed him, he chooses the blessing of knowledge.

Also God said that my people suffer for lack of knowledge. The opposite is also true. If you are wise, you won't suffer.

Apart from existential suffering (suffering that is part or life eg death, sickness, accident), almost all suffering I see that people pass through can be traced down to a lack of knowledge, or ignorance.

You can't afford to be ignorant. Na suffer full that place. So ready widely, ask questions, be curious, observe, and think. You may not eliminate suffering, but you'll reduce it to a large extent if you have wisdom

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by IAmHim1: 2:54am On Jan 18
https://www.nairaland.com/7939213/one-guide-end-addiction

i know what it feels like to be addicted. depressed and second guessing yourself all the time.

ive been there and noww im out. shared how i got my freedom from my addiction in the link above
pansophist:
The new slave masters are not with whips and chains, they are addictions. To be free is to be free from addictions.

Imagine a man that smokes, is a philanderer, a gambler, addicted to porn, an alcoholic, and a wankster? How life wan take better for such a man?

So to be free and lead a good life, you must rule yourself very well. You must be a well-functioning self-government. You're like a raw diamond, and you must refine yourself to live a good life.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 6:44am On Jan 18
IAmHim1:


one cant avoid suffering but one can reduce pain that comes with suffering

ie the death of a loved one (suffering)

understanding that the soul is recycled as the flesh decays to be used by plants and reincarnation and karma is real. your loved one is not really dead. (reduced pain)

*Politeness*
I'm not sure pain is a bad thing, as long as it doesn't kill you.
Assuming it is a bad thing, one can also reduce pain by taking pain medication
Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 6:45am On Jan 18
PoliteActivist:
*Politeness*
Drop advice or quotations you think will help people live a better life, or that have helped you in life (both in romance and life generally).

1 Like

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 6:55am On Jan 18
IAmHim1:

https://www.nairaland.com/7939213/one-guide-end-addiction

i know what it feels like to be addicted. depressed and second guessing yourself all the time.

ive been there and noww im out. shared how i got my freedom from my addiction in the link above

*Politeness*
Well, here's your method in a nutshell, your method to beat any addiction:

STOP DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE DOING AND START DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU HATE DOING FOR 30 DAYS STRAIGHT!!!

I told you the BIG FLAW in your method is that people can't stop doing what they love for even 5 days, and do what they hate for even 4 days, TALKLESS OF THIRTY DAYS!!!!
Re: How To Live A Better Life * by Dyfynezz12(m): 7:07am On Jan 18
pansophist:
The new slave masters are not with whips and chains, they are addictions. To be free is to be free from addictions.

Imagine a man that smokes, is a philanderer, a gambler, addicted to porn, an alcoholic, and a wankster? How life wan take better for such a man?

So to be free and lead a good life, you must rule yourself very well. You must be a well-functioning self-government. You're like a raw diamond, and you must refine yourself to live a good life.
This hit hard!!!
Re: How To Live A Better Life * by lordnkem000(m): 7:37am On Jan 18
PoliteActivist:


*Politeness*
Well, here's your method in a nutshell, your method to beat any addiction:

STOP DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE DOING AND START DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU HATE DOING FOR 30 DAYS STRAIGHT!!!

I told you the BIG FLAW in your method is that people can't stop doing what they love for even 5 days, and do what they hate for even 4 days, TALKLESS OF THIRTY DAYS!!!!

Are you quite sure you know what you are doing? Because you are such an amazing woman and very intelligent so please don't associate yourself with these feminists, especially the Nairaland and naija feminism. Because they are bitter and irresponsible, after rejecting good prospective guys because they are poor they feel bitter after jumping from dick to dick of the rich guys and tossed around and dumped. E g Tonto, iyabo ojo. You will never see mercy Johnson & chioma associate with feminists

1 Like

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by pansophist(m): 8:52am On Jan 18
PoliteActivist:


*Politeness*
Well, I'm a feminist and so is Chimamanda below. If you knew the true definition, you're probably also a feminst

Me I'm not a feminist o, God forbid.

Maybe if we are in the 90s, then I may call myself one because feminism haven't become anti man.

Then they fought for genuine issues, and gave the hope that if these issues are corrected, then even men will enjoy after all, iron sharpens iron.

But their demands have practically become endless. It's unsatiable. Right now, feminist support the cutting of a boy deek because he believes he is a girl. That's the nonsense you want me to be? Lol.

How many feminists do you know in real life that is in maybe northern Nigeria or some war town countries helping women? All power ends on social media, on screen where they use feminism as a virtue signal.

What Chimamanda wrote about feminism is the theoretical aspect, in reality, feminism is different. Nigerian Constitution guarantees goodlife for every Nigerians, but we all know the realities are different. Same with feminism.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 1:05pm On Jan 18
lordnkem000:

Are you quite sure you know what you are doing? Because you are such an amazing woman and very intelligent so please don't associate yourself with these feminists, especially the Nairaland and naija feminism. Because they are bitter and irresponsible, after rejecting good prospective guys because they are poor they feel bitter after jumping from dick to dick of the rich guys and tossed around and dumped. E g Tonto, iyabo ojo. You will never see mercy Johnson & chioma associate with feminists

pansophist:


Me I'm not a feminist o, God forbid.

Maybe if we are in the 90s, then I may call myself one because feminism haven't become anti man.

*Politeness*
I really appreciate the compliment. Well, what you described has nothing to do with feminism (a term that has now somehow been turned into a pejorative by some). It's like saying that incels who basically want to shoot women are about male empowerment! Chimamda is happily married to a white medical doctor, by the way.
FEMINISM IS A RECOGNITION THAT WOMEN ARE NATURALLY AND SOCIETALLY DISADVANTAGED.
I was just reading an article where the last born of 5 got the house and everything when their father suddenly died only because he's a boy! There are still places in this country where girls can't go to school and where the girl child has absolutely no protection against rape and forced marriages to much older men!

Let's now consider sex and issues surrounding it.
The sexual urge is a powerful basic instinct for both men and women and sooner or later it must find expression. Different if the urge were only with one gender. But only one gender has hymen that announces if she ever did it; the other gender, nothing like hymen!
One gender DARES NOT indulge as desirable opportunities arise, simply doesn't have that freedom.
The order gender can freely indulge as they wish and are even praised for "high body count". There are even brothels where they can go to specifically indulge! (Remember, it's not only one gender that enjoys sex. Both genders equally enjoy sex!)

Now, let's get to pregnancy, childbirth, and who owns the child.
We get pregnant, carry the baby in our bodies for 9 months ((men can disappear right after sex, we don't have that option)), we go through great pain giving birth to the baby and sometimes actually lose our lives. The birth changes our bodies forever, some developing leaky bladder and such, ireversible weight-gain etc, post partum depression which have lead some to suicide, etc. Meanwhile ALL the man has done to this point is enjoy sex and cum!
Once the baby is born, we've already known her for 9 months, plus all we went through to produce the baby, all that tie us to him beyond love. Plus we have to breastfeed her, etc- we simply can't walk away from the baby. But a man can easily walk away and go impregnate another woman (we can't get pregnant again for some time)

Then, in a society like Nigeria, after the woman has borne ALL the risks and unpleasantness of pregnancy and childbirth and finally produces a baby, the baby belongs to the man! And bears his last name! (Remember, ALL he bodily contributed was enjoy sex and cum! That's it!)
So the baby belongs entirely to the man - he may choose to collect his baby and toss the woman or choose to live with her; or he may choose to abandon both her and the baby - it's entirely up to him!
Despite all this, some want us to believe that it is infact men that are disadvantaged not women. Wow!

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by lordnkem000(m): 1:34pm On Jan 18
PoliteActivist:




*Politeness*
I really appreciate the compliment. Well, what you described has nothing to do with feminism (a term that has now somehow been turned into a pejorative by some). It's like saying that incels who basically want to shoot women are about male empowerment! Chimamda is happily married to a white medical doctor, by the way.
FEMINISM IS A RECOGNITION THAT WOMEN ARE NATURALLY AND SOCIETALLY DISADVANTAGED.
I was just reading an article where the last born of 5 got the house and everything when their father suddenly died only because he's a boy! There are still places in this country where girls can't go to school and where the girl child has absolutely no protection against rape and forced marriages to much older men!

Let's now consider sex and issues surrounding it.
The sexual urge is a powerful basic instinct for both men and women and sooner or later it must find expression. Different if the urge were only with one gender. But only one gender has hymen that announces if she ever did it; the other gender, nothing like hymen!
One gender DARES NOT indulge as desirable opportunities arise, simply doesn't have that freedom.
The order gender can freely indulge as they wish and are even praised for "high body count". There are even brothels where they can go to specifically indulge! (Remember, it's not only one gender that enjoys sex. Both genders equally enjoy sex!)

Now, let's get to pregnancy, childbirth, and who owns the child.
We get pregnant, carry the baby in our bodies for 9 months ((men can disappear right after sex, we don't have that option)), we go through great pain giving birth to the baby and sometimes actually lose our lives. The birth changes our bodies forever, some developing leaky bladder and such, ireversible weight-gain etc, post partum depression which have lead some to suicide, etc. Meanwhile ALL the man has done to this point is enjoy sex and cum!
Once the baby is born, we've already known her for 9 months, plus all we went through to produce the baby, all that tie us to him beyond love. Plus we have to breastfeed her, etc- we simply can't walk away from the baby. But a man can easily walk away and go impregnate another woman (we can't get pregnant again for some time)

Then, in a society like Nigeria, after the woman has borne ALL the risks and unpleasantness of pregnancy and childbirth and finally produces a baby, the baby belongs to the man! And bears his last name! (Remember, ALL he bodily contributed was enjoy sex and cum! That's it!)
So the baby belongs entirely to the man - he may choose to collect his baby and toss the woman or choose to live with her; or he may choose to abandon both her and the baby - it's entirely up to him!
Despite all this, some want us to believe that it is infact men that are disadvantaged not women. Wow!
Look i get your point, most times men can be a scum and all that but there's no need fighting against men because all these grievances you rightly mentioned, if anything blame our African culture for it, but again also note that a good woman doesn't react to these flaws and loopholes in our African culture, rather she makes her relationship work. I really disagree with you when you say that women are the disadvantaged one even though i get your points, why, because the whole responsibility lies with the man, he pays the bills, all the bills and takes careof both the child and the mother, even extending to her people. While she's busy carry the pregnancy & all, he's busy working tomorrow clear the bills, feed her and etc. so you see, the man is not entirely out. A man is not expected to complain, cry or beg for help, people will call you lazy, tell you to man up no matter his pains and difficulty. My dear I love your intelligence, I just hope Iade a reasonable point

1 Like

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 2:22pm On Jan 18
lordnkem000:

Look i get your point, most times men can be a scum and all that but there's no need fighting against men because all these grievances you rightly mentioned, if anything blame our African culture for it, but again also note that a good woman doesn't react to these flaws and loopholes in our African culture, rather she makes her relationship work. I really disagree with you when you say that women are the disadvantaged one even though i get your points, why, because the whole responsibility lies with the man, he pays the bills, all the bills and takes careof both the child and the mother, even extending to her people. While she's busy carry the pregnancy & all, he's busy working tomorrow clear the bills, feed her and etc. so you see, the man is not entirely out. A man is not expected to complain, cry or beg for help, people will call you lazy, tell you to man up no matter his pains and difficulty. My dear I love your intelligence, I just hope Iade a reasonable point

*Politeness*
Thanks for the compliment. You are quite erudite yourself. As long as you acknowledge my points. It's nobody's fault - it's just how nature and society set it up. Women are born with the odds already against them, as Chimamda put it - as if they are already guilty of something just for being born female. It's only right we recognize that and do what we can to make things as fair as possible. I was looking at suicide rates by gender. In most countries more men commit suicide than women. BUT in Nigeria it is equal, or slightly more women!
Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 2:39pm On Jan 18
PoliteActivist:
*Politeness*
Drop advice or quotations you think will help people live a better life, or that have helped you in life (both in romance and life generally). Dominique, Nlfpmod

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by lordnkem000(m): 2:57pm On Jan 18
PoliteActivist:


*Politeness*
Thanks for the compliment. You are quite erudite yourself. As long as you acknowledge my points. It's nobody's fault - it's just how nature and society set it up. Women are born with the odds already against them, as Chimamda put it - as if they are already guilty of something just for being born female. It's only right we recognize that and do what we can to make things as fair as possible. I was looking at suicide rates by gender. In most countries more men commit suicide than women. BUT in Nigeria it is equal, or slightly more women!
I'm glad you concured that it's nobody's fault, but you'll agree with me that today's Nigeria is tougher for the male child than female, from job employments to sympathy levels or even social media empathy, it's hard for a man to take care of himself and still marry a woman, pay her dowry and family obligations and then prepare for his family responsibilities, it's so tough but every man is expected to do it and the women expect you to cater for them without minding your financial strength, capacity and capabilities. Chimanda is correct in her assertions but I think she's just being sentimental and ignoring the main points, both male and female has this same issues but individual perceptions is the only difference

1 Like

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist: 8:05pm On Jan 18
lordnkem000:

I'm glad you concured that it's nobody's fault, but you'll agree with me that today's Nigeria is tougher for the male child than female, from job employments to sympathy levels or even social media empathy, it's hard for a man to take care of himself and still marry a woman, pay her dowry and family obligations and then prepare for his family responsibilities, it's so tough but every man is expected to do it and the women expect you to cater for them without minding your financial strength, capacity and capabilities. Chimanda is correct in her assertions but I think she's just being sentimental and ignoring the main points, both male and female has this same issues but individual perceptions is the only difference

*Politeness*
ALL a man has to do is make money. That's it! He doesn't have to worry about anything else. He doesn't have to go live in another family and have them judge him. He doesn't have to worry about pregnancy, childbirth, and all the headaches about them. He doesn't have to worry about waiting for someone to come for him.
Case in point, this poor girl below who committed suicide. Even when a woman has a good job and money the headache doesn't end. If she were a man she'd be balling and having time of her life!

Re: How To Live A Better Life * by lordnkem000(m): 8:36pm On Jan 18
PoliteActivist:


*Politeness*
ALL a man has to do is make money. That's it! He doesn't have to worry about anything else. He doesn't have to go live in another family and have them judge him. He doesn't have to worry about pregnancy, childbirth, and all the headaches about them. He doesn't have to worry about waiting for someone to come for him.
Case in point, this poor girl below who committed suicide. Even when a woman has a good job and money the headache doesn't end. If she were a man she'd be balling and having time of her life!
I heard about that woman's death and I felt bad because awhile ago I was in exactly that place and almost ended it like that, but i remembered my enemies and concluded that I was making them fulfilled if i took my life so i buckled up and here i am still trying to make it. You are so right when you said all a man had to do is make money and worry less about other things. But a man needs a woman who understands life and is faithful in both little and few
Re: How To Live A Better Life * by FreeIgboho: 8:45pm On Jan 18
[quote author=PoliteActivist post=128002575][/quote]

The “decide” thing actually makes sense to me. Example, once Tinubu decided it was his turn, the uninverse went to work!

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply)

How Do I Tell Her Off? / She Thinks That I Am Stingy, What Should I Do? / Watch Leaked Sex Video Of Lady Buma In Durban Enjoying

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 106
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.