₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
being locked where he can't hurt anyone again is a great ultimate result as far I'm concerned

But I agree with you that she may be the first to go beg for him to be released.
Still the better solution is not to fold arms and watch him kill her before stepping in. By then he will still end up locked up but she will be dead in addition. And the family wil be triply traumatized. Better?

I refuse to believe that a 21 year old girl cannot influence her mother. The first step is to convince her mom to leave, any other method forcing her to leave will not work. They've been together for over 20 years and this level of violence didn't just show up today and I'm sure the man's main source of control is the fact that he's probably the bread winner so involving the police will not solve anything!

cococandy:
locking him up? Great idea. Until he can be charged to court for physical assault and then sentenced to 10-25yrs for attempted murder.

That's the solution.

And ask yourself this, what would be the ultimate result? The woman in question is refusing to leave the husband, I can tell you plain and frank that if they lock him up, she would be the first person pleading on his behalf. You seem so out of touch with reality that it's not even funny, this is 9ja forget all the bullsh*t you see or hear in the movies or the radio!

cococandy:
So if the man is actively beating the mom or trying to strangle her at the moment, the best she can do is fold her arms and watch since it's not her place to involve the police even if no one else can help at the moment?

Tell me what the police will achieve besides locking the man up or even killing him? The Nigerian police that I know might even collect bribe and set the man free, what then happens next?

sketcherJ:
I DISAGREE WITH U SIR!!!ur level of superstition is high...there are some dads in dis world dat will frustrate u,gice u high bp'curse u for no good reason....and u mean the curse will actually work for no good reason

No matter what your parents do to frustrate you, shouting at them, calling the police on them or hitting them is a taboo. I don't know about any other situation but this particular case, the child involved is at the age where she should be wise enough to influence her mother, there are ways to do things without making it look like she's the one creating chaos!

youngies:
What is it about this archaic "culture" that one cannot report an abusive and violent parent to the police?

When has the roles and duties of the police changed from maintaining law and order in the society?

Your police-phobia attitude in this case is not only backward thinking, it actually feeds the high rate of preventable crimes that we experience in our society.

A very attempt or act of violent crime should be reported to the police or other security agencies.

You can continue talking in high fancy language that only works in theory or you can become a realist like me and see the situation for what it really is. After calling the police, what do you expect to happen next? Jail? The father stops his ways? What exactly does involving the police actually achieve besides complicating matters? Or can't you read that the mom is unwilling to leave the dad?

lolababe331e:
Read through the comments she already involved family, Pastor and others and the man has refused to listen he has even threatened to pour hot water on the Pastor. The Mother has also refused to leave so who else should she call? Or she should watch till he strangles her to death one day

What will happen when he kills her? He will be hung! Better the police talk some sense into his head now than later

Honestly I despise weak mothers who stay with abusive men see what rubbish she's exposing her children to

It's not her place to call the police, no matter how wayward parents maybe it's not the children's place to get them in trouble. What she can do is to try and talk sense into her mother, she's old enough now to be able to influence her mother, what you are asking her to do is called relationship suicide and once its done there's no going back. She mentioned it's not the first time this has happened and yet they resolved it, I refuse to believe involving the police is the best course of action! Unless we all want to deceive ourselves and act like this issue is rare in the Nigerian society, we should all know by now that you can't help someone that does not want to help his or herself, let the woman come to her senses!

aderonila18:
The role of a child is to step in and save their parents when it's required since the adults are not and God will bless her for doing that. Enough with all these useless superstitions of curses, the man is in the wrong and no curse will have effect on her. In fact God will bless her more for saving her family.

Many have watched till their mother was killed, someone has tried to strangle her mother and you are talking "over reacting" is it till the woman is in the grave before she'll know there's real danger

And involving the police is what you call stepping in? Please don't let western ideologies to crowd your judgment. The child can step in by involving family members, she can step in by getting her mother's family involved. She can step in by getting neighbors involved and finally she can step in by convincing her mother to leave. What will she achieve by involving the police? The man gets locked up? The man gets beaten? I'll tell you the result, he'll get out of jail, throw the woman and her child out of the house and life goes on, case closed! I believe the better alternative is for the child to convince her mother to leave if things cannot be resolved by family members.

bamidele029:
A child who saves her father from hanging as a murderer and her mother from being killed and her siblings from being orphans will always be successful. The normal routes have already been explored with her calling older people and family members to talk to him but the man is threatening even those ones. Prayer is good , God gave us a brain to act while praying.

Lack of action was what lead to the death of the Titilayo lawyer woman who was killed by her husband. She chose to pray and hope and instead she was killed and now the man will also be hanged living their child an orphan with a terrible legacy nothing like over reacting when life is concerned. He has been abusive for over 20years yet she's crying out now because she can sense danger is eminent. Only the person living in the situation can say how bad it is.

Is she watches till he murders her murder will she succeed in life How will she forgive herself for not acting till things got out if hands. Even her younger ones will blame her for not doing more

You are mixing apples with oranges. For every Titilayo we have out there, we have 1,000 more that were going through the same thing and survived. You are still missing the main point here, it is not the child's place to involve the authorities! I believe the more logical method would be for the child to seek out more family members, more religious/community leaders to intervene on this issue. The person that should be involving the authorities is the wife, if she believes she's not in danger, if she believes that the issue can be resolved without involving the police then it is her right! Don't get the kid in a mess that she cannot handle, even the community would blame her afterwards. What if after contacting the police, the woman refuses to leave? How would the child be looked upon by her father? You are talking about ever lasting hatred here.....

bamidele029:
She should watch till he kills her mother and also gets hanged for murder instead abi She already stated he has refused to listen to people who tried to talk to him so what other action is left?

It's for his own good if she reports him to the police, since he smokes weed maybe the that is what he needs to come back to his senses

Show me a child that has done what you are requesting her to do and has gone on in life to be successful?
There are better alternatives that the child can pursue, issues like this happens in majority of naija households, the key is to not overreact. Even the woman in question went to church rather than fight for her cause. If anyone should call the police, it should be the wife and not the child. Children must know their role and play it!

Young girl listen well, I will not repeat myself! Stop letting the devil use you to fulfill its mission! Your father will always be your father no matter what, I know the situation looks drastic right now but everything happens for a reason. The best thing you and your mom can do is to try all possible means for a peaceful resolution. This means staying away from sometime and getting elders involved. If your father wanted to kill your mother, he would have done so long ago and as long as your mother is not willing to leave him then it is not your place to force her. Trust in the God you serve to protect her, be very prayerful as most issues such as this are more spiritual than physical. Finally, at the age of 21, you are on the right track, get through NYSC, get a good job and use your success to fight for your mother, that I believe is the best form of revenge! To get the police involved now or to do something drastic would only form a lifelong hatred between you and your father. I don't know where you come from but in Yorubaland if parents placed a curse on their child, it is usually very potent!

4everGrand:
There are some who respect nobody; nobody can talk to them. It seems ur dad's of that specie. Its good though that you do not want to make the police go for him.

But I think men like that need to be taught the lesson of their lives. Their wives are their companion not their property or punching bag.

I dont know, I just think you should report him to the police. Or drop sth that can make someone help you do the reporting urself. Just see this as u helping ur mum and not as u getting at ur dad. It might be painful, but prayerfully do wat u gotta do.

Stop giving rubbish advice, a child should report his or her parent to the police, for what exactly? Very careless statement!

babyosisi:
And you ended up leaving all these girls after a point and moved on abi
[size=18pt]Una don see am,evidence before your eyes [/size]
Girls,keep some of these stories to yourselves
This is the evidence that you should
It doesn't add anything to you but removes from you
You will be merely spreading your stories from person to person
To what avail?
End of discussion

You don't get it, I'm the one doing much of the disclosing. I should be the one to keep quiet but I chose full honesty, the girl I'm with now is not perfect but she's honest and I value that more than anything. I don't care how beautiful you are or how intelligent you might think you are, the truth will always come out, all I'm saying is I prefer to hear it from you than from someone else.....I don't know how much more I can explain

Adenirandorothy:
Really? I would still give him some time,I am sure he has his reasons...

Trust me, even if given a year it can't be done!

MissTechy:
Hey Abbey I just launched 3 months ago and I have an alexa rank of 974, reach them through socials, I offer freebies to commentators - ever month the top 3 commenters get N5000 worth of airtime to get data. - very dynamic.

Any more questions?

Your Alexa rank of 974 is it world rank or to a specific geolocation?

What about your google rank? How does Google view you, do you use Google Analytics?

babyosisi:
There are times you will hear no gists from anyone including outsiders and the only one you hear is the one she tells so she can decide not to tell it.

Are you willing to take that risk? Watching your back for the rest of your life hoping that someone somewhere does not blabber? Wouldn't it be easier to just be honest?

babyosisi:
It is a foolish man that will reveal who he slept with
Didn't the man also sleep with people
What is the big deal
So you want to know so that what will happen?
Ask her who is bigger or better?

Every girl I've been with I've disclosed to my current partner, even before we got serious. It helps them make an informed decision, they can decide if they want to stay or not, that's the premise behind honesty! When I first start a relationship, I ask lots of personal details, some girls have been heart broken thru no fault of their own, their stories helps me understand the situation better.

Adenirandorothy:
Hi,was the guy successful in hacking your account? Or you guys have suddenly given up? Cos you are the reason I am still following this thread or have you suddenly given up?

He gave up, guess I'll have to look for someone else to take my money

babyosisi:
If past incidences are easily forgotten then past incidences are inconsequential since they are easily forgiven anyway
So why bring them up?
The woman doesn't need the forgiveness when she was already forgiven before she met him
Women blab less,that is my message
Keep your dignity
If the relationship doesn't work out you will be glad you kept your stories to yourself

I suggest you look up the difference between a relationship and a marriage. Let me keep it simple cos I hate going back and forth. In business before investing, an investor likes to make an informed decision by calculating all the risks, if the company or person being invested in does not disclose past misdeeds, the result could be catastrophic! I still maintain my stance, I'd rather hear the gist from my girl than from an outsider!

babyosisi:
Ladies please imagine this scenario
In your university days,money was tight,father and mother poor,living in a one room at overail Aba
You are in the third year at UNIJOS
Temptations
Somebody comes and tells you some senators are coming into town and you follow them go party
After the party,una come go for bed
Na so you begin do small small side things and you graduate from the uni
You turn a new leaf,totally hate what you did and genuinely repent

Tomorrow you meet emeka who is getting serious with you and in the name of coming clean,you tell him all your last including the 5 senators you chopped,emeka picks race.
One year later,you meat Nnamdi,same thing repeats
6 months later you meet charles,you will open mouth again and start blabbing
You meet Gbenga and Edet,you are still blabbing
Assuming the relationships didn't break over these revelations per se but all of a sudden you have about 7 or 8 men that you have told secrets of your life
Emeka,Nnamdi,Gbenga et al will of course tell people what you told them especially when the relationship is over
Ngwa how does that feel to know your story is everywhere
This is how girls destroy themselves with their own mouths
Don't do it

Another bad example, what I would suggest here is for the girl to change her type, to change her preference in men. I refuse to believe all guys think the same! If a guy truly loves a woman, past incidence are easily forgiven, especially if the girl was honest from the start. Most Nigerian university girls are worse than prostitutes so that's nothing new, if the girl kept the secret, got married and after some years one of the senator happens to be the guy's employer or kin, what would she do?

babyosisi:
This is especially for people who have deep things they did in the past
Digging it up is fruitless
For what?
So the man can call you honest or pity you or what
I never asked my husband how many abortions he sponsored,I don't wanna know, I never had any abortions and he didn't ask either
If I had any abortions, perhaps I wouldn't divulge that info
Not necessary
People should be mature and reason like mature people ,especially women,we talk too much
Man touch you for waist,you begin to even spill secrets you swore to friends you won't reveal about them
Very foolish
Keep some things in your heart

Many Women go through several boyfriends and suitors before marriage so every boyfriend you meet,you will be telling your abortion stories and your sexcapades ,ruining your rep with your own god given lips kwa
Mbanu
That is sheer foolishness

You're still missing the point, it's not about the deed itself, it's not about how traumatic the deed was or how frequently, all that matters here is the ability to share anything with the one you love or the one you claim you want to spend the rest of your life with. People marry prostitutes everyday, people marry former drug addicts, there's no big deal in that, what matters is that both parties involve understands one another and there are no skeletons in the cupboard. Believe it or not, most guys appreciate hearing a confession from the person who erred than from an outsider!

If Nigerians are not commenting on your tech blog, it is because you've done a poor job in marketing the blog. Make your blog interesting, dedicate time and effort towards marketing and other PR methods only then will you see an uptick in user engagement.

1. What's your Google rank
2. How are you reaching Nigerians?
3. Do you offer freebies on your blog? Such as free software, PDF and so on...
4. How dynamic is your blog?

I suggest you stop blaming the consumer and invest more in your business.

Based on the write up I can conclude that the writer is either not married or in a very crappy marriage! Leading researchers have shown that the number one cause of divorce are secrets, some secrets are unraveled in a short span while others are discovered 5 to 20 years down the line, the longer the secrets the more devastating it becomes when the truth is finally revealed. For example: You cheated on your husband, 5 years ago and didn't tell him, since then you've had a child for him, he later discovered the truth somehow somewhere, not only have you betrayed his trust but you've made him question everything he had with you including the paternity of that child! We all humans and we make mistakes but the greatest mistake is to underestimate the value of trust in a relationship.

And they call this news? No be today things like this dey happen. In fact due to stricter immigration laws and other factors, the number of fake marriages has drastically gone down. In the 80s and 90s, 90% of Nigerians in the USA or UK came illegally, obtained their stay thru fake marriages and are now naturalized citizens. I feel no pity for these women for they are only paying for the sins of their fore fathers(slavery) and to a hustling 9ja guy, the end must justify the means!

People aren't asking the right questions! How do we know that the bottle was not opened by OP and the item inserted and closed? If you pursue legal action, your case can be dismissed easily!

I'm glad I skipped youth service, the whole idea is rubbish! After going through federal or state university and spending an extra year or two due to strikes and other nuisances, they now force you to waste a year of your life in a run down town and then after leave you struggling to find a job that'll pay you half your worth. Absolute nonsense!

IVORY2009:
I hv all the information needed to get the job done; but I'm waiting for some security tools to finish up, I understand you're a technology man, so you should understand; perhaps till 2morrow.

Okay I understand, tomorrow it is!

IVORY2009:
Just a moment...

How long shall I wait? Just tell me bro, what you need to make the job easier and I'll get it for you....

IVORY2009:
Wat if I tell you that all of the above have been gotten to make the job easier, even your phone number in the US too "Atlanta" e.g. (404) 6......... I dey laugh

we run things wen it comes to PP, you're my friend, I would not want to step on ur toes.

Dude once again public info., this sh*t is getting boring ***Yawn****, let me give you the full phone number 4046923999, DOB: March 29...198*, what more do you want my niccur!

Adenirandorothy:
I am waiting patiently to see how this would end,you guys are making this thread really interesting,the reason I am still following this thread

I can tell you how it will end, he's going to fail! Because Nigerians are not that skilled in hacking and I forgot to tell him that I'm a certified ethical hacker (CEH)

Daneguakhi:
This is very informative. Thanks a lot abbey621 for the bits of education. IVORY2009 i'm rooting for you too o,don't relent cos I think this bros abbey621 knows his onions well.

Glad to be of help.

IVORY2009:
But now u admit.... Dis are some of the security details he needs to move on to verification stage, now ur social security details can now be easy.... Another thing is dis hackers dont just hack for fun; but I will insist he moves to the next stage, and I will keep updating u.

Dude stop clowning yourself! I already made the hacker's job easy. If he/she can get my SSN, mother's maiden name and DOB, then there's a chance of success, otherwise you are sitting on a long thing.....I'm giving you a golden opportunity here to make some money, don't let me down

IVORY2009:
Important update... Look wat my "indian" buddy found "Abiodun Olokoduna" do u want him to move to d next stage; I dey laugh

Dude that's public info., anyone can use my alias and search using Google to find my name. I must admit, your Indian buddy is slow o, are you sure he or she is a real hacker?