₦airaland Forum

Sabrwahaqqo:
What is in a name? Human beings are animals- Homo sapien FYI. And for control, unless you have never gotten angry before and had never said or did what you later regret, which I greatly doubt, then can I accept your self control story. Conclusively anyway, You can avoid reality, but you can never avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. Don't let the holy holy brothers in yo place of worship fool you, many of 'em are worse off.

Avoiding reality is pronouncing your own weakness on every man...

Yeah we get angry and say things we don't want to say sometimes, doesn't mean we don't mean them. But that happens in a split second, cheating on the other hand doesn't take a split second and you can't mistakenly fall in a vag. So it's totally different.

And uhm I aint an animal... stop generalizing the issue, feel free to call yourself an animal. just coz some scientist made a proclamation don't mean we all have to accept it.

But some girls get married in their 20s and have a blissful home...

Sabrwahaqqo:
Trust me, along the line he will cheat on you. Actually, from a personal point of view I don't see what you guys call cheating as what you folks see it as. I see it as nature; Man is a polygamous animal.

You are a polygamous animal... some humans actually have control and I'm going to be with that kind of human with self control.

Cheating is not something I can condone.

freecocoa:
It's really a pity and shame.

You can say that again...

He can cheat but I should stay faithful? Hian... I'm of the opinion that relationship and marriage is not by force. Plus, I hate to be cheated out of money that is replaceable talk less of a cheating partner.

I don't hope to be managed therefore, I aint managing anyone. Mtcheew.

It'll make her pave a way to your wallet...

If she doesn't like you tho...

Qualer:
CHAI.. Babe and wedding outfits... ya diba!!!

Don't blame us abeg... who doesn't like glamorous things?

I don't hide the fact that I don't like cooking from anyone... but my dad just to avoid the "you don't know you're a woman talk"..

Her dress is to die...

cvibe2:
Who told you she is happy? Do you know how many times she cries herself to sleep every night? Behind those dashing smiles and classy looks is a woman yearning to be loved.

So... married women don't cry themselves to sleep

It's just a suit... his pose is awful tho .

If we don't give you drama, who will

Both genders have significant roles to play in this great circle of life. Tbh, I wouldn't want it any other way.

But you can take the advise of one on the posters and "grow a dikk" anyway...

Hazardd:
you are comparing your self with guys.. Have you heard of menopause

What happened to menopause? N I aint comparing myself to anyone. You asked a question, I answered. #dazall

Ha... feminism is now illegal? Lol.

I guess gals will wake up when guys wake up...

Same reason guys are single...

yongnoble:
My advice: NO! Let her nurse your child till he is one and she can begin her job search. The God that blessed her with this offer, would provide her with something bigger when your child turns one.
After all being a wife/nursing mother is a job itself.

Only one year? How about she nurses him till he's 10 before starting the job search?
I'm pretty sure you're not married... we should learn to be realistic in our expectations.

benjaminiyke:
Very nice Observations...I love my girlfriend so much but she's too materialistic;I send her 10k to 5k every month for reasons I can't fathom,am unemployed and the only thing I have now are my savings but she won't understand,she wants to wear nice clothes,shoes and expensive hairs. As long as I meet her demands she's happy but as soon as I tell her I don't have money to send,she begins to feel I don't love her. Recently I told her about my plan to travel abroad for my PHD program and she was very excited, she even promised to marry me immediately i come back to Nigeria,but unfortunately things didn't go according to plan and I had to delay my plans for the foreseeable future,when I told her about my decision She felt bad and told me she doesn't know if we will still marry based on my decision not to travel abroad because i promise her an Iphone 6 as soon as I get there. She treats me well and respects me but how can I deal with these are materialistic attitude? Your advice is most appreciated. Thanks

The "my boyfriend is abroad" syndrome

Uhm... I guess no one is perfect but if she explicitly told you that she aint gon get married to you because you are not going abroad yet, you really need to rethink the whole relationship.

Oh well, you have your own flaws too so don't be quick to raise a finger. If you can deal with her materialism tho that's fine but if you can't, you walk now.

I guess she's really pretty and "endowed" that's y you're still there.

"High maintenance" "low maintenance" bla bla bla... girls really justify the fact that they are compared to cars... are you a machine or a car or a human? why do you need another human to "maintain" you?

It just sounds weird... I mean, if you want an ipad or an airplane, must a man get it for you? What do you use the gadgets for? To play games or waste your time or what?

Lemme not go further...

What if his wife was the one cheating? Will the advise still remain the same?

But I hope all those calling amadioha just for washing of panties don't expect the lady to wash theirs(boxers and pants)?

gregzone:
[color=#F48700]True, some men don't mind if a woman can cook or not, different strokes for different folks but in my own case I do. You sabi Spa?
Well,about not dating someone you won't get married to that's an argument for another day. The person you are dating now are you sure you will marry him?
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It's not certain, that's for sure. Like who knows tomorrow? But if I don't see the possibility of getting married to him, why on earth will I waste his time and even more importantly my time?

So if cooking is a must for you, y waste her time and yours sef? What ll be the point?

Don't tell me you still do things for "doing sake"

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Yea...so how do you get to ascertain if you want to marry a guy? [/color]

First off, let me state that "romantic love" is experienced in the first 2yrs(maximum) of dating/being with someone(my opinion but also the opinion of some people). After that, it boils down to mutual respect, understanding, compatibility and most importantly, the willingness to stay together(in my opinion ).

You've heard people say "I love him/her but I can't live with". In this case, I like to assume they are incompatible, they don't understand each other or they have different ideologies(imagine a feminist and a traditional Nigerian man ). Wisdom is walking away if all effort to make things work fails but "love" is going ahead to marry the person and when the butterflies go away? Resentment sets in. I'm not saying love is the opposite of wisdom but if they don't work hand in hand then it can be.

To your question...

Get to know him, his personality, character, attitude... can I live with that?

Get to know his opinion on marriage and family, what he expects from me and let him know what I expect from him... can we meet each other at the middle(compromise)?

His values, do they align with mine? Coz I aint gon try to change anyone and it's those values that'll be passed on to the next generation.

Check his goals... do they align with mine?

How committed are you to me and to making it work?

Love... of course you need to have that romantic love/chemistry to even want to know or understand him and when you don't feel the butterflies anymore, you are committed to each other, work on the relationship, rekindle the fire and in so doing, create a bond between the two of you (instead of hoping the children will create the bond).

But hey, I'm human so I might have false judgments in some aspects so... I'm gonna trust God to help me make the right choice...

You can dabble into love but marriage?

Sorry for the epistle, but you asked for it...

We all know the answer... no!

But I can bet those "SPA" chicks will still get married w/o "cooking skills"... it's all in the mind...

If cooking is in your checklist then let her go, no need dating someone you won't get married to.

Love(bf/gf kind) is overrated...

jimmy4x:
I be Yoruba guy but na white or Ibo girl I MUST marry

Lol... ok oh.

gmyguy:
VERY BEAUTIFUL LADY. Am sorry to say, i think most Nigerian ladies can't compete with foreigners.

Oyibo arse licker alert... your type will worship the ground oyibos walk on...

Is it just me or the girl is not excited at all? Hmm...

Captainswag225:
when will nigerians ever promote inter-tribal marriages?

Never... it actually kills culture... imagine me, all my life I've lived among ibos then I get married to a yoruba guy... when we have kids, what culture/tradition am I to teach them? knowing that I know little about yorubas and allot about ibos? What language will I teach them?

If I go with igbo, it'll cause friction between myself and his family so they might end up knowing only English.

Again, what if daddy wants the child to be kunle n mummy wants dozie? To appease the man, the woman will ask him to come up with an English or "bible" name... that's when you hear weird names like Evans, Elite and bla bla bla...

All in all, inter tribal marriages will not be "promoted" or advised but the emphasis on marrying from your tribe is becoming less by the day.


To the question, 1st choice has to be my tribe... 2nd choice.... uhm, same as the first but who knows rii?

Is this the male version of casual chic?

I'm on the fence on this one, I don't like it but I don't particularly hate it either...

Hmm... lol!

Jman06:
Serves her right!

I am sure a serious guy who really loved her must have been turned down because of that nigga.

Ladies get what they deserve!

Are you sure you're thinking straight?

So what was she to do? Double date? If she was seeing other guys you'll still insult her!

the man claimed to love her n she loved him and they were working to get married, for crying out loud, they're done with the introduction. What other seriousness is needed to take a man seriously?

I'm sure you've never been deceived before? Anyhow anyhow, guys must blame girls for everything. Guy gets hurt, it's a gal's fault... gal gets hurt, it's a gal's fault.

HABA!!!