₦airaland Forum

nalijah07:
Thank you brother

@ Abuseay - don't be jealous.

Okay, now I am curious. Do you guys feel that Naija husbands in Naija make better husbands than Nigerian husbands abroad?

You can get good husbands both home and abroad. I think it is an individual thing.

If you are a girl living abroad, you may be better off with a guy abroad because a guy at home may not resonate at the same frequency with you except you are willing to adjust.

Please note the may's

your sis?

hahahahahahaha

Legover?

Sisikill:
Aah! Submission, . .  my, how I love that word. I’m going to assume that we’re throwing this word into the mix because is in the bible, right? Okay, fine. . . God wants us to submit to our husbands, we get that, trust me we do but what about the part that says husbands must love their wives with the same love Christ showed the church? How did Christ love the church? With compassion, mercy, forgiveness, respect, and selflessness.
[b]
You guys don’t get it do you?
You can’t treat your wife like crap and expect submission.
You can’t have little or no regard for her and expect submission.
You can’t demean her and expect submission[/b]It doesn’t matter if a woman is a CEO/CFO/President of a freaking continent all rolled in one, if she has a husband who loves her, respects her, someone she knows come rain come sunshine she can depend on him, she won’t have a problem with submitting to him.

Sadly, men think being the head means being a dictator, a tyrant who must rule with a heavy fist or he won't be a man. They think if their wives have a voice, she's disrespecting them.


Honestly, how sad is that. . . . to have something as little as your wife making more money, having an opinion or not needing you as much as you want her to, destabilize your entire sense of self? Oh my God! Now I feel sorry for men! Gah! No cool, at all. . . the last thing I want to feel for guys is pity.

sounds like sermon from the pulpit

Baxilexi:
@agaba, i f you were given the position of the  NAFDAC head, would you have done, what mrs akunyili is doin or would have behaved like the male bum that was there before, take for example this

thread again they are more guys on it than ladies right. not just any type of guys but educated ones, so using this stats it tells you that the ratio of an

educated woman to a man is like 3:9,

you see all that is being said is the same way women want to have a taste of the top so do men want to remain on top.

@hch, ashewooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

trust me, I will not behave like that man. Ask those who know me. Anyway that's by the way.  Remember I did not say all women will do that. I said if a woman can get it done, why not let her do it. After all Ette is also a woman isn't she.

rubi:
You are a real man. God bless you

rubi:
Nobody is disputing the fact but don't let men take women's submittion be taken for granted or as a weak point

Those who take it as a weak point are those who will go looking for weaklings and keep them from being empowered.
Real men will like to say that's my hubby in that ferrari that just drove past, she is a financial consultant with citigroup.

onyinye2:
[bmy own personal poison.

lol

onyinye2:
So any one of you men can answer this. You wouldn't mind not all that your wife made more income then you do??
my own personal poison.

Why should I mind? Just like a woman coming first and you second in class. If you want to make more money, work harder. As far what you make is enough for you to fulfill your role as a husband and father, that's all you need.

Hannibal:
Most of the Nigerian guys abroad left Nigeria when they were graduates. . . .This means they left girl/fs and partners back home.
Is it not rational that they go back and marry their childhood chics??
I don't think this necessarily has anything to do with the attitude of the Nigerian girls abroad. . .
Y'all guys should SLOW DOWN.

Another angle to it

$$Rhino:
At home regardless who makes more money and better career and who has the job, the man is the man and will always be the head of the house.

Permit me to say 'gbam'

onyinye2:
(rolls eyes and sips drink)

Is it rum ?

Baxilexi:
i have realized something on this thread, its not like women are being oppressed by men it that women want to be the man, e.g. when the quest for

women liberization started the problem was the men did not recognise them.so jobs like teaching nursing receptionist ministry of women affairs and many others were created for the woman

later the men do not put them in top positions.

now they want equal rights as the man.
just so you know nigeria is alot better than most counties, take for example germany they have a kkk rule for women kuche(kitchen) kirche(church) and kinder(children) and japan their women are ristricted but the western woman wants everything down to having gonads

men have created more careers for women in the working ssectors of the economy.
the women should not expect to be privalant in all strata.

I beg to differ. Nothing stops a woman from being on top if she get my work done for me. What's the difference? Some are even more intelligent and more rugged than men. Take Akunyili for instance. A man was occupying that psot before she came.

The situation in career is different from the family situation.

chiogo:
Hmm, interesting! Take a look at the highlighted text. Since when did naija people start callin people before coming to their house? Matter of fact, very few Nigerians do! That is a western thing, which I think is a very good thing Cuz you just don't go to people's houses anytime you please. But I totally disagree with you that a woman has to call her husband to confirm whether or not to let the visitor in.

See, people cause problems for themselves and they go about blaming western culture. Look at it this way, if a woman's inlaws call to say they'd be visiting and the woman tells them that she has to get  back to them after she has asked her husband, the inlaws would most likely not believe that crap. They'd feel that she's being disrespectful to them, the people who raised her husband. They'd say so many horrible things about her, making the woman feel guilty. And guess what! Most of the time, the man rarely stands up to his parents and vouch for his wife.
Hence, she'll be portrayed a bad woman and the parents pressure the husband into leaving her. This is all due to your so-called submission. Now, my example is based on a Nigerian level anywayz but honestly, I think the situation u put forward can only occur if the woman is a house wife. That is exactly the points people have been making here- those naija men who prefer to go home to marry are INTIMIDATED! They want someone who'd be completely DEPENDENT on them.

If you get a man who cannot stand up for you, then you are in for it. I may blame you for that because such attribute always shows even before you say I do.
He will always ask his mama what's best to do instead of consulting you.

Abuseay:
hahaha sample, o my gosh, this is becoming something else, sampling ke no way!

ehen na sampling because they are not taking her for keeps

Queenisha:
LOL
The only solution is to marry her and leave her in Naija
You guys are funny.

leave her for other men to sample for you

$$Rhino:
I don't think that was a fair statement, how about saying 85% of our guys are yahooze boys or 419
my guys, we don't have to just talk for the sake of talking, get facts st8, 95% of ladies that i know are professionals

Thanks man
Last time I checked, I was told that Nigerians are the most educated group in the US. I don't think they get educated for nothing.

Baxilexi:
@sisiikill, a working woman is an asset and not a liability, where men really have a problem is when the pay gets into her head. and worse wjen he can supply all her needs

a working woman is an asset to her children because as far as I know, the man has a reponsibility of taking care of his wife and children even if the wife is a multimillionaire.

She can buy things for herself but that given to her by her husband is priceless

$$Rhino:
here is an example:
you are home and your husband isnt home and someone called that they want to come over, you ought to call your husband to make sure it is aiight first and you just don't go ahead and make such decision, because he is the head of the house.
You don't go around and just doing anything you feel like because you can afford it, because all decision ought to come via him.
please don't misunderstand me oh, if his reasonsing is not that good, like if he is such that don't even know how to take care of money, u cld help him out and still not that you will rub it to his face, but to complete him

A woman is supposed to be a help mate to her husband not a slave. So she has the right to advise and the man should consider her advice in whatever he does.  

Submission is knowing where to draw a line between your insisting on something being done somehow and your being stubborn. There are exceptions though . .eg. if your hubby turns an addict, you have to insist he quits the habit, the way you go about insisting  is another kettle of fish and that makes all the difference.

Ruby_Pearl:
LOL!
You're right, my laptop was kind of upside down.

sO WHAT IS YOUR POINT ANYWAYS?

You still do not get my point? I will have to organise a private session for you

bluehorizo:
I don't blame guys who go back to get married to the woman of their choice. When my cousin got married in 1987,her husband took her to the US to start a life. can you imagine that she later divorced this man after 3 kids because of her new found rights. What was her reason for divorce? She claimed she could not enjoy her marriage to him because he was always coming back late. Her husband is an aeronautical engineer who was doing everything to give her and the kids good life. What a shame. So i don't blame brothers who go back home. Though,there are still some women abroad who have not gotten influenced with the so called immorality and new found rights.

So what are u saying now? he went home and brought someone who divorced him later. Why did he go home then.

This is exactly the point I was making and someone was abusing me that I should keep the lady in nigeria and go home to pregnant her during yam festivals . . .lol
No point going back home. Everything is based on the individual. if get a girl who is reasonable here, that is better than going to get a time bomb that will finally explode after all

Ruby_Pearl:
Nonsense, please don't generalize.

A husband is not necessarily the Lord of the house. Wearing the pant does not mean he has to be tough/strict and irrespectable to his wife.

Btw, wcould you please expand on what you meant by "not man enough".

Why do people read my post upside down.

Did I say a the husband is the lord of the house?  No I did not.

Well in simple terms,  what I mean is that A girl who knows what it means to a friend to her husband is the ideal thing.

I meant that many girl were brought up in atmosphere where the man is the dictator and that becomes their own yardstick of measuring manness. If you have a relationship with them and treat like they are your equal, they will adjudge you as not being man enough based on what they experienced fronm their fathers.
Based on that I stated that I will prefer a girl brought up who is sensible. That does not mean that every girl brought up in naija is like that but many.

Please understand  my post before you call it nonsense honey.

I don't even think that women like it when their husband is not strong or even treat them as equal come to think of it. The 'naija girls' in particular will think you are not man enough cos all they learnt about marriage from their fathers is that the husband is the lord.

I will prefer a reasonable babe fom over here to anyone from naija any day because I need a friend and a companion not a slave. Most women like it when they have no say.

I heard of guy in Kaduna who would not discuss with his wife. His reason was that if he does the woman will take him as equal. Whenever he wanted to have a chat, he would go to a woman married to to another man.

The so called was loving it and was calling him her husband

Queenisha:
mba

you people should marry them and keep them in the village.
Go home annually at new yam to impregnate them
That way they remain pure and ever ready to serve
since coming to the west may corrupt their minds

Well you got me wrong there. may be you should have seen my other post before.

What I meant was that it makes nonsense going home to marry if the reason is that those born and bred here are bad. One will be better of with someone who is already 'spoilt' to the maximum because what you see is what you get.  ooo choochi

HCH3COO:
thank you sister.  that is the type of mentality missing in so many of the girls that are bred her, in my opinion.

But truth remains that some of those who come over from naija may still come and make friends with those born here and at the end of the day become worse.
an Igbo adage says that a a sheep that does not eat yam will learn to uproot the seed when it becomes buddies with yam eaters

madamkoko:
Yes, its a question of choosing to be compatible with someone. Yes, I agree with you.


BUT i think its intimidation, when it becomes a conscious decision when one purposefully opts not to date someone abroad just because they're abroad (at least try them out. give them a chance.) don't assume they're any less Nigerian,  ,  there's no difference in a WELL MANNERED, EDUCATed Niger babe abroad and a well mannered educated babe in Niger.  no difference. same lessons. same manners.

I agree with you. osufia went from Lagos to marry a girl from the village. He took the girl to a motel believing she was a virgin as she professed. On getting to the motel, Osufia asked for the first room, the girl objected 'the AC in that room is not good' , the second room, ' again, 'the bed has lost one leg' , the third room 'the shower is broken' . . . .well  it all depends on the individual not the place of the individual . . .

I guess it is safer to get someone who has seen it all here and is ready to settle down than to get someone who will come ove and will begin a new stage of experiments . . .

prof nno

Moyola:
I kant b d prison guard, y shuld i?

abi wtchu on about?

By that I meant the prison will be your house . . . that is the only way you can be a prison guard. You will have the key and make sure i do not see the light of the day without your permision

Moyola:
haha. . .
abeg commot jare

if u not careful u'll b sentenced!

Please go ahead and sentence me . . .just make sure you are prison guard. I will feel like I am in prison

Moyola:
Moyola-made law!!

haha that's hilarious. I really do like the law.

You have then to sentence me to imprisonment with you as the prison guard.

Moyola:
itz a crime in law!!!

Please xplain to me which law?

A prayerful lady is a lady who is prayerful

Moyola:
na crime o!

Abeg moyola, in where is it a crime please?

The bible teaches that when 2 or three pray, that their request will be granted.

Moyola:
haha

werin dey do u?

Nothing de do me. Just wanna help in the prayers, abi na crime?