₦airaland Forum

Berra warn em to gerrof my head and ma teeth meeen. I still hope to get married someday

Okay, I made the thread like we said, and you were'nt there and I got fed up and they started consoling and we all became buddies and all of a sudden it started raining blows and kicks on my head. I lost all ma teeth meeen, I have like giant sized bumps all around my head. But I got strong until I saw Iice's samurai sword, and I got scared and you came

Busy huh, if you go through the posts, you would see that of recent these girls take delight in beating me for no juust reason. Berra warn em or else? I know they your pals anyway

Hey, now everybody would wanna know wher you've been all these while

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, hooraaaaaay

Somebody save meeeeeeeeee

Okay like a samurai's sword. I hope no be my head you wan take test am oh. I go just turn to tortoise and code my head inside my shell. Told ya I got the antidote to all your moves

Me fear? I murdered fear last weekend. After yao minging my head, you no trip the way e take bounce back up, that Mike Tyson bite no remove any piece from my ear, and Jet Li leg plus Jackie Chan own no near my face as I use slow motion take spring back immediately you release them.

You, kill me, maybe it's that mosquito that's been whining around nairaland that you got girl. I'm still alive and kickin. But no worry, I no go kick you

_Rephrasing And what the hell is katana?

Who the hell is katana, softly punish polish am o

^{If you notice, I no dey throw my own punches oh, that's because as a gentleman, we no dey hit laydees}

I have been trained in defensive combat ^{gimme some more girl, you go lose stamina just now}

^{As I dodge the first punch} Mohammed Alli dancing style

^{Ducking below a follow up punch} I am a member of Sammy Peters technical team

Aaah ^{by mistake a left hook to my jaw, but I recover quickly to spring away from the knockout punch}

You no go see my body again ^{bouncing like on a trampoline} I still got many more where those came from

Una know wetin psychokinesis mean, it is mind over matter. I go transport myself physically from any blow when Iice go throw. If una like una beat me, beat ko blow ni.

I first tell una say breeze no dey catch fly. Na now I know, my master na Iice _{even if she is unaware .} Na she teach me the power of telekinesis and psychokinesis, abi Iice, that's why I help you raise your hand like you requested earlier. Una still wan beat me? Oya, make the action start. By the time I begin dey dissapear and reappear, one person must tire.

Muki, I for no mind your massage at all _{(big wide grin  )}, but I'd rather not have any lumps on my head or body this time around. And about my teeth, so you think say I still get teeth, because I no sue you for endangering my life. You don remove all my teeth before, e no get the one wey Iice for fit remove again. But like I said, basket no dey fit fetch water for stream. Now y'all see moi, now y'all don't

Come on Iice now, be nice. I have apologised for the horse shit and crowned you a queen. No need for disaster again okay, abeg ehn. Obulu obulu oh, that means "thank you very much" in my lingua.

Mukinatu, the only laydee in the gunners squad, ceremonial captain at the Emirates after Henry's departure. Anytime you dey come Naija, just tell me na Emirates you go fly first class courtesy of me girl. But please, no dey encourage this girl make she get am for mind to beat me again na?

I no wan unleash anything capable of causing a modern day cataclysmic plate tectonic upheavels You know we have been trained to be gentlemen and lovers, I keep emphasizing that, we don't fight girl, we try to put things right

Flatter? Who dey flatter, I dey hail all my African sisters you say I dey flatter. It just so happens that you are one of them. Person dey contemplate how to scatter my head I go begin flatter, ha, I burst into laughter cos una never know my master. Beat me again, you guys would be courting disaster

Bini people, how una dey? Okay, I go dey observe this thread small Cos I'm a son of the soil. We could invite people like Iice and Mukinatu and any other interested member of the land to come see the fabled ancient city someday, abi?

Muki Arsene Wenger Arsenal Gunners Emirates Fabregas, the one wey you do me recently I'm still recovering from, now you want Iice to do me a replication, na wa oh. If I had known, I for tell Tella make him no win the under 17 championship. Even una no dey believe my words again .

I no say I still be alter boy, but in my years of small pikinhood, I was an alterboy meeen, na we don serve over a century of masses right from my pre-worldly years. But thank goodness, we have transcended that world of worldliness, how else can one apply himself or herself to achieve the powers of psychokinesis.

Muki, you know that for Everest to actually walk to London is really not an impossibility? And Iice, you no be horse my dear, you're a Nubian queen with royal blood from of old so with all my African sisters

Oh blimey, did I make you think dirty, sorry my mistake. I should've known your mind would maybe stray over there. I only meant the ride as in literarily and not as in what your mind was was making you to think that my mind was thinking when I said the word oh, abeg oh. I be alter boy before oh, my thoughts and words are as clean as a surgeons theatre oh. 

Many apologies, sincerely from the bottom of my mind

Muki, I have know you finish, is not Arsenal we own, I am trip for gunners even as they will gun any other team down. We is win the under 17 so him should select his squad. Muki is goalkeeper and captain and premiership is we own and me and Muki is become friend foreverrrrrrr

Iice is busy eating, no freezing just yet because any agbanicious or lepalistic thing is a thoroughbred something hot thing, now I know why Johnny is tripping . If to say IIce be horse, she should be the one that anyone would want to ride _{(thats what I mean)}

Muki girl, nothing much. Just getting some enlightenment on the body physique of Iice. It's good to know that she no be orobo (seeing that she likes food so much) as she don confirm say she be pure thoroughbred.

I hope Arsene Wenger go recruit all our Under 17 guys to prosecute Arsenal challenge for the premiership crown this season?

No, I'm just a lil bit concerned. I always had this Agbanicious looking picture of you in my minds eye, you know what too much food does to the system, it increases the orobolistic ratio of weight (if you know what I mean)

And with this your new found power of psychokinesis, all those foodstuff when dey for Lagos markets are at high risk of being transported to your private silos, I no want us to experience any kind of food shortage due to your insatiable appetite to consume and masticate anything digestable.

This girl self, you like food sha

Yaaaaaaaaaaay, up Nigeria, up golden eaglets. The boys them try no be small, congratulations one and all

Talking about births, my old school pal girlfriend/wife just put to bed and him say make I be the baby godfather. Na friday them wan do the ceremony. So I dey invite all of una make una come chop goat meat peppersoup and isi-ewu for the B'side this Friday. And by the way, this na my second god son so I don get small experience for the godfather business.

Meanwhile, my mama say make I do make I become real father _{ha ha ha ha ha ha ha}

And Iice, psychokinesis is some real deep shit, my hands are up there with your's, I am sure I can see Muki's hands up there too

Mmmm, strong I can understand, but "casual Intimacy"? I guess you should have to clarify that with your definition girl

Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow, Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow

Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow, Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow

Muki, Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow, Muki, Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow

Lovemajek, Muki, Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow, Lovemajek, Muki, Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow

Johnny, Lovemajek, Muki, Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow, Johnny, Lovemajek, Muki, Iice and Ajadrage went to mow went to mow a meadow

^{That is the next big hit that y'all gonna hear on the airwaves}

If you grab the concept, you can add names of people you want to accompany us in this lawn mowing exercise because the meadow is so overgrown with weed meeen

I hope the brother appreciate you oh, this one when you dey describe am so in superlatives. You know say we some of us no good

Cool So you got one, naim all those wannabe loverboys dey attempt to toast. Where is Mellow and all the rest of them. Tell them oh, help me warn dem oh. I do not condone any asunder in any union as I will descend my thunder upon them. So they berra leave you alone and stop calling your phone.

Johnny must be a very lucky guy, he must be cool to be able to stand your chill girl

Ehen, true true Iice, I wan ask you oh. Who be Johnny?

Ha ha ha, no worry about if na blows or caresses. Me and Muki don settle since I turn Arsenal fan, she say she no go beat me again but I doubt if she go baff me sha as I think that would be asking too much

niceuzor:
jerrymania - The Oba of Benin have Spoken!!!!

Supported!!!

Mr. Niceuzor, I have never been known to be confrontational in the nairaland space and I have come across a lot of annoying and downright offensive shit in here and I do my best to either keep quiet or just totally ignore because I do not want to be associated with petty bickerings and stuff like that. I believe we're all here to catch some fun and I do know that we each try to do our bit. But atimes there are issues that one cannot totally disregard and for the avoidance of a reoccurence, it is neccessary to clear the air on such issues.

The above quote by you I must say smacks of outright disrespect for the institution and sanctity of the monarchy in Benin. A legacy that has been in existence for over a thousand. Do not misconstrue this to mean that I am tribal or ethno inclined, far from it. All I am saying is that there should be a line drawn between fun, pun and tradition. I do not know the history of your contributions to nairaland, but please, could you kindly desist from toying with the name and institution of the Oba of Benin. What you might regard as fun touches a very raw nerve in the consciousness of a lot of people and though most might not see this and thus might say nothing about it, but I have seen this and I appeal to your good conscience to not let it repeat itself, for fun or otherwise.

I hope you will understand me and not take offence at this. We are Nigerians and Africans and we believe in the sanctity of tradition. I am quite sure you will not take kindly to someone making fun of your traditional institution/ruler.

Whatever contribution you make on this thread should be what should make someone want to come back

Sorry, what's a BTW?

May I ask who Ehimela is? No need to answer if you don't wanna