Let him see a doctor. He can examine him to know what stage it is and know what is best for him.

Hilarious! .Maybe they have V V F.

@skidoc.Yeah, thats too bad cos am one of his critics. But that doesnt mean I dont appreciate the good work he's doing on nairaland. People will always disagree and have different opinions about stuff, hating is not the answer Mr. Admin.

Johnny, I can see from your foot note that you're a believer so all I can say to you is " do not be ignorant of the devices of the devil". Has it occured to you that that family may have spiritual issues? Because I dont think its normal for a mother to chase her daughter's ex. They might be trying to rope you into something evil, or maybe am just been paranoid.

Mines Dee-dee

My dear, life is about tommorrow and not yesterday. If you want to have a life then look ahead and not behind. What really is your problem because you do sound confused. I'm not been mean cause i've been in your same shoes and I just dont get what you're confused about. If you think your baby's daddy is not ideal for you why are you crying over him? You obviously want a loving, caring and responsible man, but your ex is none of those things so why are you even giving it a thought?
If you love your son die, take charge of your life and forget your ex for now. Begin to take care of yourself and your child and stop making him go through all this. There is no way you're whining and confusion will not affect your kid-i know what am talking anout. Change your attitude to life and love and move ahead with your life.
Also, your ex doesnt have to apologise to your parents for anything. HE didnt wrong them, YOU did. So dont expect him to apologise to them. He can only do that if he wants to and he obviouly doesnt, so dont even kill yourself over that.
Take charge of your life and move ahead and you'll find someone who loves you for you and is willing to accept your child like I did.

Well, I can confidently say that my husband has not cheated on me since we got married.

Yes, it could actually be early signals of pile. I've got pile and its really terribly painful. I'm just waiting for my miraculous healing because I dont know if it can be cured except through surgery. You can only manage it by watching what you eat. Let him avoid very solid foods like yam, bread etc and too much sugar thingys. He should take lots of fruits and vegetables too. So his stool wont be too hard. He also has to avoid his stool been too watery cause that can aggrevate it too. Good luck to him. If this is just the early stage and the pile isnt sticking out yet, then he can save himself alot of trouble by watching his diet.

Wishfull thinking on his part, he can never rule Nigeria. If thats his dream, then I guess he's living in a nightmare!

Ok KAG, Hope you find the answers you need.

Ebuka, voted? By whom, do you think?

Mr. KAG, sorry to say,you really sound confused. You cant be atheist and christian at the same time. Maybe you need to go back and check the meanings of both words in your dictionary again.

Thank you madam.

I wander why we all cant just worship our own prefered GOD and allow others to worship theres. God knows his own so lets all chill out and let it be.

@ono, well am not sure you were but if you were refering to me as per your statement on people been muslims, am not a muslim. Never have been and by the grace will never be.
Now back to the topic. You see, I am very well aware that my son will ask for his biological father some day and I am really for such an eventuality, even though there is still no qurantee that when my son decides to go look for his father, his father would want him to become part of his life. But I also know that right now his father doesnt want to be a part of his life(for reasons best known to him) and if such is the case with the scenario you posted earlier, why would you now want to send a kid to be tormented by someone who doesnt want him? Is it not better he stays were he can get love?
I am well aware of the fact that a time will come when peers might call my son a bastard, I feel absolutely guilty and dread that eventuality but which would be worse?To be called a bastard in a place where you can find love or in a place which is void of love? Just because a kid is with his father doesnt erase the fact that he is a bastard,if you want to consider the dictionary defination of the word.
I am a christian, and I know that know I sinned by having pre-marital sex, God had a reason for blessing me with a son. Afterall the Bible says that children are a blessing from God and the fruit of the womb is his reward.I know like ten couples seeking the fruit of the womb for the past years(not less than ten) but even in sin, God chose to bless me. I have since recived his forgiveness and gotten on with my life with my husband, son and daughter,I really don't need holier than though ono to come and try to put me and others like me down on nairaland forum. As a christian, youre words should be words of encouragement,not of judgement and "leaving matter for matthias".
For now my son is better off with me because I can give him all the stability he needs till God reveals other wise for his life.
And my husband is willing to help give him that stability. That as far as am concerned is better than someone sayiing he will forgive me of my past as if I sinned against a human being and not God. Na wa for some people sha.
And yes, I agree that blood is thicker than water, but believe me, water is PURER!

@dupsybaby, thanks jare for your comments.

Dump the guy straight! If you love me, you have to accept all my baggage cos am ready to accept yours. Though yours may not be your child, could be your mother or sisters or relatives. Infact, that doesnt even arise. If you cant accept my kid, bye bye!

@ono. Please try to put some reality in your comments. Everything doesnt have to be theory, try to be practical sometimes. What do you mean the mother should return the kid back to the father? Has it occured to you that in most cases the kid is with the mother because the father doesnt want to take responsibility for the child's upbringing? Has it occured to you that the mother might not know where the father is? If you really love the woman like you say you do, you will accept her child into your house without all those your circumstances or situations you're talking about.
And just so you know, it is very difficult for a mother to be seperated fro her child nomatter the age especially if the child has been with her all his/her life.
Personally, I think it would be rather selfish for you to expect a woman to give up her child for you. Any woman who even does that is not worthy of been a mother. I can never give up my son for my husband. My first child is not from my husband, he has always been with me and when I was getting married my husband accepted him into our house without putting any restrictions. I respect my husband for that. He has never told me to send Ibarahim to his father because I never married him. He accepted me with all the baggage because he loves me sincerely.

And to seun, big ups on your earlier comment.

Na soooo oh! Me, I just love to speeeeeend that cash!

Oh Ive seen that before and I agree completely with it.

good idea nawah! That would be sooo romantic too! Let it be a suprise, you know, dont tell her. Invite all your friends and family, the kids will be the ring bearers. Just get it all organised and take her to the venue. She would be soo thrilled. OMG, now I wanna make me cry!

Whats wrong with this blacknight sef? So it is Nigerian women that have low mentality when it comes to child bearing? I love children and wouldnt mind been a mother of ten but I know better. I love myself and would love to grow old to see my children's children's children! But I know that the chances of that happening will reduce the more children I have. I would also love to give my kids the best childhood they could get so I choose family planning.
Nigerian women are aware of the factors surrounding having too many children and alot of them are willing and ready to stop. But what can they do when there husband's dont want to do family planning? The last time I went for my family planning appointment, I saw a crying woman who came with her husband to the hospital. She was crying becos here husband brought her to get the method she used undone because according to him she wanted to be wayward by practicing family planning.
Also, Nigerian women are scared of there men going to impregnate another woman and that is why they keep having children to please such men. In present day Nigerian, you can never find a man that would agree to have family planning, it is always the woman's problem. When they could actually help matters by doing that thingy(cant really remember what its call-visectomy?) once and for all when they're done having children so they can forget about it and get on with thier lives.
Dont even start on that issue mister!

See what I mean? Now backnight has resorted to calling ruky names just cos she gave her opinion. Instead of explaining and getting her to see reason, he's calling her names. That only proves one thing to me, blacknight is not patient enough to handle a disabled person not to talk of her been his girlfriend. Am not sure what kind of compassion home you volunteer at but from your post I dont think you have what it takes to handle disabled people.

Why not get an adult to adopt on your behalf?

wow,nawah!Just seeing this today. Well. I thank God for your life and am glad youre not with him anymore. A friend of mine is going through the same thing. I havent spoken to her in about a year now cos shes not allowed to have a phone. She stays in Kaduna and here husband is a young pilot. He beats and theatens her almost on a daily bases from what her sister told me. Everyone in here family has told here to leave but shes in love with her husband so theyve all left her alone. Am so scared for here cos shes such a fragile angel, I always wander why any man would beat someone like her.
It all started after they got married and he found out she wasnt a virgin. Its so hard to believe he's a pilot who studied aboad. We were all envious when she met and married him a year after we left school. Now its a different story.
Sha I thank God youve left him and found someone who loves you for you. Just concentrate on loving those children and that good man too!

Mr.Blacknight, you really dont have to be on the defensive.
If I were to know an eligible disabled girl and also if I were to give you her details as in contact no and all. I would definately want to know more about you and why you specifically want a disabled girl cause I believe its very rare to find such a situation. People here are just suprised of your preferances and though its none of our business, you made it our business by asking on this forum.
Now youve told us that the reason you want a disabled girl is cos you think they will be more sincere, fine. But what is the guarantee that YOU are sincere? How do we know that you really mean what you say? Am not saying youre lying, but I think people on the forum have a right to voice out there opinions. You just have to try and convince them youre for real instead of been on the defensive. You brought your personal life into the forum so you have to accept the fact that people will have opinions.

And for your information, am happily married to a sincere,honest and able man. So am not jealous of anyone cos I concured with ruky who asked if you were a ritualist becos your case doesnt happen everyday.

Thank you!

@ruky. My thots exactly!

Thanks nawah, those are really kind words. Anyways, I know her spirit is with her creator. I just feel guity about ti sometimes.

Thanks ruky_ivy, it happened August last year,though I still hurt when I think about it, I dont cry that much anymore,

Thanks nawah! I keep feeling guilty about it, like if I had prayed harder I could have prevented it.

And thanks rhea, for deleting your post. That was rather thoughful. God bless!

Thanks seun, will check it out.My God! May you be delivered from such in the future!

OMG, I wish I could get my husband to come and share his recipes for indomie! He's a private person and has refused to join the forum. He makes the bestest best indomie in the world! Believe me!

Snazzy, nice recipe there and yes, minus the sardines !

Honestly, am very proud of this young Nigerian! It is good to see that we still have men of intergrity in this country. I cant say I would have done the same thing he did , but I thank God because he has lifted up the name of the God he serves. This is a testimony!

Very intelligent response there pearl2. Lots of insights in your post there.

I am not an advocate for divorce, but I hope youre not still leaving in his house! Thats some mean sh*t! Military men sha.