₦airaland Forum

There is another life after wedding, which stands to be the ultimate purpose of the Union. Wedding is like buying a ticket to an unknown destination.
You may have the idea of where your going but you don't know your bus stop...
Having an idea of your destination, does not guarantee the success of your journey...just an eye speck
Life after wedding is the beginning of marriage...in fact, your life has just begun.
45 Mins reception will not determine the success or failure of your time journey...
We spend much time preparing for wedding activities but less time for the life after it. Very pathetic!

The excitement of this journey has made many of us lose focus, direction and finally sense of reasoning.

√ All we want is for "better for better" not even for worst.
√ In health not in sickness...
√ In Rang Rover not in keke...
√ In Duplex not in Face me I Face you.
√ In Sugar not in bitterness...
√ In eating not in working....
√ In Wealth not in poverty
√ In US not in Africa. ...
√ In hurry not in patience. ..

We want marriage made easy..."I cannor coman be suffering, who suffering epp? "

Life after wedding is a life of collective responsibility and self determination. It can come with anything....
Remember that life itself isn't a bed of roses.

WAY OUT......WAY OUT.....WAY OUT...

√ Marry your friend, he / she will make the journey easier for you..
√ It's a Journey of endurance and patience, so don't think everything is gonna be easy..
√ Don't copy anybody's marriage, know your partner and apply his/ her code..
N/B: don't be envious of someone's marriage, for you know no where it may stinging them. Concentrate more on making yours enjoyable.
√ Don't behave like the five foolish Vrgins, make sure you have enough oil ( information and wisdom) (Matt 25: 1-13)
√ In this Journey there is no one means of transportation.. The most important thing is to get your destination. ( there is no need to rush)
√ Have it at the back of your mind that some of those things that attracted you to him/ her will gradually lose its beauty... ( Nothing stands forever)
√ The truth is that marriage is for better and for worse.
( Nobody prays for divorce but it seems to be happening more often than marriage itself)
√ There is no journey without a pilot, Captain or driver. If you don't have GOD in this journey, you have no destination...

Marry your friend...
Marry your play mate..
Marry your gossip mate..
Don't marry because of today, look into the future and make choice for its fulfillment

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Thank you

Plead:
Yahoo boys and girls.

HK: hustling kingdom

Ah! You're right. But the system would not allow an outsider to win an election in the first place.
For me there are 2 ways to achieve restructuring. We put enough pressure on the current ruling party(APC or PDP) to force their hand or the Nigerian army takes over and begins the process.

The reason I am shouting here on nairaland and also in real life, is because too many Nigerians like you, are stuck on the messiah complex. Too many Nigerians believe all we need is a good a leader that would emerge from the ballot. Unfortunately, there is no messiah, there never would be. So I am shouting it to let Nigerians know that we can have the country of our dreams if we restructure and put power in the hands of the federating units of Nigeria.

Already the SW governors forum have made mention of something similar with the 6 geopolitical zones they are presenting to the constitutional review process. How sincere they are is yet to be seen.

I am shouting so that more Nigerians would call for restructuring and shun things like youth president, affirmative action, female president, Igbo president, SW president etc, which are all tricks that politicians use to confuse us.

Imolastborn99:
shouting on nairaland won't restructure Nigeria, voting someone who would most likely can, would

this is not what we need. We need to restructure Nigeria!

Please what is HK boys and girls?

crackhaus:
I don't think anyone here has disputed the above.
The issue is about prostitution and the women who engage in it.

Is it men that have been in charge and should be held responsible for the state of the country? Yes!

Is it men that should be held responsible when girls/women sell their bodies through prostitution? Absolutely not!

If we start excusing every vice and blaming it on poverty, then we might as well not blame anyone for doing whatever they have decide to do in order to earn their daily bread.
Ritualists, kidnappers, HK boys & girls, prostitution, armed robbery, etc. None of this is the fault of those who indulge in them.

While growing I had never heard or seen my mum visit any man that is her acquaintance without my father accompanying her. Neither has any man come to visit my mum without his wife accompanying him. The same goes for my father.

We have a thing or two to learn from our parents and grand parents regarding the proper behaviour married men and women should exhibit.

Avoid trouble, let sleeping dogs lie. Don't put your marriage in jeopardy because you want to visit a man, go with your husband, go with your wife.

It sounds like a made up story.

But let us say it isn't. Why haven't you taken this matter to his parents? Why haven't you taken this matter to God?

NgoziLovelyn:
If this is what it means to cheat on my husband, then I will do it again.

Sometimes it's not usually a good idea to judge people because, you don't know what made them do whatever they do.

I am married to a man who cares less on how his wife is faring.
All his attention is towards his children. We have only 3 kids, and I am appreciating him for taking care of them, but what about me?
Not that I'm asking for too much, but what about me?
Not that I haven't tried searching for work, I have, but hey, luck wasn't so shining on my side.

So I decided to give up, because my husband is not poor. He is comfortable and capable of taking care of me and the kids, but yet, he is not considering me worthy of eating his money.
And not only that, he hardly touches me. He doesn't enjoy me anymore. I have tried talking it out with him, asking him what the problem was and why he doesn't like sleeping with me anymore, but he said nothing. I asked him, if he doesn't love me anymore, and he asked me what gave me such idea that he doesn't love me anymore, that no matter what, I'm still the mother of his wonderful kids.

Yet, he still never changed and it kept on worrying me. And if I refuse to act fast, my marriage is going to collapse. I don't want that to happen because of my kids. I want them to have their both parents, living together while they grow up.

Most times, the thought that he may be cheating on me creeps in. That he is spending the money he is supposed to be spending on me on another woman. Though he hasn't given me reasons to suspect him, but why is he treating me as if I mean nothing to him? The only way I see money is only if I go to the market to buy stuffs. Because, I usually double the prices of items. He doesn't raise brow on how ridiculous the prices look, he will still give me the money without amending any of them.

I am his wife, I can't continue living this way. I needed someone I can talk to. Someone he listens to. So a better person who I believe fit in that position came to my mind.
His best friend, Eedris, who is also his childhood friend. They are into the same business and does virtually everything together.
Eedris is like a brother to him. He honours the friendship they share.

So I picked my phone and called Eedris, explaining what I was going through and requested to see him, so I can explain better, so he can proffer a possible solution on how to turn my husband's attention back to me.

My narration sounded surprise to him, saying that, my husband never mentioned about not being happy with the marriage. He asked me if I was sure of what I was saying, and I replied yes.

So I requested to see him, that it would be better for him to me face to face, so he can understand my pains and help me talk to my husband.
And he said, ok, that he is at home, that I can come over, if I'm not busy at that moment.
So, I told him that, there was nothing more important than, saving my marriage, and that he is the only one I believe that can help me talk to my husband.

So, 2 hours later, I was at his home. Eedris was dumbfounded on how much I was enduring. He gave me all his ears, listening to my worries. I was completely drowned in emotions.
Because, as I was talking to him, my mind deepened, remembering some parts I have already forgotten.

Eedris really felt my pains and then came close to hold me, to calm me down. So I slowly dived into his arms and felt warmth instantly. His soft gentle perfume graced my nostrils. I pushed my body closer into his arm. The comfort was too mesmerising.
I have been longing to feel this way, but my husband is not giving it to me. I yearned, craved for it, he still saw it fit to starve me. What's my crime? He doesn't want to say. The only thing he could tell me, was that, our marriage is good, that he doesn't have any problems with me.
I don't know if Eedris also felt what I was feeling. He supported me by cuping his arms well tight. I don't know if it was just to make me feel better, or he was having some feelings for me. In other to find out, I decided to look into his face.
As I looked at his face, our eyes clicked.
He gave me this warm look, that was signaling me an invite into his heart.
I moved my face bit closer, almost into his and the next second, we got lost at the moment.
Our lips joined, kissing the hell out of of each other.
Everything happened so fast. Before we could know what was happening, we already made love.
My emotional eruption made me loose guard, that I didn't know when everything happened.
The only thing that was tickling my mind, was the beautiful feeling I was experiencing then.
After the passionate moment, Eedris began apologising, that he was sorry, that he didn't know how it all happened. That he saw himself feeling bad for me and drawing to my emotions, that he didn't know how he lost control. That his intentions was to make me feel better and not to do anything with me.
But I felt better. I'm not regretting what we did.
He asked if I was sure, and I said yes.
He felt glad and held me again, drew me to his arms, and hugged me so passionately, and said that, I deserve to be happy. And also promised to help me talk my husband, that he will make him change for the better.
But he was shocked at the response I gave him.

Continue below to read the final part

Ngozilovelyn.com

What is nice about it?

Siwisheswereesh:
Nice one!

What is good about it?

Simplyleo:
Okay.

Good one from Lagos state Governmen.

hunter21:
This expensive cars

Cars are expensive. Especially brand new ones. 95% of cars in Nigeria were bought second hand, so their price is not the same as brand new ones.

You're the one deceiving yourself

You need to see a dermatologist

TinkTwice:
Me sef I don use hydraulic. Baba, e no work anything..
I dey see am say d thing just dey inside my skin.. E no dey outside.. Like... I no just know, I just tire

Look for a dermatologist

Restructuring!! Restructuring!!!

Congratulations to him, and happy married life to him and his wives.

Federico Chiesa is a demon. I only watch Juventus match highlights, but even from the highlights you can tell that guy can ball. He proved it with his performances for Italy at this Euros.

PlayMaker14:
Players that really caught my attention with their blistering performance are;

1. Kasper Schiemichel
2. Cesar Azpilecueta
3. Spinnazola
4. Chiellini
5. Locatelli
6. Chiesa
7. Thorgan Hazard
8. Darmsgard
9. Patrick Schick
10. Pedri
11. Mephis Depay.
12. Declan Rice.
13. Kasper Dolberg.
14. Vestergard

Do what you have to do, to win

emmabest2000:
Describe thie picture below with two words

I don't think it was his intention to kill his brother. Its just sad.

This is why I am always against men acting on emotion especially where women are concerned. Sometimes you would hear some men say things like, "omo if you touch my sister or girlfriend i go beat you or I go gather boys beat you", do such men ever stop to think what would happen if the man they gang up to beat ends up dead?
It is good to defend your sister(s) or girlfriend(s) or wives. But defend them in a reasonable manner, don't do it on emotion because it can turn into something else.

Pansophist is still very active.

Martinez39s:
I miss Luminouz and GLYCOLYSISS as well. Pansophist my gee has disappeared. In this nairaland, people come and go. Even I will disappear after tomorrow. Career duty calls. I am just using my remaining time to have fun. I will still be visiting but it will be rare and passive.

We need more of this. Well done.

Okay, my mistake then. Are you Bini?
What happens if the Oba has no son?

UGBE634:
There are NO ruling "families"it it is only a ruling family, "ONE LINE" direct primogeniture from father to son it can't be tampered with awa! The Oba of Benin is a diety

About that 1998 suspension, I would try and look into it.

Obaseki can't replace the Oba of Benin even if he was dead.
Again the Oba of Benin stool is not an appointed position. There are ruling families who inherit it.

I know this because I had a neighbour here, who is a Bini man, I also have a close friend of mine who is also Bini we have spoken about the authority of the Oba of Benin. I was made to understand no one plays around with the Oba. Be you governor or president.

Anyway, Lets not digress too far from the topic. I believe, Obaseki should leave the custodian of Benin culture that is the Oba of Benin, to decide where to house the cultural artefacts of the Bini people.
Obaseki should concentrate on governance.

tishbite41:
Oga was suspended in1998.

The only thing you can say is that Obaseki cannot replace him while he's alive.

Obaseki can only displace him but not without repercussions.

Lol. It's only men that are jobless that go about preventing their sisters from dating their friends.

As far as I am concerned, no brother has control over his sister(s). The best any well meaning brother should do is, to advice his sister about the type of guy she is about to date. If the sister wants to take his advice fine, if not, still fine.

If I want to date my friend's sister, I would go ahead and ask her out. I would not take permission from him.
If he says I can't date his sister for whatever reason, I'll tell him to go and drink his toilet water, he can't tell me who to date and not to date.

Some men just appoint themselves the alpha and Omega when it comes to women.

I wonder how they would feel if their elder sister starts telling them which of her friends they should date or not date. I'm sure no guy would accept such nonsense. So if a man wouldn't accept his elder or even younger sister preventing him from dating one of her friends why should a lady accept it?

This blame game has now taken a different route, it is now gender that is the cause of Nigeria's problems

I have always admonished Nigerians to stop blaming religion, tribe or corrupt politicians for the problems we face, but rather blame the unitary system that we are practicing.

Now Gerrard59 has switched from blaming religion, tribe or corrupt politicians to blaming a gender. Oga Gerrard59, please it is the unitary system of government that is to blame, the countries you mentioned implemented systems of govt that suits them and helps bring about development.

So rather than apportioning blame on corrupt politicians, tribe, religion and now gender, why not blame the system, and join the calls for restructuring and true federalism?

Gerrard59:
https://www.nairaland.com/6640379/enugu-young-girls-offer-bodies

Sequel to the above thread, it shows the severity of poverty in Nigeria which cuts across all geopolitical zones (Nigeria is not the world’s poverty capital for nothing). However, for Nigerian women to indulge in prostitution as a means to eat/survive, it tells us one thing – Nigerian men have failed their women.


All over the developed world, it is the men not women who made those societies what they are. Whether South Korea, Malaysia, Uruguay, Singapore, Canada etc., the men made them work. Meanwhile, Nigeria – most populous Black Country globally – has her women selling their bodies for basic items such as what to eat and where to sleep. I would not delve into this malaise as a racial one as I do not know how it is for black women in Kenya, Angola, Brazil or the US but the quality of life women enjoy depend on the level of sophistication their men have built their societies into. This is something Nigerian men have failed at and specifically, those above 40 years. These men failed, woefully, to create a society that is functioning, orderly, prosperous, safe and enjoyable for their women. Even for societies that are adjudged as not gender friendly for women (South Korea, UAE and Japan), their women live way more prosperous lives than their Nigerian counterparts.


We have many Nigerian women trading their bodies in Italy, the UAE and parts of Europe but we don’t have similar or even half the proportion of European ladies doing same in Nigeria. How many Italian women have you see in Allen Avenue or any red-light district in Nigeria? How many South Korean women have you seen selling their bodies in Nigeria? How many Singaporean ladies have you seen/read travel to Nigeria to “hustle”? I am an ardent reader of Singaporean news and not once have I read that Singaporean ladies sell their bodies to pay school fees, to eat or get a job but these things are rampant in Nigeria because unlike Singapore where the likes of Lee Kuan Yew and Co built a prosperous society for them to thrive, Nigerian men of same generation ruined the country. Worse still, their successors exacerbated these issues through wanton corruption and rife ethnic bigotry compared to Lee’s successors who doubled down on his achievements by diversifying Singapore’s economy thereby generating more jobs for their citizens. Same in Japan where women constitute a larger proportion of luxury goods’ consumers because their men have created a prosperous place for them to be able to afford those products. Women of the world's poverty capital can only dream of being major consumers of luxury goods.

Oga let me ask you, are you from Benin? If no. Let me ask again, do you have friends that are from Benin, that is the Bini people? please ask them if Obaseki or even Buhari can play around with the Oba of Benin stool.

Kano is not Benin.

badoh:
Oga forget that. If the Oba is dethroned, will you volunteer yourself to go out and protest? As sensitive as Kano is, was the Emir not dethroned? Even during Abacha era, did he not dethrone an Emir? If the Oba is dethrone today, bros nothing go happen.

If Obaseki is a governor that is concerned with governing, he wouldn't have time to dragging where the cultural artefacts of the Bini people would be housed.
He would leave it in the hands of the rightful custodians.

Why can't you make your comment without being insulting?

Edo State is not Benin. Therefore those artefacts aren't the property of Edo State. It is the property of the people of Bini. When those artefacts were taken from Benin, was there an Edo State, was there a Nigeria? The answer is no.
Was there a Benin monarchy? The answer is yes. The Benin monarchy is the custodian of Benin culture.

You can't compare the Benin monarchy with the British monarchy, they're not the same.

temitope27:
shut up how can he do that, is the state property, British museum is own by government my British monarch

Well said.

Mikecold:
You missed the part where the oba has set up the palace trust to run it

The government should appeal to have a team in it to supervise

There is no way a governor going in the next three years should use a private musuem to run Edo collective heritage

We all know how private stuffs work when the governor initiating it leaves, it is later you get to know it belongs to the governor and their are bureaucracy in the private firm signed by the government that can't be overruled later

Why not give it to the custodian of bini culture whose palace would remain irrespective of government

Then you can work out a team to be in the palace trust