₦airaland Forum

Stoned!

[quote author=WAM?]Love it ! Especially the first page- Barney goes to Africa , it's not funny when your next, horror movie with the chicken - made my night :-)[/quote]'Barney goes to Africa' made me laugh for over an hour, infact its on my DP right now

Some people have gone to bed . Keep the pictures coming na

OMG!!!!!!! now this is the kind of thread i'd like to view after a long and stresful day

I reply with "really? Nice to know"

women tend to look older than their age especially after having about 2 or 3 kids. My 40yrs old uncle married a 25yrs old lady and trust me,u'd barely notice the 15yrs gap between them.

in other words i wont't advice a girl to marry a guy younger than him because after 3kids, u'd look like your hubby's aunt

esere826: when I was very young, I felt it was silly for a girl to date someone much older than herself (max 2 years older). Anything younger was acceptable
As I grew older , I felt it was silly for a girl to date anyone more than 7 years older than her. Anything younger was acceptable

At my present age, I now feel it is silly for a girl to date anyone more than 16 years older than her. Anything younger is acceptable
When I'm in my 70's, I suspect I would feel it is silly for a girl to date a guy more than 40 years older than her. Anything younger would be acceptable

Umh........
Just musing

musing?......or jonzing?

MsDarkSkin: ^^^^ she's the hottest so far!

2 things are involved : it's either you're kidding or you're blind and i think its the later

You could have simply said 300k. Not everyone understands what N.3m means

No offense!

Akbee: Wetin man no go hear for planet earth?just hed dat a man married a pillow some days ago.this is just anoda blockbustter,entirely bizarre.
Thanx goodness for im not a victim of this belief and will never hold unto one that does not correspond with the Bible.its my opinion that some of my felow nairalanders have fallen victims of this prediction which i know will neva come to past.
The world will surely end but not according to the mayan prophecy.only God knows wen the world will come to an abrupt end.HE hasnt revealed this secret to his only begotten son nor any of the angels.

What if He has revealed the secret, and it says the world will actually end dec 21st?? You wouldn't know, would you?

I don't believe any of that crap though, I still have many years ahead of me

What if the whole "rumour" turn out to be true?

Just Asking....

did you say a demon in long dress? and you're still considering who to choose?
Enter a boutique and buy as much decent dresses for girl A as possible

Phew!!!!! Wake up call

[quote author=190-the-clown]

Am classy myself so I always go for the-classy ones [/quote]Good!

Kylexb: Gud 1 there..but this wont work for crazy nigerian girls who treat guys like moroons.....
Am dating a gal that her hands are intact..so why will i do the door opening?..huh?

Are you a learner?

[quote author=190-the-clown]These are not meant 4 Nigerian girls
Cos all that Nigerian girls care about is your 6digit account balance
And FX 45 infinity Jeep [/quote]That's probably because you won't keep your eyes off flashy girls that are obsessed with clutch designer bags, shoes, and brazillian hair etc.

It's hard not to look at them twice when you see them, and you definitely have to keep up with all that when you eventually start dating one.

Try dating the more decent yet classy ones for a change

[quote author=acidosis™]If I try the rules on you, can I have you on bed ?
#no offence[/quote]Lol smooth...
and they still wonder why Nigerian girls like playing hard to get
But warning.....you might fall in Love with me

[quote author=acidosis™]Yes, I don't need to rob a bank or crack my head to be romantic.. One thing I believe is, the fact that something worked for A doesn't guarantee the same efficacy for B

Let me give you this fact, what you typed up there is good enough to get a woman on bed, not on the altar..[/quote]What i typed is good enough to get a woman........wether you take her to bed or the alter all lies in your hand

saintvc: Only aplicable 4 oyibo girl. Rules dont work for nigeria girls

I beg to disagree with you. A lot of nigerian girls want real relationships without games, and believe me these 'rules' do work for them also. But because our dear nigerian men already have this bad impression as a result of few salty encounters they've had, the good ones are also suffering

[quote author=acidosis™]So a man is REAL because he opens the door of his car for you to sit

You need to watch more of nollywood movies to see the end and motives of emeka ike, nonso et al., despite jumping helter-skelter around their cars like a BRT conductor..[/quote]LMAO!!! Guy calm down. it's simply called GESTURES.......and loads of REAL men do it

[quote author=acidosis™]I'll read it after my wedding celebration.

I'll never kill myself reading journals and textbook to get a woman to date/marry. If I love you, I'll simply let you know...if perhaps I get a YES....then you'll discover the man in him...

..if this is what it takes (cracking different fake lines written by people with failed marriages, divorcees, desperate bloggers with countless exes) to get a "descent & marriageable lady", then I'll have to travel down to my village.[/quote]That's exactly our problem, having a negative attitude towards something even before we start. Relationships and marriages don't fail over night if one or both of the partners are ready to try and keep trying new things to keep them going. Nobody is asking you to kill yourself but trust me if you and your woman just sit there expecting the other person to make the first move, then the relationship would just go sour and you'd be right back from where you started. There's no harm in being romantic honey, and you don't have to rob a bank to be that

chyseth: i will read ur epistle tomorrow then i can tell u what i derived.

Epistle.......lol!!! How typical

For my dear male nairalanders who keep complaining about ladies playing hard to get, maybe you actually need to review the way you approach and treat them. That way you might get a YES in no time . Came across this and thought i might share...... Most of you obviously don't like reading long notes but please be patient, i'm sure it would be worth it

You don’t have to be loaded or look like Bradley Cooper to successfully reel in women. We polled chick magnets(guys) across the country for their rules of attraction. And we must say, these guys have some secrets worth stealing. Learn first-hand from the masters how to make the ladies swoon:


TELL HER HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS (IN AN UNEXPECTED WAY)
“I’ve found that women love getting compliments on their appearance. I always pick one aspect of how she looks and comment on why I think it’s fantastic. I try to be specific so she feels it’s genuine and not just an attempt to score points (even though that’s sort of what it sometimes is!). Instead of saying something general, like ‘You look nice,’ I might say, ‘I really like your earrings; that shade of blue matches your eyes’ or ‘I love those boots; they make your legs look incredible.’ Women are amazed that I pay that kind of attention and they’re always appreciative.”
– Thom, 37, actor

BE SPONTANEOUS
“One thing women always comment on is that I’m a spontaneous, take-charge kind of guy — and they really like that. If I’m out on a first date and a woman mentions how she used to go bowling a lot when she was a kid, I’ll say, ‘So let’s go bowling right after we finish our dessert.’ Or if it’s winter and the mood strikes, I’ll drive a date to the beach, just to look at the water. I think women like a man who isn’t afraid to act on impulse and do things that really make you enjoy life.”
– Brian, 39

LET HER TALK ABOUT HERSELF AS MUCH AS SHE LIKES
“Most people love talking about themselves, so when I first meet a woman I’m interested in, I’ll ask questions so that she’s doing most of the talking. Not only does it make her happy, but it’s a great way to get to know her — everyone wins! I usually ask about her childhood first: Where did she grow up? Did she like it? What did her parents do? And then I’ll ask questions about her present job, apartment and her goals for the future. Women are drawn to me because it’s clear I’m not just drawn to them for their looks.”
– Danny, 34, graduate student

LAY ON THE CHARM, BUT IN A RELAXED AND HUMOROUS WAY
“In my experience, I get a lot more dates than my friends because I flirt — a lot. I think dating should be a fun, playful experience. So I’m not afraid to approach a woman, but before I launch into a corny pick-up line, I’ll say: ‘Promise me I get a do-over if you hate this opening line.’ Or I’ll go over to an attractive woman and ask her, ‘What’s it like being the prettiest lady in this room?’ I have to say, I think my relaxed, joke-y way of approaching women really works.”
– Tom, 42, architect

PLAN AN UNEXPECTED (BUT FUN) FIRST DATE
“I always try to take a woman on a really different first date — one that will show her that I’m a spontaneous, up-for-anything person. I shy away from the typical dinner or movie options and instead choose something that’s different and cool, yet still within her comfort zone. I can’t say it’s always cheap or easy, but I like the creative challenge of coming up with something memorable and romantic. I’ve arranged for a private, at-home cooking lesson with a chef from one of my favorite restaurants, scheduled a rooftop massage for two and even once took a woman on a helicopter ride over the city. I want her to feel like she’ll always have fun if she continues to see me. And the strategy has been working, knock wood.”
– Michael, 33

MAINTAIN MEANINGFUL EYE CONTACT WITH HER
“When I am with a woman — whether I am talking to her, dancing with her, or eating with her — I make as much eye contact as possible. Not in a creepy way, but in a way that communicates, ‘I am paying attention to you and am genuinely interested in being here with you.’ Essentially, you want to convey that you only have eyes for her, no pun intended. Nothing makes a woman feel more insecure than a guy with whose eyes are darting around the room. I find women respond to this and really open up.”
– Oliver, 33, lawyer

BE TRUE TO YOUR WORD
“Contrary to what you see in the movies and on TV, I think it’s always best to call a woman when you say you are going to call and not play stupid waiting games. What’s that all about? If I tell a woman I’ll call her tomorrow, I do, and I always get a good reaction. In fact, I think it’s sad when women are surprised that I follow up as promised. The right kind of woman doesn’t want a guy who plays games. Treat a lady with respect, and she’ll want to be around you.”
– Jeffrey, 35, sales representative

SOME OLD-FASHIONED CHIVALRY WILL MAKE HER FEEL LIKE A QUEEN
“I admit it’s old-fashioned, but I always open doors for a woman, pull out her chair before she sits and stand when she gets up from the table. Women are sometimes a little surprised by my actions, but ultimately, they appreciate it. A woman once told me that doing those things made her feel like a lady, and that’s what it’s all about. If you treat a woman like a queen, she’ll want you to be her king, so to speak!”
– Larry, 31, lawyer

And its that simple Feel free to add yours if you wish...

Idowuogbo: eeee o! dis anteleope 2 dey form bad guyz?

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Cunninlingus: she looks ret@rded

They always look so

ebamma 3: NAIRALAND
garri is not allowed
NAiRALAND
we sell everything including space
NAIRALAND
scammers are highly welcomed

LOL @ the second