₦airaland Forum

PoliticallyInco:
While a friend can be of any gender, race, class or creed, I have always counselled that a man keeping a woman as a friend,or bestie, or staying in the friend zone, should be totally discouraged and unacceptable by the man (or any man) in question. I for instance do not keep women as friends. If you catch me smiling with a lady, then know we have had sex. Not that we are about to have sex. But we have actually had it,done it and will probably do it again and again. And that is the only reason I'll say 2 or 3 words to her in public, especially in the office environment. Otherwise I'll only speak to her on strictly official terms and basis. No smiles,no special attention, no jokes, nothing! The ladies I have had sex with I text them in the office instead.I remember just pulling out of an intern because someone came in earlier than we had both expected to the office. Buttoned my trousers, buckled my belt, composed myself and acted as if I didn't know her afterwards. But I would send an SMS and she would smile and giggle. The person kept wondering who was making her smile at her phone. I kept a straight face. Didn't look at her twice that day.

The appropriate reactions in this sort of situation you have found yourself, however, depends on personalities and what your INSTINCT and REASON tells you. Right now you are considering not hurting her feelings by leaving the friend zone? Please (and please again) LIVE FOR YOURSELF FIRST (and no one else), then live for your dependants who are too little or too old and require your assistance. It is after this you can consider what she thinks (as tertiary). Think of yourself first. What is it you really want? What was your original intention, how is your psychological make-up and how is the current situation. Is the "friend zone" parasitic, symbiotic or commensalistic?

Let me properly explain the scenarios for you.

If by instinct you wanted to have physical, sexual and romantic relationships with her, then it is advisable you limit or totally stop talking to her at this stage. Pull away. Completely. Simple courtesies like "Good morning" and nothing else. I would have added "How are you"?, however you may get dragged in, loose self controll, and go on and keep talking, worsening your case. Most of you kids do not know the virtues of speaking little and being difficult to read and figure out. Additionally, besides simple general courtesies, she should know nothing about you, or your day, or your activities anymore, unless the one she stumbles upon. And even then, immediately limit her from knowing any further. Also, pay no attention to her business and whatever she is doing. None at all. Live your life. Drawing close to her or putting and poking your nose into her business MAY only cause you the following:

-heart break when you realize she keeps pulling away and doesn't "love" you. Whatever the hell the word "love" means to you. To me the idea of love is simply the lies we are willing to tell ourselves at any given moment about accepting another persons flaws vs his/her good parts when we are sexually attracted to the person so that sex doesn't seem disgusting to us and the society.

-jealousy when you see her with another guy happy and smiling

-anger out of frustration

-envy of the guy(s) she is with

- money you spend to impress her and do her favours

- time you spend to be a "friend" and assist her with errands

-effort/energy you spend in impressing her and doing her favours as a "friend".

Stop all outings etc with her. Create excuses and limit the interaction with her. Now don't do this in a sad manner. Be happy and associate with other people. Live your life happy and healthy but without her in it in any form. To keep chasing a woman headlong, who is running away from you is the most antiseductive thing a Man can do. I don't want to delve into the psychological science of this. I see friend-zoning as subtly ridiculing the romantic advances of a man." Sorry you can't eat this food, but you are allowed to look at it, long for it and take in its aroma".


Now if you are made differently and by instinct you do not feel any desire to have anything physical or sexual with her, then go ahead. It is your time, your pride, your money and effort. A lady will hardly ever want to be your friend if she is not getting something out of it. Either company, protection or material/financial benefits. If you do not mind being used this way or if you are also gaining something else from her, then why not. Keep staying in the friend zone. Like I said if the relationship is parasitic against you, then it isn't worth it. If it is Sybiotic,then weight your costs and benefits and decide. Unfortunately most women ensure that such relationships are hardly commensalistic. They make sure they "use" you. Sorry.

wellsaid:
Patience is a virtue

Hintona:
Not yet o

Na for night I go do my own

Hintona:
I'm about to try it sef.

Will post pictures soon.

Karleb:
I decided to write some Xmas codes the way I'd love almost every code (PHP) be written.

Happy holidays!

theFilmtric:
its kinda easy
I can do that
I just need the values he wants to replace that covered stuff

theFilmtricsay

Daniel2802:
My girlfriend occupies the number 1 spot in my heart.

Well you should know how programmers count numbers.

tensazangetsu20:
I just posted the headless wordpress theme I was working on Reddit and someone contacted me and gave me a job. They were really interested in that technology and wanted me to rebuild their websites with that. If you are beginning just take the steps I have outlined. Corona will reduce by middle of next year and a lot of countries are really receptive to developers. Just find a profitable niche with few competition after learning the general stuff. You can check linkedin jobs. Most of the niches hardly have any competition. Their jobs would be out for days and would have very few applicants with many employers absolutely okay with sponsoring your visa if you are certified. If you are the type that learns by watching videos the niches might not be for you as no one is putting out content on that stuff. You would have to learn them by plain old reading.

tensazangetsu20:
Bros no need to make any long comments nairalanders hate hearing word. The first money I ever made in programming was 300 USD writing ten lines of php code for a wordpress website. My job now pays me 250 USD a week and I use PHP and Gatsby everyday. Mind you I started learning programming ending of February this year o. It's not even up to a year sef. Me I won't even talk again. People should even learn c++ if they want.

One thing I have come to realise is that when it comes to this programming of a thing what gives you money no one will ever show it to you. Everyone Is busy with the shiny stuff lols. The most important thing in this world is money. Imagine going for your high school or university reunion and your friend asks you what you doing now. You will say you are learning programming they will ask you where you are working you will say open source projects lols. Year in year out you are working on open source projects, making new projects yet no work yet no money lol. People have been programming over 3 years now not a single Kobo but someone who knows only HTML and CSS is making bread as a HTML email developer or selling HTML templates.

silento:
Learn php first I made over 7m from side works this year all are from php

I know Python very well and php

Python was my first language am extremely good with it but when it comes to what gets u money go for php

3years of using php I have made more money than what I have seen in Python for 6years+


This is Nigeria everybody want next Facebook with 50k and php is the only language that can give u opportunity to do that

But if u like to suffer go for Python

This year Na only three Python work I did
And all Na just scripts



Forget all the blah blah u read about php about been old and etc go deep into php and u can make anything with it u just have to learn how to program not just php only

This is how I started my programming career

First I learn c
After c++
Then I learn general basic fundamentals of programming

After that

I was able to switch to Python and I was writing my library in c then calling it in Python

na lack of work push me to php web
I learn HTML CSS JavaScript under one week
Then I learn php for two weeks boom na me dey work dey tire


Programming fundamentals

What is variable
How to declare
How to initialize

Maths and assignment operators
Binary operators

Decision making ( if,else etc)

Loops ( while,do while , for ,for each)

Functions
How to declare one
How to call it
Types of functions a language supports

Files
How to open ,read ,and create

Class if avaible in a language

Data types available in each language

This is all u need to understand and u can be bouncing from one language to another without issues

tensazangetsu20:
Bros I would advise web development but find a specific niche. When I started this web development, immediately I completed the frontend track I started applying to jobs on Upwork. Omo would you believe the skills I spent 6 months acquiring were looking like they weren't in demand. I had to start learning things like PHP and WordPress because thats what sells out there. WordPress, Shopify, Magento, Drupal et al. I would advise you to learn the basic languages. For frontend pick a framework like React or Vue. For backend instead of picking a specific language find a platform and learn the language that powers the platform. Most of these platforms also have certifications which employers always request for. Look towards stuff like SAP, Magento, Drupal, Salesforce et al immediately you are done with your frontend journey. Don't follow the MERN stack people o before you join tech twitter to start looking for a place to work for free to gain experience .

These platforms are used by big companies and they always have issues getting developers because everyone is learning the shiny stuff. All the big companies in Nigeria and Abroad use SAP as ERP software and Salesforce for CRM. Big E-commerce businesses use Magento. You can check the Magento website there are just around 10 certified Magento developers in Africa. I tracked all of them to their Linkedin and they are all working with very big companies. Just find a niche and specialize in it o.

Another thing to note is that most of this platforms have their own JavaScript Framework. Salesforce has lightning which is very similar to React. Sap has sapui5 as its own framework. Magento can work with frameworks like React and Vue. Just get to react then pick a platform and master.

Onuhgabriel:
Hi landers! I initially intended to study law but with the outcome of my Waec though, awaiting Neco. Pls which art course can i study in KSU with the following result?

Math-: C5
english-: C6
literature -: D7
gov't-: D7
marketing-: C4
health education-: C4
CRS-: B3
civic edu-: C5
economics-: C6
Note i got 218 in my jamb
including;
Government -: 73
Literature-: 53
Economics-: 50
English-: 43

Karleb:


You know Danny Thompson?

ABB. ABC. CCC.

ayomikuolatunji:
I just started Javascript last week. It is tough to practice and become perfect. I downloaded upto 20 videos with length more than 8hrs that is I have upto 100hrs videos on my pc. I just mastermind html and CSS... So I decided to start Javascript my first programming language to learn. Please how can I learn it? As I am typing now, I have sitted with my pc since 9am till now....

Informanta:
Good day all,

I am opening this thread as I feel my present state is applicable to so many persons hence I seek a particular thread where we all can unite, share and streamline our opportunities and choices based on informations we have been gathering from different other country specific threads.

I have come to that point in my life where I choose to reject very other thing that isn't related to traveling out of Nigeria,

I would be sharing the informations I have gathered so far and hopefully some other persons would be kind enough also to share theirs.....

Hence I declare this thread Open!!!!

OGWILLS123:
Good day my senior programmer's in the house

Please how do i adjust that fvken nairaland box to
fit at the center with the login input fields

Thanks