₦airaland Forum

Thegamingorca:
Antidistablishmentarialism

joseph500:
We have been through the issue of trust from day 1, trust is no longer an issue, i have used different strategy to at least know the kind of woman she is, it shows that shes not trustworthy, thought havent seen any concrete stuff to actually see she has slept outside, but from what i have seen so far in the past, she probably would have. And all the trick for phone from audio recorder, hoverwatch app, she already know about all, so shes smarter, every means that i know of, she already know of as well.

Cynie42:
Fellow nairalanders. I am confused please, i own a supermarket and v been in a relationship with my current bf whoz not yet working after his Nysc, we v been dating for 3 years now and it has been going well even though I v cheated on him twice, but he forgave me, hez nice. My problem now is that I v a customer, we are extremely close to the extent that we do discuss everything together. am even now closer to him than my bf, hez like a bestie.

But hez now asking me out and pple are telling me to answer him saying its advisable to date ur best friend than anyone else and I don't want to hurt my bf anymore and I don't want to hurt this guy too, he has bin nice to me...pls what's ur take on this, what do you advice i should do?

No insult plz

HeyCorleone:
Check the record well. We have never advanced far in the World Cup.

HeyCorleone:
Check the record well. We have never advanced far in the World Cup.

HeyCorleone:
So we couldn't beat ordinary Congo.
Smh.
We can't pass group stage. No be curse.

Princedapace:
A person who want to cheat will cheat! Forget that thing. I have many married young ladies who are cheating as we speak. If only their hubby can go through their phone, he would have known that he is living with enemy.

Find out on time the type of partner u are settling down with...

A committed relationship should be one with loyalty from both partners.. do u know why? Both are spending their time, energy and money. These three things are expensive.

Always find out who u are dating if such person is who u want to marry. Except na Bleep boy and Bleep girl relationship. But if u guys have made up ur minds to be committed, then faithfulness is expect from both of u.

If u like think sey na only when u marry ur gf u fit discover who she is! She go just kill u follow another man.. As we speak, a young married lady with two kids who used to be my friend is showing me green light for the past one year. If not that I have deleted the messages she sent to me, I would have asked u to send me message and I get to show u a part where she said "I am ready to do anything to be with u if u want'

A cheating woman can kill u just to be with her lust! No dey form 'modern guy' and say na until u marry ur babe before she can be loyal.... if she cant be loyal in committed relationship, she can never be loyal when she is married. Same goes to guys.

It is not by force, anyone who doesnt want to be loyal should not be in a relationship or marriage.. U can still be single and enjoy what married and those dating are enjoying.. So i dont see the need of going into a relationship only to be forming privacy up and down.

Just remain single so that u dont answer any question. For many years, I refused to date any lady becus I didnt want to have anyone to answer to. I was just jumping up and down and I had the fun of freedom... But when i knew I was ready to answer questions like where are u? What are u doing? Why didnt u call me? Who are u chatting with? Can i have ur phone? etc. When i was ready for these questions, I went into a relationship and remained loyal..

We shouldnt accept a stupid lifestyle in this our generation. We shouldnt justify unfaithfulness at all. It may finish our next generation.

NOC1:
Why do you guys go through peoples phone?
There is no way you will check someone's phone without Seeing one thing.
I have never for one day checked my girlfriend phone, I know she is beautiful and young chykers and admirers will be all over her in one way or the other, If you truly want to own her then please make haste and pay her bride price.
For the fact you guys are not legaly married, you don't have a right over her life style.

Trustworthiness:
My advice to you is this:
Get enough money that can last you for 6 to 12 months then leave Abuja to another part of the country without your wife knowing where exactly you went to. You may discuss your movement with your own parents and siblings about your plans. And they must not inform the wife and her parents about it.
Anytime your wife call you on phone, do not pick it but discuss all issues with her on whatsapp only. Message only and not whatsapp voice call.
If she ask you to come back home, tell her you will come back when you are able to be her husband. Because, now you don't know what you are in your matrimonial home.
But, when your father in-law, pick the call and man up to him. Tell him you are not happy, as your home is turning to somthing else. Tell him you left the house to be able to be the husband of man home , so that the love between you and your wife that is once there to rejuvenate again. Let him know you left your former place of work because of his daughter, for love. And now you are being treated by her irrationally because of his interference in you marriage through his generous support for your family.
He may ask you to come back to resolve issue. Never fall into the trap except you are able to get something tangible.
Likewise, move out of the house to another house you can pay the rent, probably smaller apart away from her parent, without packing anything her father bought for you to furnished the house. Let her see what you can afford to buy yourself and not what her father bough for you. What she sees in your house or apartment must be what you bought and not what her parents bought for you.
Let her know, if she still in love with you, she must be ready to leave with you as per your capacity and not her father's capacity. That her parents will not be there for you two forever.

Note: You need to handle the issue with care and avoid issue with your mother in-law.

And be prayerful.

Good luck

worlexy:
I have thought very well with my brain, it's you that should do the same. what will be the job of a pharmacist consultant in the hospital, is it to continue dispensing drugs like he has always done or does he want to start attending to patients and prescribing his own drugs? Will that not be the beginning of anarchy in the hospital? Your doctor writes drug A for you and your pharmacist changes your drug to B just because he feels he is a consultant too, will that not bring about problems. Go to most pharmaceutical shops outside the hospitals now you will see them attending to patients and prescribing drugs, is that how it is done in sane environment? And if you say they won't be changing doctor's prescriptions if they become consultants then why do they want to become consultants if the only job they do in the hospital is to dispense drugs? They should go and become consultants in pharmaceutical and research industry where they can use their knowledge to formulate new and effective drugs. Cos as it is today, pharmacy technician can effectively do the job of dispensing in the hospitals

DrAdonis:
This whole JOHESU thing is tiring. They are just fighting an unjust battle which is an eternally lost one. They just want to further destroy the healthcare in Nigeria.

Let me just explain one or two of what they are clamouring for to those that are not very medically inclined

1. Just because doctors are appointed consultants, they want same. Let us examine who a consultant is in the hospital setting and his responsibilities.

A consultant is a medical doctor who finished medical school, did housemanship and NYSC then writes an exam called primaries which is very tough and competitive with an average pass rate of 20% (not cause majority fail but they choose the top scores as pass) then work as a medical officer for varying years (some more than 10 years) before starting residency. The residency is the postgraduate studies to be come consultants in various specialities like neurosurgery, plastic surgery, Paediatrics etc.
The residency training is a rigorous one and the resident doctor works for no less than 68 hours in a week, runs the emergency, clinics, do ward rounds, teach medical students and even nursing and other students. The resident doctor also does case and seminar presentations carries out researches, writes academic papers and does a thesis (all these and more are necessary prerequisites to become a consultant). This residency takes 6 to 12 years depending on the specialty and it also incorporates very tough specialty exams.

Also take note that a doctor that does not do residency but has 20 years of work and surgical experience is not decorated a consultant.
So for a pharmacist, nurse or medical record personnel to just wake up and say because they have 10 years experience they should be decorated consultants is very laughable and shows myopia, greed and the entitlement mentality that defines JOHESU.

Also, and more importantly, the consultant is the person in charge of patient care and determines what tests, what drugs, what nursing care the patient needs and is indisputably the head of the team. He plays a vital central lead role and he determines who needs to see a pharmacist or a nurse or a lab technician. This comes with its challenges too, for instance, if any thing goes wrong in patient care, it is the consultant that carries the medicolegal burden. So of what use is the consultant pharmacist or nurse in this setting? The patient will only suffer and the standard of care will further depreciate as there will be confusion due to the many unnecessary captains of the ship who can do nothing more.


2. The want equal pay. This is in no way reasonable to any right thinking person as doctors don't do same work or add same value as any other person in the health sector. Is it in the emergency room, theatre or even laboratory?

Let me paint a scenario here. A 55year old doctor with say 25years experience that is a neurosurgeon, for instance, will frequently stand long hours doing very complex surgeries despite his rank, age and status. But a nurse, pharmacist or lab person with similar age and experience will just sit in the ward, pharmacy or lab bossing and tossing the younger ones about, doing absolutely nothing. They add little to no value and are no match in competency or ability but want same pay and remuneration, what an irritating greed and entitlement mentality. All these can only happen in Nigeria

Attached is a comparison of the ratio of the average earnings of healthcare professionals in different countries. In most cases, doctors earn x2 of what pharmacists and others earn but because of a difference of 20 - 50k naira at different levels, they keep going on strike.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.
There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.
I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.
As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.
The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.
Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.
My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.
At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.
I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart". My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.
A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.
He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.
I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.
My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!
MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

OboOlora:
Op. If there’s an award for dullards, u deserve a gold version

happney65:
oloriburuku nii bobo yii sha...oshisko..

happney65:
oloriburuku nii bobo yii sha...oshisko..

sisisioge:
Me sef told you without mincing words that she was cheating.

I sympathise with you o. We all go into relationships for different reason...there is always a catch. Maybe you were too christianly for her...maybe she likes to mix water with a pint of flavor. Maybe God just love you like kilode, He won't let you choose wrongly.

Pele once again, sheet happens.

Malawian:
Pls i want to ask a question...

Why do women leave evidence of their cheating on their phones?

This stuff is what really baffles me.

teemy:
it depends on the way you guys go about the breakup.

Make it a mutual thing and so should your announcement to the public. That way, she would not be shamed and can easily move on to her ex leaving you in peace.

Keep it matured, cheers dear.

mainstreets:
the OP kept using d phrase 'her quest for materialism' was d cause of her unfaithfulness. if u go ahead n marry her, u will regret it. I have a similar experience I will share very soon

Transcends:
Bro, please I lost my phone. Send me a message on Whatsapp. Thanks.

PrecisionFx:
Liverpool will play real Madrid in the finals.

U see ur so called dreams are fake.

joshrare:
Weakling..Amature.....
you know what? Quit that relationship and work on yourself coz to me you are the problem here... You are not ripe for dating yet, irrespective of your age n status..
You can't confront her coz you are scared of losing her yet you run to nairaland for advice...

Abeg shift....
Buhari is still the president of Nigeria, that's a big deal

Acidosis:
Yea I know that feeling bro Trust me, two years from now, you will look back and smile if you take a bold step to move on. It is not going to be easy especially when love is attached but you have to try.

Acidosis:
Remember my advice and warnings on that thread?


You should have listened but of course, some posters were against my opinion, some faulted my post and the conclusion.

Well, it is not too late to back out. Your girl is soo into her ex. There is absolutely nothing you can do.

LIFEisSIMPLE:
Please nairalanders, i need help.

2 months ago, i used my money to buy my girlfriend an internet phone and she quickly signed up for facebook. At first i was happy because she was happy, now i think i made the dumbest mistake in the history of mankind.
She has started connecting with a lot of her friends and classmates and always on the phone chatting smiling and laughing. Shockingly, I tried to look through her phone last night only to realised that the phone is now passworded.

I have been observing alot of changes, and recently when i try to call her at night her phone is busy getting lousy excuses. I have invested so much in this girl and i do not want stories that touch.

Please i need advice on how to handle this situation with maturity. Also is it okay if i collect back the phone as this internet phone has now become the source of all my worries and pain.