^^^^^^^ do you mean married with kids and no source of income? or rather no source of steady income?

^^^^^^^^^^ why are you limiting yourself to those areas? any particular reason?

leighcon:


@all
From our feedbacks I am deducing that a starter has a lot of set targets to meet and may only be able to save very little while even occasionally dipping hands into the savings.

For me I have not lived an extravagant life but I have come to realise that Lagos can be really expensive. Funny you never know how the expenses creep in.

May be we should put some figures down for proper analysis, my scenario is Lagos and residence is Mainland while office is oin the Island

Transport/M Public Transport - N15k Private Car fuellling N25K
Fuel for Gen N12K
Lunch @ work N10K
Food Items @ home N10K
Utility BIlls(Gas, PHCN etc) N7K
Misc N10K
Phone Bills N5K

Any more realistic usual bills

you should add tithe, offering, gifts/donations (some you just cant avoid like office contributions during birthdays, weddings), the occassional family/friend you send recharge card or money.

Really saving takes a lot of discipline and the ability to delay gratification. but i've discovered some home truths about savings
1. save for a purpose, otherwise you may see it as loose cash and dip into it.
2. dont bother keeping up with the Joneses, cos they honestly do not care about you. the people who care about you understand where you are comming from and will never judge you by appearance alone.
3. dont carry more than you need. it will help reduce the temptation to spend.
4. begin with the end in mind and never underestimate the power of compound interest.
5. above all, condition your mind, its all in the mind

onyiilady:

I need a responsible female friend. I find it boring after work/spare time. We can hang out together, i just dont have one. Please note that i'm neither lesbian nor bisexual. I basically need a God fearing/decent girlfriend who can influence and motivate me positively. I hate lazy girls who think they can't do any better without depending on a man.
I live a TRUE life so i need a true friend who lives a geniune life. E.g unemployed girl without any traces of wealthy background yet drive the biggest car in town and behave as if the world belongs to her, THIS IS A FAKE LIFE. Please holla at me lets see how we can help each other mirandaever@yahoo.com

i can see you have a good business sense though. will send you a mail. i come to ikota often, especially in search of jeans!! i hope you can help me there.

@ OP,

how come you were the only one that saw his burnt car? this your alliance with Onanefe, you go soon tell us o,

but really, if one benz burns why should i really care when he can replace it with all that he has amassed? at least no one was in the benz.

if you are connected, then you will be in the firms that pay about 150k plus profit share at the end of the year. if not, its tough.

Isabella89:

I mean when will you guys stop being hard and somehow oppressive on us women in the name of culture, norms and what we should do and the box to fit into to please the whole Nigeria. Even the most confident of us still get boxed in by all these stigmas and stuffs just like I am almost doing. The posters fiancee is not left out too, the lady is only being influenced by the expectations of friends and is trying to live it up. There you are reminding me of the ticking clock too, should we marry ourselves or go marry men,so don't be too hard and judge me Baby.

then let her go get a job for Christ sake!! in 2 years she has contributed absolutely nothing to the guys growth and development! what am i saying, she hasnt even contributed to her own growth and development!

@ OP,

what role has this girl played in your life other than to milk you dry? let her earn some money and see if its easy spending it all to feed people sitting in an air conditioned hall. has she ever tried taking care of your mother? afterall, she has time on her hands. i bet she doesnt even visit to know how your mother is doing; and here you are asking us what to do?

you think when you empty your savings on the wedding and car and go home to drink garri, you think she will not finish you with insults? you better smell the coffe brew and get out of this torture you call love. and if you dont, i can bet your small ass will open another thread here asking how to leave his marriage.

how do we contact you oooo, i have this catholic friend i have been trying to hook up. that gal needs to step out more, always in church and work

ok , i know a lot of decent girls that need to get out more and meet people, the issue is meeting people they can blend with. na wa

Onchedu, you just spoke my mind,

@ OP,

Please give him all the space he needs because your writing anything won't turn the situation around, at least not the way you are expecting. please let him be, as much as you can, try not to contact him at least for a while and in the interim, please do stuff that you love, meet new people whatever, just make sure you're occupied. if he really likes you, it wont take him long before he realizes.

take care dearie

Your mind made up yet?

Please allow the brother cast his net o, you dont know the big fish he might catch

manmustwac:

@bee44
Church is business and the purpose of any business is to make as much profit as it can. Am dissapointed in yuo coz i thought you knew this.

me sef i'm disappointed, but most of all, I'm disappointed that you even give the issue more thought than it deserves. the pastor doesnt bless you, God does. who says all those that have givenoffering and tithes get blessed when the Pastor prays for them? my dear, you better think again.

Labake,

From reading Funaya's post, it was obvious that you always wanted him for yourself and you were just waiting for the chance to pounce and good for you the chance has come. so you have no apologies and no sympathy right? thats good for you at least you are not ashamed to say that you are greatly enjoying another persons misery.

but look how fast Funaya dumped Fantasia, you think one day it wont be your turn? you think you will never make a mistake right? you believe Funaya will always need comfort abi? you think at the back of his mind Funaya will never wonder wether he judged Fantasia too harshly? you think he will never think of her? am sure you know you must be joking to think all that. what sort of christain are you anyway? you are no different from Pastor Isaac. Because what you have done to her is enough to send her to the hospital.

Now you dont want to speak with her again, I hope Fantasia is smart enough to leave you two alone, because she deserves better than a 'friend' like you and a boyfriend that has the hots for her 'friend'.

lol ,

when will people learn to leave their partners phones alone you probably found what you were scrolling for ,

@ OP,

depends on how much you can take. if you are in for the fun of it, who cares about the other woman? but if you want a relationship that could blossom into something more, you better ask the guy to choose. if he chooses you fine, if not, please move on.

but the way i see it, the guy will end up marrying none of you!!!

@ OP,

you need to know wether there are criterias to be met before being paid profit share and what those criterias are. if banks were declaring losses and huge dip in profits, it is unlikely that they will want to share from the loss position or erroded profit. i'm not saying its a good thing, but you should know from the day you decide to work in a bank (some banks are worse than some though) not everything you are promised will be given to you just like that.

have you ever tried dividing your gross by 12? does it come close to anything you take home? (exlude tax and pfa) so profit share is icing on the cake given with the mood of management. forget that it is in your offer letter, it is not your right. at least, so we have come to learn.

then maybe you should forget about girls for now and focus on your job. because this problem will occur over and over until you realise that you need to find a balance. thats what life is about - BALANCE.

so you prefer the one that gave you disease? just tell her you were with a jehovah witness and you suspect you have contacted a disease and she will leave you gladly. i suspect you are the one trying to affect her future negatively.

please get a grip my guy.

Ahhh, I see ,

I actually read your post (even though it was a bit difficult to understand) and I think before you go pimping your ride, you must understand plenty things:

1. a laptop for 'video calling you anytime' is not a substitute for you.
2. staying at sheraton or some hotel and being glued to your laptop is no way to get to know somebody. you dont even know what she is like outside of that hotel environment.
3. you give her 2,000 euros monthly and she buys credit with it and calls you, yet you dont pick!

whats to say the next ride you love-vendor wont call you a Chameleon? maybe she may say "big chameleon" this time. lol

my dear, life is more than staying at sheraton glued to your laptop and sending 2,000 euros through western union. these days girls want more than that. they want sacrifice, commitment. those are things that your 2,000 euros and sheraton hotel cannot buy or make up for.

me i just dey answer question oh. dem say why dem no dey find man? that was my thinking really, no one on nairaland to blame for that dont worry.

odiaero:

keep trying, cos i hv 2 write in dutch b4 i convert to english, wht part u do not understand?

Err , the "P.I.M.P My Ride" part. what does that have to do with the girl calling you a chameleon? abi is it not the programme on MTV about giving cars more effizy?

pro01:

Gbam. Added to that is the fact that more often than not (80%), she owes her 'success' to another man, to whom she'll keep paying 'homage' in kind. Which sensible man wants such for a girlfriend or wife.

why not reduce this your statistics? i see a lot of women around me that have achieved a lot of financial success simply because they started working at an early age and have risen to managerial positions in their organizations.
I think the issue with the working black woman is that they focus on getting jobs and paying the bills, and after that focus on gaining all sorts of independence. by the time they think they are ready for marriage, they have reached a certain age and by then they have acquired such high tastes that it becomes a bit difficult to start with a man from a particular level, he has to be at par or higher and a guy at managerial level or higher is probably married so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marry the one that loves you more.

and from your post, it ain't the UK based guy.

all d best

check your mail again bro.

@ OP,

i think you should ask her if she has a boyfriend and how she feels about him (with your fake ID). that way you will know whats on her mind before you start going bunkers. but for you to have bothered trying to play this kind catch me if you can game, then it means the fundamental ingredient i.e. trust was missing in the first place or simply not enough.

i sent you a mail yest. check ur box. and yes I am single and so are my friends,

hopo99:

I really dont believe yr half truth about yr relationship with this good girl. you must have 'panel beaten and chop' her to stupor. Ithink you are just a heart breaker. Girls dont just fall in love with men like dat!

Says who? have you forgotten they work together? all she has to see is that the brother has potential and she will stick like a glue, besides don't forget other people in the organization haven't approached her because they think she is highly spiritual. she is happy that someone has finally approached her and at the back of her mind, she thinks she can change him with her 'goodness'.

@ OP,

well, you don enter!!! lol. the only thing i can say is that you should forget about the virginity and spirituality issue, try and get to know her. if that her goodness is not a camouflage for her insecurities, you will find that you just may get to like her.

please keep us posted i beg

@ OP,

you drank rat poison because of woman?? I mean seriously? haba, i been think say warri no dey carry last but this your own pass last!

but really, free the babe & move on. take it each day at a time. nobody deserves to be treated like trash just because they are in love! that girl is not for you, end of story

cuteromntc:

real aproko thats who u are.lol

if u can date him or u know someone who might be interested why not recommend.one good turn deserves another.lol.I unfortiunately dont ve friends

lol , well, i have friends, plenty sef with wife material written all over them. i'll recommend if he is serious really.

Tobiatoo:

hi ijere. i didnt know dis grail message tin until dat poor ghanian fell in troble with dem. he lived close to my sister house at alimosho. he went to read there message and didnt go again. they disgrace him and try to kill him. think twice ijere. go to alimosho to ask.

please learn to communicate properly so you can be understood! How can someone go somewhere to read a book, didn't go back there and yet fall in trouble with the people so much so they disgraced him & tried to kill him?? where did they find him to disgrace him & try to kill him? why did he fall in trouble? Please my dear, speak only that which you have knowledge of, it will help you in all your endeavours.