₦airaland Forum

KevinDein:
spot on
That's the long term plan. To make divorce seem cool and very acceptable just like babymamaism. For now it's leave if he abuses you. But I can guarantee that very soon what is deemed "abuse" will change. And just like you said, very soon a simple question like "dear, why are you coming late" will be termed abuse.

Obviously, some people have made it a point of duty to destroy that institution called marriage .

Word.. You get the cryptic message behind all this noise about domestic violence. Just like the Feminism issue, the real message would be lost halfway through this campaign. By then the message would be "He has no right to scold you. That's a clear warning he would soon get physical with you. You better leave now"

For every one abusive marriage I've seen (In all honesty, I've not even witnessed one, only stories) I've seen ten equally mutually loving/respecting spouse.

Marriage ain't that bad.

There's a gradual redefinition of marriage from what we grew up to understand it to be. Peeps are seriously making marriage seem like boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in which you can just walk out at any second with the blink of an eye.

There's this conscious effort by folks to gradually plant this seed of "divorce is a normal thing" in our subconsciousness that it's perfectly ok to walk out of your marriage at any point in time.

And in the next 5-10 years, we'll begin to see and hear of lots of divorce cases due to the flimsiest and silliest excuses due to one form of "abuse" or the other. It can be as much as the husband asking her "Where are you coming from by this time?". And she files for divorce the next day due to threat to life or signs of violence.

By then divorce wouldn't be frowned upon like now or divorcee ostracized again. Just like the baby mama ish now, it'll become perfectly ok to walk out of you marriage once your partner slaps you.


#GodSaveOurHomes #SayNoToViolence

Mamatee07:
Thank you, this is nothing but a propaganda piece written to make to make it seem like women are usually the causes of domestic violence and divorce and they will regret bit after This was clearly written by a man and in won't be surprised if it was written by one of those that have been shouting how women wanting equality is the problem in today's marriages

Yea right. Just surprised no one else noticed it as everyone seemed to be engaging the Op who is actually my prime suspect

fancyupage:
Some Nigerian men need to attend marriage building classes. Any man that thinks the bride price give him the right to treat his wife like a "thing" is a fooooollll. The bride price is more of a tradition than anything.

In the UK men can buy expensive wedding rings to propose, more expensive than the bride price but such men don't treat their women like a thing. Being a woman abuser is a mental health issue and not a bride price issue in my opinion.

You need to really calm down and answer his question. And stop mentioning the UK at every turn. A female lawyer recently stabbed her husband to death in his sleep also.

Agreed women are manipulative and can be pushy, I can't just place my hands on it, but the tone of the so called writer of this story suggest it was made up and written by a male.

More like he was trying (albeit unsuccessful) to really stress the point that after divorcing, women become losers, laughing stock, lonely, hungry etc..

Perhaps in light of the discussion about Lekan and his late wife, dude is trying to make it appear the man is the abused one.

#SayNoToAbusiveRelationships

invectives:
Guy u can lie ehn.no matter how bad dat road is to ogoja it's 2 hrs u will drive. if u left in the night dos not mean someone else will use same amount of time u wasted doing whatever y'all where doin driving that late et all.Ogoja to Ikom is trekkable. if You can't stand the heat of Ymodulus thread pls do urs elf a favour and gerrout.he is legit thatzall.

Didn't even see your reply before quoting him. By 12pm-2pm, you start seeing 6-7am Cross Lines and Calculux buses that are Abuja bound arriving or leaving Markudi from Calabar. Like say na only them dey travel by road.

Even the Op sef, if he had not been misinformed, PH-Calabar is about 4-5 hours now (thanks to the bad state of Odupkani-Itu road), else it used to be 3. Did 3hrs severally travelling with #Enarits transport. He wouldn't have bothered flying to Abuja and back to Cali.

x240:
Leave all of them make them dey feed us with inaccurate information like say we never Waka pass lagos. Markurdi to Ogoja alone is more than 4 to 5hours. Ogoja to Ikom with the terrible bad roads last I passed through there was up to 5hours. We left Ogoja around 7pm and got to ikom around 2am. Poor visibility and the rains also contributed to it though

Oga calm down, Markudi-Ogoja shouldn't be more than 3 hours 30 minutes abeg. Na 80kph una dey do?.

ExplicitContent:
Markudi to ikom is not a 3-4 hrs drive miss

Markudi-Ikom is actually 4-5 give or take. The only bad point that might really delay you is Ekpogrinya or something like that.

This is coming from a regular driver through that route.

Caveat: Private car actually..

olamideayodeji1:
Bros pls get ur fact right, no "brother" will accept 12k for a whole year, its per month and thats 144k per year. And pls stop making it look like its such an evil thing to have a house girl, sometimes these girls doesnt do anything in the house than to stay with ur kids till u get back from work.
I have a house maid and I treat her like a typical employee.

To know whether it's evil or not, how old is this your "House maid"? And since staying with your kids isn't "Anything", why don't you leave them by themselves without any need for the maid?

E never change na

Mrbigman2:
Am not gonna argue with u though. U just misplacing them.

Caritas is in Anambra state only. One in umunya, the other at Oba.

Veritas is a catholic school in abj, but ede own one in Enugu too in Nike. I ve being dia too.

Dia re 3 private university I know in Anambra, St. Paul, Caritas and Madonna.

una too like argument: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caritas_University?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C7062113706

Ps: Madonna also have a campus in Elele (Rivers state) and Enugu

Mrbigman2:
Ede owns only Madonna and veritas in Enugu.

Lol.. Sorry bro. He owns both. Don't even argue because i attended Madonna myself and occasionally students from Caritas came,down to our campus for one function or the other. I visited caritas myself once. Amorji Nike or something like that.

And again, Veritas university is owned by the Catholic Bishops of Nigeria and their main campus is in Abuja. The campus in the East (i think it's Abia state) is their take off campus.

Then there's Godfrey Okoye too in Enugu and that of Chimaroke, Renaissance.

Pavore9:
No. But have visited him in Uga way back with some of our mutual friends while buildings were still under construction. He shared with us the strains he was going through to set up the structures he now has in Yga. Can't forget the bitterleaf soup we were served and the jokes he cracked.

Cc: Mrbigman2

I thought Caritas University is owned by Rev. Fr Emmanuel Ede?

frozenSun:
That's not cool. The girl's mom really fu'cked up the element of surprise and ruined a perfect moment.

you are not over reacting bro... anybody who takes planning and surprises very seriously would know how it feels.

when u feel u are surprising someone and the person just watches u do all ur wahala cos ur plan has been know all along then it can make u look real foolish.

sorry bro. this ain't cool but just forget it so u don't get too upset and shoot ur mother in law.

come on now bro... breathe in, breathe out and let it go. u will not remember the old woman's mess up forever but u will always remember that you left the one you say you love JUST because of an old woman who couldn't hold her mouth. please don't blame the woman either. some men are worse than that woman.

this might just be the devil's way of trying to stop you from wedding the girl u say u love.

Cc. Danfuster.

We need more of fellas like you guys on this forum.

I wonder why supposed grown folks can't just do without insulting people online.

What if the man was saying the truth?

What if what he actually saw that made him use his flash light was indeed an alley cat? But in the process noticed your window open and unfortunately her husband woke up at the point?

What if the man simply apologized because he knew it would be hard proving his innocence and probably wanted peace to reign too?

What if the wife knows and believe her husband wouldn't do such and is indeed innocent of what he's being accused of but isn't the type to argue too much and is only trying to fight for him?

Just in case you missed it, the Op stated she wasn't sleeping nüde, so is there the possibility the man wasn't even checking her out? I mean it's 5am?

I don't know why, but rather than join everyone calling him a pervert, peeping tom and whatnot, I'll rather give him the benefit of doubt.

If you've ever been in a situation were you had to admit to something and apologized just so peace can reign, then you'll understand the angle I'm looking at case from.

Acidosis:
Deceit ruined all the relationship I ever had.

I've dedicated all my life on RESEARCH, so I'm going to be sure no one is playing games with my mind before I tie that knot. I think you've got no choice right now as you're in already. Work things out bro.

I hate deceit, but I can't stand divorce either (except on certain grounds).

I always make sure I know even the smallest things about whoever I'm dating. I'm not one of those that claims "hey, I don't care about your past" nonsense. Only liars and perpetual desperate monsters say such.

If you love a girl beyond her pants, you will care about her past. Sit her her and talk the true words into her, BE YOUR DAMN SELF, and stop LYING nitori oloun.

If you've had 67 abortions, say it clearly, your destined HORSE-band would locate you, at least before your 80th Birthday. No need for needless dramatic distrust and trailing.

Cc. edwife..

I think this is what the Op is trying to say

SANDOSKI:

With that picture, i think you're the only one who understands the angle the Op is coming from

Una no dey ever learn... Don't bring your marriage/relationship issues to social media. Na crazy ideas people go give una. Person don dey tell you say e go carry HIV come back sef. Smh.

If you must talk to someone, i believe on your wedding day you had sponsors? As in, older couples who signed the wedding register with you? These are couples you both look up to and accord respect? These are the people you should consult first, not even your parents who might be biased. That's supposed to be part of their duty.

Well i don't know about your church, but that's the duty of sponsors in mine. They look out for younger couples.

BTW, if i remember you very well aunty Treese, your husband is a Nairalander. Make una carry una matter go talk for una bedroom. Abi na for NL una two meet?

Lord, please I don't want a Dubai wedding... My small town would do.

I don't want Bellanaija to cover/witness my wedding... The sponsors, The officiating priest, Our parents, Rings and Bible are enough.

I know challenges would come, but please i ask is help me find a partner that'll stay 31 years (and counting) married to me like my parents Amen. I really want to be like them and not like my generation Amen.

EazyMoh:
Guy I take God beg you! whichever you chose, dash me the second option slot.

Check the date of the thread.

We are just too crafty for our own good in this country.. Just imagine this? And you'll be surprised to know there are many more smuggling trucks like this.

Even the customs officers all know all this smuggling methods, but all it ti thrive. Then once in a while they make arrests to prove there are working.

Yomieluv:
not that she lacks grace,she was at a breaking point to have said that. We all have our limit of endurance in any situation. She got to her breaking point,and say what she said.

Remember she's human,not a god.

you have a point i.e human factor

"May our loyalties never be tested".. BRF...

Blakjewelry:
I don't think so, I don't see any difference between the connection between heaven and earth of old and of today. Have you ever wondered why the Israelites keep going against Mosco, it because its just like our Pastors keep telling you that God said you should do this or that. History always written to favour the writer

Okay lets just say she assumed his death was certain, hence she wanted him to just register his displeasure with God before dying? That's cursing him having been faithful initially.

ifenes:
A stone age story

The bible itself is stone age then.

Blakjewelry:
The question should be how did she know that if he curse God he will die. In fact how people have you seen or that curse then fall down and died

Can't say. But we're told the God of the old strikes you down or something like that once you sin against him.

nnachukz:
She was from Nigeria.

Lol.

I have a particular neighbour/family friends. I've known them since i began to talk as a child. 25 years plus, we're still neighbours, having built our personal homes next to each others.

I remember the husband lost his job in a (federal) higher institution were he worked. False accusations. She was a teacher with the state govt. A few months later (less than 4), she also lost her teaching job due to one silly indigenization policy. Though her husband is from the state.

Things were sooooo rough for them, such that the lady started selling onions and crayfish (i still remember her stand in the market till date). The husband was so against it but she asked him what would they eat? They had three kids then. Things never got better and he relocated from the state with his family and the wife got a teaching job with a private school. He stayed back, fighting for his job..

Long story short, some five or six years later, he was found innocent and reinstated. Backlog of salaries paid. He brought his family back. His wife got a job with the same institution as a non-academic staff.. By the time they were recruiting for academic staff, she switched easily. Today she's a senior lecturer in that same sch. Her hubby a top management staff.

Sometime ago, she carried me in her SUV and we came upon these group of ladies in the local government secretariat who approached her claiming hunger. She bought a bucket of egg rolls a boy was hawking and minerals for them. On our way she told me those were her colleagues in the government primary school she once taught who teamed up against her to push her out. They were they for all those teacher verification and ish. Meanwhile God don raise her tey tey.

Sorry for the epistle, but i just wanted to tell you a thousand Nigerian women do stand by their hubby through thick and thin.

Job's wife could have done same.

Yomieluv:
When suffering tarry for long,it takes grace for someone to remain steadfast..

I wont blame her,after all she's human.

Meaning she lacked grace? Did she also have to tell him to curse God even if she wished him death? Wouldn't cursing God have sent him to hell?

That's an average of 34 first class students per set.

who remembers Unimaid that year in Zain Africa challenge. Their representatives were always doing well. God punish bokoboys

Btw, is that their back gate?

Job 2:9 "His wife said to him, "You are still as faithful as ever, aren't you? Why don't you curse God and die?" .. (Good News Bible)

Please who can explain her motive? I mean, we are told Job had recently lost his children, wealth and home and was now afflicted with painful sores all over his body.

I believe the said children were hers also, and she also shared in his wealth and home.

Couldn't she have instead prayed for her husband rather than not only ask him to die, but to curse God before dying?

Was she just another cross God wanted him to bear or does her actions illustrate (some) ladies wouldn't stick around their husbands in trying times?

86.5 Normal queue. In an around Lekki