₦airaland Forum

A rhetorical question....but some wouldn't call it 'bribe' but 'gift'

Everything, but No 5 cos I know that she is definitely lying!

When Buying Tokunbo Car.

automedics: The following are the very important things that must be rigourously observed when you presumably an average person without any form of technical automotive knowledge wants to buy an automobile.

1.Don't let the aesthetic,that's the shimmering or sexy look of the car fool you. Usually, vehicles prepared for sale are deliberately burnished to glimmer.

2.Be very observant, immediately you turn the key on(just simply by turning the key one stroke, no cranking sound yet and the engine isn't working yet), make sure that all the images on the dashboard are lighted up. Why? Some Smart Alec car sellers sometimes remove or tape over the bulbs, inside the dashboard, of the warning signs.

3. As soon as the engine is cranked within a few seconds, it must not be up to a minute, the entire dashboard signs' lights must go off.

4. If you notice the CHECK ENGINE light going off simultaneously with the ALTERNATOR light and/or the OIL PRESSURE,then something is wrong.
5.Once the engine has been cranked and is running at idle, the person/s in the vehicle must not feel any discernible vibration. If you feel any form of vibration, it's either bad engine mounts/s, or bad transmission mount or the engine is misfiring.
6. If the vehicle has an automatic transmission system,simply engage the gear with your foot firmly on the brake pedal, you must not feel any sudden shudder or jerking. It should be a smooth engagement with the vehicle simply trying to move in the direction("" forward and "R" backward) of the gear engaged.
7. If all the above observations have been satisfactorily met, while the vehicle's still running smoothly in idle, put on the AC(air conditioner). The needle on (or counter of) the RPM guage must still remain at the same position, allowing for maximum of fifty, over or below(not up to a movement between two stroke marks of the RPM guage). This is a good load test on the engine.
8.Before you make any payment for, or on, the vehicle: look through the lower region of the automobile's windscreen, literally in front of the steering wheel, or on the door frame of the driver's side, for the 17-digit VIN (Vehicle Identification Number)log on to http://www.carfax.com/, to get the vehicle history( service,ownership;incident-like accident/s etc).
If you are happy with the report and all observational and physical test explained above, satisfied, you can then pay for the car.
]http://automedicsafrica.com/new/?p=816
Follow us on twitter @automedicsnig

https://www.nairaland.com/1258231/buying-tokunbo-car-things-watch

Oookay, thanks!

"Dates shake" kwanu...its like its more than what I thought...I thought its a VERY local sort of fruit ONLY found in Northern part of Naija.

Hmmm!

Thanks!
Howz the fasting going?

Common, answer the question na...someone was saying that they are not properly arranged in terms of alignment....that all should be in phase with each other!

Question dropped after 87 views without any answer!

Thanks!

He owes 1 Million plus, and his house of 600K has been said to be seized and to be auctioned at the rate of 200K....note, all in Euros!

All these proceedings and decisions without his consent and without a lawyer.....

What can I call this?

adaobi123: If the man has a stable job and has common sense. Why not ?

Ibo woman!

Na true talk sha!

Who is the real thief?

Umartins1: During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TVnews will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."
This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called knowledge."Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!
So who are the real robbers here?

https://www.nairaland.com/1322371/real-robbers-kindly-read

TB Joshua Buys a football club

Tolexander: This won't be good for Ghanaian football league cos the result would have been known before emmanuel fc played their match.

If the opponents lose, they will blame the loss on the prediction. They may not even go to the stadium to play the match since they've already known the score.

https://www.nairaland.com/1359731/tb-joshua-buy-wassaman-united

Displaying Family Pic.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Sometimes it is not hard to see why many Nigerians are miserable.

We know how to suck the joy out of every single thing...what has displaying pictures of ONE'S family in ONE'S office gotta do with anything, that someone will carry on their head?!!

If we aren't questioning one's right to kiss his significant other in public, we are asking if it is proper for a family to dine out.

If the condemnation of those have been exhausted, we start railing on those people who help their wives sell chinchin or cuff links or how they pray, which church they attend and what kind of car they drive or what side of the bed one gender must sleep.

When that one finishes, we move on to why people shouldn't use BB, Laptop, Android, Notebook etc.

Every single thing has to be dissected because we have convinced ourselves that condemning/question something someone else does automatically makes us more superior.

What happened to live and let live? If you don't wanna display pictures of your family....DON'T but let the person who wants to....do so and stop making a federal case out of it.

Jeez!! [/quote]From the thread : https://www.nairaland.com/1184045/displaying-family-pictures-office-it

Hmmm, hope sexkillz is reading!

ogugua88: A lot of women do it. Some blend it into smoothies and drink it. Some cook it like it's meat and eat it the same way one would eat steak. The popular method is drying it and putting it in capsules to take it like a post-natal vitamin. Those who have tried it swear by it. They say it helps fight postpartum depression and is a good source of iron if I'm recalling correctly. Some say that other animals eat their placentas soon after birth for the same or similar reasons, so humans should do the same.

I thought about it long and hard. Two minutes later, I said never.

https://www.nairaland.com/1312409/kim-kardashian-plans-eat-placenta#1312409.3

Procedures for parking car for long,

Siena: A car can be laid up unused for even 10 years, as long as correct procedures are followed.

01) Disconnect battery.
02) Do an oil and filter change.
03) Have the ATF and filter changed (automatics only).
04) Remove the spark plugs, and squirt clean engine oil down the bores, then replace the plugs loosely. You'll need to remove the plugs and crank the engine for at least 10 seconds, before refitting the plugs when you're ready to use the car again.
05) Take the weight off the wheels, by supporting the frame on axle stands. Tyres can remain fitted.
06) Make sure the gas tank is full. This prevents tank from rusting from the inside out.
07) Put a good fuel additive in the tank, and run it through the system. This prevents the fuel pump seizing.
08) Make sure the cooling system is charged with a fresh water / coolant mix to minimise internal corrosion.
09) Carry out a brake fluid change before laying the car up.
10) Carry out a clutch fluid change before laying up (hydraulic clutch only).
11) Make sure the car is in a place where it can breathe. Car covers are a bad idea long term, as condensation and mould will form inside the car, and the paintwork will suffer from abrasion (windy periods).
12) Park the car in an open garage / carport. This ensures the car is adequately ventilated. If possible, vent the interior by leaving a window or two partially open, at least once every two weeks.
13) Grease door, boot and bonnet hinges, as well as sunroof tracks (as applicable).
14) If practical, spray the entire exterior with a film of WD-40 or other light oil. This will reduce the chances of external corrosion.
15) Wash the wheel arches thoroughly, to remove dried earth. Once clean and dry, smear a gererous layer of multi-purpose grease in these arches, paying particular attention to the arch lips.
16) Leave some bags of silica gel inside the car. This will absorb moisture, and prevent your interior - leather, fabric, carpets, steering wheel, roof lining etc from going mouldy.

This might seem a lot, but this is the best way to keep your car in good shape during long periods of inactivity. All the above will need to be reversed, and depending on how long you leave the car, the gas would have gone off, and will need draining, and refilling with fresh gas. It might run on the old gas, but it'll be difficult to start, and have zero knock resistance.

Good luck!

https://www.nairaland.com/1353516/it-proper-park-car-3years#16729140

Mr Nice Guy!

This guy just put to shade the sweat of the OP!

MRbrownJAY: @OP
what a pile of nonsense!!!!!

- most nice guys are hideously insecure..... BULLSHIIT
just because you have to force yourself to be nice, does not mean that people who are naturally nice are faking it like you do. here is a clue: treat others as you want to be treated, live right and get tenfold in return!

- most nice guys exude insecurity.......BULLSHIIT
the fact that you automatically believe that being nice means being a fool is one of the reason why you have no idea what you are talking about. being nice means just that, and when there is no reason to be nice anymore then these guys become NOT nice any longer. pls stop associating being nice with being a MUGU....thats two different subjects.

- so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible...........BULLSHIIT
if a woman is horrible then ALL guys would complain about her being horrible, not only the nice ones, duh!

- Nice Guys go overboard........BULLSHIIT
just because YOU dont do certain things, or dont live by these criterias, shouldnt be a reason to dismiss those who do. women like to be offered flowers FACT! men try to buy women's affection by any mean necessary, FACT! all men have different view of romance and there is no "one set fits all" when it comes to romance, FACT! thinking that nice guys ALWAYS fail in love is your ultimate fail of the day, FACT! being nice doesnt mean being stoopid, the day you realize that is the day you will have a fair chance on understanding the issue, FACT!

a man that worships or puts a woman on a pedestal is a fool, a man that respects a woman and cares for her needs to the best of his capable abilities is a nice guy. just because YOU cannot care for a woman (because of you egotistical BS) does not make your actions better than the nice guy's.
treat people the way YOU want to be treated, and basta!

as for your idea that nice guys are men that "cling to women, and want to be one with them for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else" i can only laugh in Swahili and ask myself where do you come up with so much nonsense?!

- A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy.........BULLSHIIT, the fact that YOUR insecure self believes that a nice guy is automatically faking (thus afraid that his true self will get busted) is another reason why you are failing in this subject. try to use your brain, remove your low self esteem ego out of the equation, and realize that many men are nice to women simply because that in their NATURE, and they are not faking as you may think.

- Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions........BULLSHIIT
wherever you get your manual on "nice guys" i suggest you go and get a refund. your idea of nice guys is so wrong that only a biatch slap at a 90degrees angle may help you wake up from your nonsense (with all due respect)
some people are not strong or forward like that,and require that others make decision for them...... and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

- Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them,........ BULLSHIIT
some guy are indeed shy, and again there is nothing wrong with that......

- Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is.........BULLSHIIT
there is nothing wrong in showing a woman that you care for her, and if she is special then by all means men need to show that too. men like you have so much crap embedded in their DNA that they have lost the plot on how to treat women properly. if you meet a special woman then SHOW HER THAT SHE IS, end of story!
men should love (the right) women the best they can, as hard as they can, with no boundaries.

- The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires..... ON THE CONTRARY all men should believe in themselves and believe that they are the best person for any woman. the ones who think that they are not good enough are simply insecure low self esteem being. who cares who could be a good match for a lady IF YOU ARE THE ONE DATING HER?! if these other people were "good match" then THEY would be dating her at that moment, not YOU, duh! only an insecure low self esteem person think the way you do.

- More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her.........BULLSHIIT we ALL need women, and any fool who believes that he doesnt is either extremely gayy or deluded! at the end of the day, no man can be truly happy unless he has a good loving woman by his side to share his happiness!

- Nice Guys go after “hard luck” cases..........BULLSHIIT
most women dont show their true on the first date, and some can hide their true self until you say I DO..... only men with misplaced ego would think that they can ALWAYS tell who a woman truly is. some men are novices and shouldnt be blame for their inexperience (aka being a novice)! some men give EVERY women a chance and shouldnt be blame for being open minded like that! some men want "different" women, and that should only be THEIR choices to make, and certainly shouldnt be blamed for that. just because YOU dont like such woman is all on you, but dont automatically blame men who do.

- Nice Guys don’t like themselves.....THE ICING ON THE CAKE OF ALL BULLSHIIT
so if i understand the OP correctly, a man who is nice to others doesnt love himself, bwaaaaah! men like the OP has issues with women, and thus wants all men to think as low as he does of women. there is nothing wrong with being nice to someone, there isnothing wrong with caring for someone, OP should try it someday, it may do him a lot of good.

https://www.nairaland.com/1249682/why-women-dislike-nice-guys

Worshipping of Mary or Jesus

frosbel: Worship Jesus , no one asked you to worship his mother, this is the stuff of PAGANs.

".....And someone said to Him, 'Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.' But He answered the one who was telling Him and said, 'Who is My mother and who are My brothers?' And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, 'Behold, My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, He is My brother and sister and mother.'" - Matthew 12:46-50

The funny thing is , when Christ Jesus went up to heaven in the clouds, Mary was just one of the brethren gathered together in the upper room, she was among the prayer warriors who received the Holy Spirit like the rest.

"When they arrived, they went upstairs to the room where they were staying. Those present were Peter, John, James and Andrew; Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew; James son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James. 14 They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers." - Acts 1:13-14

When it was time to address the crowd, it was not Mary the mother of Jesus who spoke but Peter. If Mary was a 'god' , how come Peter led the team ?

15 In those days Peter stood up among the believers (a group numbering about a hundred and twenty) 16 and said, “Brothers and sisters,[d] the Scripture had to be fulfilled in which the Holy Spirit spoke long ago through David concerning Judas, who served as guide for those who arrested Jesus. 17 He was one of our number and shared in our ministry.” - Acts 1:15-17

Mary was one of the brethren, she was taken care of by John the apostle.

No one prayed to her or worshiped her.

Paul , Peter and the apostles never for once asked us to pray to her or ask her to pray for us.

Stop this pagan madness.

[quote author=gree-die]lol... pagan madness? and you know this because?.. der u go, interpreting the bible according to your level of ignorance...

The Gospel of St. John relates two significant accounts which relate to Mary — the wedding feast of Cana and the Crucifixion. Of the first account we read:
“There was a marriage in Cana of Galilee, and the Mother of Jesus was there. And Jesus also was invited, and His disciples, to the marriage. And the wine failing, the Mother of Jesus said to Him, ‘They have no wine.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, what is it to Me and to thee? My hour is not yet come.’ His Mother said to the waiters, ‘Whatsoever He shall say to you, do ye’” (John 2:1-5).
Jesus Christ then proceeded to work His first public miracle at His Mother’s request. Everything related in the Gospels is inspired by God, and there is a reason for it. Does not this narrative of the wedding feast manifest the intercessory power of Mary with Jesus Christ, her Divine Son?
In the second account, also take from the Gospel of St. John, we read:
“There stood by the Cross of Jesus His Mother... When Jesus therefore had seen His Mother and the disciple standing whom He loved, He saith to His Mother: ‘Woman, behold thy son...’” (John 19:25-27).
Just as Eve cooperated with Adam in the Fall of mankind, the Blessed Virgin Mary cooperated with Jesus Christ in our redemption. She “stood by the Cross of Jesus.” What anguish, what sorrow did the Mother of Jesus experience at the foot of the Cross as she witnessed the sufferings and death of her Divine Son!
In both accounts, Jesus addressed Mary by the term woman. In Hebrew the word used by Jesus was a term which would be addressed to a queen or a woman of high rank. It was a term of great respect.
But why did Jesus Christ address His Mother by the term woman at these two significant moments in His life — at His first public miracle, and at His Crucifixion on the Cross?
Our Divine Lord wanted to clearly indicate that His Mother was the Woman spoken of in the Book of Genesis:
“I will put enmities between thee (Satan) and the Woman, between thy seed and her seed, and she shall crush thy head.”

catholics do not, as Protestants falsely believe, worship the Blessed Virgin Mary. We honor her who was so intimately connected with Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity. Yes, there is only one Mediator with the Father — Jesus Christ. Only the God-Man Jesus Christ could have redeemed mankind. Nevertheless, we pray to Mary that she may intercede for us with her Divine Son. How often we request the assistance of prayers from our fellow men — how much more powerful are the prayers and intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary! In the Old Testament, we read how Moses prayed with arms outstretched and interceded with God to procure the victory of the Israelites over their enemies in a crucial battle. As long as he prayed, they were victorious. When he ceased his prayers, the Israelites began to lose. Because of this, it was necessary for two men to hold up Moses’ arms in prayer until the battle was won. Also, we read in the Old Testament how Josue prayed to God to have the day prolonged in order to win another crucial battle. If Moses and Josue could have such intercession before God, how much more powerful are the prayers of the Blessed Virgin Mary![/quote]https://www.nairaland.com/1232929/jesus-name-all-knees-bow

Letter To Ghana From Nigeria

ZUBY77: Dear fellow West African neighbours,
The news originating from your country since yesterday is that our under 17 boys who trashed you 6:1 at the on going Caf Under 17 nations cup are over aged.
Apart from the MRI machine which disqualified about three of our players, how else do you determine the age of our boys? Probably by the score line. Hahahahaha.
Did we present over aged players at the South African nations cup where we trashed Mali and Burkinafaso that defeated you with ten men?

You must accept the fact that the giant of Africa is back to where it belongs.
The last time you won nations cup was over thirty years ago when we were still recovering from civil war.
Now that we have recovered fully, you will not win anything again whether it is under 17 or over 17. Just pray that we dont meet you on any knockout stage of any competitive sports. We are on top now.
Please help us tell your western neighbour of Ivory Coast what we said.
Their leader called Dede Dgoba congratulated us after we beat them in South Africa while your lousy Amasoa giam claimed that you would have beaten us if we met.
Our under 17 boys are actually under 17. The differences between you and us is malnutrition. Your boys dont feed well.. You eat bread with yam, how do you want to grow with such combination? Havent you heard about protein before?
We are not interested in the statistics that says ''Ghana is economically growing faster than Nigeria. The economy of Lagos state is bigger than that of your entire nation. We are pretty fine down here...
Please do not make the same mistakes North Korea is trying to make by provoking the Mighty USA and China. That was why Jumong always beat Dea-So. Arrogance!!

Thank you.

https://www.nairaland.com/1258599/letter-ghanaians-after-nigeria-beat

Jokes wey make sense.

Stegomiah: This One Dey Jooor !!!!!!
After sleeping wit Ur GF, d rich dude bought her a car.
Don't get angry, dat will mk U an enemy of progress.
Jst draw a timetable for both of U.

U be 35yr old first class graduate without job and u dey
follow Lil'Wayne sing 'I Ain't Got no worries' ... Ur life
is on SOS.

Mumu girl said: "I dated him for GOOD 10 years and he
broke my heart" fool, what's GOOD in the years?

I overheard a girl talking to her BF, initially I thought
she was talking to God, cos the things she asked for only
God can provide dem.

Ladies, the only man you are allowed to chase, I repeat
CHASE shamelessly is the man that stole your purse Why take
Marriage counselling from a Single? That's
worse than Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles & Cobhams
driving lessons.

I'm sure your mother did not give you breast scattered
with tattoos, stretch marks, and Eczema... Pls allow your
children enjoy same.

Nollywood has influenced us too much thz days. I
murder Cockroaches by covering their face with a pillow
and pressing hard I owe my life to Tonto Dike. I was in Coma for 3wks
when d nurse played her song on her fone. I had to
stand up... to remove her battery Nollywood please na!☹ How can a ghost fall down
while chasing someone?

At 23, Ur boobs ve already observed eternal rest & Full
time sleeping mode. Yet U are forming "hard to get"
Aunty, even d devil is weeping 4U

Our Igbo brothers in China are involved if Ur BB has TV,
MicroWave, Torch, Nail cutter,Toothbru sh, Lighter and
Food flask in it

"She's making me bark like a Bingo... she got me
dancing Alingo" ...I still don't understand why Mary
Slessor stopped d Killing of Twins Back then in Primary school, I used to think that song
was "I have seen, seen the DANFO of satan" *sighs* That was how my neighbour named her triplet Faith,
Faithful & Faithfulness... who did those innocent
children offend??☹

Opportunity knocks but once, if you hear a second
knock, bros check well, Na Jehovah witness.

Now dat SEX is so cheap & rampant, decent girls hav
bcom DIAMONDS, Clean men are endangered species,
while LOVE is gradually becoming a MYTH Some ppl will come to visit U, and forget to take their
Odour with them when leaving. Their odour becomes Ur
permanent room mate.☹

So because Ur picture no fine, U dey claim say "Beauty
is from within" Y U NO take X- ray do Ur Profile
picture?

Going for an interview at a bank....dresses like Cabo
Snoop. *sighs* No wonder ur parents didnt use U for
Blood money

Ur partner buys U toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, &
chewing stick for Xmas; & U still don't get d msg. Ur
stupidity don enter Google map Even those that have heads like cabin biscuit be keeping
Mo' Hawks too. *sighs*

At 30, U R stil in ur parents' house, fightin ur siblings
ova who gets d head of fish. Is d witch in ur village
fanning herself wit ur pic?

Na so my Ibadan girl-friend tell me sey she make pizza
for me......I reach house see agege bread with stew and
fish inside. *smh*

If not for anything, abeg still Thank God sey Mosquito
no dey fit transmit HIV. Choi! E for bloody shaa Hope Una enjoy am !!!!!

https://www.nairaland.com/1245380/read-must-laff#15058070

BB as Modem

haibe: For the benefit of those who don't know how to use their blackberry as a modem for their laptop to browse the internet, i will post this short tutorial.

First of all, Download the blackberry desktop manager here if you dont have the CD that came with your phone:

http://uk.blackberry.com/software/desktop.html


After installing, Just connect your blackberry to your laptop using a usb
cable, open the bb desktop manager and make sure it has
connected (it will show the picture of your bb device when
connected and "Sync all" at the bottom right).

After it has connected: Click on the "Tools bar" at the top
Left of the bb manager, then click on "mobile internet
settings", then click on the "Add custom" button, A Box will
appear for filling settings.

For Mtn: Account/profile name: MTNWAP
Username:web
Password:web
Access point:web.gprs.mtnnigeria.net
Dont put anything again, just click on ok and save.

For Airtel: Profile name: AIRTEL NG
Username: internet
Password: internet
Access point: internet.ng.airtel.com
Leave the rest blank and click on ok and save

Now go back to click on the tools bar, then click on "start
mobile internet, it will ask you to connect, do so. Or
alternatively click on "mobile internet" at the bottom left of
the software and connect.
Goodluck..you can check your data balance for airtel by
pressing *123*10# to monitor your data usage and make sure your Bis is on..thanks.

Let me know if it helped or if you all have any questions.

https://www.nairaland.com/1117977/how-use-blackberry-modem-browse

The Human Body

fellis: The human body is an incredibly complex and intricate system and it still baffles researchers regularly despite thousands of years of medical knowledge. As a result, it shouldn't be a surprise that even body parts we deal with everyday have unexpected facts and explanations behind them.
Here are 100 wacky facts about the human body:
1. The brain is more active at night than during the day. Scientists don't know yet why this is.

2. The higher your IQ, the more you dream.

3. Facial hair grows faster than any other hair on the body.

4. The nail on the middle finger grows faster than the other fingernails.

5. Fingernails grow nearly four times faster than toe nails.

6. The lifespan of a human hair is 3 to 7 years on average.

7. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve zinc. It doesn't destroy the stomach because because the stomach walls constantly renews itself.

8. Women's hearts beat faster than men's.

9. Women blink twice as many times as men do.

10. Women are born better smellers than men and remain better smellers over life.

11. Men burn fat faster than women by a rate of about 50 calories a day.

12. Men get hiccups more often than women.

13. A man has approximately 6.8 litres of blood in the body while women have approximately 5 litres.

14. The largest cell in the body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

15. During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools.

16. Babies are always born with blue eyes. The melanin in their eyes needs time to be fully deposited or to be darkened by ultraviolet light to reveal the baby's true eye color.

17. Men have erections every hour to hour and a half during sleep. This is because the combination of blood circulation and testerone production can cause erections during sleep and are a necessary part of REM sleep.

18. After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.

19. If your saliva cannot dissolve or mix with food, you will not be able to taste that food (try tasting something after drying off your tongue)

20. Noise causes the pupils of your eyes to dilate. Even very small noises can do this.

21. Everyone has a unique smell, unique finger print and unique tongue print.

22. By age 60, most people will have lost half their taste buds.

23. Your eyes remain the same size after birth but your nose and ears never stop growing.

24. A simple, moderately severe sunburn burns the blood vessels extensively.

25. We are about 1cm taller in the mornings than in the evenings.

26. The strongest muscle in the body is the human tongue.

27. The hardest bone in the human body is the jaw bone.

28. The hands and feet contains almost half of the total bones in the human body.

29. About 32 million bacteria call every inch of your skin home, but they are mostly harmless and some of them are even helpful.

30. Humans shed and regrow outer skin every 27 days.

31. Three hundred million cells die in the human body every minute and everyday and adult produces 300 billion new cells.

32. The colder the room you sleep, the higher the chances are that you would get a nightmare.

33. Humans are the only species that produce emotional tears.

34. All babies are color blind at birth, they see only black and white.

35. The only part of your body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It gets its oxygen directly from air.

36. A normal human being can survive 20 days without eating but can survive only 2 days without drinking.

37. It is impossible to kill yourself by choking yourself with your hands.

38. Everybody has one strong eye and one weak eye.

39. Your skeleton keeps renewing itself every ten years which means that every ten years you get a new skeleton.

40. The human feet have 500,000 sweat glands and can produce more than a pint of sweat a day.

https://www.nairaland.com/1178211/40-amazing-facts-human-body

Women with sound virtues.

This is the kind of people I'm talking about!
Women with SOUND virtues!

MMotimo: Don't know how many times this issue comes up in this section but I will say what I have always said. Culturally, Nigerian women, especially Southerners have been raised to believe that you have to bring in an income in order for your spouse and his family to respect you. Never mind that you have abused women with full time jobs.

A lot of people think staying at home makes it more likely your husband will abuse you. Please, spend time on courtship, know whom you are marrying. If hes going to be an abuser, chances are, you will see signs if you spend enough time in courtship. A very small minority of men can change overnight into monsters but that is not the norm. By the way, be careful that you, the wife, do not change into something the guy did not bargain for. If you were the saving type before he married you but afterwards, suddenly develop a taste for keeping up with the Joneses, that would not be fair to him.

Staying home (usually the woman in African settings) is a lifestyle choice and is determined by affordability and trust. I bolden this because for most people, it's not affordable but that does not mean you disparage others who can afford the choice. Above all, it should always be a joint decision and like most things in life, subject to change if it is not sustainble. No point doing it if one partner resents the other partner staying home or if it is not an affordable choice for your family

If the working partner's income is not sufficient to finance household expenses, you probably should not opt for it. When I say expense, that includes aso ebi, your Brazillian weaves, owambe parties, vacations, clothing, etc and any financial assistance to relatives/friends on both sides. I may be able to run my household on N50000.00 a month but maybe yours runs on $8000.00 per month. The same question still applies - can the working partner sustain the expenses? If so, for how long and at what cost?

At this point, I must say that if you don't have direct access to the income earner's accounts/earnings, if your assets and liabilities are not in joint names, then you should probably not stay home. Already, there's a comma in the situation if only one party makes and controls the financial decisions. In order for it to be successful, there has to be trust on both sides and each side should be comfortable with the other's spending habits.

Life insurance policies are available in Nigeria, same as in the West. It is called insurance in case the unexpected happens, fear of death should not mean you can't stay home and raise your kids if that is your family's desire. Sadly, the vast majority of Nigerian women that work, still have no net worth to show for it. It is still the constant hand to mouth, keeping up with the Joneses, dodging randy bosses at work who derive joy from chopping another man's wife.

Why are you staying home? For the vast majority, it's to raise their kids. For a few, it's simply a preference. If your spouse is fine with it and you can both make it work, do not let the mischievous sow discord in your home by calling you names.

If part of your self worth is tied to your career or how much money you make, it's probably not a good idea. For some people, working is not about money but about self worth/esteem
If you are going to miss the workplace environment, you should probably just keep working. If you are going to feel embarrassed and useless because you are not working, then keep working.

A much as possible, let your value system be based on experiences, not on acquisitions. I tell you, life becomes so much simpler once it's no longer just about acquisitions. Focus on building NW while at the same time, building your children (those that make the choice for kids).

Finally, yes, I stayed home for a couple of years, in Naija and in the West. I work now, because our kids are much older/independent and household expenses have grown. My extended family do not pry in my business so I didn't have to explain to anybody but I know it took a lot for my Mum not to say anything. She started working at 18 and only retired when she had a solid gold pension and left with a sizable package. If she were dead, she might have turned in her grave, she drummed career mum into me at an early age.

I stayed home but I have always had access to everything my husband has/earns and vice versa. I am that wife that knows where everything is and whose husband will "sign here" without a second glance because of mutual trust. It doesn't matter which gender plays the lead financial role, trust is non-negotiable when it comes to money, epecially for a Naija couple.

https://www.nairaland.com/1257575/because-wife-does-not-work#1257575.2

Punishment for stealing church guitar

Jakumo: The punishment meted out to this guitar thief should be determined by the accused person's ability to play that guitar like he stole it.

If he cannot even tune up the guitar, talk less attempt to play music on it, there should be no mercy shown, and the impostor should be shot by firing squad at dawn, to serve as a deterrent to all others who might consider stealing an instrument that they are incapable of playing.

If, on the other hand, the accused proceeds to bust loose with some mind-bending George Benson guitar riffs and solos, the theft of the guitar should be forgiven entirely, PROVIDED that the accused is ready to sign a written undertaking that he will offer free guitar lessons to President Johnny B. Goode.

Let justice be served !

https://www.nairaland.com/1345592/man-jailed-stealing-church-guitar/1#16608181

Different Lenths of Day For Ramadan Fasting

akanke79: Ramadan Fast: 15 hours in UAE, 20 in Sweden, just 9 in Argentina
By



Published Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Muslims in the Gulf face one of the toughest fasting months this year as Ramadan comes in the middle of the scorching desert summer and involves one of the longest fasting times that exceed 15 hours a day in the first week of the holy month.

Muslims living in the region already know this but most of them probably do not know that such a long fasting period here is dwarfed by the fasting hours for Muslims living in such countries in the Northern Hemisphere as Sweden, Denmark and Finland, where the day could stretch to more than 20 hours.

But this period is an average in the southern parts of those countries, the capital and surrounding areas.

Further north in Sweden and Iceland for example, it never gets dark in most of June and this means that the day could be as long as 24 hours in Ramadan 2015.

“Islam is very clear regarding fasting. It says Muslims must refrain from food and drinks from just before dawn until sunset, but there are exceptions as our religion has always been flexible,” said Sheikh Abdul Basit Dirawi, an Abu Dhabi-based preacher.

“For example, when a fasting Muslims travels by plane to a distant area, the sun could be rising instead of setting. In such a case, he should make a logical estimation. In areas, where the sun never sets, he just has to follow the pattern of the nearest city where it gets dark or seek advice from the nearest scholars if possible.”

On the opposite end of the planet, Muslims in such countries as Argentina enjoy the shortest day, with an average of only around nine hours, below half Sweden’s day.

In Australia, where a large Muslims community lives, the day is little longer than in South America, averaging around 10 hours through Ramadan, which coincides with winter in that continent.


Weather effect

But before you rush to feel sorry for Muslims in the Northern Hemisphere, you should take the weather into consideration.

While the weather in the Northern Hemisphere remains mild in summer and temperatures are relatively low, not exceeding 25 degree, Ramadan in the Arabian Peninsula comes during the hottest period of the year.

Temperatures could be as high as double those in Sweden, with the Saudi government Met centre expecting them to climb to 50 deg C in some areas.

“Ramadan this year comes in the midst of summer which starts on June 21 until September 22. Climatic forecasts show that Ramadan will be very hot and humid and temperatures will climb to record levels in some areas,” the centre said.

It said temperatures in eastern Saudi Arabia, where coastal Gulf countries are located, could soar to 50 degrees in some days during Ramadan while they would range between 40 and 48 in most other parts of the Kingdom.


Sweden & Finland

In recent comments, a Muslim scholar in Sweden said the principles of fasting during Ramadan are clear and that Muslim there must fast all the day.

“There is still day and night, so Muslims should just follow the rule that you fast during the hours of daylight. Sometimes Ramadan falls in the winter, and then the hours of daylight are very short,” Sheikh Mahmoud Khalfi said.

While insisting strict observance of the fasting rules might sound a bit tough on Swedish Muslims, Khalfi noted that fasting can be tough for people in Muslim countries too.

“In very warm countries, such as those in the Sahara, it is not easy, but people fast the whole day anyway,” he said, adding that there were advantages other than the knowledge that people were observing their religious duties.

“It strengthens your will and strengthens your patience. You learn to control your inner desire. It also teaches solidarity with the poor - those who have nothing to eat.”

According to Omar Mustafa, president of the Islamic League in Sweden, there is still no agreement on how Muslims in northern Europe should observe the fast.

"Several imams and organisations have different opinions. It is up to each individual to decide, nut it is not meant that you should fast around the clock. Islam provides many options," Mustafa told a Swedish newspaper recently.

In Finland, a newspaper quoted a Muslim Bangladeshi as saying he was fasting an average 21 hours during Ramadan last year.

“It does not get dark here. It always looks the same.

“The sun is always on the horizon” said Shah Jalal Miah Masud said, who lives in Rovaniemi, nearly 830 kilometres (515 miles) north of the capital Helsinki.

"It is quite difficult to get what the time is actually right now. It is 11 o'clock in the evening and the sun has only just started to dip below the horizon.”

According to a Muslim Imam in Finland, there is another option which reduces the number of fasting hours – mark its duration by the rising and setting of the sun in countries far to the south of Finland.

Imam Abdul Mannan, president of the Islam Society of Northern Finland, said there are two schools of thought in this respect.

"The Egyptian scholars say that if the fasting days are long - more than 18 hours - then you can follow the Mecca time or Medina time, or the nearest Muslim country time,” he said.

“The other point of view from the Saudi scholars says whatever the day is -- long or short -- you have to follow the local time."


http://www.emirates247.com/news/emirates/ramadan-fast-15-hours-in-uae-20-in-sweden-just-9-in-argentina-2013-07-10-1.513794

https://www.nairaland.com/1356536/different-lengths-day-ramadan-fast

[quote author=Mak'sjoy]Date palm. Be mindful how much of it u consume, sha. It has laxative effects, if much is consumed at once. It is even suggested one dissolves lots of it in water and drink, in place of laxative tablets.[/quote]Its being very sugary calls for laxative attention unless one used to candies!

busar: I guessed he formed it and i also guess he doesn't know the islamic ruling on jokes(lies) .

This is healthy jokes, no big deal about it!

I stand to be corrected or banned still!

deols: Did this really happen or you formed it?

Just joke...u don't like it?

Its not "positioning" per se cos the banana has a permanent position of the shape it has taken over the years.....this happens more when we wanna re-adjust our trousers from getting under the shoes or otherwise.

I only do that when Im pulling my trouser, or when once-in-a-while repositioning!

Tolexander: This won't be good for Ghanaian football league cos the result would have been known before emmanuel fc played their match.

If the opponents lose, they will blame the loss on the prediction. They may not even go to the stadium to play the match since they've already known the score.

U no well at all at all.....thanks for giving me a dose of laughter this morning!

I dey wait for Badosky to appear before me....I can still manage Onila though!