streetsoldier1:
I tried all I could to save face, just have to end it all after discovering that the single mother I married still contacts her ex regularly...

Despite forgiving her several errors even while we got engaged, she still has the guts under my roof to mess up.

Warning guys, never ever marry a single mother that has been messed up!!!
6 years was messed up!!!

I don't believe marrying a single mother was the problem. You married the wrong woman, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she's a single mum. Do t generalise. There are women who became mothers, not because of their loose behaviours, but naivety of teen hood, or rape. That doesn't remove the fact that the women are good material. So it's not fair painting all of them with the same shade

Lyydia:

Here is the deal, we plan on no sex before marriage due to personal reasons. I don't ask for money also, we do cuddle and kiss sometimes. But not sex!

.........

Did I overreact? I called, he has not picked up since yesterday.

Your decision of no sex before marriage is a great decision, whether or not you are a virgin. Sex should be had only in marriage. Period. Live by it HONESTLY

However, you kicking him out was actually going too far. Even with your decision, he still is a male, with hormones, you can't remove that from him. So his body will respond to your signals (active or passive). You kicking him out indicates you don't consider his feelings in any way, which is selfish, and also worst of all, it's either its your way, or nothing. I believe there should have been a better way to remind him, and keep reminding him of your decision, not kicking him out. No No.

Unless.... You want to break it off with him, since it's become a sore spot in your relationship and you lack the patience to teach him how to abstain.

lavylilly:
DEAR MEN!!!!

Every woman has a past. Some were physically abused. Some had violent parents. Some had pubertal issues. Some had sexual abuse as a child from their own family members. Some had messed up love stories.

Some had been forced into sex in the name of love. Some had been drugged. Some were date raped. Some had been viciously photographed on bed. Some had been blackmailed by their ex-boyfriend.

Some were in an abusive relationship. Some had menstrual problems. Some had a broken family. Some had a divorce. Some had an obesity issue. Some had financial droughts. Some had drug or alcohol addiction. Some had a few unsuccessful suicide attempts.

If you see a woman, who went through any of these but had already wiped her tears, tied her hair up, masked her sorrows with a divine smile, stood tall and strong, started walking towards her future because she still has some hope left inside her and has not given up on the concept of love that still exists in this world, do not stab her with her past.

Do not confront her. Do not slap her with more abuse. Give way for her and walk beside her. May be hold her hands and walk for a while. You'll know how sweet that soul is and how strong her hopes are! You'll be amazed at how she carries herself after all her energy has been sucked out.

She need not always be only the woman next door or from a different home. She could be your own friend, your own sister, your own girlfriend, your own wife, even may be your own mother.

Do not judge her by her past. Gift her the peaceful future that she deserves. Hold her hands against the world, which knows only to judge. Give her the love that she always yearned for..

Oh please.... Don't use this to escape from the responsibility of your past actions. Why will a sensible man see a lady with a filthy past of whoredom, abortion, wild partying, and debauchery, and still choose such a lady over another with a better, brighter, cleaner and more productive past?

There are consequences for your actions, and you can't sweet talk your way out of it. Your evil ways will find you out!

Varlfott:
Before you ladies respond to this, I'll like to say that most of you are simply cowards. Why waste time making subtle gestures towards a guy you like in hopes that he will read your gestures as greenlights when you can simply just walk up to him and tell him you like him? A lot of us would appreciate you more if you did this. Most guys can't even interpret your green lights and most of you in attempt to show these green lights end up giving mixed signals.

What's the point of giving green lights even? You fear rejection but yet you expect men to overcome their own fear of rejection and approach you?

Why would you have a crush on a guy but expect him to be the one to text or call you first? Why don't you be the first to text or call?

So in leiu or all this, please tell us guys how you indicate that you are attracted to is and explain how you expect us to proceed. How do you show your greenlights? What are those subtle behaviors we guys should look out for?

1. She just want to be around you for any reason possible
2. She laughs at your dry joke
3. She talks to you about her life, challenges and aspirations.

The wàhálà is, these signs are also portrayed by girls who friend-zone. So the dude just has to call the girl out and ask the lady.... "are you being friendly with me cos you see me just as a friend, or do you believe we should be in a relationship? "...
Its better to know where you stand upfront, to avoid stories that touch.

jesusjnr:
IS IT A SIN FOR MARRIED COUPLES TO USE CONDOMS?

---

This post is an offshoot of a recent thread titled, "Are we truly safe when we commit sin with condoms?"

......

That would obviously require married couples completely trusting God concerning childbearing, but i believe the marriages of those do so surely shall surely reap the rewards of them placing such extent of trust in God, because God alone best knows how many children a married couple should have.

God bless.

If you condemn the use of condom, what about pills, or withdrawal method, or hormone injections and other forms of birth control??

Speak where the Bible speaks and be silent where the Bible is silent. And when making inferences, please make inferences within the intentions of the writer.

The Bible CLEARLY is against fornication and adultery (whether or not condom is involved).

Sex is only permitted in marriage, and the purpose of sex ISN'T only for procreation, there's pleasure therein also. 1cor 7:
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

You cannot use the case of Onan to judge on condom, because God's clear instruction to him was to sleep with his dead brothers wife SO THAT HE COULD IMPREGNATE HER, but enjoyed the pleasure of the sexual act, and instead of pouring his seed into his brothers wife to get her pregnant, he poured it on the floor. Now that action was pure wickedness, and God punished him for it.

So if a married couple decides to have sex for its pleasure and use means to prevent pregnancy, that is still within the purpose of God for sex. And if the married couple decides to have sex to bring forth a child, that's still great, and of for both reasons that still awesome.

Don't restrict sex in marriage to child bearing alone.

IAmStrange:
Hmmm!

I've always been an advocate of this method...
...

.......

As for the second issue... What your girlfriend did is a sign of what may happen or might have happened if the matter becomes more complicated than that.

Someone who easily gives in to seeking attention elsewhere when the two of you are not talking? That's dangerous.

I'm not saying that it will happen for sure but it's dangerous.

Have you not heard stories of women who had misunderstanding with their spouses and then they sought solace in another man until that other man capitalised on her emotional state and slept with her?

There were even cases where it did not happen once. The first time it happened, the woman began to enjoy the "company" of that other man and they ended up having sex several or many more times.

And in a marriage, misunderstandings will most likely happen every now and then. It's not something that can easily be avoided. So if it happens at a time when there's another man in the picture, only God knows where it'll eventually end.

It doesn't certainly define her but your girlfriend seems to have such weakness.

.... Will it be hasty generalization if I said all women had this attention issue? Cos now a days, just a little issue and there's already another guy person she's seeking "comfort and attention" from..

flange:


Nah u dont i started Python at 30

What route do you suggest in this Nigerian economy? Web development or Data science

flange:


Nah u dont i started Python at 30

Wow.... Then I have no excuse... Thank you for replying and your encouraging words.

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

Sure... Just don't cheat on her or make her feel used. Treat her nicely.

ricson11:
Please I am planning to get a new phone with high quality camera and good battery and my budget8 is #36,000.

Xiaomi redmi 8a. Buy, and thank me later

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to..........

[s]He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me.[/s] Do I stay or quit?

I don't think you know the meaning of love or how it's expressed. That man doesn't love you. He's only out to prove that you are an unfaithful woman that can't be trusted, and MUST be controlled.

Marry at your own peril.

flange:



After learning the programming language,develop as many projects as possible and create documentation e.g power points just for the recruiter to have an idea of ur project.
Create a xing profile and make sure u make references to all projects u have created while applying for jobs via links etc.
So if Germany is ur target which of course is good because they need IT skilled workers.
Apply apply apply ,ignore setbacks and dont stop

Wow.. I've got a long way to go then. I'm 27 and just learning web development and python.

I don't believe this... Nothing on other fields like tech, or finance or the economy? We aren't this shallow as a people abeg

niaralandtopuser:
It is not impossible but not everyone can forgive a cheating girlfriend. Everyone need a girl he can trust a bit. Even if he forgive you, he is going to find it hard to trust you and that could only mean a very toxic relationship

And this answers it. The trust is GONE. Even if you two get back together, every call you make/receive, ever hi/hello you give or receive, every action of yours towards the opposite sex will be termed as infidelity.

Gaspardd:
She told me specifically that if i do not go to church with her next sunday, i shld just forget about her for the rest of my life.

Her claim is...she has never made any request like that b4, so for her to insist on it means she is very serious about it. Tho my response was "I'll rather die" but reason why she would be so clear cut about it kinda bothers me. One mind is telling me to just say fùck it and be a man but another voice is telling me to give it a rethink or something.

Why is she dating you? What you two value are clearly different.

lavylilly:
Can a woman with PHD get married to a man with no DEGREE ?

Nope. The hypergamous nature of women would not allow it.

flange:



Programming for ill say its consistency.
U can do it just be focused and keep on keeping on i learnt python and machine learning this year and my life never remained the same.

Please can you share your job hunting experience after gaining your knowledge?

Divinelady:
. Really?
Truth is I learnt a lot of things from my mum..I remember when mumsy will pay our school fees...I have 4 siblings...popsy was always in lag working and then whenever he came home, she'll ask us to go and thank him for paying our school fees....We knew he wasn't the one paying cos he usually looked confused whenever we thanked him.So I already have the mindset of doing things on my own if I can afford it.
So tell me why I would disturb another woman's child with bills if I can afford it....it's only when it's beyond my power that I'll run to him for help..

You mum is a good woman!

Thegamingorca:




It's me. I'm the problem. You are perfect. But I'm too fvcked up upstairs. I don't deserve you babe. You deserve better

You are in spirit... LoL

I'll take the 15m o, work a permanent visa for myself in Canada, and get out of this country!

zone51:



If you can self study, goto http://freetutorials.eu or http://freetutorials.us, download the complete pack for "Web Development Course" and start learning gradually.

The image below are list of stuffs I downloaded from there few months ago. Total is 65GB and So help me God, I have mastered 2 out of it. Though I have unlimited internet access at work, so it was easier to download them.

So it all depends on what you want to decide here.

Wow... Thanks so much for this site... Thank you.. Information really is power

I speak as a Christian

If you are not ready for marriage don't bother entering into a relationship. It won't help you. Rather cultivate your SELF CONTROL, and prepare yourself marriage.

Song of sol 8:4= I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, DO NOT STIR UP NOR AWAKEN LOVE UNTIL IT PLEASES.


If you think you can't hold your body anymore, then rather than fornicate or commit adultery, go and marry.
1cor 7:9= but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

God DETESTS fornication and adultery. There's nothing you will say/think/do as a guy or girl that will change God's plan for sex. Sex is only allowed in marriage. It may seem unreasonable to you, but that's God's plan for sex. Only in marriage!

Heb 13:4= Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Remember, I speak as a Christian.

Still relevant in 2019..sign of a useful thread

LillyVal:
You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it...

Because at the end of the day, if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep asking them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you have to understand that aching for them to do so before they

You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it. It will only leave you empty. You have to walk away. You have to let this person grow on their own terms, because you can’t love someone into their potential. You can’t love someone into being ready. They have to do that on their own.

And I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you deeply care for. I know how hard it is to lay all of that love down, to close your heart off to all that it sees in another human being.

But in walking away you will learn how to pour all of the love that you were giving to the wrong person, back into yourself. And you will learn how to pour it into all that you desire in life, you will learn how to pour it into your growth, into your art, into your hope.

You will learn how to stand up for your feeling, how to stand up for its value. And when you teach yourself that you deserve to be loved, without having to beg for that love.

Words I wish I'd heard back then... It's all good now.. Sometimes we need to hurt to grow.

NwaAmaikpe:




Zero shame, zero dignity.

Naija girls and the leech mentality.
They never bring anything to the table except their kpekus, which many atimes is over-drilled and smelly yet they expect their family to become the man's prime responsibility?

I thought she said she is self-made?
Fake mumu girl, you used over 2million naira to fix fake yansh when your family is in the village dying from financial troubles.

Please if you are poor, marry a poor woman.
If you are rich, marry a rich woman.
I pity you if you are rich and decide to marry a poor woman because this is very typical of umu nwanyi Imo.

Sabinus married an Obowo woman and she came into the marriage with her last sister and younger brother saying she needed company since Sabinus was always away at work.

A year later, her other brother was living with them in the guise of undergoing I.T.(I need not tell you that it was Sabinus who was sponsoring him through school.)

Sabinus's wife gave birth and her mom came over for omugwo.
The baby she came to do omugwo for was already 4years old but mama wouldn't go back to Obowo. Sabinus eventually constructed a kiosk in front of his compound for mama.

Sabinus is living with his wife, her mom, her two brothers and her sister but Sabinus's own family have never slept a night in his house.

Ike please don't be like Sabinus who is now a means of livelihood for his in-laws.

Dump the tramp after this show, she has used you enough.

And that's how sabinus changed to mumunus

Tobinrobin:
I remembered when I was serving in ado Ekiti. There was this lady that was really into me & I knew it, Her name was Bisola & I also liked her because she was so beautiful. She will come around , cook watch some movies and we’d gist. There was this particular day she came around , cooked for us both after CDS, went to the bathroom , took her bath and came out wearing this extremely skimpy gown. Omo my D was ‘bout to expose me. I didn’t even try to stand up. She came to sit on the bed, went for her phone & boom I could see her bosoms standing firm & intact not those fallen oranges, she giggled & went to the TV stand, bent down in search for the remote and whew the D was fully erect. I could see the yellow legs and the main although slightly. I was EXTREMELY aroused & was almost tempted but I resisted the urge because I had a fiancée, I didn’t want to cheat. I saved myself by faking a call and asked her to let’s stroll to a friend’s place. We’re still very good friends though but I could still remember that day vividly

That is wisdom for 2019!

glorybasseymma:
I was employed by Mrs. Jola Otedola. to work as a social media person. My duties were to open all the social media pages, create awareness, runs Ads and promote the company online and bring people to books ticket etc. and I can also assist others in ticketing and reservation, attend to client's travel needs.

I open all the social media pages, drive traffics and followers to the page less than 3weeks. I Runs ads and promote the business, contact an influencer to help us promote our next tours. some people called for booking but because of the money she is asking them to pay, the decline and book else were.

Now after 3weeks of paying transport from Alagbole to Victoria Island every day. She told me yesterday that she wants t to employ someone else, that does not bring sales. NOTE(The business just started on the first of 2nd of September this 2019)

I am the one that opens all the social media pages.

I ask of my 3weeks payment, She calls the security to throw me out. Saying that I am a church rat that I should go to court, telling me not to go to police cause they will not do anything to her. Because she has money and she is married to OTEDOLA JUNIOR.

And I am the 5 person she is doing this too. The business name is Flightjara Travels and Tour.LOcated in SAnusi fafunwa victoria island Lagos. I have the contact of another worker if you need more detail. I needs judges with this, cause she believes I can not do anything to her because of who she is married to,

Something about your post reminds me of stories I've read from Reddit's - r/pro revenge section. Where cheated and disgruntled employees totally screw over their very offensive boss.

piagetskinner:
I can imagine the monstrosity of the engine sound




Choiiiiii!!!

You spoke my mind o... Just the G63 sound gives me a mental orgasm everytime I hear it pass.. That V8... Damn, now a 12

While I'm wowed by the transformation and engineering, I think a Jeep track hawk will still beat the thing in a quater mile run.

Oh... Should it develop faults, how do you repair?? LoL

Jimasun:
If you are wondering why African society is not moving forward, this thread says it all.
What relevance does dream have to do with using your common sense?
Do you know the number of people pastors have deceived into wrong marriage?

And to all of you abusing Nigerian ladies for their waywardness, please are promiscuous ladies dating themselves? Are guys not also cheating?
As much as I hate feminism, this patriarch seems to build a fortress around some people's sense.
If you cheat and accuse ladies of cheating, sense fall on you.

Thanks baba, You've said it all.. Guys that complain that women are unfaithful, are they themselves faithful?

aishaemeka:
There are signs that shows you are getting into the wrong marriage. Many people see these signs but overlook them in the name of love, "he or she will change", marriage will settle it or whatever. These signs came to many divorced couples in their relationships before they even got married.

"Their should be no mercy" on nonsense before marriage. What do i mean? you need to trash out all your inconveniences with your partner before marriage. Their should be nothing like managing confusion when your fiance or fiancee is close to someone of the opposite sex and says "we are just friends", or you see your fiance or fiancee with a group of bad friends, and he or she does not want to give them up. Make sure you are very okay with your partner before you marry. Dont assume anything, verify till you have peace of mind. Marriage is destiny, not dating...

I will like to tell you some signs that shows you are getting into the wrong marriage...



(4) BEING MADE TO BE NEEDY: My next-level brothers and sisters, if you are praying for your partner and your partner is not praying for you, you are pretty "irrelevant" in the relationship. If you are praying for the relationship to work-out and your partner is relaxed, then you are pretty "irrelevant". It does not make sense to pray for a wife or a husband, while the wife or the husband you are praying to get does not see you as an answered prayer. Please anywhere you are not honoured, leave that place. You will be "dehydrated" if you go into a relationship where you are managed or made needy.

This one touched me.. That's like being in a relationship and still feeling single.