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KNEELING TO PROPOSE: LOYALTY OR BAITING Through the ages, men (and women) used several means to ask for hand of the woman (or man) they love or cherish in marriage. From parents match-making their children, some offering their daughters as gift to the rich and influential, to some literary selling their daughters in the name of marriage. Marriage proposals has however changed since the advent of civilization with men now taking more direct approach to propose rather than using the backdoor of enticing the bride to be parents with money and wealthy where most brides especially in Africa, meet their husband for the first time on wedding day. The present day Norm is for couples to have dated for a while (if they are not religious) to know if their relationship will go beyond the boyfriend/girlfriend status, to a life time commitment when one of them (man in most case) will pop the question. Men are getting more caring, advance and romantic day by day and so is marriage proposals which is what led us to the most celebrated way of proposing in this century; kneeling to propose. HISTORY NOT HELPING History fails to tell us where or when the trend of kneeling down to propose started from, as there are several theories and presumptions as to why men who has natural ego and sense of authority decides to go against their nature in order to have their woman. However, with my little research on what ladies feel about the method of proposals, it was discovered majority of modern day ladies (both secular and religious) will love to experience the kneeling down to propose method. Around 60% of those I interviewed strongly love it while 20% were indifferent towards it but won’t mind experiencing it, with below 20% preferred their men to just ask without any paparazzi. Can we now conclude that men are only dancing to the tunes of ladies as per how they wish to be proposed to, by kneeling down with one leg up while raising the diamond ring or there is more? [img][/img] WHY DO MEN KNEEL TO PROPOSE? We can give many reasons, personal or general, good or bad, as to why men proposes that way but let’s look at the act of kneeling down itself since at least history got plenty to offer in that regard. So when do men (human) kneel? - In religion: Most religious people kneel while worshiping or praying to God, which is a sign of respect and acknowledgment that they are surrendering all to Him. It can also be a way of passionately begging Him or calling His attention to their case. - Knighting: When an emperor or a king is making knight out of people, they kneel down (in the same manner men propose marriage with one leg slightly raised) as a sign of respect and loyalty to the king. Same goes for when a king accolades chieftaincy title on men, they kneel to receive the symbol of the title as a sign of respect, loyalty and total obedience to the king. - In War: Apart from raising the two hands which means “don’t shoot” or “I give up”, kneeling down in war means surrendering to the opposition. It also means “I’m all yours” or telling the opposition “you win”. - Punishment: Parents, teachers, and elders (especially in Africa) use kneeling down couple with other gymnastic positions as punishment to correct erring children. - Culture: Lastly, in African culture (Yoruba to be precise), kneeling down is a sign of greeting the elders by the female folks while the male folks prostrate. Wives also kneel to present food to their husbands just as slaves or servants do to their masters. A child that kneels to greet is regarded as one with proper home training. From all the reasons above, we can conclude that kneeling means submission. It means giving all to the person standing and also means coming down to elevate the person standing. It’s an act of loyalty to the person standing. MY POINT EXACTLY Now that it has been established that kneeling is an act of surrender, loyalty and submission, noting we also establish from that small survey that most women believe it to be romantic and would prefer it to other methods of proposing, we can categorically say behaviors in relationship/marriage after the proposals is in direct contrast to the stated reasons. Men, naturally egoistic, tends to go back to their orientation of being in control and forget totally how they surrender all to the lady while asking for her hand in marriage. Well it is in man’s physiological and psychological buildup to be the one protecting and providing for his family which is his wife in this case, thereby assuming authority. MY CONCLUSION Loyalty should cut across all areas and not just when proposing. The act in itself is good and romantic as some will say and acting it publicly is announcing to everybody, you love the lady, but the main work and the real deal actually staying loyal in marriage. Kneeling down to propose while treating the woman (or man if it’s the wife) with less respect in marriage is like baiting fish. Nobody give food to a fish after it’s been caught for consumption. Be loyal but don’t be stupid. Loyalty is not stupidity rather is it losing your ego as a man, not at all, you are still in charge! In addition, kneeling own to propose or proposing generally should be romantic. It’s supposed to be a great day to remember for both party and not a day of dejection. It is therefore important to be very sure the lady (or guy if the lady is the one proposing) is eagerly waiting for your proposal before you embark on it, to avoid emotional damaging public humiliation due to proposal rejection, which is capable of destroying one’s orientation about proposing later in life or even loving ever again. It is better to be sure and have it in mind that not all relationship leads to marriage. If it will lead to marriage, the green light is usually too bright to go unnoticed. ~ BABSOPEY cc: rachealfst angelinastto ROHY TheBlessedMan blexxyn1 https://babsopey./2017/03/15/kneeling-down-to-propose-loyalty-or-baiting/
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Angelinastto:Hi angel. How are you faring now? Please do take care of yourself I beg. I'll PM you now, kindly reply so w can talk better off public. Take care |
Hello guys, the PDF format of MFYL PR2 is ready for download at your loving pleasure. Please let’s ensure we stick to the copyright rules that governs intellectual properties as it applies to both MFYL PR1 and PR2 even though it’s for free download. CLICK HERE 2 DOWNLOAD Thanks guys, waiting for your comments and reviews. Note: The next story ONCE A CHEAT (c 2017) is closer than ever, look out. CC: ROYH, DTOBS, Chemicalreaction, Kommonsense, teel123, Angelinastto, Odochime, rachealfst, Ator008, TheBlessedMan, uniqueogo |
ROYH:Thanks bro. How are you doing? CC: Amerage angellinasto ChemicaReaction WHIZKIDEFE TheBlessedMan coasta concudee olatex KomonSense haryurmide yeyedeysmell |
ROYH:Happy weekend guys. The pdf version of MFYL Pr1 is now available for free download. Click this link https://babsopey./2017/03/ 03/mfyl-pr1 Or go to www.babsopey. to download it. You can also find the link on my Facebook wall. Thanks guys. BTW new story is cooking, coming soonest. |
Dear Angelinastto. Great work deserve great recognition. I'm giving you standing ovation dear. Well done. Please make sure you save and achieve this. Create the hard copy, it'll be nice to see it on library shelf. Though it will require you edit and re edit. But you are capable dear. This piece can fetch you awards in literary world. Or at least start with the pdf version like I'm currently doing to MY FINAL YEAR LOVE, PERFECT REJECTION 1&2. Some of us love to read and re read books that we love. God bless you and your work dear. Babsopey got your back. |
Angelinastto:And that makes you a centurion dear. Very rare on nairaland literature section. Well done sweetheart, I've always known you capable. Believe me you are even better. God bless your work dear. |
rachealfst:My absence online is nothing but a devil that has come to steal kill and destroy, but I say kolewerk. Imagine I even missed your very birthday. Me, myself and I, your friend and fan is hereby wishing you a happy belated birthday. I've known you only for few months but you've shown me how wonderful you are in those short period. When I saw your pictures, I was like damn! How can God endow a single person with beauty and brain. You are a rare gem dear and a wonderful inspiration. As you put smile in people's faces, may smile never leave your face. This is a year of positive surprises and so shall it be for you. God bless you dear. From your friend and number one Fan Babsopey, Have a great birthday. Love you |
Life is a teacher. We all learn everyday till death. We all make mistakes especially in decision making (career and relationship wise) and some of us are lucky to get away with our wrong choice why some are not so lucky. So therefore check and recheck your next move. On relationship, my advice to us all, both male and female is to love with both our heart and our head. How do we achieve that? It's easy. Always hope for the best but expect the worst. I've so programmed my mind never to be shock at human behavior again. Do I still trust people? Yes, in fact I have some I trusted than myself. But I do, having it at a corner that they might change anytime. Verdict: Trust, Love and believe in people. But always expect worse. How then do we conquer disappointment? It's easy to tell people to move on but it's not that easy to move on. It requires a lot of effort. Best way to move on is to get a good hubby to focus on. Something that naturally makes you happy. For example, if I'm the victim. I dedicate my time to reading motivational books and teaching people. Yes I love teaching so much. Or I can start writing story using what just happened to me. On a lighter mode, I'll come to nairaland regularly to read both funny and stupid comments. Lols. Do what you love to do and you'll forget the bullsh*t. Olatex and rachealfst, thanks for the mention and quotes. Wishing everybody a great day ahead. Toyin dear, Well done! |
Angelinastto:Vex ke, don't vex for your brother o. "Iku lo meja kako" (na death make fish bend). I am fine my dear. Sorry ehn, sebi you no vex again |
rachealfst:Well you just dialled the RIGHT NUMBER for inviting me dear. The Title is attractive enough, what did you get in your ssce English, A I guess. Your Titling ability is Gbam! God bless you dear, keep it rolling. Angelinastto I sight you dear, pardon my ghost mode all this while, it's "ise aje". Hope you are good? |
olatex25:Happy new year my brother. In this year, we shall be fulfilled. We'll not lack but always enough to give. Have fun guys |
Angelinastto:Happy Christmas and new year in advance dear and everybody. Wishing us a prosperous year ahead |
Angelinastto:And I was there asking about you, not knowing my not been online all these while has made miss a lot. How are you doing dear |
rachealfst:What's up Toyin, how are you doing? Missing you guys here. Hope your next story is closer to the public. Where is Angelinastto it's been long I heard from her too. |
*Sighs* Sincerely, we don't know how much reading testimonies (books) can help us. I know some of us has read too many books and because of that want something different and unusual but I tell you GOOD NEWS IS A FOOD TO THE SOUL. Yes this is a work of fiction but believe me you can only give what you have. I'm so happy you decided to come out with this story. Honestly I'm inspired myself, I needed that verse "There is hope for a tree if it be cut down, that it will sprout again and that the tender branches will not cease - Job 14:7" God bless you sweetheart Oluwatoyin rachealfst. God bless you dear. Maybe Angelinastto, you and I will combine to write a story one day. I'm super joyfully enjoying your company (you both). God bless you so much |
Loooools for the first time I felt what my readers meant by saying my suspense was too much. Maybe because I'm the writer, I usually don't feel there is suspense there, but with this your last update, I can see where they are coming. I just took some of the dose I've been giving people lols. Nice one dear Angelinastto I'm addicted! |
Angelinastto:Happy to hear that dear. You are stronger than you think jor. Project's going fine eee, I'm hoping it'll birth another story though |
Angelinastto:Sorry dear. I think this boo make sense o, agbo is the way to go in this recession. Get well soonest dearie |
Angelinastto:Seeing this late o, but I'm here with Flood lights, in case touch light ain't enough. Well done dear @ angelinastto |
Sharafawizkidayo:My brother, I'm on to a personal project taking away my time o. I usually come on NL to read @rachealfst and @Angelinastto Hope you are good my brother @Sharafawizkidayo |
Hmmm Selfless life. I've not missed much here. Keep it rolling sweetheart Angelinastto |
Oh! I've missed a lot o. We'll done TY, |
DTOBS:Lmao recession don hit suya too ni. Alright don't bother, I come with some chill five-a-live. Care to join. |
elskillful:Lols. The weather is hot so let me manage cold juice, if you can order asun or at least suya too. Lols. Thanks man |
Oluwatoyin here I come o. Continue. Reading mode in full activation |
I don finally pack my car here dear Angelinastto. I'm now a reader, till my next write up. Fire on baby. |
Angelinastto:Thanks dear. And it's sweet, kind and relieving to know you are there... How are you today. I'll have time to enjoy your story better now. |
[b] EPISODE THIRTY-EIGHT MFYL PR2* *FINAL EPISODE* Both the dead and the lost will meet one day - Yoruba proverb. Throw stone into the market with caution, it might just hit your brother - Yoruba proverb. The whole sitting room went dead silence as Aramide and I looked at each other. The scenario on our birthday quickly play itself on my head especially uncle Ben's statement "who are you?" Ben: Who's the are you talking about? Mother: I'm sorry, you've left before I discovered I was pregnant but I told your brother. Mum: That's true, she told my husband. I knew too. Mother: I'm really sorry. Aramide, Opeyemi your father is alive, this is your father. I'm sorry about everything (crying) At this point Aramide has joined our mother crying while uncle Ben was forcing not crying. I kept mute and cool and was just ruminating on the thought of me calling Uncle Ben "Dad". I've not call anybody by that since I my former father died. Only God knows what was going through uncle Ben's mind as he just stood there looking like a lost sheep. How does a man who does not have children and is not capable of giving birth do when he realize he's having full grown twins? What a life! He looked at me and smile while u smile back to him. Our relationship just change from uncle nephew to father son, which means he doesn't need to adopt or announce me anymore. However, having a daughter is new for him as he had never met Aramide before. He changed his gaze at me and look at Aramide who now look more like him in my view. He gazed such much on her and forced out words to her. Ben: It's okay, I understand, God knows about everything. (facing Aramide) Can I call you daughter? Instead of Aramide to answer him, she went to him and hug him still while crying on his chest. Uncle Ben, I mean my Dad, kept on rubbing her back saying the words "Daddy is sorry". After some minutes, I started to lose my stability, I had stood for so long I did not even know I was no more with the crutches. I took a step closer to the nearest chair but almost fell down trying to take the second step but Temmy was at hand to grab and help me to the chair. I expect the crying competition to round up but it kept increasing as Aramide won't stop crying on the chest of her father. I don't blame her though, I had it easier than her. She has been a subject of abuse from her step father all these while, it is only normal for her to be in need of father figure and now that she's in the arm of her own father, nobody can take it away from her. I got tired of the crying crusade so I decided to start laughing out loud. My laughter caught attention of everybody including Aramide. I'm sure they'll be thinking "hope something has not enter this boy's brain". Me: Ah, thank God, I now have your attention. Aramide that chest isn't only yours, but you've occupied the whole place. Where do I stay there now? Everybody went into laughter at my remarks but instead of Aramide to stop crying, she left our father and hugged me on the chair sitting on my laps. I pet her and told her to stop crying or I'll join her. She did stop crying but wasn't letting go of me. Uncle Ben, Damn! I mean our father, don't mind me, I'm not used to it yet. Our father just stood there looking at both of us. Aunty Joy joined him and stood in his arms. Later she left him and came to us where we were sitting. Joy: Will, you are already a darling but I need a request from you both. I know I'm not as old and I can't be your your mother because you are both grown up now any your mother is still alive but I still want to be. Can I be your mother? Aramide smile and nod her head to say yes but I pranked her. Me: You said yes? You people are not considering me o, how will I manage between three mothers? We all laughed as she hugged both of us. Happiness they say is a state of mind, what we have is Joy. We forgot all we've went through and embrace the moment. We do not have time to be arguing about Vera's Dad who came to ask for forgiveness, we do not even know he existed at that moment. How I wish both my mother and father had not remarried at that point. How sweet will it be for the four of us to enjoy a nuclear family life we deserved. Life has got a different thing in mind and I'm happy we are all alive to see this moment. Orire: My friend, my daughter is marrying your son Ben: (smiles) Why have I not meet that your daughter all these while? Orire: You have, here she is (Pointing to Funmi who was sitting close to me) Ben: Are you kidding? Funmi is your daughter? Orire: I was surprised to see they were already dating. Ben: (shaking his head) What they call destiny is really strong. It's better for one to love life day by day and not trying to be smarter than God. Destiny just outsmart us. Orire: All I know is it's a win/win thing, kids are happy, we are happy. Aunty Joy received a call and went outside to pick it. It took her up to one hour before she returned back inside. I guessed she was outside the compound as uncle Ben also received a call during her absence telling the person "No". I guessed he was talking to Aunty Joy on phone as she eventually came back with a funny look while Uncle Ben, I mean my Dad also frown as his countenance changed. Before he could say anything, my Dad's Sister (DS) came into the sitting room. I guess there is more to the day than we've witnessed and indeed there was more. DS: Ben, I am so sorry about everything, I regret evert of my actions and inactions. I don't know how much you know but I'm really sorry. It's as if Samanja hypnotized me. My husband did nothing wrong to me and I lied saying he was abusing me, he did not. He cared for me and love me but greed pitched me with Samanja. Now the same Samanja want me dead if I can't get all what he wanted which is why I'm here because I'm sure you won't want me dead. I have damaged every relationship I have and therefore have nowhere to go again. Before she could continue with her crying talking, Uncle Ben hugged her and asked her not to talk anymore. She released herself from my Dad and faced me. Meanwhile, Aramide was still on my arms. DS: I can't remember your name but I want to apologize to you. I'm really sorry. That you are alive is a blessing to me. I was not okay since the day Samanja shot you because I know your father, my younger brother will never forgive me for been involved in your death. Dad: I am not your younger brother and I'm not dead DS: (smiles) I'm not talking about you his adopted father but his real father, our younger brother. Dad: I am his father, the real father. They are my twin DS: (looking confused) I don't understand you. You mean he's indeed your son? Dad: Yes, and that's my daughter, the girl that was kidnapped that day. DS: Since when did you know all this? Dad: Since two hours ago DS: Oh my God! What have I done? (She paused for a moment and cleaned her tears) Ejire, I am very sorry Dad: Aramide, William, I know most people don't know this, not even my best friend Orire, nor my lovely wife Joy. I want you guys to meet my twin sister. She's Taiwo while I'm her Kehinde. Orire: Wao! This is interesting! Me: God must really give me power to erase so many things on my head. As we were still relishing on the newest of realities in two days, a rather unexpected and unwelcome visitor came in. No it wasn't Samanja, I don't think he knows our place, and No it wasn't Victoria, she'll probably be back at PH by then. It was Uche, yes the same Uche that supposed to be on the hospita bed receiving treatment. She came in looking so dull, lacking energy I wondered why she left hospital because I don't think she's been discharged. She was almost falling down as she tried to talk. She came with a woman whom she has a striking resemblance. I guess she's her mother. Me: Uche why did you leave hospital? You don't look okay Uncle: I'm sorry Will, I'm really sorry for everything, for betraying your trust. Yes I did love you, but I shouldn’t have done what I did. I followed bad advice and it's wrong on all counts. I'll understand if you don't forgive me. I know fate doesn't want me to have that child and I'm embracing the fate, but I can't afford you not forgiving me. Me: Uche ice forgiven you since, you just have to forgive yourself. Thank God you are alive, it could have been another thing entirely. I think you should go back to the hospital, you are obviously not yet okay. Woman: Are you Will? Me: Yes ma'am Woman: I'm sorry for intruding your house, I'm Uche’s mother. She has told me everything that happened, and all that she did. You are a kind person, please forgive my daughter from your heart. I came down from Lagos today after she called me she's here. Imagine the person we all thought is in PH, even her sister is still expecting her. I'm the one that insisted we ask for your forgiveness before leaving. Please forgive her,take it I'm the one that offend you. I beg you in the name of God. Before she could continue and before I could answer her, my Dad's twin (Taye) confronted her Taye: Opakrite! (Referring to Uche’s mother) Opakrite: Aunty! What are you doing here? Taye: I should be asking you the same thing Opakrite: Uche is my daughter, I'm here because of her. She just finish her service year and then ended up here Taye: This is Uche? Opakrite: Yes, it's been long you see her. The last time you came to our place she was in school. Taye: I remember, Wao, kids grow faster this day o. Ben you don't know Opakrite? Dad: I'm trying to remember Taye: Ah! This is not good o. Opakrite you too don't know him? Opakrite: No Aunty, I don't Taye: I think we need a big family meeting. Ben can't you see her face? Can't you see our mother's face on her? She's the first daughter our mother had for her new husband Dad: Are you kidding? This is Phebe? Opakrite: Yes sir I am. Dad: Oh my my, I know her as Phebe I don't know she's also Opakrite Taye: She stays in Lagos which is why we don't see often. Opakrite this is your eldest brother, my twin brother. Human are indeed water, we can flow anywhere. Our roots have similar connections one way or the other, no matter the tribe or race we all come from. Each one of us are related to each other on way or the other, no matter how long the chain might be, at worst it's traced to either Noah or Adam. Why don't you treat the next person you'll meet as a family, don't forget we all live in glass house, cricket shouldn't be our game. Treat men the way you want to be treated. Do good to that stranger and you might be helping your own brother. Let me quickly imitate you with the Albert family tree. Mr Albert (my grandfather) has four kids, three boys and a girl. His first issue were twins, Uncle Ben (my father) and his twin sister (Taye). Born next to them is their brother, who took care of me as a father (Debby's father). Their father had the fourth son out of wedlock but the woman died while giving birth, so the boy was taken care of by my grandmother. The last born was the one that died in Asia. After their father (my grandfather) death, their mother (my grandmother) remarried a kalabari man and left to stay with her new husband going only with my father's twin (Taye). She (my grandmother) has children with her new husband (I don't know how many) of which Opakrite (Uche’s mother) is the first born. This means Uche’s mother (Opakrite) is my father's maternal younger sister and that makes Uche my Legal Cousin! What a life! What if Uche’s pregnancy had stayed? I would have been expecting my first child from my own cousin, Abomination! That is the story of my family and my love life. We all got married to our respective sweethearts and life is as peaceful as it can be. * ****** **** ***** ********************************* I was having a wonderful dream when somebody jumped on me, and before I could defend my self another jumped on my chest. Girl: I am an Elephant! Boy: I am a Lion! Me: And you guys have turned me to donkey! Boy: Daddy you are not a donkey Girl: Yes Daddy you are Gorilla Me: What? You mother! Funmi: Stop that Mr Gorilla (we all laughed) Yes it's not dream. That's my family, Funmi my beautiful angelic wife gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. By next month we'll have our fifth wedding anniversary. I don't know if we'll live happily ever after, but we are currently happy and it can only be better. We have a date with Temmy and Rachael, today's their 6th wedding anniversary. Yeah, they tied the knot before us because we were waiting for my automobile and agricultural company to hit the ground running. Yeah, I did not inherit my father's company, at least not yet. He's still alive enjoying Aunty Joy my third mother. Debby has already taken the kids to my mother (Debby's mother) for the weekend, so I have the whole time with Funmi MY FINAL YEAR LOVE *************** *************** ******************** GLORY BE TO GOD ALMIGHTY WHO KEPT ME AND MY READERS THROUGHOUT. Shout out to the 6 pens, three 60 leaves and one 40 leaves that I consumed in composing this (Lols), and to my phone that I turned into a computer for typing and uploading (winks) Thanks to everybody. Please permit me not to mention names or monikers because *in Tiwa Salvage voice* If I start to talk... I'm obviously gonna write more than three pages. I appreciate you all. Till my next inspiration, I remained my humble self @Babsopey on every social network, even Google (winks) except the one I don't use. Do good to all men and expect less from all men, with that you'll be happy.[/b] |
Angelinastto:Thanks dear. Just that remaining episodes might not reach that. Hope you are great today. Lesson I learnt from my distraction Never! I repeat Never! I mean never ever thought or assume you know somebody very well. Weather is to be more trusted than human |
temmiesexy:temmiesexy Bae of life, kisses received and reciprocated. How are you doing? |
Concerning Fred and Funmi’s Dad. It's a part of the story I purposefully deviated away from as it will only make the story longer without falling in line with the original story line. It was however worth mentioning which is why Funmi had to mention it to Will. Funmi's Father (Daddy Orire) had political ambition which was why he's trying to pitch tent with politicians (Fred's father). But like I said, it'll only create unnecessary diversion to the story which I quickly avoided by not talking about it again Thanks Cc: boladex1 |
