Shut up focused or whatever your name is, u lots have started pissing me off.

Yeah Farouk did what he did because he believed in it. I don't condone it and neither do I support it. I actually feel for the boy because I believe he was misled or maybe still, associated with the wrong crowd in his quest for knowledge. He went about it the wrong way. I don't know what he was thinking and neither do I know him. The only person that can say anything is the boy. I think it's high time we all start standing up for ourselves and stop hiding behind the label Nigeria. Oh yes he has attracted the world to that country but what about its reputation before? It wasn't like it was a poor innocent country. or was it? I beg to differ.

People are going to look down at us because of many reasons, could be my skin colour, could be my race could be my religion could be the way I talk. It could be many things, we just have to rise above that( That's life for us). The country or whatever your background is just a stepping stone in life. It's part of who you are but doesn't mean it dictates who or what you will be in future.  

Oh yes individuals make up the country but that doesn't make everyone in Nigeria a suicide bomber and pple also remember there are muslims and there are some people that call themselves but don'tknow what's in the Quran.  I see most people singing Fashola's name, but do you lots know he's a muslim.

Already Nigeria is struggling with bad image which they have abroad as a result of 419, prostitution, illegal immigration, fraud etc,  This is as a result of bad economy which is caused by muslims who have been ruling the country since independence. The truth hurts.

Are you dumb or something? I believe everyone has a choice in life, so all these problems mentioned above are as a result of muslims ruling Nigeria, u see crime everyday everywhere, so you are saying illegal immigration is predominantly a Nigerian problem oh pls do yourself a favour and get on the internet and pls do a research on all of the thingsI have highlighted above that you claim was caused by a muslim leader in Nigeria.

It's time y'll wake up and smell the coffee and stop blaming muslims for everything. My twopence worth

Hi Girls,

Do you all mind if I join this thread?

Arlington, have you tried steroids like Prednisolone, it might be that your body is fighting the pregnancy. Speak to your dr abt it? don't know if they prescribe it in naija. Just my two pence worth.

I've been in the same situation and I know how it feels but I was and still the wife. Since they don't get on well with each other, I doubt it will happen unless the Good Lord interfers. Familarity breeds contempt. 


Let's look at it from two point of view.

The Wife

The length of your marriage: If you've been married for a short while, ain't no wife will want someone living under her roof cos d first few years make or break a marriage.
Have you two got any kids?
Does he help at all(house hold chores)?
Does he make any contribution to bills? This varies from family to family, it's all down to your upbringing. I started making contributions from age of 16 so it varies and I felt it wasn't fair to have an adult living with us who wasn't making any contributions.

the brother
I'm also sure things your bro wasn't seeing before he was living under your roof has now been made obvious. He might have respected your wife before and doesn't anymore. Do you two fight in front of your bro? Name calling etc. Do you do any household chores your bro doesn't like seeing you do?

I'm talking from my own point of view. His sibling actually helped but never made any contribution whatsoever which can be very annoying cos I had to.
What stemmed from her living with us?
I don't have a good relationship with my inlaws as a result and up to now
In my case we had just gotten married and immediately his sibling started living with us, it was a recipe for disaster.
My husband eventually asked his sibling to leave and guess who they blamed Me of course.

This is something you have to consider as well. Are you ready for your family to blame your wife hence having a strained relationship with them.

will love to add more but I gat to go.

Pple never seem to amaze, I've lived in UK for 13 years and if the opportunity arises, i'll take my bag and go to naija forever. NHS and education is not free like some of you think, it's our taxes and to the fellow who said you live your car unlocked. Good luck to you, i lived in London for a very long time and was never robbed, moved out and guess what we were robbed. It doesn't matter where you live, if it's going to happen it will.

I didn't know pple were moving over here because of chicken and chips, bad roads and NEPA. Fair enough NEPA but none of the other reasons make any sense. I'm out and I agree with the poster. A lot of pple think living in Uk is the be all and end all.  I'm sorry it isn't. pls don't let's fool ourselves it isn't. A black PM? Never maybe in the next generation and most blacks are rated as second class citizens anyway. If you feel different, speak out but only want opinions from anyone working pls.

If Nigeria had good leaders maybe we wouldn't all need to come over her. My two pence.

TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS IT'S REALLY HELPFUL

Life Partner

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a
life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of
close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in
their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right! If you ask most couples who are
engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I
believe this is the number 1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life
partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not
politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting
married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other
ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again:
You can't build lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot
more.


Here are five questions you must ask yourself if
you're serious about
finding and keeping a life partner.


QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life
purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married
for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you
plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You
need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a
common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow
together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing
apart. To make marriage work, you need to know what you want out of
life, bottom line-and marry someone who wants the same thing

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my
feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the
core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can
communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is
trust - i.e. trust that I won't get" punished" or hurt for expressing my honest
thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive
person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and
feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally
safe with the person you plan to be with.


QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch
is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here
are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone
who is always striving to be good and do the right
thing. "So ask about your significant other:

What do they do with their time?
Is this person materialistic?
Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top
priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of
people in the world:
People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who
are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be
comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing
the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.


QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other
people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is
the ability to give.
By giving, we mean the ability to give another person
pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are
they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be
nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc.
How do they treat parents and siblings?
Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you can
not expect who can't do nearly as much for them!

Do they gossip and speak badly about others?
Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves
others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually
treat you poorly as well.


QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping
to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the
mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"
them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can
probably expect someone to change after marriage, for the worse!" If you
cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready
to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and
treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less
with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are
dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on
your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't
do your homework.


ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE, There are some people in your
life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can
accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining,
negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the
relationships around you.

Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain
people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality,
respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it
will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who
should be moved to the balcony of your life.


An African proverb states, "Before you get married,
keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get
involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation,
immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you
blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you
can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that
important.


Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their
flaws, vulnerabilities, pet-peeves and differences will
become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow
and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little
thing bother you.
You and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses and strengths. You are two
unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life
together. Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other?
Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise
with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to
the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain?


You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop
self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself
making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your
pain.


Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and
lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a
relationship.


WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:

01. TRUST

02. COMMUNICATION

03. INTIMACY

04. A SENSE OF HUMOUR

05. SHARING TASKS

06. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN

07. DAILY EXCHANGES (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a
call, a touch, a
note)

08. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS

09. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING
INSECURE

10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND
ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT


If these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode, as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and pain will
replace the passion.

Plant seeds of righteousness and you will be sure to
reap that which is organic and truly edified by God.

What a coincidence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIL was on the flight too. She was called on saturday to be told her flight had been rescheduled for Sunday. We got there on Sunday and was told there was no flight but she finally left on Monday at 2:42 and got her luggage the next day.

You might have bumped into her as well. She was fasting.

RAMADHAN KAREEM. May Allah grant you all your heart's desire and May he also accept all your Ibadah throughout this holy month of Ramadhan.

mine is August 9th too, ashala we're birthday mates!!!!!
Whitney Houston, melanie Griffith and Gilian Anderson were born on dis day too(don't really care abt them too tough, just thought I shld mention)

deleted post by mistake

It's really thoughtful of you and that made me teary. The thing is it might not be her womb, there are many factors that causes infertility, MF(male factor) being one of it, unexplained, or could be the woman.

No1 where is your sis based? If UK or US get her to read this book which may shed a lot of light into the reason the cycle was negative. Alan E. Beer,Julia Kantecki,Jane Reed Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?: Unexplained Infertility, Miscarriage and IVF Failure, Explained, or still can order the book from Amazon.