₦airaland Forum

Ihedinobi: So he's not a Christian because unlike you he covered his tracks, because he failed to confess his failings, because he made a series of errors? How doomed would we be if you were the Judge of the whole earth?



You are confirming to me that he knew? What did his wife tell us? That he admitted to knowing his condition and failed to apprise her of it beforr marrying her? Or that she has strong reasons to believe that he knew and failed to tell her?


What do you suppose that you are answering here? My question was whether you decided that he's not a Christian because he deceived another Christian.

chaircover: @cannonnier you made a similar request on the health section and I contacted you a couple of days ago. I have bought the item on Amazon and it is being delivered to me today. I also explained to you that I have a relative coming to Nigeria on Thursday and for you to meet him at the airport to collect it from him. I am not collecting any money from you

My suggestion to you is to use it first, and if it doesnt work as expected then you go for a more expensive one.

cannonnier: i live in lagos, u

greatgod2012: WHEN THE FOUNDATION IS DESTROYED, WHAT CAN THE RIGHTEOUS DO?

@bellong and others that share the same opinion, i love and endorse your stand on this issue. May God increase your wisdom, sincerely, bellong, i do learn alot from your posts, they are always inspiring and usually fortified with the TRUTH, without hypocrisy and confusion. May God bless you and your marriage richly.

Ihedinobi: I completely agree. Do you think that this man has not repented and turned from his ungodly attitude? Do you suppose that he has remained in sin?

We are on the same page on this your answer. Do I think if the man repented? I am in no position to know anybody's sinful state but I am in a position to infer from actions, you will have to go through the poster's post about her husband's attitude and actions to confirm that. Someone who has sorrowfully repented from his ways will not use lies to cover up weakness, what happen to buy the truth and sell it not. He will not be seeing another girl behind and conceal it from the wife. Its no big deal seeing handwriting on the wall and knowing the wife want out to want to start preparing for a new lady. Why would he tell lie? Why would a regenerated person allow his family to take over his role in his own home? Why would someone who believes in God's forgiveness and ready to repent always try to cover his track? So many questions to ask bro.. If I do what is wrong, I confess to people involve, I do not cover my track. That is what God will have us do.


Lol. Is it now? Did you not mean what you said above that Christians still fail and make mistakes sometimes? You think he's not a Christian because he neglected to tell his fellow Christian that he couldn't father a child before marrying her? Lol. And we're still assuming that he knew his condition without a doubt, are we not?

I am not assuming he knew, I am confirming to you that he knew. The wife has told us here and repeated herself overtime. I need not emphasize it. There is a difference between negligence and willful action. Let's assume he did it out of fear of losing her, why didn't he tell her long time before his family made the wife go through hell? I am sure if he had told her probably about two/three months after the wedding, the burning love in the lady would have given her heart room to look forward to a miracle and they will both go through it together. He would have protected her from the maltreatment of her family. If he believes that God can turn situation around, he would ave opened up a long time and fire the faith of his wife to believing in God for a turn around

The point of these questions is...? What foundation was destroyed?

I will put a question back to you. On what foundation is a christian marriage established? We may have not share fundamental philosophy on this issue if you believe a union can be established on lies, hypocrisy and deception. The foundation of the marriage was destroyed right before it started. Storms of life always test foundation of everything in life. Whatever was not founded on God will surely crash while the ones laid on the foundation of truth, sincerity and godliness will withstand it. Read the analogy of Jesus about foundation. If you mean that tying the knot inside a church building in the presence of priest is enough foundation for God to work on, we are on different page. Have you ever seen a building with weak and poor foundation withstand fiery storm? It can't because the foundation was wrong. Hence, the question, when the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? The righteous will have to rebuild.


You sure took your time to pull this out. Been waiting for it for ages.

Sure He did command that we do. But is that command necessarily limited to child-bearing?

I do not like to jump at quoting scripture at every opportunity I have, I expected you to know that part hence, I didn't bring it up initially. Child-bearing is a fundamental part of that command. It says be fruitful and multiply. I left out the be fruitful part which is not limited only to child bearing but quoted the multiply part. How do you multiply if you bear no children? If child bearing was less important to God, why would He promise Abraham a seed that will multiply and be as the sea-sand. Why would every initial barren ladies in the scripture cried to God to open their womb. Why would God promise the children of Isreal that none will be barren among them? My brother, child-bearing is important because you have to raise people to fulfill and accomplish His purpose on Earth. There is more to it, God wants the world to be filled with godly people and if godly people think its not important, how can it be achieved?


I'm curious as to how this is so. After all, there is continued disharmony between even the best Christians and God but we continue to claim companionship with Him, don't we?
We have companionship with God despite our weakness because our faith and repentance were built on a solid foundation which was godly sorrow and sincere conversion. Someone asked the poster if her husband is a good man despite this situation, she narrated her experience. No companionship is based on continuous deceit, cover up and rigidity. There is nothing called best Christian my brother. Its either you are for God or not.

Didn't ask anything about your blaming him. If you cannot answer it, make no assumptions about it.

biolabee: Thanks sir.. frankly your faith is inspiring.. if your own is a mustard seed
im sure my own will be like atom ant

Tgirl4real: God bless your testimony.

biolabee: @bellong... excellent post
May your union continually be blessed

Ihedinobi: Do Christians show godly attitude all the time?

Ihedinobi: If procreation is not the sole purpose of marriage, then marriage is not frustrated by the failure of procreation. If it is not, then deceit as to one's ability to procreate does not render marriage invalid. As for why people get married, there are all kinds of subjective reasons, but we cannot judge the validity of a marriage contract by them because none of these people instituted marriage. Only the One Who did has the right to say what the Purpose of Marriage is and where that Purpose has been frustrated thus rendering the contract fraudulent, don't you agree?

Let me accept for the sake of argument that he deceived her. Now, did he realize that child-bearing was a make-or-break factor in the alliance?

Ihedinobi: Alright then. Here's my full argument.

1. If marriage were solely for the purpose of bearing one's own biological children, then deceiving one's potential spouse as to one's ability to procreate is unforgivable and nullifies the marriage contract. So, the question here is: is marriage solely for procreation?

2. Can anyone give solid evidence, not circumstantial which may be explained in more than one plausible way, but solid evidence that the man in question lied about his fertility?

3. Considering the nature of the marriage contract and assuming that procreation is so big a deal to the parties involved, it behoves the concerned parties to make doubly sure that their potential partner is fertile. Did the op do everything within her power to ascertain the potential hubby's fertility? If she did not, she's partly responsible for the deceit that she complains of.

4. As for the husband's actions, I do not know enough about him to judge whether he may be a Christian or not.

Ihedinobi: Would you say that Rebecca deceived Isaac into marrying her? It's an argument I was refraining from using because I do not want to hurt the op anymore than she has been but I can't continue to avoid it because this is a public forum.

Tgirl4real: U said that right...it is not the unpardonable sin, but there is a more excellent way.

The reason why this is becoming a very big issue is the fact that OP really wanna have kids. If not, she may have just forgiven him for lying to her and moved on with the union.

snthesis: tanx for the advice, but it is delaying the inevitable or making things worse cos the numbers i added will go up due to inflation.

mayb marriage can wait till i have money to throw away

Tgirl4real: Sincerely, I agree with u. Unfortunately, it is not a biblical grounds for divorce. If OP doesn't wanna live or address this issue on biblical grounds, I will be the first to tell her to take a walk cos it is only God that can sustain someone in such a situation.

Anonymous91: exactly. Its always as if i'm in the toilet. Only once have i been tired since this occurences

Guitarlife: On another note, the OPs husband is not impotent, he is only infertile like some people have already pointed out. That means he is capable and indeed carries out his conjugal duties. [s]The issue here is Ops obssession with children which is probably influenced by her strong African upbringing[/s]. To be fair, many Europeans and Americans will not find her husbands case am anomally why ?? Because the dude can perform in bed and THEY LOVE HIM GENUINELY.[s] OP is only practicing the african version of marriage I am truely concerned that most people commenting are missing this fact. [/s]

easy36: I just bought a tincan cleared Camry 99. The vehicle was containerized. I was given a motor vehicle duty certificate by Nigerian customs. I don't have money to register the vehicle now in Lagos but want to take it home (delta). Is this the only certificate (document) needed by the custom on my road?.