₦airaland Forum

Bernard has been reported by the rumor bearing daily mirror and the sun. The signing is expected to be concluded by friday according to them.

You need to have a heart to heart discussion with your wife about the dangers of visiting spiritualists. They don't solve any problem, rather they add to it. She needs to stop now. I don't know your spiritual convictions, so i can't give a refined advice along that line.

As per your job loss, I pray that God will restore you and open a door unto you. You have to forget the past and look forward to getting another. What skills do you have that you can leverage on to make money. Try and see the services you can render to your neighbouring community which can bring in money.

It is well with you.

alutawestand: I had an argument with my hubby last week friday. He said I like judging him wrongly and also remind him things of the past(ugly ones mostly)and don't respect him. That I always have a quick and sharp response to every statement he makes In the heat of the argument I told him I wanted a divorce.

He has refused to talk to me since then. He said he must grant me the divorce since I requested for it.

I tried apologising to him last night but he refused listening to me, that the only way he would know that I am serious and thereby accept the apology it is if I kneel down and beg him. This I refused doing.

This morning I tried apologising by chatting him up on BB but
he insisted that I must kneel down to know am serious. He said my apologies are not always original as I always go back to that same old character even after apologising.

I've told him that its dehumanising and moreover we only kneel down for God , but he told me I knelt down while giving him palmwine on the day of our traditional wedding. That I should go and find out the meaning of that. If I don't kneel down he will go ahead with the divorce.

Pls house I don't know if I should go ahead and kneel down for him to avoid problems. But to be sincere, I really find that dehumanising.

I need your advice and will be here to entertain any question. Thanks

Efemena has advised you rightly and Chaircover already explained the unspoken truths about divorce to you. I am happy you have a reasonable and gentle husband, else your tune will be different.

Now to the bolded, put yourself in his shoes, how will you feel if your husband or any other person acts like that to you? The golden rule says, "Do unto others as you want to be treated.." I am sure, with the level of pride and arrogance you displayed with what you wrote above, you wouldn't want anyone to treat you like trash.

You need to work on your temperament and character not just to your husband but also to others. Anybody that speaks trash to his/her fellow during an argument is not fit to be in marriage. Learn how to control your tongue when you are angry, the effect may not be repairable on some occasions. Nagging (yours is extreme as painted by your husband) is a cancer that eats deeply into the heart and erodes confidence of a man. Hence, reason why men hate nagging ladies. WORK ON YOURSELF WOMAN.

If you continue this way, no matter how patient your husband is, there is always a breaking limit. It will become unbearable for him in the long run. It takes two to tango, it will take the two of you to make the marriage work. Do not confuse self esteem with pride.. Pride will not take you anywhere apart from fall cum destruction.

If you cannot kneel for people you seem wholeheartedly, how do you expect God to accept your kneel that's if He is interested in it anyway.

Get books and read, learn patience, humility, perseverance and tolerance, it will help you not only in marriage but in Life.

It is well with you

Since when has se.x become food that an husband cannot control his libido even when condition of a pregnant wife requires abstinence from it.

By the time such is encouraged by the said wife, it will only be a matter of time before she cries for SOS. Promiscuity under any guise does no good to a union. It can only help to breed distrust, disharmony and sorrow. Daily events have proved that to be true.

chidyhels: ^ok..no,am nt married. If u are,can u answer the question pls?

When you are married, will you be happy when your husband says you are a curse to him? The word Curse is too big a language to use here sis.

I still wonder what you aim at achieving with the question in the long run.

Meanwhile, while at asking your question, prepare yourself to be a virtuous woman to your husband and the society at large. That is what will matter in the end not the story of others.

It is well with you

globalfanz: How about my graphics? I mean my corel works.

If you have it on a flashdrive, u can install corel draw on it.

No but I asked to arrive at a point

^^^ Congratulations.. good to hear. So what took a teenager away for too long?

You claimed he is your friend. If he is, its a simple task. Talk to him and advice him as a friend. He will open up to you.


Case closed

Are you married?

Apart from teaching, what other skills does your husband have? What are his concrete plans for survival in the country he is planning to go? How is he planning to get a job? Many questions he needs to ask himself.


I know of a fact that its almost an impossible task talking someone out of traveling abroad especially those whose hearts are made up like your husband. However, he needs to listen to international news to understand how world economy is doing these days.


Madam, to supplement what you earn, have you ever considered private lessons? Do not sit on the monthly pay, try and engage in other stuff that can bring in money no matter how small.


Let your husband understand that a man who cannot hustle to make a living in Nigeria cannot survive anywhere else. He is very lazy looking for an easy way to success.

^^^ The Motorola XOOM I suggested above can handle all your Microsoft office needs. Android works with all office applications.

It will be good for your journey due to its long battery lifespan.

bettymafy: That is quite affordable. Will see if I can get it here in Nigeria. Does Motorola have any customer service here in Nigeria?

I don't know if they have. I think GT card can pay on Amazon. If you have one, you can use for the payment also if you have a friend to ship to in US. Amazon do not ship electronics to Nigeria.

When you are ready, maybe we can find a way around it on how you can get it.

married2awizard: yes I recently started thinking of ending it all
I have 3kids and I am married,my husband hits me,hates me,tells me I am bad in bed,and my food is tasteless,same food and sex he enjoyed before married has become bad to him.He is broke now so I spend for the home.
I have an embarrassing issues healthwise that seems to have no cure.
How long can I continue to love a man that hates me?everyone says you have to stay in your marriage for the kids.ibo men are the most heartless men ever,no sympathy or empathy in their dictionary just their dirty ego and empty pride,their wife means nothing and their family means evertyhing.
I cant go on

It brings pains to my heart when I read or see men maltreat their wife. It shows extreme lack of depth about the understanding of what marriage is. Such men do not even know that having troubles with their wives hinders their prayers from being answered. Its a pathetic thing.

@Poster,

Like said, a bad man is not a function of tribe. There are bad men everywhere across the world. They are just simply bad, either as a result of previous experience or greed and others. Your husband's action is not a result of his tribe, there are Yoruba, Hausa, Itsekiri, Ijaw etc men treating their wives like you.

Some men can become violent as a result of financial troubles hence, they transfer their aggression on people close to them especially the wife. It maybe that the present action of your husband is as a result of his financial status and also maybe he is getting irritated by the health challenge you have. For every situation like this, when husband/wife starts treating each other negatively without excuse, I always suggest there should be a long discussion between the parties. Sit down together, express your frustration to him, ask him why he is being violent and intolerant towards you. Extract the reasons from him and let him know you will change. You in turn must also tell him what you don't like and how you can't take the beating anymore. If after this, and he refuses to change, like suggested, I will advise you take a break from him till he comes back to his senses. You need God in your home more than ever, draw nigh unto Him and be prayerful.

Can you share the health challenge, doctors on this forum can give you a lasting solution or probably someone may have passed through it before, the person can be of help to you here.

It is well with you and your home.

Royal Roy: Even though I am not married, I personally will follow an age old statement my dad has thought me!!!

[size=20pt]Never Let a Woman Know Exactly What You Are Worth. If you are worth 100naira, tell her you are worth just 50 naira!!! [/size]

I intend to follow that rule to the letter!!!

Bro, I will advise you to drop this your dad's personal theory that has failed test of time. It worked for him because of the nature of the person he married. Do you also want to marry someone that cannot or will not be able to appreciate and celebrate your full worth?

Please, I beg you, search diligently, there are still many prudent and trustworthy ladies out there with whom you can plan for the future. I was once in this your shoe a long time ago, I for one was not taught, I taught myself based on few ladies I knew then. However, my theory changed when I began relating with the right people. This theory can't take anybody to places, no matter what you achieve alone, with an understanding and a great woman, you will achieve much more.

If you can be patient enough to get a virtuous lady, its the best thing that can happen to your life and destiny after salvation. You will not be taught to drop that theory when you encounter one. So, do it right bro...

^^^ Its probably a true hearsay arising from profits calculation.

Whatever, they should just spend the money and end this long summer transfer fiasco..

There are sufficient funds available to the manager.’ – Edelman, September 2005.

…the effect means we can spend more on transfers over the next 15 years.’ – Edelman, May 2006.
‘If Arsene came to us and said he wanted to spend £40m on a player we could do that.’ – Edelman, Sept 2007.

‘We remain firmly committed to substantial investment in the playing squad.’ – Chairman Peter Hill-Wood, Sept 2008.
‘We’ve got a substantial amount of money to invest.’ – chief executive Ivan Gazidis, Sept 2009.
‘The club is secure – we have sufficient funds to invest.’ – Gazidis, May 2010.
‘In January and in the summer there will be significant funds available to bolster the team.’ – Gazidis, Sept 2011.
‘All the money we make is available to the manager.’ – Gazidis, May 2012.
‘It’s all about giving us the capability to go to the manager and say “here is the money for you to compete”.’ – Gazidis, June 2013.

The next time anybody say this again, I'm not going 2 believe anymore。This is the last time. Waiting to see how the 70M bucks will be spent this summer.

@OP,

Do not let this trouble you out of proportion. Its one of the shocks of life. I remember when I was in the university, I had such experience. To avoid shame and ridicule from my roommates, I intentionally in their presence poured water on the bed in the morning . They didn't know I stage managed it. That action gave me boldness to spread the mattress outside.


If its just a one time experience, there's no cause for alarm. However if its a constant and recurrent event, you should take caution and seek help. Try read a similar thread that was opened last week on this type of experience. You will find enough useful tips there.


It is well with you.

samir101ng: Thanks guys, already on it.

Just waiting for them to finish the process and take delivery. But for a little more enlightenment of the process, after giving your vehicle documents (bill of lading, receipt etc), I.D, TIN and other particulars to the clearing agent, what then does the clearing agent do next ? @femmy2010, will appreciate your input on this as i am expecting another consignment soon. Thanks.

The clearing agent uses it at the custom office as they are the licensed agents granted the right to negotiate with custom. (Fhemmy2010 can explain better). Custom gives valuation of the vehicle and they pay as well as other port/terminal charges. Then your vehicle is out

Emperoh: Shipping alone to Nigeria will take $1100.
You haven't thought of inland trucking, auction fees and the small commission to Tope before the car.
You might need to sit back and think again. Unless u mean someone should dash you a car.

You can't blame her completely. She must have seen a fraudulent place where she was told, she can get a car for $200 .

Just like someone asking me authoritatively last week to get him a Totota Highlander 2008 for less than 1.8M including clearing fee. The person claimed someone offered it to him at the price and he is looking for a cheaper price . I told him to buy it without questioning and bring to me to resell at 2.5M .

Such cases are what you deal with when it comes to some people buying cars. They think, its picked up for free on the streets of New York

@OP,


Assuming the wife is not in the know already, do you have enough spiritual shock absorber to let in such secret. Knowing fully well that the person who could go to such extent of using his daughter wouldn't mind sacrificing an ordinary friend whose mouth does not understand caution.


In between, its their marriage, stop poke-nosing

Chanchit: I wish our leaders have conscience. If I try to burn myself like the Egyptian that burnt himself to death which in turn started the revolution, but if I try that one for this country na so so " eeyah, eeyah" our people go dey talk, but I need a gun really fast.

It was a Tunisian ( Mohamed Bouazizi) who burnt himself and not an Egyptian. Moreover, Nigerians are too selfish to initiate any revolution. Only mere imagination of some folks, reason why those in government care less about the masses.

The small fuel subsidy protest was jeopardized by the very masses always screaming revolution at every government misdeed. We can't simply put our money where our mouth is.

Forget about revolution my brother.

mary uc: they said he has autism n needs therapy.i am lost in the middle of no where

I understand how devastating the news is to you but I encourage you never to give up hope. I beseech you to search the internet and read more about it. Read past history of people who had the challenge and how they pulled through it.

This is the time your child needs you most. The little I have read about Autism, though they said there is no known cure but many children do recover from it that they lose their diagnosis of ASD. You will have to involve the child more with his peer group to develop his social skills as this is the aspect it affects most. Give him your support and love, Never ever get to a stage of frustration where you vent your anger against him. It is no fault of his that he is diagnosed with ASD. With family support and help, he will recover very fast from it.

Above all, I believe in miracle. Commit it to God in prayers, ask for a transformation and the balm of Gilead will be released upon him for healing.

It is well with him

@Op,

You are not the one that needs advice in this case, it is your husband. He was the one who made the mistake and he should be the one to seek counsel to resolve the issue.

Being a Christian is more than going to church, I am not in the support of him forcing your conversion. God doesn't work that way. If indeed he is a christian in action and words, I am sure, he will not be in a position of forcing his wife to be a christian, you would have asked him what it takes to be saved.

That being said, to save your marriage (if you love him and still want to be with him), reach a compromise with him about when you attend church and also let him understand you will still be praying in your way. Though its not the best of solution but its a compromise you can afford to save your home.

I commend you to His grace which is able to save to the end.

smoothlips: Dude u must be a very very boring sad guy!!!
***looks at my Alomo..(frowns)***

And you are the lively person.

[quote author=optimus-prime1]Dude,
I have'nt met you yet, but I believe you are one helluva depressed, Sadistic, boring, colorless Homo-sapie... No Homo-habilis of the Mamalian specie.
I'm just being deep, ojective, philosophical and analytic as you were to the topic, No offence and most definately no pun intended.[/quote]Are you happy with yourself after this outburst?

Goodluck to you

samir101ng: @Bellong,

thanks bro. Yes, my name is stated as the consignee. I have a TIN number and also an international passport. I have the soft copy of the bill of laden as the original documents are in Lagos at the office to enable faster access. Need to start this clearing thing ASAP. Before heavy charges start applying. When do they start charging a person before clearing a vehicle ?

You have been answered. Please do fast to prevent demurrage. He should help you do it.

biolabee: Haha.. So we will see where really his heart lies

25m pound bid confirmed

I am also waiting to confirm his claim or to see if it was just one of the many saying of footballers with no loyalty/allegiance

jagabanban: 3. AK-47
The Kalashnikov rifle, or AK-47, was invented by Soviet Army soldier Mikhail Kalashnikov while recovering in hospital from injuries sustained in World War II. Kalashnikov claimed his creation was for the benefit of his country.

The benefit of his country but the doom of the society.

In between there are hundreds of scientific inventions better than the quoted which the inventors gave out for free.

I will advice you to go through the link below. It is about the story of a man who lost his wife, the challenges and how he came out strong from it. There are lot of encouraging and soul lifting advices from people in the thread. It will be of great help to you too. Take your time and read through the whole thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/20511/adjusting-life-widower

It is well with you.

biolabee: assuming this is true
why will he wanna come to a fourphy club when he can win with van p

He claimed that his heart lies only with arsenal outside Spain. The fourphy club was once a winning club, the winnings days are coming back.

Manchester United has made an offer believed to be about £25m for Cesc Fabregas. I hope Wenger can exploit the clause in his contract to hijack him.