₦airaland Forum

Before a man got married, was he not going to the market as a bachelor? How will he become less of a man suddenly. Madam, If your husband is not complaining and you are not always abusing the advantage, do not let any friend's advice ruin the good relationship you have with your husband.

If she has an arrogant husband at home doesn't mean she should equate him to yours. Going to market does not reduce his manliness. Infact, he is in a better position to understand how you spend the money on groceries in the market. Keep on keeping on, may the Lord continue to bless your home.

Have you ever taken time to search for great men who once were named EDWARD? Why not focus on the positive and leave the negative. To every name, there are good and bad people who once had them. If you change it to another, I can dig out extremely bad people who once had such name. Your father didn't have any negative or ill feelings towards you for giving you the name.

Your friends are making fun because its what they know how to do best.. It is normal at this age for peers to make fun of each other. Develop a thick skin to it and stop hating your name.

In summary, a Christian home is a place where LOVE exists and plays all roles in actions and decisions including interactions with people without.

The summary is not hypocrisy, it is selfishness. An average Nigerian is selfish and care less about the welfare of his/her fellow.

It is even so bad in religious circles where you hear some selfish and ridiculous prayers. All for personal gains. There is total lack of love in people. Nobody cares about anybody except it has to do with bad news. People will rather come to your aid to take honor for helping you out of trouble than helping you prevent such horror and trouble. The help may not even stem out of sincere love.

Why do we have problems in the country that seems unsolvable despite endless prayers of people? The truth is we are the problems of ourselves, the government accounts for a minor percentage.

It is in the same country you will see civil servants expecting you to grease their palms before doing what he is paid to do. Same country you will find custom and law enforcement agents allowing dangerous substances, weapons and materials to pass security check after monetary power exchange hands.

Your description is what we get when people strive for what do not matter but place emphasis on ephemeral things. As individuals and collectively as a country, there is need for a value re-orientation. We need to understand and place values on life and what matters. Until then, your concern will remain the same.

It is so disheartening reading this type of stuff being perpetrated by some men. Even if you marry the devil, there are hundreds of ways to correct an erring and nagging wife without subjecting himself to danger. In this insecure period, someone can still be living a nocturnal life. If he comes home by 1am, how does he wake up early to be at work and still be very productive in the office.

Apart from subjecting you and the kids to danger as well as emotional imbalance, he is playing cards with his life and job. One day, lack of adequate sleep will tell on his brain in the office and he ends up making a big mistake that may cost him his job. If that happens, part 2 of this current movie will be released by him and life will become extremely unbearable for you.

I personally do not like involving a third party in marital issues but when it becomes a matter of life and death, your silence is not golden but dangerous. You have to involve your family at this junction, separate from him for a while to put his acts together. If he still wants you, he will have to agree to coming home early. What is he enjoying outside that he can't bring the party home. The earlier you do this, the better. God forbid, if he is followed home by armed robbers in one of his night movements, I hope that will not endanger your life and the children.

It is well with you

jaz: so how much can one get a 2005 avalon limited from US

You can send me a pm for the quote so as not to derail this thread nor go against the rules here.

^^^ Your husband needs a serious scolding if the routine above is true. How on earth will he leave you to do all those stuff, even if you are a full time housewife you still need help from him.

Na wa for some men oo

@Uchescoad, what an advice.


OP, I believe you didn't go to the marriage market to marry a devil. If some other people can base their judgement on the devil they have as a wife, you should not tow the same path.

Your decision should not be based on myopic generalization of some men about women but rather centred on the nature of the person you are in a life time agreement with. However, your kids are still small, they cannot take any reasonable decision at this time. It is advisable that your wife be made your next of kin. The issue of next of kin is not restricted to claiming assets alone, it is useful during emergency situations too.

Your wife will not maltreat nor neglect her own children even if she will, it is always good to do the right thing irrespective of what you think. The right thing to do now is to make your wife the next-of-kin.

Is there anything called secret? Sooner or later, all hidden secrets will be exposed. Why not face the lesser shame now than to postpone it till it becomes a giant shame.

The wages of illiteracy is ban to life in prison. This man is suffering from incurable ignorance. His eyes will clear when he gets his package in Kirikiri maximum prison.

@Kirinwa, take the advice above and act on it.

It is well with you

You have heard testimonies of people with similar situation. Testimonies are meant to strengthen our faith in God in case fear and doubts want to set in.

My friend's daughter was a pre-term too. The girl is hale and hearty at the moment and close to two years. I know for a fact that what kept the baby alive till now will keep him till old age. He will become a pillar to your family and society at large.

Now, its time to go Paul and Silas way, start singing praises unto God because it is done. Congratulations on the new born. He will grow in wisdom, knowledge, understanding and fear of God.

It is well with him.

^^^ Bernard is not even a sure stuff. Athletico Mineiro denied any talk or offer from Arsenal. Though from his YouTube collections I have seen, he will not be a bad buy

lakad4u: hello fellow nairalanders,i really need your candid opinion and advice on this before i do it
i am about to purchase a clean maxima 2000 model from auction export which goes for about $1950,and they said the ground transportation is $850 and when i did the rough estimation on there site on how much its will cost me to ship to port lagos,they gave me rough estimate of about $1250,which they added the the ground transportation to become $2000
please my question is am i going to pay for anything again when the car arrives nigeria and do you think the risk really worth it going to that extent to purchase a car which anything can happen like natural disaster in which no insurance company can indemnify against it...i will like people to enlighten me more about this and how to go about it..please its urgent to know if to take an option of going to Cotonou will be the better option for me or importing from the auction company...thanks so much as am about to read from cars guru on nairalanders..

Why buy from Auction export when you can get similar deal from dealers in the USA. Is their charges part of the $1950? Be sure that after buying, you will still have to pay clearing fee in Lagos. Even if you go to Cotonou, you will still pay custom duty except you want to go the "fayawo" route.

Buying from USA is good and worth the risk but you have to buy from a respectable source that can be held liable to any shortcomings in the process. In the event, you go ahead with it, prepare clearing fee of about 220k for the ride.

I read a funny analysis of the current Suarez situation on soccernet. Below is someone's comment.

"Wenger Knows he will never get Suarez, he is doing it just for us the fans to think the club is serious. Rooney will go to Chelsea, Higuain is almost at Napoli, Madrid will use the cash to push for Suarez. Wenger will end up with nothing. He will soon begin saying how he has quality in his squad, and how he has depth if all players are injury free. One week to deadline, he will bring in someone from France at a bargain. The season will start with low moral for both fans and players. A few losses and he will begin complaining of how other teams use money. Press will ask him about the claim of having money to spend. He will simply say he did not see the quality he was looking for and was not prepared to spend just for the sake of buying. Then we shall struggle for top 4 (Which I believe may be more difficult esp if Spurs and L'Pool get their acts together). I guarantee that this time we will not finish in the top 4. Wenger may be forced to resign, another coach comes in. Fans riots, wanting for Usmanov takeover, Kronke stands his ground. To silence fans, he will attempt to buy some players for the new compaign only that top class players will shun the club bse of instability and inability to challenge. Four years down the road, Arsenal has not qualified for Europe and languishing in Mid table. Kroenke sells his stake to Usmanove, the club begins to get back up slowly but with poor managerial abilities and poor squad, try 2 times and finaly in the third year get back to Europe via Europa".

Why are people making assumptions on information not given? Nobody knows the person of the man nor the lady in question to castigate them on what is not. Its always good to base advice on information given and if need be ask questions to clarify grey areas rather than assuming.

nikkykay: Pls let's hope we sign him.
I didnt hope for this to happen be4 but now i believe d guy will turn a new leaf if he cosmes to Arsenal and a lot of fans will grow to love him.

A leopard does not change its spots. He was like this in Ajax, World cup and Liverpool. Habits die hard

naijababe: I hope to God we don't sign Suarez, I really do

Sincerely, I really do too. Talent without attitude is nothing. I would rather buy a Soldado and Fellaini with 55M pounds than a Suarez who may end up collecting salary for quarter play due to suspensions.

Not too many countries have that long maternity leave for nursing mothers. I recently conducted a personal search on that. Its not just the problem of Nigeria, its the problem of many other countries including developed. Time is money to them.

OP, know for a fact on a general level, boys suck more than girls, hence why you think your son is eating too much. I have a 7month old boy too, this boy can eat tomorrow today . I once told him jokingly, with the rate at which you are sucking, there will be nothing left for his coming siblings to suck .

I understand the stress on your wife doing the exclusive breastfeeding, I tell you there is nothing to be compared with that. Instead of giving up on it, why not look for ways to leverage the situation to your advantage. A breast pump has been suggested by someone. Depending on what time your boy sleeps at night, your wife can breastfeed him for longer period close to when he will sleep. This will make him sleep longer before waking to eat again. We tried and tested this and it worked for us. Again, I will encourage you to stick with the exclusive feeding. My boy today is as strong as a rock. He is only 7months, but when he drags something with you, you will think he is an adult. His bones are made of steel and never for once fell sick. when we did his circumcision, he got healed completely within a week, the doctors were surprised. The health benefits of exclusive feeding can only be experienced than explained.

For the maternity leave, I know in public sector there is nursing mother working hours. Nursing mothers close by 1pm for the next 4-6months depending on ministry and arrangements with the head of the units. I do not know about the private sector.

It is well with your family

Sometimes, I wonder why some "Tokunboh" Nigerians detest the country so much as if its aliens that are the problem of the nation.

To answer your question, you gave the right advice to her. No man is happy jobless irrespective of race/ethnicity/tribe except the man is useless. In this case, the said husband was already working, earning good pay and comfortable before relocating. We all know that world economy is not smiling presently and particularly the UK. For how long does the wife think he can get a fulfilled job? What are the plans she has for him to survive without depending on him? How can she alleviate his fulfillment and happiness in providing for his family without his ego being threatened or battered?

Yes, I agree that its not all about money. However, money is also important for a man to run a family and a job to contribute and be relevant to the society. The husband didn't tell her about the interview because he knew she would object to it. She is a passionate social worker, she should start forming good partnership with donor agencies in the UK with a bid to starting her own NGO in Nigeria. As it is, am sure nothing will stop the man from accepting the job. Its better for her to wake up to reality and start planning for life in Nigeria. The man needs the job and thank God its a good one.

Who says the UK has the best health insurance in the world? You need to travel to other parts of the world where healthcare system is better in terms of cost and also more developed than the UK. That being said, Nigeria may be in trouble but its not as bad as you people paint it everyday. I believe the couple in question are not northerners. Its the place I can't advice someone to move to at the moment. With money, you can enjoy all what you need to enjoy in the country, only have to pay for it.

Oga, when the root of a matter is not addressed, it begins to spread branches and extensions. I will not buy the idea of sweeping under the carpet because its obvious you are concerned and interested.

Please, to forestall future ugly incidents, you both have to address it now to the satisfaction of both parties. If its not done, a seed of distrust is already planted in your heart and every suspicious move by her will generate irrational response from you.

She is your wife, she shouldn't turn harmless and friendly discussion into a fight if she doesn't have anything in her cupboard. Deal with it now.

I earlier suggested you have a talk with the said person, that's in company with your wife for the following reasons and I hope its applicable to you.

You never suspected nor caught your wife of infidelity before neither did you explained if she has male friends known to you. For her telling you the said Uncle Amos is a platonic friend, I operate on my wife's friend is my friend. Bring your friends close and your enemies (including perceived) closer. If Uncle Amos is her first attempt of making male friends, you forcing her to bring him closer will put caution in her for such related future friendship. Knowing fully well that whoever she wants to be a friend to, her husband will also be interested. It is for check and balance, I needed not explain in details, I believe you get the gist.

Most importantly, do not leave the issue unsettled, it is what Yorubas call "ageku ejo" (can't interprete properly but means unsettled matter)

It is well with you.

When I do try to explain to people that a low mileage vehicle with old age are very expensive, the next thing is to point to dealers who are selling same at a cheap price. I just laugh and tell them, you are probably dealing with a roll back odometer.

To avoid story that touch, what I always do is I give them quotation according to mileage and then ask them to pick their choice. If anyone picks a high mileage according to his pocket, I have no case to answer to anyone.


Nothing is free anywhere even in Freetown. lol

£^^^^ Lol.. Wish I could copy our discussion here. There was nothing I told him he listened to, he was so sure of the price.


Told him even a 2002 is difficult for that price. Am concerned that he doesn't lose his hard earned money to junk. He is my friend.

Fhemmmy: Yes, it is very possible - Lemme know if you would like to know and i will explain to you

I am interested ooo.. Hope its not a declared total loss

^^^^ That's the plain truth bro.


Meanwhile, I have a question for you. I know you ship from Canada. There's this person that will not let me rest despite all my lectures and glaring examples I presented. He wants a Toyota Highlander 2007/2008 at 1.5M. He said someone offered to help him bring from Canada.

Though, I have told him to get it from the person as I can't do such business. My question is, where in Canada can someone get a Toyota Highlander 2007/2008 for 1.5M including shipping and clearing

Is it 2003 for real? @1.8M

The ones who care about mileage do not care to verify the low mileage their dealers give them. As a matter of rule, I always declare the true mileage of vehicles bought to customers.

modele2: Infact i didnt know the warning would work. i told him, he was being abusive and i didnt like it, that i didnt deserve it, that if he had things bothing him he shoulkd bring it up and share lets solve together and stop using me as a buffer. That he should be aware that a woman had a sharper mouth and it was out of respect i havent used it.


Third - Communication skills. IT took me time to understand that most times we were on different wavelenghts. Later when i understand his point of view it is like eureka...so thats what your meant or had in mind. So my dear, try to also listen more. When asking questions its to understand and not to challenge. Any thing that appears as a challenge would recieve a push back and degenerate to a quarel. Sometimes its not in your question but in your tone or body language.

Fourth - have patience they would pay off in the end.

I like the bolded. @Op, that is tutorial from someone with similar experience... You need to communicate and have a good discussion with your husband about this issue. I am sure he will change if you both communicate and not just be chatting.

Averagely, men hate being monitored. While I was growing up till I left my mum, the question I hated most from her then is "where are you going.." I just always have this natural repulsion towards it. Your husband may not like his movement being monitored. Although, that shouldn't generate such response from him.

You know your husband well, talk with him and express your grievances.

It is well with you

If you love football, invite Uncle Amos for dinner and discuss about the transfer window over peppersoup. The discussion will be good for both parties.

Be careful how you police madam oo, do not let insecurity get a better of you.

It is well with you

Hey young girl, work on your self-esteem. Do not let opinions of people about what you have no control over rule your life. Your trouble is not about being fat but being disturbed about the personal opinions of people.

You need to grow a thick skin else, u end up blaming yourself. So quit this assessment exercise.