₦airaland Forum

iskalamong: (1) THE CAUSE:
The cause is very easy to identify. It's because they have forgotten how needy they were before.
Alot of people fall under this category.
You help them and they forget you and think they are better not because of you. Most people just remember today and forget tomorrow. @ op a very nice and pressing topic.
It's the same with those who are your friends who have a little upliftment in their status or life and they start boning (slang for ignoring especially when you greet them.)

(2) HOW TO AVOID THIS:
There is no sure way of avoiding this behaviour. Although it comes mostly from women, its also done by some men.
The only solution is to avoid helping people with such behaviours (for people who have portrayed such behaviour before. ). Or better still help and expect nothing in return, not even a Thank you. That's just the only way to go about it.


(3) HOW TO REACT
Just ignore and forget.
Assume you did it for God and he (God) will surely reward you.
People are just not trustworthy enough to help them so they can help you later rather help because it's good and nice for you to do so.
Even helping so that you can be helped (not compulsorily by the one who helped you.) can also sometimes be disappointing.

Thanks and God bless you for addressing my questions. I want to keep helping but asked the questions to know how to avoid the pitfall of others. I have a little 26yrs old sister. After the death of our mom, being the last born and only girl, she became the queen of the family. I saw her through university in Nigeria. She's in Canada now doing her masters at almost $36,000 USD. Being the oldest son I sold one house, and going through 'hell' now to pay her tuition in Canada. I just don't want to ever think she will be ungrateful to me one day after this. I haven't even married because of carrying the burden of others. Maybe my expectations from them is high. I just don't want to regret all this one day. This is why I'm asking experienced people for guide. I got some points already. God bless you all.

Sorry to bother good nairalander again with another thread back-to-back. Please help me solve this puzzle. Why is that each time someone helps most (not all) Nigeria woman it ends up either in a drama, scandal, enmity or chaos?

Here are some examples:

1. I opened this thread because a friend helped a Nigerian lady get a job in a big firm in Nigeria. The lady resumed without even calling to update him. When the man asked her why, she said she was grateful but added that God only used my friend to help her, it wasn't by his own doing. It could have still happened through another person. My friend was shocked at this type of 'Thank You'
2. A man in USA who used his financial records to file affidavit of support for her niece in Nig to relocate to USA made news when he ended up in court and nearly ended up in jail, when the girl turned around to sue him for not supporting her financially in USA.
3. Some Nigerian men (not all) who trained their wives in school are regretting it today, after the said wife graduated and either dumped them or became very unruly when they start working.
4. Some people who opened businesses for their sisters in Nigeria are regretting it today, as they ended up enemies and insulted.
5. Some who gave gifts to female friends in Nigeria always have one story of ungratefulness or the other. They complained that generally most Nigerian ladies have a mindset that they get what they get because they are attractive women, and generally men are 'mugus' who spend on women to get something in return.

My Questions:

1. What is the cause of this general feeling of ungratefulness, and how can we change the mindset of our sisters to start being grateful?
2. What is the best way to give a Nigerian lady a helping hand without attracting these types of ungratefulness, since some of us either still have females we are helping or intend to help?
3. How should one react when one's help is either misinterpreted or treated with ungratefulness, without ending it in drama or enmity?


Update 1, Nov 4, 2013: I wish we don't turn this into bashing of Nigerian women. I asked 3 specific questions to see how we can train the mind of some sisters to see the benefits of being grateful, to teach brothers how to give the right way, and how to handle disappointments when they come. I pray we focus on that to make this thread more constructive.

salsera: And about juju not being native to US, abeg wisdom there. Na Africans teach Us Halloween? Check the real origins of it na serious fear of witch start am.

The aim is still the same human being talking to a spirit to get knowledge for someone else, and that someone pays money for it.
The only difference na say oyinbo babalawo get washing machine and pays tax.

You said it all in your last paragraph!! Halloween is a celebration of an age-long believe that witches & wizards make an outing in the night. Apart from having fun and make jokes of witches/wizards people don't take it serious and nobody accuses another of witchcraft in USA. USA is a conglomeration of cultures from different parts of the world.

The difference in Nigeria is that people believe it and believe in it. They take it serious, even churches in Nigeria form beliefs and instill fear around witches/ wizards and make money out of it. So while calling someone a wizard in USA will only attract laughter, in Nigeria it's taken seriously because people believe it. I know many ladies in Nigeria who believe that spirits and witchcraft by their colleagues, rather than their bad attitude, are behind their not getting married. Even some Nig men believe witchcraft, rather than their habitual dishonesty, is behind their hardships.

Efemena_xy: You do know that if that's what she intends to do, there's nothing you can do about it - yes?

Re: the bolded bit... For real??

Real and live! People hailed, clapped, shouted praise, but someone's life was ruined forever. Sometimes it's better to stay way from certain types of people. All they bring is bad news in your life..

Efemena_xy: Illiteracy is indeed a crime.... Trust me, if she's capable of accusing you of engaging in occultism, nothing stops her from saying you don't wish her marriage well / you're jealous / tying down her husband.

Honestly I am more concerned about my name than the friendship. You can imagine if this craps makes rounds back home. I've seen a lady who claimed she's repented & became born-again, mount a podium in a church during 'testimony time' and spills out (confesses) what's been going on between her and her boss (where they slept, how many times, what he bought for her, what he tells her about other managers..etc), the man's career went to the drains from there.

Sometimes too I feel that most pastors should hear some testimonies/ confessions privately first like the Catholic church does, than letting people mount podium on impulse to destroy others.

bebe2: Eh eh eh park am there. Which uk? Abi u mean italy.

, my sister @bebe2 don charge . It's UK o. I read it in one of the online news, and watched it on Aljazeera documentary, how some people patronize a Nigerian 'witch doctor' in UK to hold innocent Nigerian girls on sex slavery there. The ring was busted some months ago?

bellong: You think there are no spiritualists or juju loving people in the USA?

Yea you are right. Many Haitians practice voo-doo here. Few years ago they arrested an African man at the airport bringing in dried animals and fetish items into USA for spiritual purposes. I also heard that some Nigerians in the UK are way into the practice there.

But can't you see what all this group of people mentioned have in common?...they are black, or African decent, usually the poorest and the most unproductive in any community they live in, even abroad. The most successful Nigerians/ Africans abroad are usually the least religious ones.

Xplicit.:
Don't blame her too much, blame d way she was brought up. When she goes to shops & find them every were, she'll get use 2 d system & start believin what u said. In no distant tym she'll kum to apologize. Give her tym. Meanwhile, how is America?

Yea, I know one day her eyes will open and she will see the 'light'. For now she's still blind. I know many born-again ladies who came to US during hot summer and swore they'd never wear trousers & makeups because they are sin. But during cold Winter they wore the thickest double jeans or risked freezing to death, and brightest color lipsticks to match. But when they travel back home they hide them to fit into their local congregation, misleading young people

It's an eye-opener really. You can imagine how many people that have been either accused or labeled wrongly by some of this vision-seeing churches in Nigeria for things they are not. How can anyone be talking about 'juju' in the USA -what do you need it for - to attract spouse, money, or protection from what abeg?

My people, like many Americans I prefer scented colored candles (Red/ garden orchid scents) to oil air-fresheners in the house, which I’m allergic to. Many families in USA decorate their houses with these scented colored candles available in almost every shop. Even American ladies love them when they visit. These are the most popular air-fresheners in USA. However, my friend’s wife who recently came from Nigeria has warned him not to visit me again calling me an occultist, & secret society member because she saw burnt colored candles in my house. This is very judgmental and a display of frivolous superstition by a very ignorant woman. Is it because the candle is colored? A more than 10years+ friendship is about to end because of what I describe as a ‘self-righteous timid woman’ with unrefined prejudice (pardon my use of angry words).

My friend shared this with me confidentially as why he hasn’t been coming around because he doesn’t want to start a conflict with his new wife. He's been trying quietly to convince her to give up her several uncivilized prejudices/ superstitions from Africa, but apparently she appears to be holier than everyone else, as usual reeling out bible quotations to justify her mediocrity. I’m a Catholic, decent and educated. I feel very insulted because this is how rumors circulate in Nigeria, once she gives a bogus testimony at her church of how she delivered her husband from an occult friend, then my name and reputation will be gone. I'm angry at self-righteous, ignorant people destroying friendships and families with their prejudice.

Please how do I handle this to save this age-old friendship, and stop this woman from soiling my name before they start calling me an occultist/ wizard, and nobody will accept a gift from me back home again? Some people in Nigeria are too judgmental.

Wish I read this piece a couple of years ago when I just let a pretty damsel who was divorced go because of what people would say...ignorance! Searching my box vigorously now and lettings things fly..looking for her pictures and contact..I gara call her..

Woged2005: 5. Major Cause Of Divorce Today:
In some cases, where there's divorce, if you trace back to how they started, the marriage was never meant to be in the first place. Somebody lied or manipulated his/ her way into the marriage for some selfish gains (money, fame, sex, power, traveling abroad, greencard, societal pressure, etc) and took what didn't belong to him/ her. If there's love, and the marriage was commissioned by God, there would never have been a divorce in the first place (No Offense to anyone).

Very nice informative piece..On point!!, one major reason I don't meddle in marital disputes. Each party will demonize the other. None is willing to accept his/her mistakes. Yet 50% of the time the fight is about kudi, owo, ego... (money)...another 30% is usually s.ex gone baaaaaad!! . somebody (usually oga) is snoring off at bed time... or madam started taking Victoria Secret's thinz for granted..

Davidoff2000: Wat if he has cisco network certifications like CCNA, CCNP and the like?wat r the chances of someone getting a job in the US with these networking certifications?

It's not about certifications, only people with American passport, greencard, and special work permit can work in the USA. Those certifications can only be helpful if he has a work permit. The bottom-line is no employer will hire him without a work permit, which's why I advised him to leave his chances open, when it comes to marriage. The easiest way to convert your visa here is through marriage. There are many eligible single Nigerians who are citizens here.

1. If I read you correctly, the two objectives are different. Masters degree does not teach hands-on skills to get a job. As a matter of fact, all things being equal, Masters prepares people for management position...to be better managers of resources. It depends on whether your goal is to have money, or to have career growth. If the later is ur goal, then go for your masters. Masters is not about money it's about class.

2. No, you cannot work in USA with an F1 student visa. It's illegal. You can only work on campus on a part-time basis if you are lucky.

3. The course you want to study in the US is called MIS (Management Information Systems). Immigrants usually combine it with another hands-on course like Oracle Developer, or Microsoft certification. If you convert your visa to a family 2A (through marriage) and get a green card you will get a good job with the hands-on trainings (Oracle, etc) at about $60k - $90k a year, but at a higher level bc of the Masters you have.

4. If you already have a wife or fiance in Nigeria, well, that may limit your chances of converting your visa through the easiest means here, which is marriage. If you are not yet married , I'll advise you come to US as a very single person so you can be flexible and explore any options.

Finally, USA is very tough and structured. No bull-shitting here bro. The jail doors are wide-open. Leave behind a lot of things in Nigeria if you want to live happily here...All the luck!

ucgirl: ...Pray for him or her in way u want him or her to be and u see changes comes out so well just the way u lk it..

Wrong scripture sister!..God does not change, and God created man in His own image....so what does that tell you?

We Nigerians so much twist the scripture to suit our purpose and that's a leading cause of the chaos in that country. Please you can never marry anyone with the purpose of changing him/her (manipulation)to suit your taste. It's not even biblical. The word of God said God has created her from a man's rib (A perfect mate to that man meant for her)..there's nothing to change. If out of greed, materialism, arange-marriage, wana-go-oversea, over-sabi, or fake visions/prophesy from a pastor, etc she falls into the arms of a man who's not meant for her, the marriage will crash even if you pray till 100yrs. Nothing works against the will of God.

Why don't a woman with AS genotype, who married a man with AS genotype pray to God to change the man to AA?..wrong match! definitely not from his rib, and not the will of God. Please Nigerians read the entire bible and not just St. Paul's letters to Christians in Rome, Ephesus, Corinth, Hebrew..etc. SMH!

bukatyne: If you are a Christian, read I Cor 13: 1 - 8 to know what God means by love. All other definitions na wash!

It's well

Ok. How then do we explain 'Love' to the teaming population of the world who are not Christians, obviously they don't read or believe in the bible? We need to start appreciating that we share this planet with a whole lot of other people and creatures, so that we don't keep justifying everything with the scripture. Unfortunately the most religious regions and country in the world have the most problems... Look at 'heavily religious' Nigeria Vs secular USA. Look at the heavily religious Middle East Vs Europe...so where is the love in this areas that preach it most? - Words!

I wanna be able to tell a teenager "hei make a left turn, you will see a red house, that's the shop"...and not "hei pray for guidance, you will get to the shop.." . I am definitely a practical Christian. That's how we got Aeroplanes, TVs and Cellphones....practicality!

Ujujoan: Isn't that the problem with the world today? There's just not enough love . . . Today's world is every man for himself and this ideology is transferred into marriages. Little wonder homes are breaking up!

I guess to find real happiness one has to search for real love . . not marrying for looks or money or lust, but marrying for LOVE!

I believe that no matter how badly matched a couple might appear to be, with love and understanding, they can make it work!

One of the leading causes of breakups is 'Personal Insecurity' also called 'low Self-esteem' too. Some people bring their baggage and issues into marriage and judge according to their past and personal experiences rather than loosen up and enjoy the moment. I know a lady who had a perfect marriage but couldn't stop sneaking on her husband's emails, texts, even sniffing boxers and panties daily. She did it for months till she found something that made her unhappy. Their problem started from that. I call it 'trying hard and making great efforts to find unhappiness'. You'll surely find one. "trouble dey sleep, iyanaga go wake am.."

sleekdot: ...If the 6 packs turn to potbelly, If the firm boobbs turn to slippers, If the smooth skin becomes wrinkled...

....hahahahaha! So why do people put in all these efforts...pumping muscles, going on date with Porsche cars, keeping nice apartment, dressing beyond budget, taking enhancement drugs, brea**st implant, b**tt augmentation tights, push-up bra, false eyelashes, Brazilian hairs, etc just to attract fake people in their lives?...using your own hard-earned cash to buy trouble?......

I recommend every African mother must read this story to her little daughter: "How A Lazy Trickster Married A Princess" - Chapter Seven on this book I found on internet - African Bedtime Stories (1).

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007NFLB5S/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb

The lesson: Too high expectations and materialism erodes values. And you wonder why celebrity marriages crash within months despite all the wealth they seem to have...a Must read for kids..Values! values!! values!!!, people.

Gaggi: "...... It's better to be without a woman than a troublesome one...."[color=#990000][/color]

Why do I suddenly feel like standing up and clapping for that quote?

Yoooooo! Ok now I know why .......I love peace of mind more than anything. Okay let me clap for that quote now..

mgbeketoto: Your friend will always be there. . . LOVERS COME AND GO!
In marriage. . . You ALWAYS marry a GOOOOOD FRIEND. . .then keep strings of lovers!
The very best of both worlds. . . .!

I never wish to marry any of my lovers. . . WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. . . .NEVER WILL BE!
Too late to develop 'FRIENDSHIPS' that would be as solid as those I have had in the past.
Not innerestid in 'getting to know "OLD DOGS WITH OLD TRICKS"!
Lovers are just for 'scratch and go' purposes ONLY! Not keepers. . . . USE AND DUMP THEM AT WILL. . . KEEP YOUR 'FRIEND AND HUSBAND'!


LOVERS ARE INTERESTING AND UNSTABLE
FRIENDS ARE BORING AND STABLE

Your choice! I have made mine. . .I AM KEEPING FRIENDS ONLY!
I ONLY KEEP MARRIED LOVERS AND FRIENDS!

.. Big, deep hmmmmmmmmm!!! to this candid, blunt contribution. So in the scenarios I gave above the girl in love (lady No.2) should be history? . But u must admit that most marriages are based on people who are 'foolishly' in love and passionate about each other though they may not be friends? Is that why we have divorces everywhere?

Nashville: Both mean the same thing. There are different kinds of love and the love for brother/sister is different from husband/wife. Love itself is a choice. You choose to love just as God chose to love us. What makes loving easier in marriage is if that person is your friend.

Wo! wo!! wo!!!, You all have thrown me into a well of confusion this afternoon, and I am trying to swim out now .

Consider this 2 scenarios: A guy has 2 ladies in his life:

Lady No.1 is not very educated (High School Graduate, while the man is a university graduate). They are best of friends, even buddies that they share almost every info, laf and play like kids. He calls her even in time of pains in his life, they hardly argue (maybe bc the lady has nothing at stake). However, he has no sexual attraction for her even though they can marry (more like best friends). Therefore, if they get married bc they are best friends they may have problems of infidelity. Moreover he is worried about the educational gap.

Lady No 2. Very educated, has a nice job, nice body and carriage. Both are 'in love'. The man is 'In love' with her because she's more of a wife material and fits the picture of 'Mother of his kids', and also may attract more respect to the family. However, they are not as good friends as girl No.1. They argue often & makeup (maybe bc she asserts her rights as an educated lady). She's a bit more conservative than girl No 1, so he really can't do his buddy 'naughty chats' with her, as he does with girl No.1.

If you were to advise this confused man to choose between marrying a friend (Lady No. 1) and marrying a Lover (lady No.2) who will you go for?

honey86: Yes o, I miss my pacesetters. Those books were the highlight of my growing up years. Unfortunately, its been discontinued but I was able to buy some from a bookshop in ibadan few years ago.

Pacesetter Novels by McMillan Publishers Nigeria

[url]http://www.africabookcentre.com/acatalog/Pacesetters.html [/url]

honey86: pacesetter series available on amazon.

OMG! Pacesetter!!! By McMillan publishers. I remember those love stories, we competed who'll read the most..LoL! When Nigerian youth cared abt things that mattered & not cheap miracles & empty values as it's today.

Woged2005: Finding good books written by Nigerians documenting Nigerian culture, history, family, and folk tales, etc is hard to find in bookshops abroad. Please if you have come across a link of any good Nigerian book that will make a good family reading online, either on Amazon, e-books, please post them here. Please ensure it can be downloaded by people abroad (not in hard-copies). I want to expose my nieces and nephews to Nigerian culture and folktales; not always about 'Cinderella' & co.. LoL!

Thanks for your cooperation.

This is the type of post responsible peopple want to see on Frontpage. Something that can enlighten & inspire our youth towards positive values but rather they will push pictures of young girlfriends of two young singers (who should be in school) for us to compare which one has the biggest bu.tt & bosoms. Zero value system in Nigeria. SMH!

A story about incest in an African Family by Tessy Onwueme

The Broken Calabash-By Tessy Onwueme

http://www.worldcat.org/title/broken-calabash/oclc/79436741

Nice thread. @Woged2005, try this one. The Author's name sounds like Nigerian. My girlfriend found it on Amazon.com. I read it from her kindle book reader. It reminded me of my childhood growing up in Africa and listening to grandma's stories in the night. Quite a compilation of African moonlight stories with morals for kids. A nice attempt by whoever...


African Bedtime Stories (1): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007NFLB5S/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb

Enjoy! Will search now and post more if I find any.

bigheart2013: Generally most small scale manufacturers have problems with marketing their goods. They always need help. They have little risk paying you 10% of what you made. They will only give u samples anyway and supply the orders you get. But you must be Honest, reliable, trust-worthy, and very hardworking. Once you fail one person the story circulates fast and you are doomed. It's a self-employment you can start without any capital (just like the Avon and Mary-kay business abroad). U only need integrity. I suggest you deal with companies that sell high value products like Industrial chemicals, Aluminum sheets, Ladies cosmetics, quality perfumes, etc. All the luck.

I want to add that the N18k you make now is only 10% of N180k (10 cartons of soap at N18k each)...LoL! The average cost of a long-span Aluminum to roof a 3-bedroom flat is about N400k. 10% of that is N40k..LoL!. My point is that as a man it's quite easy to survive on commission on sales than salary. Moreover u're building ur own business too. The problem is that every Nigerian wants to sit in an office with a tie..

My brother I have been there several times. I have to encourage you to look beyond employment and create one for yourself. Here's how I survived:

I walked up to a company that manufactured customized office dust-bins and offered to market for them on 10% commission. It was difficult initially. I later negotiated with two more companies, one manufacturing hair products at Lagos, the other manufactured soap. I was marketing for 3 companies on 10% commission. A lot of talking, waka-about, and insults but that's why I am a man. After about 6 months, my monthly commission surpassed the salary I lost. Trust me once I got some cash I zoomed out of the country for good...LoL!!

Generally most small scale manufacturers have problems with marketing their goods. They always need help. They have little risk paying you 10% of what you made. They will only give u samples anyway and supply the orders you get. But you must be Honest, reliable, trust-worthy, and very hardworking. Once you fail one person the story circulates fast and you are doomed. It's a self-employment you can start without any capital (just like the Avon and Mary-kay business abroad). U only need integrity. I suggest you deal with companies that sell high value products like Industrial chemicals, Aluminum sheets, Ladies cosmetics, quality perfumes, etc. All the luck.

I read most of the reasons. But unfortunately most of the responses I guess are not from property owners. Here are some reasons.

1. Most banks in Nigeria regard a fenced land as a developed property, and can be used as a collateral for loans unlike an empty land without any structure. The fence increases the value of the land.
2.Most people in Nigeria buy empty lands first and wait for some years to raise funds for the development. fencing helps protect it from fraudsters and trespassers. Usually fraudulent 419 people don't tamper with developed property for fear that the owner is alive, around and may show up.
3. Trust me the major reason is privacy for one's valuable movable property
4.For some dubious activities going on inside. They don't want neigbours see them either punching their wives, or dragging a poor girl hawking groundnuts or oranges inside for intimate activities..LoL!

It's never for security because criminals in Nigeria can easily pull a fence down with dynamites.

lumideezle: So my dear to answer your question directly, first things first, temporarily shut down your bakery, get professionals to prepare a good business plan and feasibility study so you can know exactly what you are or have gotten yourslf into.

There are many good points you made in your thread, as a professional but it was lost with so much laced-in advertisements of your services. So apparently you were not providing her any solutions, rather advertising your service.. Trust me dear, it's a warning alert in biz.

The issue is this is an existing business (Already a Portfolio) and not a new business in incubation. So the approach is not the same. She wants profit maximization strategies, which could be cost-cutting, output maximization, product diversification, or risk mitigations. Please we want to learn from you, from your experience with your clients and pray you narrow down to solutions. God will reward you immensely even if cannot pay you. I own a biz there and want to learn too.

A doctor doesn't tell a lung-cancer patient to get out and hang himself because he's smoker. Help if you can.

chaircover: Good one Big Heart & And to add to that

1.Before I employ you, I must know you dele dele, where you live, where your parents live, where you worship and so on.

2.Never tell them when you are coming. I call my staff just before I board my flight and give them a whole heap of instructions and update my BBM DM with things like “looking forward to going to Manchester for the weekend” I love night flights because I will get to the shop minutes before opening time and catch you if you arrive at work late.

3.This may not go down well with some people but I do the unthinkable, for example if I if you come late or don’t turn up for work and I catch you, I will get someone to close the shop & make them realise that they are dispensable. When they realise that they have more to loose than me, they kind of get the message and sit up tight

4.I am not afraid to arrest you if you give me dodgy accounting and I make it clear that I will “forget” them at the police station and return back to the UK

5.I also don’t play with their wages. They get paid above market rates and a day before the end of the month. I believe that if you treat staff fairly their conscience will prick them but most importantly God too sees all. If they work on a public holiday, I give them a day off of their choice to make up.

6.I also let my staff feel as part of the biz and I ask them their opinions and give them a free hand to arrange stock and make some decisions. On good sale months I give them like a bonus so that they feel part of the biz and not just a worker ant.

7.When I send stock to Nigeria, I also make sure that I send them a little gift no matter how small.

8.I send mystery shoppers to my shop and they never know who is who so they have no choice but to treat all my customers well.

9.Stock checks are done when they least expect and for example I may say to them to take me a BBM picture of a particular item on the shelf so I cross check the number against my spreadsheet.

10.I use the nearest bank to the shop . . 30 seconds walk LOL. I don’t care if they pay in only N1000 . . and I get an immediate alert by Email on my Blackberry.

11. am also not a nose in the air madam. I sweep, clean, mop, dust etc and attend to my customers when I am around and so my staff have no choice but to learn from me.

12.Firm but Fair has always worked for me.

. . . and yes thank God for BBM . . . very useful piece of technology

You are a Genius..Wow! You should be teaching Nig-Bus101 at Unilag!..

I wrote this as a response to another thread, then many Nairalanders loved it and suggested I share it with everyone. I asked a question before on Nairaland on how someone living abroad can own a business in Nigeria and got very useful tips. Here's a summary:

1. Businesses are established not only for financial profits (cash) but also for economic profits (non-cash), which may be to provide employment ur sister, or to make name, etc. establish which one is more important to you.
2. If you live outside Nigeria never hire a family member or relative to run your business.
3. Don't hire anyone who come to you advertising him/herself or begging for jobs
4. Hire people through a thorough interview process like a real company does. They'll respect the job more.
5. Do not pay salaries. Share the risks by paying only commissions (usually 10% on sales, or about 40% on profits.
6. Commission on sales is more motivating for hard-working people
7. U can also pay a base + commission. Anyone who cannot live on commission is not business-minded. Afterall the owner lives on profit only
8. Have a Bank account with a Microfinance bank (they help small businesses more) not a commercial bank
9. Every dime made must be paid into the bank (and withdrawn if needed)to build cash-flows in case you need loan some day. they should take pictures of bank slips and receipts of purchases and BBM u immediately the transaction is done.
10. Use BBM to stay connected and on top of business. BBM can transmit instant pictures of events & real-time chats as if you are there.
11. Be ruthless, professional, and out rightly non-sense with Nigerians. A lot of fraudulent crappy people out there.
12. You may take a bank loan to share the risk with a local bank, and let part of the loan be management TA (technical assistance), so the bank can provide their own manager to run the bakery professionally as a partner.
13. Another option is to rent out the bakery to a baker who pays you a flat fee every month, just like you will rent out a house you built to a tenant.
14. Every receipt must have the seller's or buyer's phone number on it (not hand-written). make random calls each month to audit or confirm transactions. If they know you call sellers and buyers, they will shape up.
15. Be patient! A business setup in January is not supposed to be making profit by now o!. It usually takes about a year or more to make profits.
16. On marketing use established re-sellers who buy in bulk and pay cash- Supermarkets, bread sellers, restaurants, shops, etc. Don't sell directly to people yet.
17. Please, please, please, hire a lady as a manager, preferably an educated married lady with kids. That's the only thing that works in Nigeria. They may be slow, but at least they won't loot your funds.

18. Ok having said all this. Please fire family members now if they are not performing. Give them money to start their life somewhere.