₦airaland Forum

kulyie: .so i understand when ladies are moved by such the only issh i have is that she should make getting out of school her priority,at 25 she should be in an office,rounding up her masters or shop not school doing buga with 21,23,20 etc

You're right. but strikes by lecturers lengthen years spent in school, and graduation year..

Efemena_xy: Don't you think your views are a bit skewered here?

How can you say those are the sort of girls men look for in marriage, yet, it's these same men that try ever so hard to buy love with material wealth. If a man with low self-esteem / confidence issues throws money at girls' faces, flashes his flash car and bachelor pad, then what do you expect the girls in question to do?

Mind you, I'm not defending these awon / runz girls. Far from it. I'm only just letting you know that the men in question must take equal blame for the girls being so corrupt.

I get your point. I already said earlier that some Nigerian men are "..too patronizing and outright irresponsible.." on the way they try to buy love from girls who don't like them anyway. However, you agree a man/woman of integrity will never accept stolen goods no matter the value. In the same way @chaircorver already said a girl of integrity should turn down money-for-love gesture, and I agree with that. Trust me most white ladies in US will insult you if you try to give them money gift.

yellowpawpaw: Poster let's start from u.
So u mean u hv never giving a gal an expensive gift?

Yes, I'll give a super-expensive gift to MY woman in appreciation to her years of loyalty & love but not to a girl I just met at a shopping mall or street. My gf doesn't ever ask me for money. She's from a very humble background and lives in Nigeria too. Maybe I'm lucky.

I'd always preferred to help a girl get a job than giving her free money. Once I found out a girl is after money, I respectfully let her go, because under pressure such a girl will do anything to get money from another man. Girls with needy spirit are very dangerous! They try to get rich on you, even if it means giving out your info to kidnappers to get some share. Don't forget that not all 'poor' girls have 'needy' spirit. I therefore prefer to use the term 'humble background' to 'poor background'. There are well-paid bankers who still have needy spirit. They still ask for transport fare when they visit a bf There are Nigerian girls who don't have money, car, flashy clothes, they live in face-me-I-face-you yard, yet they have self-respect and dignity. Those are the type of girls men are looking for in marriage. Quality and not quantity matters! Hope our girls get it!!

chaircover: We are still saying the same thing. Something is wrong if at her age, she cant put her foot down to someone trying to buy her affections with gifts.

Every girl needs to be "taught" from very early in their life not to accept gifts from men in exchange for anything. It puts you in compromising situations. Now that she collected the phone, the man has access to her, which he probably wouldn't have had, had he not bought the phone for her. Bigheart, you still need to talk to her. You dont bother smelling what you have no intention of eating.

But honestly we blame Nigerian girls unfairly for being gullible. Some Nigerian men are too patronizing & outright irresponsible. How can a man give a lady who possibly doesn't like him a gift of N50k yet we say there's hardship in Nigeria? Ironically some of these men can't pay their rents on time or foot family obligations to their siblings and parents. Same man will complain tomorrow that the same girl is too materialistic. Maybe one lady was right when she wrote "Any girlfriend that asks for money from a man doesn't like him, and any man that gives money to a girlfriend have no respect for her because he sees her as needy"

soul_glo: You will lose the one that has never been corrected. That tone is what this girl needs. As long as you are not being disrespectful with the lesson then it's all good in my opinion. You can't sugar coat a lesson like this because it can significantly impact her life. If it is something that will help her through life then it is worth a few minutes of being uncomfortable.

I tried making contact with her via phone yesterday but the noise in the background was too much. I sent her a soft-tone text

"..I'm hapi u're doin well at schl & lukin healthy. but I think dat big fone i saw u wit can attract thieves to rob u. Also pple hu wana help u may think u're rich. wit ur bkgrnd it sends a wrong signal o, haba...LoL!.. just a brotherly advice.."

she wrote back "..uncle u'r not d 1st to say dat. but it's a make-up gift frm a frnd afta a big quarrel, & he's always checking to c I stil hav d phone. maybe he tot i sold it like one money-lover. men hia say nig gals dont value gift but only mony. Pls I'm not a bad girl. uncle, even whn u dont want dis thinz, & dnt want dem, men hia'll pester u wt big gifts & cash to woo u. wot do u do?...pls sorry sir 4 ma behavior"

When I asked further that I thought it's from her bf I know as a student, she said it's not from him rather from a guy, where she did her IT who wants to go out with her... . Should I discourage her to date dis type of man who 'buys' love with cash & gifts? However, I don't want to meddle with her privacy...she won't share info with me again.

soul_glo: If at her age she has not found a way to rise above all that then I truly feel sorry for her. Why does she have to wear peruvian or brazilian hair? What happened to Nigerian hair? Please. I don't feel sorry for her.

You are right! Looking at the myriads of unprecedented number of failed marriages and relationships among the younger generation of Nigerians both at home and broad, one can only say having a woman who can do anything for the sake of money is a recipe for failed marriage. On the other hand, having a man who cannot provide achieves same. Yet the spirit of self-content (being satisfied with what you have no matter how little), while aspiring to acquire more through hard-work and legitimate means that don't debase one's dignity and respect is called 'Value'. This is lacking in modern day Nigeria. This is the reason why thousands of ladies cannot be married (because no man wants trouble at home), and millions of men continue to lack (due to dishonest spirit). We can blame devil, spiritual husbands, witches, wizards, etc all we can. You are simply responsible for your failures and successes in life, and until you take full responsibility, you ain't moving an inch.

kulyie: haaaa great god.yorubas say you dont handle some matters toughly simply because it appears tough.you will just create a rebellious,disrespectful and wayward girl out of her.you dont handle such matters with that kind of approach.if you live or work around undergraduates,you will understand better.to her,if you tell her that she will say brother mi o love mi.my brother doesnt like me,i asked him for money,he didnt give me and the guy i am dating gave me and now he is angry i am using a 5ok phone because he is not using one ,he doesnt want me to date this guy etc

There are many truths and lessons from your post and previous posts on this matter...you are right on the issue of peer-pressure on campus, instilling a rebellious spirit that can make her even worse, etc. Moreover, a young girl in love is like a 'Train with failed brakes' if you stand in front, she sweeps you head-on. I remember, while in school, a young promising girl in our neighborhood who ran away from her parents' decent house, abandoned school for many months just to go and live with her boyfriend in a make-shift shelter at the 'Mechanic village' because she was criticized and rebuked by her mother. Unfortunately, before she could be found, she was already heavily pregnant. Shame couldn't let her return home. She became a school drop-out and very young mother, with all regrets later. A parents' worst fears!

greatgod2012: The truth is what is an undergraduate who can't afford to raise 10k by herself doing with a 50k phone. To even think her bf is also an undergraduate, where did she think the guy got the money to buy the gift for her?

The wise @greatgod2012 as usual, you are always on point, and see beyond! That's exactly my point. The only reason I mentioned her boyfriend in the post being an undergraduate is because I don't believe her claim that he was the one that bought the phone. Where did the poor boy get the money from?..something tells me that phone is from a much richer person somewhere. My dilemma is that it's mere suspicion, which can destroy trusts even between a father and daughter, talk-less of btw cousins.. Her parents are not educated, so I am more like her mentor on education. Therefore, I don't want to make her become withdrawn when she needs counseling most...A tight rope to walk actually!

My little cousin (about N25yrs) asked me for a financial help of N10,000 to help her offset urgent school expenses. But when she showed up to collect the money, I noticed she had a brand new iphone worth over N50k, which she kept chatting on, as she waited in the parlor, also wearing a sophisticated hairstyle (I’m not a lady so I don’t know how to tell if the hair is expensive or not). However, I was a bit pulled back, and only managed to compliment saying “That’s a nice phone, where did you buy it?” She said it was a gift from her friend, and smiled. Her only boyfriend I see her with always is also a college student like her. So she means a school boyfriend gave her a phone gift of over N50k, and she accepted, when her parents are both petty traders struggling to survive in the village? I gave her the 10k anyway. My mind tells me something is not right with her lifestyle if she doesn’t have N10k but has a phone worth over N50k, and looked pretty sophisticated. I don’t want this good girl to get into the popular lifestyle of some girls in Nigeria, who waste their future and life goals doing anything for material things. My mind is telling me to have a soul chat with her, but I don't know how to I start to avoid being too judgmental. I may end up losing her trust and friendship if she feels I’m judging her unfairly.

Please give me suggestions how to do this and not sound too judgmental if my goal is to subtly communicate to her:

1). That parading such expensive gifts sends a wrong signal
2). That taking expensive gifts from a school boyfriend is inappropriate
3). How can she politely turn down an expensive gift from a man- can she sell a gift rather?
4). To discourage her from experimenting with ‘runs’ (campus bo.oty call), or sugar daddy lifestyle that may backfire in future.

Thanks for your suggestions

Woged2005: Lessons Learned From Gov Chime's Wife's Situation:

Do many naija girls learn anything from this woman's story? I don't think so, because every one of us want to hit it 'big'. There are consequences for every decision you take in life.

Hmmm! Long pause!...truth hurts, especially when it hits conscience. I believe in Karma though..but only God knew what happened. In every Nonsense, there is a sense. Let's remove the Chime's case and take the sense from the post. Period!

Efemena_xy: Abeg, don't tar everyone with the same brush.

I do none of the stuff you've just listed, and neither do the people I mix with. It all depends on the type of friends and people you associate with. Judging from the tone of your post, you need a complete overhaul mate.

I neither said you did nor hang out with people who did. But if you claim you either don't know who doe's or never read about these then you're being evasive on the issue. Even up to 30% threads on NL Family section are all on the issues I raised (family infidelity, personal attacks on OPs, tribal and religious bickering on any topic, etc). I neither posted those nor knew the OPs, so how can you claim you never heard before? Anyway, Pastor Fatoyimbo never accepted that he did, nor knew people who did, until the ladies started talking. Who should we ask?

pickabeau1: OK.. You are free to renounce your citizenship

A lot of you guys already despise those 'unfortunate' to be in naija..

This is exactly what is wrong with Nigeria. Nobody is criticizing you for living in Nigeria. I lived there too and still have significant presence there till date. The thread is not even about people living in Nigeria. It's about Nigerians living abroad. If I have to renounce my citizenship like you suggested in order to criticize what is bad, doesn't that say a lot about Nigeria then? Or are you saying Nigeria or Nigerians condone bad things? Adage: "I'll never support stealing because my dad was the thief"

pickabeau1: hahahhaa... e be like say u get some nasty ahzz people around you ...

these qualities are human and universal ...change the people around you

I beg to differ please. Did you ever hear that Mali, India, Malaysia, South Africa, etc are protesting against having citizens of any other country in their country except Nigerians? Are all those Nigerians living there my relatives and friends? Let's not always rush to dismiss criticisms rather than look inward and make amends. It's like defending your daughter each time she does something wrong, she will never learn or change.

I agree they happen everywhere, but there are certain ills that are very profound among us Nigerians. Let's face it and never defend it. If you doubt it try applying for a visa same time with a Kenyan, or Ugadan to USA or UK and see who gets it. There are issues!

drnoel: so true,.....but on anoda note ur tone is rather very bad. If I may ask, did u have an encounter with such or did someone u know suffer such. Ma broda its why am not friends with many Nigerians and none have come to my house. I meet all outside.

I keep reading and hearing these stories even on Nairaland and other Nigerian blogs. I've had few close brushes (mostly in business transactions) but not as serious as what I read sometimes. Maybe because I left Nigeria many years ago and most of my Nigerian friends have either lived all or most of their lives abroad, so can only be called Nigerians on paper. The most rampant these days are men sleeping with their friend's wives once the man travels. I know some people embroiled in that bitter scandals. Not sure whom to blame, the betrayer friends, constantly-traveling Nigerian husbands, or their unfaithful wives. How really does a man get too close to his friend's wife,without the husband suspecting? Where was he?

It’s very disheartening to read daily how Nigerians abroad (especially in the USA & UK) pull each other down. It’s getting to a point, where it’s safer to keep a foreigner as a friend than a fellow Nigerian. News and stories are awash of:

1. Nigerian men sleeping with their friend’s wives when the friend is on travel
2. Spreading false rumors to tarnish a fellow countryman’s image,
3. violent in-fighting in so-called towns meetings/associations
4. Nigerian pastors interfering deeply in private family issues and advising members to divorce their wives
5. Seeking personal vendetta at work to pull a country man down from a high position
6. Excessive vengeance and back-biting amongst our sisters
7. Wives going any length to destroy the career and image of their husbands over minor quarrels (especially some nurses), etc.

Un-heard of before, many Nigerian families abroad now are broken homes, leaving Nigerian kids growing without the love and attention of both parents due to friends-engineered divorces and separations. This is not our culture.

Please I only need matured advice and solutions to chide these shameless adults and to discourage those who are nursing such thoughts now not to join the queue. Our name ‘Nigerians’ is becoming the most hated name on Earth, thanks to us Nigerians. We are not the poorest nation in Africa, so why don’t other Africans behave like this?

Poor Kids, sorry! The price of coming from a corrupt nation. However, I never had to write TOEFL when I did my post-graduate in USA. The admission office of the Uni insisted, but I went to the Dean's office and argued it out that Nigeria is an English-speaking country. I was very courteous, never raised my voice but remained adamant and passionate. During the course of my discussions she was paying attention to my use of English Language. At the end she agreed with me that I didn't need it, and sent email to the admissions officer to allow me register. Maybe I was lucky. But sometime if you can prove yourself USA administrators are very hands-on & believe in merit. You just need to prove yourself.

Well, with corruption everyone pays dearly. Another reason why you young Nigerians must stop cheering corruption and wealthy criminals. They are wasting your future, while you applaud them.

salsera: Do you have issues with specific churches? as long as you dont attend them wetin concern you
Do you have issues with the church your friends wife attends? again wetin concern you

I only used the instances to buttress how deep-seated religious dogmatism and fanaticism cannot just be wished away or negotiated as suggested.

However, specific to your bolded comment, I don't like when evil happens, as long as it's not at your doorstep, most Nigerians will tell you "wetin concern you, mind your business". Until same evil happens at their door-step, then others will say the same, that evil keeps spreading. I live in a country where everybody is a security man/ woman, pays attention, and reports it. It concerns everybody, it's everyone's business. That's how USA remains secure for people to come here to enjoy freedom. Most crimes are nipped in the bud here by watchful neigbors and passers-by, and not by police. When people know everybody is watching, bad people feel uncomfortable. Please I will encourage you to change that attitude. When things are going wrong, it's your business, ask questions and intervene. It makes a community strong and safe.

Seun: What are we planning to do about this problem?

I found out that many people do not even know what, Child Abuse and Child neglect are. They can't different between the 2. The problem is that these problems are backed by religion making it difficult for anyone to see reasons.

Solutions:
1. E-campaign on websites like Nairaland to sensitize people of what Child abuse is and the effect
2. Partnership with churches to educate their members especially young women during marriage counseling and women's meetings
3. Everyone must intervene. If you see your neighbor abusing a child, please intervene. Don't say it's no your business
4. Human right NGOs must follow cases to logical conclusion. They should not just report cases to police, publish it in their website to get funding and leave knowing Nigeria's police will collect bribe and set the culprits free. They must follow up to ensure that the culprits are prosecuted to set example to others.
5. Catch the culprits on camera and share them on Nairaland, for public instant e-judgement

Types Of Child Abuse:

Physical abuse:
1.Hitting a child with fist or objects to inflict pain
2.Subjecting a child to corporal punishment including spanking
3.Encouraging older boys to s.exually molest a minor child
4.Feeding children illegal drugs, cigarettes and alcohol beverages
5.Having intimate pleasure with a minor (statutory r.ape)
6.Depriving a child sleep (sleep deprivation as a punishment)
7. Asking a child to steal items for an adult
8. Child p.ornography
9.Street trading/ Child labor
10.Striping a child nude in the public as a form of punishment
11. Child Marriage

Emotional Abuse
1.Berating a child and using hurting abusive words
2.Calling a child demon-possessed, witch, or wizard
3.Calling a child a 'bastard', 'ugly'
4.Denying a child love and attention
5.Using children to make money
6. Abusing a child's poor or dead parents
7.Discriminating against a child
8.Refusing to acknowledge the greeting or painful cries of a child.

Child Neglect
1.Starving a child when the parent/ guardian can afford food
2.Denying a child education (not sending a child to school)
3.Abandoning a child in harms way unattended
4.Not taking a sick child to a hospital when he/she is sick
5.Not providing adequate clothing for children, when parents/guardian can afford it


Please add more

soul_glo: Unless his wife is mentally unstable she cannot still insist that this man is diabolic and refuses for her husband to go there. These two (wife and OP) just have issues with each other it seems.

You have no idea the type of newbreed church-goers we have in Nigeria today. Let me share a little with you:

1. A Nig pastor in USA divorced his wife with 2 kids because another pastor in same church saw vision that the woman is not his God-appointed wife. The church is a popular one originated at S-E Nigeria once embroiled in 'Otokoto saga'...connect the dots.

2. A Nigerian woman (A working LPN Nurse) in USA secretly wired over $8,000 to a pastor in Nigeria for secret prayers (God knows for what) at a time their house was nearly foreclosed in US over debts, while she claimed she had no money. She filed divorce when the secret was exposed.

3. Hope you know about the popular female pastor at Cross Rivers/ Akwa Ibom who's labeling innocent children witches and wizzards behind their parent's financial ill-luck. Many of the parents actually either abandon the kids as young as 4yrs or tried to kill them based on what the pastor said. Just a few instances

In all these few mentioned cases, do you rule the people as mentally stable? The way these churches indoctrinate their members, some members can kill their mother if a pastors say so. You can only describe them as mentally traumatized. So I know what I'm up against. I've no issue with the lady in question.

soul_glo: You have got to be kidding? I think you have woman issues. No offense

I was raised by a strong mother, have a loving sister and in a happy rewarding relationship. So I don't know how you can say that. However show me one broken relation or marriage, I will show you one friend behind it. There're simple ethics in every aspect in life, which we should take time to learn. Please it's inappropriate for a man to be communicating with his friend's wife (vice versa). Don't get me wrong. I didn't say a man should not be friendly, talk to or exchange greetings with his friend's wife. I said 'communicating' (involving to & fro messages/feedbacks). How would you take a man who calls his friend's wife on the phone to compliment her looks, sharing personal issues, or pouring out anger? What will her husband think if he gets a wind of that? That's how stories of most infidelity started "..he started calling me, telling me how beautiful I was, made me feel like a woman..bla-bla-bla..." If you doubt, go and ask pastors, bosses, etc who got into scandals how it stared..

But I am always open to learn. Maybe you can teach me something new on this. I'll be happy to learn from you.

Mamacita007: You have a bad impression of her wat do u expect? i prefer scented candles even in the summer that my former roommates used to complain. i dont believe ur story one bit becos scented candles are usually in a nice container & even the single coloured ones dont look like the type they use in naija movies for prayers. my sister always buys scented candles from UK & they rush it back home. even if she's ignorant, why dont you jokingly explain that you love candles in front of your friend & make her understand becos maybe you dont know but you sound judgmental too. she's ignorant means she doesn't know.

1. No please! Not all candles (scented or unscented) are in containers, otherwise walmart and other deco shops won't be selling candle holders. If you haven't seen one before ask questions.
2. On making joke with her, please no smart man get's into a direct communication with his friend's wife if you have respect for your friend. If you see anyone doing that, please caution him, it's unethical and can breed trust issues. A decent man communicates with his friend's wife through his friend (her husband). It's a mark of respect for the family. Eg. If your friend's wife dressed beautifully you don't admire her directly, you tell your friend that his wife is looking beautiful. Moreover, you cannot explain to someone who didn't ask you. She didn't talk to me, she spoke with her husband. Whom should I tell her told me?

Now you can see you rush to conclusions.

xtassie: . The guy is a full blown nigerian forming american citizen he even used pidgin english sef 'abeg'

So Nigerians abroad don't speak Pidgin English? That's a bit myopic! Because one went abroad he'll now change his accent, behave like Oyibo?..I SMH! That's not the topic please.

I opened a thread yesterday that most (not all) Nigerian ladies are ungrateful, some of them started insulting me on their posts. But you have to deal with a cross-section of our 'sisters' to draw conclusions for yourself. Read newspapers and see the type of cruelty young women in Nigeria deal their house helps. If you have a good heart you will cry. I shake my head in disbelief when some of the reports go on to say the alleged crimes were committed by members of some of the so-called pentecostal churches. What do they learn in those churches, and what do they practice? How can a woman sell her 12yr old maid's virginity to a 45 yr-old man for N500? How can a woman use a hot iron on the back of an 8yrs old because he lost N1,000? How can a young woman insert a hot rod into the private part of a 9yr old maid bc she watched TV rather than wash dishes? Sometime I feel there are no demons in hellfire anymore, they are all in Nigeria!

I can only say that yesterday's run's girls (campus prostitutes) who had no values for their bodies are today's mothers and wives. Nigeria is reaping the effects of years of continued moral decadence on campuses in every aspect of the family -poor parenting skills, cruelty to children, marital problems, dishonesty, ungratefulness, infidelity, materialism, ungodliness, etc.

The worse culprits are the best preachers! I must add there are still many good Nigerian ladies with the heart of Gold. I have worked with many well-raise girls, and may God bless them. However majority are simply inhuman even in relationships, and marriage.

Bro, trust me. I have tried to work with a lot of Nigerians back home when I tried to do business. Nigerians are some of the most unprofessional and difficult people to work with, especially the new graduates.

1.A lady shows up for work 1hr late and goes into another 30mins 'quiet time' (prayer) leaving customers to complain. She doesn't even care
2.staff abandon their work and attend burial, or church crusade for days and show up to be paid full salary
3.The cost of managing some Nigerians back home is high. If u hire them u have to hire someone to monitor them otherwise they steal you silly. What a crap!
4. Majority work for money and don't care about the job. Private business must make money before they pay salary
5. Some want to be compensated for a big paper degree with no expertise or hands-on skill to back it.

This is not how things work in some of this countries abroad. So don't blame foreigners who have strong work ethics. If you wana work with Nigerians back home you must be very strict, otherwise you will lose your investment. Period!

There are reasons why unemployment level in Nigeria is very high. It's not just lack of jobs but also lack of employable hands.

Ngokafor: Ok sorry about,i admit i was out of line and rude...

Thanks! This is what matters - apologies when one errs. Once more you have done Nigeria proud. Most people would never apologize due to pride. I also apologize on my comments on you.. I am so proud of what you just did. Keep it up! Your dignity has fully been restored.

Ngokafor: @op i think there's something seriously wrong with you,worse with touts that agreed with you..
...so being ungrateful has now been narrowed down to gender??...you guys really need to grow up and act your various old ages you idiots!....the fact that you are idle doesnt mean you should be stupid.
... you gave few examples and viam!, you and your cheerleaders(mostly kids incapable of wiping their a***s after pooing how much more helping anyone) concluded in your pea-brains that most Nigerian women are ungrateful...ill-mannered twats always quick to insult women and girls like they dont have mothers,sisters,aunts....

....however,i find solace in the fact that my brothers,father and my man are not n a way like most of you..that i am eternallly grateful for!

My sister, from your rant bolded here you have betrayed some level of dignity and decency educated ladies are known for. Decent ladies don't fight in the public no matter the provocation...your dignity must stands out at all times! Please No insults on people even if u disagree! Put in some thoughts before typing next time. Millions are reading. The post clearly said "Most Nigerian Ladies (Not all)". There was no generalization.

luvola: @ op - the thumb rule is never expect a return whenever you help a lady ..that is the fact !! Assume i approach you to help me get a job , you will not but if a lady should approach you , you wil quickly help the person.. I need a job seriously : course - accounting , grade : 2.1 . Finished nysc 4 months ago , email - olaklives05@yahoo.com. Expecting your beep. Thanks and God bless

What's your location, and what are your job experiences? I can't communicate with you privately because that's not why I joined Nairaland, and since I'vent worked with u before may not give u references. But I can mentor you online on job search/ interview skills, and help put your CV in order to get interviews. That's where most young Nigerians get it wrong. God will see u through, bro. Don't give up. U can send to my inbox.

obadiah777: so you sold a house to get $36,000 to pay for your sister to get her masters degree in canada ? are you crazy ? you sold something that is solid for something flimsy and stupid. masters degree for $36,000? wtf is that ? some piece of paper saying you spent 12 months learning rubbish from oyinbo uni abi ? yo mama go swear for you in her grave

You may be right, but she's the 'Queen' of the house. Our late mom would have sold even her clothes to see her through her dreams...in my part of Nigeria a family does not joke with a first daughter because she is the chief Ambassador of the family, and plays a vital role in the family. My late mom would have even been more disappointed wherever she is if I didn't do that. That's the only sister I have and we can't let her ambitions go to drains, or have a man disrespect/ take advantage of her because she lacks..My mom will weep in her grave for that.

soul_glo: You're not married because you don't want to get married. Life is about making choices. You made a poor one. Blame no one but yourself.

"You won't understand" is a popular slang at PH. Haven't you ever heard of married men who complain that their new wives came in and brought 'katakata' between them and their siblings? Maybe you haven't been in such a situation, and I don't pray you get into one. In this part of the world, it's usually because the man rushed to bring in a wife without settling his siblings first and generally a wife from another culture may not understand why a Nigerian man is helping his 35yrs old brother. Here we believe 'blood is thicker than water'..

StateOfMind: Mr, what exactly is your problem? Do you help people just because you want them to worship you after the help rendered? I can't even believe you are already lamenting and whining about helping your own blood sister. You should be ashamed of yourself.....

I also don't understand how being ungrateful is now a gender thing. I bet if a non-nigerian came here to generalise about nigerians being ungrateful, many posters would have pounced on him and cursed him for the foolish generalization. Now every BOY has a story to tell about ungrateful nigerian women..

This is a blog for Nigerians, who discuss issues peculiar to Nigerians...please go back and check the name 'Nairaland' . You absolutely have the rights to spend more time on foreign blogs. But if you wana 'waste' your time here, be ready to hear Nigerian gists. We are Nigerians, and discuss Nigerian stuff, sometime not necessarily what you may like to hear. Our great country recently passed 'Freedom Of Information Bill'. We are free at last to air our views without intimidation, thanks to GEJ ! Remain blessed!