₦airaland Forum

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

You are in a very delicate situation, if you don't solve all this unsolved issue.

If the two of you do not agree on the kind of families you want to raise, your finances, how she has to work and contribute to the family, your relationship as couples can break the both of you spiritually and emotionally.

The onus falls in you to dot your i's and cross your t's.

Don't be in haste to get married.

I leave you in peace

Pochettino:
I predict over 3 million AFONJAS will be lost to this Fulani war once its finally over.

You statement above is very unfortunate it only revealed the very low side of your intelligence.

MRLANNISTER:
Closing soon

Do you know anything about the organisation?

walcruise:
More photos

That's French styled military probably Cameroon or Niger.

So the Lion was not killed by a Nigerian bullet.

JudeAfoo:
Used to happen to me until I used Rambo/Piff-paff to wipe out wall geckos and cockroaches

The wall Gecko would often lick saliva from the victims mouth, can you beat that.

My suggestion to him too on my post.

Tina4yes:
Please I need answers. I recently started noticing strange three line marks on my body. Like scratches but this is deep with normally three lines and sometimes one line ( I have attached pictures). I do not drink, I always read my scriptures and pray before I sleep. I don’t have any pet. I live in a very clean house (abroad). I do not sleepwalk or have any health issue.

I noticed this before but recently started seeing more of the marks. Please does anyone know what this marks mean, how I can stop it, or any solution? Please don’t comment nonsense answers because I am very serious and need honest answers and solutions. Thank you so much.

Keep your room clean and tidy, funmigate your room against roaches and crawling insects.

What you have described is most often caused by wall gecko.

floss:
After Hijab what else will you see?
NOTHING.....
Let the wearers of Hijab wear their Hijab and the wailers of it continue wailing.
Dem no dey use mirror watch bangle wey dem wear for hand....
Las las we go dey alright.
Christian pupils go and buy Hijab or you get the Bleep out of the school.

It's a Christian school dude, na una go pack commot, go and establish your own school

ThatFairGuy:
We need this down South, they should have let it be.


IF WE CAN NOT PRODUCE WHAT WE EAT DOWN SOUTH, WE SHOULD ALL DIE OF HUNGER.


Education doesn't stop us from practicing large scale mechanized farming


A Nation/group/an individual that cannot feed itself REMAINS SUBSERVIENT TO OTHERS

That's why they have the Fulani militias to keep our farmers away from harvesting.

And should it continue we will remain subservient for a very long time. God forbid it

omoalaro:
*_Hijāb_* *Controversy* *In* *Ten* *Schools* *In* *Ilorin*

On the 19th February 2021, the Kwara State government ordered the closure of ten schools formerly owned by some Christian bodies. The schools were taken over by the government in 1974. The government, however, allowed them to continue to bear their Christian names, while the government has been responsible for the running cost and maintenance of the schools. The ten public schools were ordered closed by the government to prevent the breakdown of law and order following the refusal of the former owners of the schools to allow Muslim teachers and students of the schools use _hijāb_ within the premises of the schools.

It will be recalled that there had been _hijāb_ controversy in Kwara State since 2012, following the attempt of the former owners of the schools to have full control over the schools that had been taken over by the State government. They demanded that the schools should be returned to them. Consequently the government was sued by the Christian bodies at an Ilorin high court but the Kwara Muslim Community applied to be joined in the suit on behalf of the Muslim students who are not allowed to use _hijāb_ in the schools. The State government won the case on the 17th of May 2016. The judgment was appealed and the Christians lost again in September 2019. It is remarkable to note that the Appeal Court ruled that the appellants lacked the right to make Christianity the only standard in the schools. It also said that "the refusal of the schools to allow the use of _hijāb_ is discriminatory as it is a practice in tune with the Constitution. "
The Court of Appeal judgment of September 2019 has not been challenged by the Christians at the Supreme Court. Consequently Muslim students and staff went to their schools with _hijāb_ but they were sent out by the schools' principals and the heads of the Christian bodies which owned the schools before they were taken over by the government in 1974.

One expects these Christian bodies who were dissatisfied with the judgement of the Court of Appeal to proceed to the Supreme Court. Instead they took law into their hands, which is a flagrant disobedience to the judgement of the Court of Appeal. The leaders of the Christian bodies and the principals of the schools should be tried for contempt of court.

Interestingly, Britain that brought Christianity into Nigeria has allowed wearing of the _hijāb_ in her schools since 1980s. The Nigerian Christian bodies want to be more Catholic than the Pope. Toby Howarth, the Bishop of Bradford, in the Diocese of Leeds, of the Church of England supports the wearing of the _hijāb_ by primary school girls. He says:
"This is a matter of religious identity, not sexualization, and the British policy should be not to make a big deal of it, but simply say that you have to wear the right colour that goes with the school uniform" ( _The_ _Sunday_ _Times_ , 03 September 2017)
A _Sunday_ _Times_ survey also reveals that thousands of state primary schools allow girls to wear the _hijāb_ as part of approved school uniform in UK. Incidentally the country has allowed a Muslim woman, in person of Raffia Arshad, who wears _hijāb_ to become a judge.

Ilorin is generally known as a Muslim town. It has been an Emirate since 1823. Muslims are officially in majority. Sharia Court system operates in Kwara State adjudicating over Muslim matters. No non - Muslim has been forced to appear in the court. Christians established schools to convert Muslim students to their religion. They deny Muslims the practice of Islam in an Islamic town with an Emir and great scholars of Islam. The government in its wisdom took over the schools to protect the interest of all, while it has been financing the running of the schools with taxpayers' money, majority of who are Muslims, and yet the Christians continue to oppress the Muslims by not allowing the Muslims to practise their religion. Do the Christians expect the Muslims to fold their hands and watch their children converted to Christianity before their eyes? That is not possible. Christians attend Muslim schools in the state. They are not forced to wear _hijāb_ in the Muslim schools.

Ironically the Bible enjoins Christian females to cover their head (1 Timothy 2:9-10 & 1 Corinthians 11: 4-7). Catholic Rev. Sisters and Mothers obey the biblical injunction. Mary, the mother of Jesus wore _hijāb_ . The artistic impression of Mary as displayed by Christians confirms that. If some Christians now jettison biblical teaching and celebrate nudity, immorality, indecent mode of dressing, Muslims will never do that. They obey the . teachings of the Qur'an on the female mode of dressing (Q33:59 & 24:31). Muslims must note that the Christians want to make Muslims emulate their disobedience to God. Muslims have been warned by Allah against the antics of the Christians (Q2:120). Let's be on our guard and stand firmly by the ethos of Islamic mode of dressing.

Kwara State government should solve this lingering problem once and for all. The government should exercise full control over all the schools that it has taken over. They are public schools. They should be seen as such. No religious body should have any control over the schools. The schools should cease to bear the names that reflect any religious body. They no longer belong to any religious body. That was done in other northern states in 1974.

Principals and Vice Principals should no longer be appointed by the former owners of the schools. Loyalty and allegiance of the Principals and the Vice Principals will always belong to whoever appoints them because whoever pays the piper dictates the tune. The government should appoint them as they appoint other teachers to demonstrate that it is the owner of the schools, and that the schools are not jointly owned by the government and anyone, or partially owned with anyone else.

Every Nigerian has been guaranteed religious freedom by Section 38(1) of the Constitution. Everyone must therefore be allowed to enjoy that freedom wherever he or she may be in Nigeria.

_Jumu'atun_ _Mubārakah_

Prof Yasir Anjola Quadri
14th Rajab, 1442 / 26th February 2021

https://alhikmahuniversity.edu.ng/programmes/

The same reason why Alhikmah and others don't teach Christian theology.

If you attend a Christian school you are bound to accept their curriculum.

Kwara government forcefully took over those schools they don't need government money to run their schools.

You guy's should understand this things. You want to enjoy Christian standard education. Shior

Kaduna1stson:
We the north are planning to support an Igbo man for president because Tinubu cannot control his people.

Hahahah, we know that, even attempts to bring back Goodluck will fail. Has Buhari finished controlling you people. It's Tinubu all the way. Walahi

thebosstrevor1:
I am sure, you just comment for comment sake.

The interview reno showed happened in 2014, we are in 2021, why is reno bringing it up?

Reno wants to create more tension in Nigeria

He brought it up because sheik Gumi just provided the evidence in 2021 the question should have been to Gumi and not to Reno

Nemere2020:
https://ishaqakintola.com/will-not-allow-persecution-muslim-students-kwara/

Is it a must for Muslims to attend a Christian school.

Let them establish their own Jihad school too.

The Muric man seems to me by his utterances trying to divide the country by using religious sentiments.

There's is an islamic University in Osun state would they be allowed to teach Christian theology there?

Balderdash

AntiChristian:
Sorry o! If your assertion is true why didn't the Bible stop at the 5 first books?

I mean why the need for old and new testament. It's evident your Lord changes from old to new testament though you may refuse to see the changes.

The LORD had an army and a sword in the old testament but not in the new testament.

I have Bible verses to back my claims.

The sword in the old testament meant that your comment here is an automatic ticket for you to be lynched, for blasphemy,but the new testament comes with grace so that your soul may find forgiveness. Is he not a good God.

Try what you have said here with any Muslim person or perharps visit kano to see how well you will be received. I mean your soul would have been hades by now.

southniyikaye:
Issokay
Before a Nigerian girl go do this kin thing for you, You go don almost sell your family house for her that's if you never sell una family land...

Before a Nigerian woman go do this kin thing, you go don buy am land, open standard supermarket, she go don almost travel the whole abroad finish...

Nigeria girl/lady /woman do this for you as a bricklayer or laborer?
FUTURE IMPOSSIBLE TENSE

Family house ke, you must have mortgaged your life after selling the family house before she does that.

SlayerForever:
Yoruba people are pushing us to the wall. We are warning you against your continuous attacks on our people. Yorubawa will be dealt with. Berebe banza.

Walah talai, zamu chi burobanku

omojesu202:
It is no news that most marriages are collapsing.
Mine is just two years but I also see signs of collapse.

What's happening in my brothers marriage is painful to me because I know the financial investment and sacrifices he puts into it. I don't know what he did to his wife but she has turned his children against him.

Imagine that you cannot tell your 20 years old first son to wash your car like 7am, the mother will tell you that you should allow him to enjoy his sleep. Not once, not twice and not thrice.
This is the children you'll go hungry and borrow money to pay high school fees to make sure they go to good schools.

It is painful to me because I knew when he was paying 200k per term each on three kids while his basic was just 300k.

Now the firstborn and secondborn will disobey him on ordinary washing of car just because he can no longer meet up.

Please how would you handle such issues?
You might just hear that a man killed his wife and three children in the news. That would not be our portion.

From outside, she has been a good woman but she didn't blend the children to their father. The nature of his job takes him on transfer always and not stationed with his family but regular monthly visit is always there.

Your brother or you should be more concerned about the grievous harm he has placed himself.

Washing of hand is secondary, he has to settle his home and begin to lead it as if he were Hitler.

The use of "Fear" , must be his only option while he is still strong otherwise old age will not to be good a story to tell

pamidez:
First, this moniker was created for this purpose.

So here is my true life story...I wedded my wife (white and traditional) in early 2004 now a little over 15 years ago while I was around 25yrs old. The courtship was about a year and there was no premarital defilement which was encouraged by long distance relationship and above all our Biblical belief.

Now we have 2 children, a boy and a girl, and the first (i.e. a boy) does not look like me at all. He was conceived while she was schooling in one of the south western states (and living off camp) whereas I was in Lagos hustling to pay our bills. She took in immediately after her service and our first child is 12yrs plus.

Due to the free time caused by the CORVID19 effect I decided to clear my worries by doing DNA test on my 2 children and below is the summarized results:

1) SON
- Combined Paternity Index = 0
- Probability of Paternity = 0%

2) DAUGHTER
- Combined Paternity Index = 5,008,715,850
- Probability of Paternity = 99.99999998%

I have known about this result for almost a week now and I intend to file for divorce but the courts are virtually closed according to my lawyer.

Truth is DNA does NOT lie so should I still confront her with this my concrete evidence before the pending legal action?

Should I be bothered about what happens to the (innocent) boy?

Is there anything like mercy or forgiveness?

What else should I do at this moment?

Abeg, I do not want to commit murder during this period....please help!

Very mature advice-s could be sent directly to oludairo@yahoo.com

I have discovered that before a man will look out for a DNA test there might have been a frosty relationship between the couple that been said you have to confront her with the facts at hand,it is how she reacts that will determine what goes on from there.

That boy is now your son, the decision of his mother lies in your hand

Clothingonline9:
Ikotun Lagos

DM your number or shop location. I stay at Ikotun, i can check you out.

prettysassygirl:
Work has kept me extremely busy and I need to hang out more often. Kindly DM me if interested.

If we share the same interest, why not

thatthickgurl:
Hi,
I don't know if this is the right section to do this but I need an accountability partner.

2021 is going to be about self development for me. I want to be intentional about growth.

Please if you're interested, we could be each other's accountability partner.

I need a mentor in the field of tech; I'm interested in learning front-end web development, so I want someone who will push me to achieve my daily goals.

So also, I need someone who will remind me to write at least once weekly, I'm losing touch of my creative side.


Basically, I want
1)An accountability in the field of tech
2)An accountability in the field of arts (writing)


If you meet these criteria, please indicate, so I can send you an email.


Thank you.

We can talk

EzzyCarter:
Abi now. He first aimed at his mistress then "misfired" and then he aimed at himself and "misfired" a second time...Makes a lot of sense What are the odds?

NA has now upgraded their lying machine

Mineisgrace:
It's sooo obvious

The story is so clean,but detectives have seen the missing link

Plut01:
.


The words on the sign post are written in English. Another thing to like about Singapore. An Asian country for that matter.


.

When next you visit ,Mustapha plaza would be great place to shop and carefour shopping plaza.

Great city.

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

Stick to your guns.

She may eventually become a liability to you over there.

Most Nigerian women have that trait, accept her proposal only if you can live with the consequences.

Valenciabaddie:
Pls Its clearly stated that I want "Matured" comments .... Not comments from bitter people ... If anyone is a gold digger then the guy is The gold digger because my parents are richer ...

It's time to call it quit. You don't need to wait to be pampered first before you know that you are about to get in to bondage.

Run,Run, Run as fast as your leg can.

bigtt76:
Toh what can one do again

You are the one causing the confusion. wheno you are bigtt in front and big Dada at the back. �����

Anyways, I think it's the CBN governor that's totally confused when they started the crazy policy without the end in mind.

todaynewsreview:
Hmmmmm....


arresting a member of his family for yet-to-be-ascertained reasons.

SaharaReporters learnt that the policemen stormed the residence in a desperate attempt to pick up the musician, but they met his absence, as he was on a routine morning radio show.

police will leave their barracks with no concrete intelligence.

That's why they are always maimed and demobilised.

It just shows there's no evidence for arrest. shior kelebe

Racoon:
https://www.thecable.ng/we-rescued-kankara-schoolboys-military-contradicts-govs-on-involvement-of-miyetti-allah

Nigerian military that is competing with Lie Mohamed for the best Lie award to be presented this year

Uyi213:
Good evening Nairaland Family. I want to go straight to the point as I am dying inside. For purpose of clarity I will address my ex as Lady A and my current girl as Lady B

Lady A

I have been paying her school fees since 2018 which amounted to more than 200K. I sent her mom 100k when she was stranded in Abuja. Amongst phones, laptops, bags, clothes I have bought for my ex. My ex I know has been sleeping with numerous men around Lagos. In fact this year alone, she slept with 18 guys of which I have 7 of the guys contacts. She does party in hotels around mushin and it’s environs. Her mother is married to the 3rd husband with different children.

My ex gf whom I did her introduction in November left me after I discovered she slept with my cousin two days after the introduction. They exchanged contacts at the introduction and were hooking up behind my back. He sent her money to meet him in a hotel and the rest was history. The mother fought me at the introduction because she thought I shoved her brother in law and really fought me like a thug. Please note that they all grow in Mushin. My ex has a past of which she went with a school friend Of hers to a guy place, left the friend there and the poor girl was raped by 3 of them. And it was learnt she arranged it. Please note I didn’t know all of this she hid it from me but her infidelity is what I know and I thought I could cope till she slept with my cousin and took my 600k at home and some of my valuables

Lady B.

Now I have moved on and am dating her friend whom I find so so cool and she is a independent lady and she also schools. I am totally in love with Lady B. My ex found out and started spreading lies on the poor girl Through their school group chat that she snatched her financee And a whole lot of trash. Lady B is strong but I don’t know for how long.

This is where I need you all advice. I was told to involve the police as my ex is a cultist and smokes. This are things I don’t even know throughout the two years we dated. I don’t want anything to happen to my new girl. I really love her and it hurts me to see that a good girl is slipping from Me. Lady B is everything I want. My family approves of her. My mum who didn’t speak to me in couple of years reached out since I started dating Lady B. I have been so so happy anytime I think of her.


I will be in the comment section

Yoruba people in trying to describe grave danger would say. 'you are using the fang/teeth of a live cobra to scratch {soothen the discomfort in } your nose.

Both Lady A and Lady B, will cause you great harm.

I pray the Lord preserve your soul.

Basalt:
Goodmorning Ladies and Gentlemen.
I am Basalt by name and I came to Germany last year(2019) October for my MSc studies with a little amount of Money and a partially borrowed block account from my inlaw (his money and my money).
On arrival in Germany, I took only a few courses and got a job outside my city and also got a mini-job. I did all my monthly expenses from my Mini job and used my main job to completely pay back my debt within a few months of arrival.

Now, that's not the discussion at hand.
I need advice especially from people who have lived abroad or have many years of experience in life.
My visa still counts till 2022 and I can even extend it if I don't finish my studies by then.
According to German policy, once you graduate from the University, you will be given 18 months to get a professional job or return back to your country.
Returning back to Nigeria is totally out of my plan at least for now because I came from a very poor family without any job connection and I am really enjoying Europe.
I plan to buy land or start building a house (I saved millions of naira and will even save more as time goes) but my friend who is also a student here discouraged me against that saying that my root is not yet fixed abroad that I should wait and continue investing in myself and undergoing professional training until I get permanent residency before investing. That I should always keep saving because it is not certain that I will get a professional job after graduation since my course is not in Information Technology which is currently booming in Germany. That even if I don't get a job, I can use the money to migrate to Canada or any other country of my choice.
He asked What if you invest the money now and don't get a job after graduation, what will you do after the 18 months of post graduation visa since you don't have any backup from home who will help you out financially.

What do you guys think. I need opinions

Your friend gave you the best advice, i will add that you should not wait for the 18 months post education visa before you start looking for other options. Start your Canadian PR Now and every other one. A plus for you if you are not married.

Nanaborga:
Real recognize real

I love them both , no homo . I wish I could still get a career in boxing but my pot belle and my age is making me reconsider that decision. Well I wish AJ more success

Why not, you can do a comeback like Mike Tyson. Heheheheheh. Just insure your teeth before you do so.. Lol