inforesource:


Do you think I just woke up, took my system and start typing? Or you think it was very sweet for me to type it? When this thought went through my mind and I began to list names of great people who left their footprints in the sand of time, then it occurs to me what really matters in life. This thought has remove some sleeps from my eyes and repositioned my perspective about what really matters. That is what it is. Not being sentimental on serious issues of life.

It's good you have woken up... That does not still remove the fact that as it stands today, you don't have any legacy or innovation or invention attached to your name.. This should tell you that it's not easy as said...

It takes extreme dedication, intelligence and hardwork to improve humanity in a way that you put your name in the history of mankind...

For now, child birth, family and properties are what many Africans are remembered for...

You that is advising men about leaving legacy, what legacy, invention or innovation do you have to your name?

Talk is cheap

Is this car still available?

what was Africa way dressing before we were westernised??

then being naked was normal and people's mind weren't twisted, over time things have changed and we see clothiness as a way of life and show of decency...


to survive and be sane, you have to get used to the new norm mentally. we aren't going back to the time ladies will dress to fully cover themselves.

You are kind of self centered, Your brother is also under alot of pressure. He has a wife and 3 kids to take care of, he has you and himself. So life is not in any way easy for him. The earlier you get yourself fixed, the better for everybody.

You have to understand this, no matter how much he earns, he is trying. We all handle pressure differently, maybe this is his own way of expressing himself. You will understand better when you have your own family. Appreciate all he his doing because normally you are not suppose to be his responsibility.


On your own part, you have to get tough, life is not easy, be willing to take and bear shits on your path to break through. Nobody owes you anything, be grateful if you see anyone that accommodates you.

My days in the university wasn't too different. It was difficult. Paying fees, buying textbooks, feeding and handouts wasn't easy.

Three things helped me out.
1. Good friends
2. Menial jobs. My holidays are for works.
3. Live within my means.

Well, those days are long gone. Sometimes when i tell people the kind of jobs i did to stay in school, they don't believe because of the present day Glory.

One way to help ease your pain is NEVER to compare yourself with your mates. Your concern should be your future and getting out of this current predicament.

I appreciate the fact that you have a conscience not to do evil. Keep the hope alive and this pain will definitely be a testimony someday.

Wish you all the best. Pray always. God is still your surest plug.

I know you are joking with the N95k price non-negotiable.

Phone wey no suppose pass N2,500

bunch of cowards who only flex muscles with unarmed civilians but hide at the site of boko harams.

shame

why not ask the person in the picture??.??.

it's a very painful thing to experience my sister. Apart from it being painful, it's also very embarrassing and disgraceful.

It is an addiction problem and if there is no quick reversal, it will get worse. You should approach it medically, he needs to see a psychologist to help him break the addiction, he is not too different from someone who is addicted to drugs.

You can also backed it up with prayer too. Personally you also need to watch your health so doesn't drive you to depression, when you get depressed, that can things worse for him too

Uyi168:
Just got back from church after a very long while..
Over 50 songs were sang and I didn't even know any of them..

Can't believe I've been so left behind..

This quote is familiar. Uyi Joe

SLAP44:
Why can't they also March against herdsmen killings?

Do you know how many marched different people have marched against herdsmen including Nigerians in diaspora and international bodies?

come to think of it, is there anything holding you from marching against killer herdsmen or probably be an advocate against killer herdsmen?

talk is cheap, antagonising is free on social media

This man has a serious mental problem. If someone gift you a car or a modern house, you will reject it because you can afford to reciprocate the kind gesture?

Hisssss, in your mind you have done something noble and worthy of praise?

I pity your children.

mariahAngel:


But all these does not solve the food problem na...and man gats eat belleful

Read what the OP posted, the thread is not only for himself but for what men pass through in general. His own is just food wahala. Different married men have different problems

As a man, you must learn how to make yourself happy and live a joyful life. My wife's younger sister asked me this morning, she said it seems all the men that married her sisters, all of them have lost their fathers, i just smile and told her, it's not just your inlaw, i can count a handful of people around me who doesn't have fathers and hardly will you see people without mothers.

It's obvious life is not easy for men, the cost of living is getting high everyday and when you have to shoulder a whole lot of responsibilities couple with the insecurity in the country, you will see that there is so much for one man to handle. Lucky are those whose wife is hard working and willing to support, Lucky are those whose family is rich and everyday can fend for themselves if not, you will also have to add the load of extended family to the loads you carry. You see, most will always died early.

The most unlucky of them all is a man whose wife also nag ontop this plenty wahala you carry and doesn't give him peace. This set of men will even die earlier.

so i asked myself, for all the pain and struggle of men, how best can they enjoy themselves? If you choose to flex with women, you create more problems for yourself and scatter your family, if you choose beer and other drinks, you create health problems for yourself, these momentary enjoyment is like adding salt to injury.

Lucky is the man whose wife makes him happy and give peace, lucky is the man whose children grow up to be responsible and make him proud in life, for these are his only benefits in life. Because you will have peace and joy and live till old age.

since you are still young and probably not business oriented, doing regular business in Nigeria is not easy, you don't have security/assurance that the business won't fold up and the money wasted.

This is your father's money and he will be happy the money is well spent wherever he is.

i would suggest you buy a landed property with the money, look for a good estate within your state and buy a land. please be careful with community land, look for an estate. Preferably use the service of a recognised estate surveyor or Agent.

This way, the land will appreciate and your family will be happy. the land can also be used as collateral should any member of your family wants to do serious legit business.


And you can decide to sell the land later and make more profits from it and buy more lands.

Wish you and your family best of Luck

this is very irritating to read. Your wife didn't ruin you, your foolishness ruined you.

i don't know what to call you, whether a simp or maybe something worse. your wife will tell you *if you can't give her the latest things, another man will give her and she might not be able to resist* Haba, your village people swear for you.

Any man that goes beyond his means to please a woman at the detriment of his future is a fool and such relationship will not late because it involves two foolish people and will definitely end when one of them wise up.

Any woman that also ask a man for things she knows is beyond the financial capacity of her man is a fool also.

Most fathers do not allow their love to be felt by their children. Most fathers Labour so hard for the family but spend little time with them to make them understand his sacrifices. On the other hand, a mother spend almost all her time with the children, they see her suffering and pain, fathers sacrifices are mostly outside of the home and as such are not felt by the children.

Children especially male children come to value their dad after they too are married.

As a father, take time to explain things to your children, they will value and respect your sacrifices when they understand what you go through to keep the family

Ogonimilitant:

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”
Exodus 20, 4-6

Have you not read that God is good and in Him there is no darkness. There is no curse in God. If you are not a careful student of the Bible you will misunderstand God in the account of the old testament.

You will know the true personality of God in Christ only. If you want to know the true nature of God, go and read the account of Jesus and use it to interpret the nature of God in the old testament.

Lucario007:
Fantasy. None of this is relatable to the average Nigerian couple, much less the average African couple. Where if your wife argues with you, your solution is the back of your hand or her father's house.
Abegi, carry this romanticized western bullsh*t out of here.

Your view of marriage is still very awkward. I know you are not married yet but don't allow what you read here on nairaland makes you delusional. Alot of people enjoy their marriage, people only come to nairaland with problems not with sweet stories.

True words bro. Adding to what you have said. Lifestyle is another thing that hinders a man's progress. When a man finds himself in the midst of friends who club, drink and womanise spending all his earnings on flexing, his life will not make any progress.

Such a man can work for 20 years and won't have anything tangible to call his own. No property, no savings and no investment.

cococandy:


Rape and 419 are crimes. Having multiple sexual partners is not a crime (in a monogamous relationship it’s deception that the injured party is justified to address but is still not a crime). If it was a crime, many of you guys (maybe even you) would not be free humans. You are this bothered because it’s a woman.

Mr moralist, we don’t see you blowing this hot and philosophical about men who sleep around. If you were that concerned about morals, go to sexuality section and preach to your fellow men who brag about their sexual misconduct. I shudder to think of what would happen if women had a section dedicated to such open bragging about being sexual deviants. Many of you “moral” men and women who only speak when it’s a woman concerned would have gone mad by now.


smh. Comparing rape/racial injustices to what consenting adults choose to do with their own bodies? When are we ever going to stop having this inane conversation ?




Victim blame, rape apology all in one post.

Again we know you’re only concerned about morals here because it’s a woman who is involved.
If you really care about rape, you would educate yourself to understand that anyone can be raped. Tactlessly trying to make excuses for rape because you hate the idea of a sexual woman shows your true colors on the issue of rape.

You don’t care about rape. You care about controlling women. The oga in the LUTH vs police case is a mumu because he stood up for his 18yr old sale girl right?

The more you speak...

What is your point actually? Are you in anyway supporting immorality? Men that sleep around are fools, women that sleep are fools. This has nothing to do with gender. If i have a younger brother who has multiple girlfriends, without being told I know he has problems. He has problem with lust, he has problem with causing girls pains, he has problem with managing finances because he is going to spend recklessly, he has problem with being focus in what is important in life because he has plenty distractions, he lacks morals and he lacks discipline. As a concern brother I won't mind my business, I will talk and do my best for him to see his faults and probably amend his ways.

If I also have a sister who have decided to also make her life of no value and wants to be the rag for men to use either for fun or for monetary reason, i will also talk.

It's not a gender thing, this is not trying to control women, this is a fight for humanity. No sane girl or boy who is properly raise would want to be sleeping around.

You know in this life there are different kind of people. Those that are moralist that believe that having a sane society is a collective effort and those that are anti-moralist shouting "mind your business"

I once worked as a sales rep when I was 17 years, that's many years ago and I can still remember all the kind words and advice my boss gave me. I have people living with me, adults and i make it my duty to teach and encourage to do what is right.

First it's their personal life and I don't have the right to force them to do what I want them to do but it will be nice for anybody to have a good reason for their behaviour.

Back to the reason for this thread, the girl in question is Heading for destruction, just had an abortion and on the road for another one and we don't know how many she has had and somebody is saying the employer should mind his business? I can't believe what I'm reading here. If everybody mind their business we would have a dysfunctional society that you can't have peace and your children can't live in. If she gives birth and throw the baby away, all those shouting "mind your business" will be the first to come online to rebuke her actions without minding their business.


If someone is raped, why do people call for help even though it's just a crime against one person. Why don't you also tell people to mind their business since they are not the one raped? Or in case of domestic violence. Any crime against having a sane society is a crime that people should talk. If she is not properly guided, she might have children she can't take care and that's how we have touts and criminal everywhere.


If I'm the employer, I will sit her down and teach her everything I think she should know and pray for her to change. I will do all I can to help a dying soul. If her home fails her, the society should not also fail her. We all owe ourselves little favour.

I understand the pressure you feel bro. I was once in your position. Immediately you get married everybody starts looking at your wife's tummy and start asking if she is not pregnant yet. Over Sabi people. The more you allow them get to you, the more you have more pressure, the more pressure you have mentally and emotionally, the harder it is for your wife to get pregnant.

It's just six months except both parties are more than 30s, normally you are to keep trying until one year, it's after one year you can even begin to feel abit worried and seek medical approach on what could be the problem that's if there is a regular sex. There is no "I'm not in the mood this period" , just keep doing the work everyday, sometimes twice daily.

Bro, statistics have shown that about 50% of newly married couple get pregnant within the first six months of marriage. You are the man, try to communicate peacefully and calm your wife's mind. seeing her menses at the end of every month is psychological and emotionally depressing for her, she wants to get pregnant.

You guys are not alone, i know people who got pregnant 5 months into marriage 6 months, 4 years, 6 years, 1 year, 2 years even when nothing is wrong. so it differs for everybody.

Try to avoid fear and any source of fear especially the thinking that it's spiritual, this will further waste your positive energy and mount more pressure on you guys. Pressure affects your biological system and this reduces the chance of getting pregnant.

This time you need peace of mind, both of you need more love and romance, i will also advice you take some good supplement, what i took then was "well man and well woman fertility capsule" it's a very good supplement for newly married.

Also take time to pray together, God is the giver of children

Keep calm and enjoy the process. I wish you Goodluck.

This is really laughable. Maga doesn't want to have sense.

You enjoy her beauty but you don't value your sanity, your rest of mind and your hard earn money. Let you ask you sef, beauty and peace of mind which is more important to you?


From what you have narrated here, she is not a wife material and you don't see yourself marrying a beautiful person with zero attitude then while keep the relationship?

Why not forget about her and have your life back abi she jazz you?

Later you will come to nairaland to spill trash about marriage, telling people that marriage is not worth it whereas it's you who is worthy of marriage because you are not mature mentally, emotionally and psychologically for it. you see signs, red flags but stupidly choose to go ahead with the relationship.

Next time it's boys she will arrange to beat you up and collect money forcefully from you.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

You told you a man that is close to his mother doesn't make a good husband? Or don't you know most men treat their wives like they treat their mum?

There is a difference between a good man and a stupid one irrespective of how close they are to their mother. Some are never close to their mum and still treat their wives sooo badly. Others are close to their mum and their wives are lucky to have them.

Don't go about giving marriage advise you know nothing about. It's obvious you are not married yet.

It's actually more than this @op. Alot would have happened than stated. No man in his right senses will beat and chase the woman he spent time and money to marry all because she asked a vital question that will help build a healthy home.

It will be difficult to give good advise until you hear from both sides.

You try ���������

It start with a decision to leave poverty and the ability to work it out. It's a mixture of hard-work, determination to grow out of poverty and the finger of God.

I know my story will encourage somebody currently fighting poverty.

I was born into a family of 12 children, my dad married 2 wives and living life wasn't easy. After secondary school, there was no hope for university because the money wasn't available. But i told myself i will be the first University graduate (positive mindset) and i was the seventh child.

One week after secondary school i started working as a sales rep then i was barely 18 and i worked for 2 years to save money to take jamb and Utme (being focus and disciplined)

By 2007 i wrote jamb and utme, i passed the exams and was admitted to Uniben. That's where the major suffering started.

I did all kinds of jobs ( worked in an oil mill, did Mason jobs and menial jobs) to see myself through school (work to sustain your dream). No babe through University and no camera phone (be discipline and manage your resources)

Life begin to change after University, started NYSC and savings continues but as you will have it in most poor homes, my savings went to sponsoring my younger ones ( raising other family members)

After NYSC i got my first job almost immediately through a friend i met when i was doing my sales rep job between 2005 -2007 (make good friends) and currently on my second job and i have been working for about 6 years now.


Testimonies:

Two of my younger ones are graduates and another one in his 500 level studying pharmacy

I have built my house, other landed properties about to start building a plaza, live well, happily married and have a good car and building my real estate brand.


If you want to leave poverty, it's a long work to freedom. For some they are lucky the work isn't too hard before help comes but you have to work hard and be very focus. I'm still fighting the fight but i can't be poor to zero because i have good investments on landed properties and God gat my back.

Mine is 2012, I stumbled on nairaland when I was searching the net for list of things I need to travel with to orientation camp

baralatie:

where did you get the impression that he wanted to marry the girl

Where they I say he was going to marry her?

Does his write up sounds like he wants to chop and run?

Does anyone ever get drained from a relationship they don't value?

Why waste money and time to build relationship with a girl you want to dump and at the same time conplains about her attitudes?

Who introduces a girl he wants to dump to his family members and ask her to deliver cake on his behalf?

Who takes a girl he wants to dump to a friend's mother's burial?