₦airaland Forum

@Op, if u really want 2 know, my stand on this is that a man should support his wife & vice versal. Its only a wicked man that wil turn his wife to slave, real men help their wives in anyway they can, but 4 u 2 sit me down & share domestic chores wit me 50\50 b'cos u r contributing in finance, i dnt understand. If i m married 2 u, we r one not 2 anymore, ur money is mine & mine is urs, i knw how much my wife earns & how she spents it, she gives accts & i also give accts, d money is ours.

the reasons why women are not being valued these days is b'cos the so called guys never met u as a virgin, i remembered my teenage, i so much craved for life out of sex, my gf then was d one demanding 4 it & since i cndt do it, she left. I was 24yrs when i did & if there is any regret i ve now, it is b'cos i cdnt hold on till marriage. If u ladies can zip up, men wil ve no choice than 2 look 4 ashewo. Having sex wit a man u r nt married too is like throwing ur worth & values into d gutter.

jidegirl12: Bjcole..... baba mi .... Happy new year sir , how is family doing ?

Gud jare jide, & happy new year too. Dnt mind d Op, she just like some kind argumentative & feminist posts 4 no reasons, if she wants 2 marry, she shd go & marry & practise 80\20 or whatever. I m an advocate of a working wife & u support ur husband wit ur salary. Marriage is oneness, & all d resources belong 2 d family, & d husband & wife decide how 2 spend it, wit d man having d final say.

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So why do you think it is wrong for a woman to do bread winning with her husband? And why do you think the husband should not help with housework? Who wrote down these 'clearly defined roles' that you insist married couples should stick to?

Madam i m nt going 2 clarify anything 2 u, this topic has been discussed & addressed, if u want more information u can go dig old posts, i dnt knw what u want 2 gain in all these ur feminist post.

All these feminist, there is no how u paint or twist it, d fact will always come out. This is africa & Nigeria in particular, there is nothing like 50/50 marriage, & there is nothing like equality in marriage, d role of a man & woman is clearly defined, so when husband & wife fits this role, then u ve a perfect marriage. All of u praying for a dummie husband, u shall be granted in this yr 2013. 50/50 My foot, rubbish, no wonder d courts are littered with divorce files.

d baby is not yours obviously & ur issue is so complicated, if u dnt want d marriage again, u ve to divorce properly & u let all family members know all that had transipired. For d baby, its really a tough one b'cos of d love u ve 4 him, just continue to take care of him but definetely d mum will come back 4 him someday & u ve no claim on him, accept the reality bros. Its just painful, some ladies dnt realise d harm in what they do.

@ sisi_kill, i m sure u wished this is happening in Africa & not ur sane world(America & d rests). What i think abt this is, whatever that is done to protect a girl virginity is d best thing that can happen to d girl. Most of young girls behave so foolishly that they give their virginity to some unworthy & underserving guys.A teenage girl shd be protected & prevented from sexuality, & if d vows will do, all well & gud. Virginity is d sweetest gift a woman can give 2 her husband.

Living permanently with a relative may not be the best of idea but some parents dont ve enough time for their kids @ all, its work work work, whereas the kids will even turnout better living with an aunty. @Op, ur friend knows the situation better, even though a 6yrs old is so young to live wit relatives but 4 her 2 ve made up her mind, i guess she knws what she is doing. 4 me, whenever i m not there, my wife is there 2 take care f my kids, so i dnt ve any reason 2 give them out.

ileobatojo: Please sir, can you stop messing with my entertainment? I'm here to watch an implosion and you're trying to spoil my fun. Please stop it. Thank you.

u like trouble, wahala woman & i know u dnt mean it, u just wanted to raise her anyhow, pls abeg she does not ve ur strenght @ all, leave ma pal alone.

jidegirl12: Always stalking me! Abi dem swear for una?

my dear, i dont think u need to get hurt by anyone here, u know u onced cautioned me here b4 & i saw reasons wit u. My being on Nl i am happy b'cos i stil ve pal like u dat makes me happy when i come around. Do u know someone called pase in ontario? I told my wife about u & she is fascinated, i wish i can introduce her 2 u, so u can teach her more things as a senior aunty.

jidegirl12: Lol oga Bjcole I dey o! Christmas was fun too..... been on and off , even though I'm off work I'm still on call ....

what bout you and family? Hope your Xmas was fun too..... Best things await all of us that believe in HIM in 2013 IJN. Amen

Don't worry jollif rice dey anytime as long as I have madam's permission

It was fun 4 me too, we had some nice time, 4 d jollof rice, i guess she wil give u d permission. regards 2 bros.

for us guys, its almost not detable, but for ladies sometimes they give a second chance. To look @ it logically, when u r in a relationship that is serious, @ least d lady know what its @ stake for her, when u r in a kind of courtship, then for me its not acceptable, but when u r in an open relationship, anythings goes, there are men that married prostitutes, be serious with a woman & she is serious wit u, thats what i think.

@ madam jide, how are you doing? it is like you ve been away for sometime now, season greetings to you & ur entire family. keep ma jollof abeg

I stil think some men are partly responsible for their wife cheating, i remember d early part of marriage, i was always clubbing & not given my wife any intention, even sex wit her was like once in 3wks, i was just catching my fun outside, i felt since there was money 4 her 2 spend & kid 2 take care off, whatelse & most of my guys dat we move together were just like me. I just thank God that it wasnt too long i realised myself so if in the midst of these my wife strayed away, dont i ve some blame?

@ op, tell that your friend to go & look 4 work to do, real work, if he is thinking about how to make cash & do bigger things in life, his mind wont be on who is dishing what. What is my business with who my wife allows into kitchen, once she is ok with it, dats her business.

and in as much as one is responsible for his\her actions, some men ve driven their wives into such acts due to neglects. U women are so emotional & if u dnt get it from home, u can be tempted to look 4 it outside. I ran into a lady recently, d hubby is being living in SA 4 some yrs now, when we became friends, i cud feel dat d lady was really missing something, but 4 me i no want such, so i had 2 relax our closeness. Why wil a man leave his wife here & be leaving in london, body na firewood.

I should be blamed for my patner cheating, na wa o, no be she carry her legs go there, anyway to look at it properly, for a man, whether u give am regularly well o, or u fine well, men go still cheat, sex for a man is like to piss, that is why men can sleep wit maids, harlots etc. For women, u guys attach emotions to it, u just dont cheat 4 no reasons, except some chronis ones.A friend says that if his wife cheats, he will go after d man b'cos he believes u can always sweep a woman off her feet

@Op,best advices u can applied ve been given to u,we men change due to circumstances, Peterwins really hit d nail on d head, pls read all his advices again, it cud be his finances, or anything, just pay more attention, there nothing u give 2 ur marriage that is too much. Sacrifice or endure 4 ur marriage, if my wife does nt want me on Nl or Fb, i will gladly get off it, abi, or which is better my spouse or social media? i stopped chatting & cut off some pals on Fb b'cos my wife complained abt it.

u guys arguing about Igbo man marrying a baby momma or divorcee. Average igbo man will not, that is d reason, most igbo girls will do anything possible to prevent pregnancy or having a child outside wedlock. I dnt knw of igbos outside nigeria b'cos its a different over there, marry on monday & divorce on friday & they ve sold that to us, in d name of civilisation. I will always respect a culture dat discourage divorce b'cos so many divorced their spouse 4 selfish reason, all in d name f happiness

@ OP, u can abuse or say whatever pleases u, its ur business not mine. I dont knw or see where i abused or cursed u in my post, anyway i dont expect u 2 behave better than ur understandin, ur age says it all. 4rm ur story, u divorced a marriage of just 2yrs old wit a baby & few months after, u r already rolling around guys\suitors, they flock around u like u said b'cos u r d latest MBGN & now u ve hooked one, 2 get married soon abi & all thse seem so well 2 u. Like i said, dat boy deserves more.

@ There are more to this than u r telling us here, u got married 2yrs ago, divorced after 1yr with a baby & then u r about 2 marry again in just about a yr u left ur Ex .why r u skipping traditional wedding? i thought being divorced is a glorified thing like u & ur poster's friends make us 2 believe. Madam, my only advice 4 u is to change, whatever pursue u from d first marriage can still pursue u from this one too. As for d boy, he deserves d best, he did nt force u bring him 2 d world,

I dnt know if there can be any sweet seperation between husband & wife. @ Op, u know ur ex better than anybody here & is there anything like him wanting 2 ve those kids at all cost? so if u r nt draging that, then why r u afraid? if u ve anything like, sort it out legaly, so that he wont do anything u r insinuating. 4 his family, they r nt happy with u, i guess they wish they never knew u. So pls, it can be demoralising when u dnt ur wife anymore & ur kids not around u for xmas.

We r heard some much complains here, some women cant control themselves, some men dont ve morals, sleep wit anything in skirt be it goat or mammal. These is so much rampant in our society, church, school, government, workplace, everywhere, someone even said as far as Naija women r concern, trust only urself, so what is d solution? we r so much in d worship of God, i dnt know if there is any nation that worship God more than us or we r just bunch of hypocrites, lets not pretend, this is real, why?

I know a woman dat d husband didnt allow 2 do more than NCE, d woman said her husband was tired of coming 2 beg lecturers or giving money 2 sort them, so they can leave his wife alone. D woman also said most of her friends were sleeping wit these lecturers. I knw a lecturer then once he wants u, u cant escape it whether married or not, else u carry d course. Someone said if God does nt destroy dis world, he wud ve 2 apologize 2 sodom & gomorah. This blood of Jesus let it not just finish one day.

jidegirl12: Jesus mother of GOD!! Are you guys for real or just joking ...... wedding rings off! Married women dey go camp too?!! Ah ahh ahh !! I see why cooger wan collapse at the uncle in a hotel room thread!
So sad!

https://emoticons4u.com/sad/1431.gif

Madam, i guess u r beginin 2 see why som of us react on some thread d way we do. Wit what i ve seen, if i dnt trust any married woman again, i m justified but d few gud ones r d reasons i still do. God help us

@Tunji, i just didnt want someone talkin me into such nonsense & some of them r addictive church goer. I trust myself but i dnt allow that 2 make feel i cud be so close 2 any married woman & nothin happens, i dont even entertain emotional discussion or flirting jokes wit any of them, i had B4 wit one or two & i saw what it was offering, i had 2 bark down. I dnt get too close 2 my pal's wives more than my pals themselves, I just dnt like 2 hear dis it was devil thing.

greatgod2012: Yes, Rudysmith is right, no smoke without fire, if d married women dont concur (agree) to their demand, d men will have no choice than to stick to d single ladies, so i still maintain that d two parties involved do not have:
1 Fear of God
2 Moral standard
3 Respect for humanity, especially their spouses.

yeah correct & d church is nt helping matters, There r MOGs wanting 2 take on other people's wives, I think there shd be when 2 draw d line as a man.

4 d discussion 2 be balanced, we can discuss both sides, i know d woman carries more blames when this happen, I said in a thread dat i ve seen too many married women rubbish b'cos in my office wit over 5000 staff, most of d ladies were getting juicy positions b'cos of sex wit d bosses, even d married one. Go to d oil coys & see what is happening, its so pathetic.Why r we men doing & undoing ourselves? these things go in circles. Is sex food? cant d brain of a man works when its sex or what?

@mactunji, some camps are properly regulated, i know of d North anyway and some single ladies complete d whole Nysc without having sex, though i know dis Nysc & intimacy thing is just something else, but 4 me i stil dnt d rationale behind sleeping with a married woman when u know she is married. I knw a guy dating a lady that d hubby is in SA & i had 2 cut our friendship b'cos of that.

@jidegirl, i guess u r correct, i will have 2 modify that, though i stil wonder why it seems common among my fellow yoruba folk ( discussion 4 another day) @ rudysmith, i m more concerned about d men, not d ladies, dis is another man's wife 4 God sake @ Cogar i dnt knw if we can talk abt Nysc here, but it is still d same issue, dis woman is married, why wil d fellow corper guy stil want 2 do it. Some Married & old men do this too, why?

I m askin this b'cos, most of my time in Phc with the pals i had then, D issue of married ladies was just a taboo, when we talk about it, it was like, why would i, with all these pretty girls around,that was just the notion then,but since i ve been in Lagos, few of d pals i ve now seem to be involve wit married ladies, i ve 2 start distancing myself 2 them b'cos its just absurd 2 me. So is it that there r no enough singles around? or is just something some guys cant do without? or what?

kilimanjaro: @all,
Thanks for the inputs. The point is - the husband is comfortable, he never depends on his wife, this man has built his own house and has two cars.
Why then would she lie?

There are good ladies & bad ones, if she is a good one, then she is planing for some independence based on what she is facing wit d husband, so i think d husband shd still check himself. D husband shd know better