₦airaland Forum

Ujujoan:
So you are suggesting his mother is jealous of him    

Yes. Only a parent who does not wish her son/daughter well, will get in the way of his/her happiness. Any loving mom would support her child's choice of ANY mate. Her role is to be supportive and to gain a daughter, not LOSE a son.

She is not only jealous, but purely EVIL.

Y'all are all God-Fearing zis-n-zat and still do not have the simplest, faith-based courage to solve the least challanging problems. Any African woman who had a miserable/failed marriage, will always be jealous of any man/woman who aspires to find peace and happiness in life. Especially, if it involves HER own children.

Too bad you do not have what it takes to be a reeeeeaaaal man.
Live your life and let misery keep itself company.

Goodluck!

Deleted Entry. Wrong thread.
OP and thread flushed down the 'pit latrine'.

He says he can't do without it, and you still feel the need to solicit for advice on his behalf?
Like he did not meet his wife while cheating?

He is not a real African man for sure. We don't need advice for what is truly our birth right.(as kpe jumping from poohsie to poohsie) He should move in with one of the other babes jor.
Just to give the aggrieved wifey some time to be crying to her "Chi".

The wife, knowing our Naija sistaz will take him back. Leave them alone jare.

I can just imagine her crying and biting her fingers in her sleep, like one of those local women out there:

Chai!!! Chukwudi!. . .Chukwudi!. . .Chukwudi!
E we phockwam up? Why? Why? Why?
Chai!

Of course, ALL men are bound to cheat. Why do women fail to understand this? 
T*t* nor be gold I beg, no mata how you wash am!

By loving his mother and all his sisters first!

There we go again.
Me sef taya for these American women sha.
Are their own men so baaaaad that they have to date 'foreigners'?
I would do no such thing.
They dun even know 'ow' to phock too good.
So, what exactly is the attraction?

An Igbo one for that matter?
Poor taste!

I pray for both of us everyday, I want to be with this man and its killing me just to be away from him right now but I feel that this time apart will be better for us. Nairaland what should I do?

See as woman go take her own hand cuss herself and her unborn children?

Wharra pre-occupation at ONLY 22 years old.
Fasting and praying to be with one 'lowlife' of a dude on the cyber airways.
Efen if na h-in[b] h[/b]-invent "FaceBook"? E come become one ye-ye, 'Okoro' wan(not even an Yoruba wan, wey sabi book like Becomrichn? witi fine-fine map! ) way nor get work and dey sleep for jail as 'naturalized citizen'?

Tenk God for old age.

[quote author=Jam_Rock88 link=topic=617084.msg7848280#msg7848280 date=1299286284]Yes I am Jamaican, lol. Thank you for the advice ladies![/quote]Sorry, you are not a Jamaican. You were born and raised in the US.
Jamaicans are not this 'slow'. You parents are Jamaicans not you.
Unless the world is coming to an end. . .I have never met a 're-tarded' Jamaican. Even the ones born and bred in the UK.

^^^
Besides the old and new testaments, any "Wikileaks" in there?
Or with all the 5000 revised versions from  Genesis to Revelations, has it revealed that Julian Assange is the only, TRUE son of God?
Pray tell.

Mehn!
This is sooooooo like reading the Bible.
Honestly. . . 

Life can't be this boring.

Amen, people please read & get it into your system!

Sure. Very original.
Lemme try and see if this new trick is gonna work for me.

^^^

Sorry, "we" are not that 'Hot'.

How can fools teach wisdom?
If you have to come to Nairaland to be 'wiser'. . .
Then 'Eko' don 'Baje' finish o!
You nor get mama and papa for 'ouse?

So, what has she been doing prior to discovering NL?
VAGINATING?

She said she understands her guy d more and she catches the cheap pranks guys play,

Poor thang.
She must not be a Nigerian woman.
She would soon learn to play her own 'expensive' pranks.
Mu he he he he he

How do you feel when you find yourself in this position?

The only permanent solution for moi ws gerrrin' the heck out of Nigeria FIRST!
The Nigerian environment breeds helpless individuals who cannot think about how to succeed by sheer hardwork.

So, since living in a foreign country and making use of the great opportunities around me, I have never found myself in this position. So, I will cross that bridge when I get there. There is always a way out. Not a concern right now because I ALWAYS had a greaaaat family support system and  extra-curricula 'extras'. We are training our children to know the other "uncles and aunties"  they are not related to as 'spare tires' too in .case they need help in the future. My parents did the same. Many extra auties and uncles to go to. . . that I am not related to. I think they are called '"surrogates". Sometimes, your best support systems are from those you are not related to. Make real friends not 'FaceBook' or cyber ones.
Build you a healthy support system from your childhood. . .avoid making useless, new friends that would only serve to distract you.

What do you think should/would solve the problem

Having some other "loving" significant others that you can rely on in the future and vice versa for emotional support only.
Surround yourself with ONLY people that matter.

What lessons did u learnt from that experience (If it had happened to you or Have found yourself in such situation)?

Avoid being financially or emotionally dependent on ANYONE!!!
Getting out of debt and staying out of debt. Learning to save and invest my money wisely, so I never have to depend on non-family members.

What did you do or happened to get you out of the situation?

By:
Recognizing that no condition is permanent always.
Learning to 'plan' ahead.
Pampering myself always. Remaining mentally and physically sound.
Being emotionally and financially independent at all times. 
Taking my life seriously. . .with hard work and staying focused at all times.
Praying that I never lose my mind or become 'bed-ridden' to be a liability to others.

I do my best and my God has always done the rest. Amen.

God Bless America, My Home Sweet Home.

Did the woman complain?
So, which one is my own business?

Please, Nigeria gets what it deserves.
PDP, OBJ, GEJ and all.
God bless ma American passport.
If I ever lose it, I am heading to Libya by the grace of MY GOD!!!

Just waiting for ALL loved ones to quench when their time comes. so I can officially incinerate that ugly green passport of mine.

Who wants to live amongst "Victor Malus"?

Oh well.
Who are we to complain on the women's behalf?
If the women love to be treated like sardines, servesthem right.
They should liberate themselves.

The myth of the ‘marriage-go-round,’ says you can hop on and off marriages when you’re bored, discontented, stressed out, or get a better offer.

Really?
And 70% of educated black women are single, one in every 10 black men are in jail, 25% bisexuals and 30% homosexuals?
People have not recovered from the catastrophic after-shocks of one, then they think they can jump to the next one?

Easier said than done.
Who wants to leave one psycho to inherit the baggage of another?

Sorry o.
God has absolutely nothing to do with this. God was never married and Jesus his son was conceived 'immaculately'.
Go figure!

Tisha don't tish me nonsense!

Common sense rules.
The swamp is NEVER greener on the outside.
Ammo stay right here.

Absolutely.
But she is not that desperate.
Thank God!

Whaaaaat?

Wharris this 'Family Section' turning into?
There should be a mandatory law passed for psychogical tests carried out as a PREREQUISITE before ANY one gets married in this world from now on.

i have cheated on him. i felt so guilty and saddened that i told him. He cried, and cried, he never shouted or rained abuses on me, he didn't fight me or threaten to leave me, he simply cried. Strangely, the more he cried the more i felt better. its crazy but i began really excited

Just imagine the kon-kon-bi-ri-ty!
     

This must have been a 'battered' woman in her previous life I swear.

please what shd i do ?

Not even gonna touch this one.

Mtchewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Psycho!

^^^
"fstranger + almondjoy = Blazay"?

O di kwa risky!

"Aro" Chukwu di!

geoger:
You are right my husband is an Igbo man, he believe is good to beat a woman because that how his father treated his mother. I try to live but my mother keeps telling my to stay, to consider the kids.but i fear my life is in danger I will live. and start all over again atleast find a way to raise money and finish my education from where i stopped.

Your mother is right. This is a generational problem. . . You have to consider the kids. They are gonna repeat this whole mess just like you are doing.
Unless you want to be a 'single' parent. . . which will be very tough for you and your children if you are not financially bouyant, or you lack the necesssary family support to set him straight. Your own mother may have gone through the same to even suggest you stay for the 'kids'.

My sincerest apologies and sympathies.
You have made your bed by having children with this IGBO MONSTER OF A HUSBAND. . . LIKE MOST OF THEM ARE.
They have absolutely NO regard for women or children! A culture of violence is their only legacy to mankind. Twa!!!
I hope you do not end up dead someday.
As you found yourself inside that 'Biafra-War' marriage, you will have to find a way to make it work or gerrrout of it.
You are the only one who can do this.
I hope your sons and daughters are not abused too?
What a pity. This is a hopeless situation.

Is there anything that a woman will do that will make a man the beat her messily

Many reasons.

She looks/feels like a 'punching' bag.

She can't 'phock' or give a gooooooood 'head'. No woman who can do these 'properly' gets beat-up . . .amen? Ameeeeeeeeeeeen!!!

She is an 'irritant'. . .because the 'juju' she thought would last for ever has been overcome by another woman's 'juju'(poohsie)!

She has no brains to call the police on his arzzzz or hire some area boys from her family members including her father(if she ever had one), to give him a fantastic 'royal' treatment.

She is a stark illiterate with extremely low self-esteem. (Even my illiterate grand mother would have given my grand father with all the co-wives a a good beating behind closed doors 100 years ago. . . but not the desperate women of this day and age!)

She is a desperate 'old-cargo'. . . in a bondage do or die marriage.

She is culturally-dic.kmatized and only thinks in terms of a pe-nis as her life-long accomplishment. . .even where married to an illiterate, unemployed 'bush-monkey', from her village! That almighty 'Mrs. Shiate Sum'un" is almighty gold!!! ( TYPICAL OGBONI-OKIJA. . . IGBO/NGBATIC MENTALITY). The reason these men keep gerring away with these things. The women are to blame 100%!!!

Hello everyone I need your help on this question. Is there anything that a woman will do that will make a man the beat her messily . ( giving her black eyes) . My husband beats me so much that I can’t take it anymore.  He beat me when am pregnant, one month after give birth to our child. Because I ask him questions. He is doing thing I don’t understand , like make late calls to whom I don’t know. Keeping secrets for me. He beat me again because I told him I don’t like the way he and his boy friend use to behave.

Are you Mamasayma[b]maKossa[/b]?

You must be an Igbo woman or a Yoruba woman(A-BOLANLE. . .ONE OF DEJI OF AKURE'S WIFE  ). . . because "bini" and "warri" women beat their men.
Don't you know the way to a police station if you live abroad? Even if you live in the bushest part of Nigeria, don't you have relatives?  Where is YOUR father or your brothers or cousins? Did you fall from an 'apple tree'.

The most important reason?

[size=20pt]HE MUST BE AN IGBO MAN!!! OR A YORUBA MAN!!!![/size]

Don't marry from these 2 tribes. They will kill you. Others might rough you up a lirrrle and you will have a fighting chance and scape alive. But not these 2 ethnic groups. At your own risk I say.

Yup! Delta Igbo ok. . . NOT across the [b]Nigger[/b]ing Niger Ooooooooooooooh!!! At your own risk I say even when you are in bed with 'those' Igbotic ones. . . your whole body will feel and look like you survived the Biafra war. . . and still hurting!!! Avoid them!!! Very ROUGH!

Don't deal with ethnic 'Ruffians' or 'Rascals"!!!! They beat/KILL women/children!!! Even with the little ' napoleon men' between their legs.

1. Never TRUST your spouse, especially a CHRISTIAN ONE.   Let everyday come with a 'pleasant' surprise.

2. Stay employed at all times.

3. Keep no secrets. . . if you wanno do 'extra-curricularly'. . .Doooooooooooo AM/DEM Wellllu Wellllu!!!!!! He or she has a choice to leave or stay. Never be a hypocrite.

4. Keep extended family members OUT of your house and business!!!

5. Report any domestic violence incident to the cops THE FIRST TIME IT OCCURS. . . So that abusive spouse can have A RECORD. . . just for THE RECORDS. God help those who are in Nigeria or other countries without a working 'racist' police force for protection.

6. Never be afraid of a divorcee. Be prepared ALWAYS!!! If you start developing high blood pressure, it is time to ditch that spouse of yours. . . weda he/she caused it or not.

7. Do not have 'common' friends with your spouse. Too much distracting gossips to irritate ya.

8. Born again Christians have the HIGHEST rates of divorce amongst all other Christian groups. Don't become one.

9. Never hoard your kids from your spouse. Chain them to his or her ankles and share equal responsibility for them so the get to KNOW you both EQUALLY. Less chances of divorce for ya IF YOU WANT YOUR MARRIAGE TO SUCCEED. Too bad you decided to procreate with a pedo-phile, ashewo, con-artist, cultist, rap.ist, gbobo ero. . .gbo gbo ero.
Papa na papa, mama na mama. . . you can never be replaced!

10. Spend some time together away from the house. . . meet in hotel rooms(your matrimonial bed becomes very unromantic after 2 years of marriage trust me, especially if you do not drink or smoke 'IGBO'!!! ). . .and act like each other's 'WHORES'. . . .Romantic. Mwaaaaah!!!

Oh, btw. . . .keep a few exes handy for 'relief-pitchin' duties. . . when the bloody dee.k or poohsie goes reeeeeeeal stale on ya. You only saving grace too.

LEAVE GOD OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS TOO. . . .!!! LET HIM DO HIS OWN JOB, WHILE YOU CONCENTRATE ON YOURS!!!

Oh yes!
Only for secondary schooling. NOT for graduate or post-graduate studies! Oh No!!!!
Let mosquitos bite them small, like they did me.
It is also important you expose them to the way the most, ultimately 'corrupt' mind works. 419, Nigerian, Christians to be exact!!!
That way. . . the can NEVER be mugus. . . .
If they go back to Nigeria ever. . . they would know how to sleep around/hustle for 'contracts' too to keep alive. . . or join cults kpa kpa without being killed themselves.!
Anything it takes to survive in that 'jungle hole' called Nigeria.
Not for academic merit(absolutely none). . . but for the most effective 'global' socialization skills.
No child sent to a Nigerian boarding school(well supervised of course) becomes easily manipulated by any around him or her.
They wise up fast too and become super independent adults.

No education is wasted. Amen.

Yup. . . my grandma raised me when my dad had to go abroad for a while. I learned a lot from her.
Grand parents are great sources of discipline and wisdom.
Loved/appreciated my parents even more.
Thank God for grand parents. We are blessed to have them.

Hopefully, they will not turn out to be the likes of "Tobechi" the Abia state 419 king pin wanted all over the world. Amen.

Sorry. We are Africans.
With white peeps ok. Even then. . . wahala still dey o!


The stay-at-home mom gets cheated,  . . .THEY AGE faster and eat themselves to FATNESS/UNATTRACTIVENESS. . . with all that 'home schooling' with cookie jars and cotton candy canes all over the house. She is eating 24/7 to keep the children happy/quiet. Ever so frustrated without help from the men. Even with all the money, if at all there is money involved.

A grave risk too, taken by the stay-at-home-moms OR DADS!!!! if anything happens to that man/woman of hers/his.
She/he can only re-learn her/his skills of survival in another man's/woman's bed, especially if the woman/man does not leave a 'fortune left behind if she/he ever loses her/his income/or dies unfortunately for the family. Poor children.

It takes 2 to give a family the best for MOST in this modern day/age. No matter how wealthy the man is.
Chances are that MOST men are polygamists. . .with other women and children in their lives. . . I pity any woman/man who chooses to be a stay-at-home woman/mom.

Choices are respected of course.

Not my portion in the name of MY GOD!!! Amen.
My brain will just 'quench' packing poo and wiping snort all day/night.
That would irritate me tremendously.

I don't advocate moms being single parents for the most parts, where dads are sole bread winners of a home.
The lives of BOTH parents should be felt in childrens' lives. Both should play equal parts in relieving each other from the home as a TEAM.
It helps the children bond equally with BOTH parents. Less chances of divorces that way.

A man that is not used to spending time at home can NEVER bond with his children. NEVER. This makes him a whole lot more prone to living an emotionally unstable and nomadic lifestyle. . . and the women ever so willing to be 'single' parents by not trusting the men with THEIR own children upon seperation or divorce. All they would want at that point is that almighty child support payment. . .and would do everything to be full custodians of the unfortunate children.

Stay-at-home parenting forsters a domestic cycle of detachment/dependency, . .AND ABUSE!!! The children are the main losers since they NEVER grow up to be 'stable', independent adults.

There is no one size fits all for parenting

True. But the best possible parenting pattern is one with BOTH parents present and pro-active in the lives of their children. A team work. . .where all work to keep the family safe, loving and whole.