DOWN2HeartLoved:
I usually come to nairaland to get advice on business or any other related stuffs am affected with

Currently am in a tight spot, have been dating a lady I met during a trip, after a month, we started chatting and I went to visit her, things were smooth until we have a child, now she's different

The thing am surprised about her is I don't know her family background, only believed what she told me, she's from Auchi and Orogun and the mother lives in Ondo, we have issues I had to move out of my own house for her, the problem is I'm thinking she has children outside, she's always 28 every year, am thinking she's close to 40, why lie about age and many more.

Reasons am baffled, her mother isn't showing any concern.

She has lots of brothers

She always calls me a small boy

She doesn't even care now, even if I die

Problems:- I have invested on this relationship emotionally, physically and even more,

Is she from Benin? She lied too, she has turned my people against me, right now no one reason me seriously again, because everyone is telling me she's a club girl and I need to leave her, she just laughs and blocks anytime I called her, people are telling me she might have built a house with my money elsewhere.

Am shocked this is happening to me.

leave now is early and open a special account for your kids and tell bank how much she will be able to withdrew for your child upkeep, walk away and rebuild it never to late to start a fresh as a man. Be careful who you court with, always ask questions and make sure you do a background check. Peace.

Hamachi:
A job on the island 150k or a job on the mainland 120k

You reside in Ketu

What do you need pension for when you create your own pension scheme be a part of pension company and secure your funds.

Jack500:
It is only a useless politician that can say that, this guy is useless even in PDP.

Meanwhile, obi Pandora will be president of Biafra in 2023.

But in Nigeria, no way!

Chai I can see your pain you well but take heart cuz Nigerian will decide got themselves come 2023.

Sijo01:
What we read on nairaland.

So your jobless girlfriend you're sponsoring in school is asking you to quite your job so you can spend time with her? And you're even considering it. Wonder shall never end.

Your mom is threatening to kill herself if you don't quite your job. This is one of the 7wonders of the world.


How about you take your annual leave, tell them you've quited just as they demanded. Stay with them at home throughout the duration of the leave. Don't spend a penny, ask them for money even when you don't need it. Make them to understand you have no savings...... Let them carry the financial burden and see how it turns out.

Imagine the audacity of there selfishness
Quit your job and come stay with them the will resent him eventually if he ever tries it

elimsun:
Good day great people of nairaland. I'll make this as short as possible and forgive my typo errors.
I've been working in this construction firm for the past five years together with taking care of my family and my girlfriend who has been in school but due to ASUU strike, now at home.
I'm usually busy and spend less time at home except on weekends - Sundays.
Recently, my girlfriend has been talking me into changing the nature of my work to another job that will afford me the opportunity to give more time to my family and her. I insisted that I'll need more time to be able to find another job but she will not have it that way.
Seems to spoke to my mother about it and it's now hell in the home with my mother threatening she will kill herself if I don't quit the job. This job is something I have used in completing my house and paying the fees of my girlfriend.
Lest I forget, I got the hint that my manager is considering me for a promotion and my quitting the job might just spell doom on me!

I'll appreciate all your suggestions, advice and criticism. I'm really in a fix!

No matter what bro don't do it at least not when you don't have alternative source of income Don't please anyone for the sake of spending time with them. Your goals and
purpose is bigeer then any one except God so Focus on it with no regrets or what's so ever reason it may be.

Here is a leak message from one of the American citizens caught fighting along side with Ukraine.
The media will tell you Russia is loosing the war, America sending billions of dollars not accounted for and zelesnky using his citizens as pawn due to the fact he is a purpet to the Europeans union.

SARSCoV2:
Learning from other countries who have broken similar challenges being presently faced by Nigeria.

What does Nigeria have to learn from Egypt that is far ahead of us in all ramifications. We do not share similar ideology, culture and system of government.

We could as well learn from America, Germany or the United kingdom if we desperate to start from the top, which will still be of no use.

Rwanda and Ghana are fastest growing economies who happen to just be coming out of the shackles and challenges being presently faced by Nigeria, and such destination would have been worthwhile as their are still evident developmental tracts which are visible and presently working for them.


If you must import ideas, you have to import from where best fits your scenario. Not importing ideas from Alaska to West Africa.

Egypt economy is bigger than the two combine, going to Egypt doesn't have anything to do with culture or beliefs but rather electricity hope you get that brovee

Big boys don't cry when provoked only the small boys

jmoore:
Stop putting Nnamdi Kanu and Sunday Igboho in same group.

Nnamdi Kanu is a leader of a terrorist group. Nnamdi Kanu ordered attacks on deeper life churches in southeast states.

IPOB terrorists and Fulani Islamic terrorists are attacking the church.

IPOB terrorists have killed more Igbo people in southeast in the last 6 months than Fulani terrorists in same region.

shut your trash fool you are a monster and hypocrite.

The wealthy minority and politicians are using Nigeria life's to play football. Take it from me if this continues there will be no Nigeria in 5 years.

franchasofficia:
Why are most of you Yorubas hypocrites?


Check my comments on main moniker that got banned by a mod here, I have been saying it repeatedly that Yorubas of present day Nigeria are treading a dangerous path, leaving behind the good path their forefathers and fathers treaded which made Yorubas to always condemn injustice and remained fair and just towards others and this made Yoruba land to flourish and witness untold peace.



I warned modern day Yorubas that if they continue to support evil against Igbos and any other in the name of politics, that a time will come when nature on its own will bring same dangers and destructions Yorubas of today rejoice about when it happens to Igbos to Yoruba land. This is natural law not curse, and gradually its unfolding before our eyes.



Igbos have never hated Yorubas. Igbos have never rejoiced over Yoruba sorrows. Igbos have never joined forces with other tribes to fight or inflict pains on Yorubas yet Yorubas just hate Igbos for no justifiable reason and always rejoice when Igbo land or Igbos are burning, not knowing that there is a God that sees the heart of men and oversees the affairs of man.



Yorubas followed Northerners sheepishly to fight Igbos to force Igbos to join them back in their failed Nigeria. Why didn't Yorubas allow Igbos to go? Why didn't Awolowo advice Gowon to allow Igbos to go with their barren Southeast land? No they rather fought Igbos and forced Igbos to join back Nigeria.


In 1999, Igbos massively supported Obasanjo a Yoruba man to become President twice. After him, Igbos also supported Yaradua until he unfortunately died and Goodluck took over. The same Igbos supported Goodluck till the last minute and even won enemies from other Nigerians while trying to defend Goodluck.


Another Yoruba man became VP to Buhari going 8 years and now Yorubas are gathering again to become another President from the South after 8 years of Obasanjo a Yoruba man, and 8 years of Osinbajo as VP a Yoruba man, they just blank Igbos and don't even care or have any human feelings for Igbo people's marginalization and disastisfaction in Nigeria. And when Igbos speak against Yoruba producing next President after Buhari, Yorubas will term Igbo haters.


Please do you modern Yorubas have conscience at all?


Okay back to IPOB agitation. It is mostly Yorubas that always condemn and criticize Nnamdi Kanu and IPOB calling them IPIG, Ipork, this and that and Yorubas rejoiced and celebrated all over the media when Buhari sent soldiers to Southeast to go massacre unarmed IPOB protesters in the name of python dance, to them it was cool because Igbos are animals that deserve to be killed anytime.



But when Sunday Igboho started Yoruba nation agitation and dislodging of Fulani herdsmen from Yoruba forests, Igbos supported Igboho and his boys, even Nnamdi Kanu hailed Igboho but same Yorubas turned around to condemn Igbos and rather warned Igbos to stay away from supporting Igboho that they have nothing in common with Igbos, that Igbos should focus on their Biafra.



Igboho got arrested, Igbos condemned it and spoke against it. Nnamdi Kanu got arrested, Yorubas hailed Buhari and laughed Igbos and IPOB.


IPOB formed ESN to help dislodge Fulani herdsmen from Southeast forests, ESN were doing well, Yorubas kept condemning ESN calling them terrorists until useless Imo state Governor joined forces with Nigerian Army to send in both land and air force that started killing ESN members in the forests, even killed ESN leader, going house to house to massacre Igbo youths, even went to different higher institutions in Southeast to single out male students at night and killed them extrajudicially and dumped them at Owerri FMC which later pushed some of the dislodged ESN members into becoming hit and run gunmen targeting security personnel as retaliation for the extrajudicial killings of Igbo youths in SE which they tagged unknown gunmen. Instead of Yorubas to condemn the Nigerian army massacre of Igbos in SE, they rather mocked Igbos and called them terrorists like Boko Haram.



Gradually Nigerian army tried to replicate the UGM as a way of spoiling ESN goodwill and good name, thereby using their own created UGM to kill prominent Igbos and some unfortunate Igbos here and there in the same original UGM styled hit and run, Igbos kept telling the world that its not Igbos doing all those massacre in SE in the name of UGM, that its Fulani terrorists disguising as Igbos to paint ESN bad so IPOB and Igbos can disband ESN to enable Fulani herdsmen terrorists have a free entrance into SE to wipe out Igbos in SE but Yorubas will rather wave this aside and mock Igbos and call Igbos terrorists, cannibals killing their fellow Igbos even when Igbos keep screaming that its the handwork of Fulani herdsmen terrorists Yorubas refuse and mock Igbos.



Now the same thing just happened in Yoruba land and you hypocrites are already wailing and pointing your filthy hands at Igbos and calling Igbos Yoruba haters. Are you not one of those that always rejoice when Igbos are marginalized or killed or attacked?



Listen, nature is bigger than you and me and if you modern Yorubas refuse to change and embrace honesty, equity, fairness, the God of nature will give you guys back all the evil you wish and mock Igbos with.



You can bookmark this page.



Fulani herdsmen terrorists are the common enemy of us all but treachery, wickedness, selfishness, hatred for Igbos and your so called cunning politics you tag sophisticated politics will never allow you guys to work with Igbos for the common good and peace of all. Time till tell.

permission to copy

If this is true than we Africans are in deep shit of the blood sucking brutal racist NATO Mali doesn't want franch becuz the hypotrical franch has been using Mali resources in it franchise while enabling a thriving environment for terrorism only time will tell.

It's a perfect combo if only he will agree

Bleep Federal government, Bleep Buhari, Bleep nigge, Bleep every politician for making a misery out of Nigeria university.

Desperation is really a Bad disease

wandyvirus:
The choice of grammar obliterates anything you want to say after that, Why is your brain lazy? What will it cost you to be deliberate? You want to be taken seriously? then speak and write properly. I don't have time for kindergarten tantrums.

Mr Brainerd take the lead seun should employ you to cross check every grammer inside the website, Well done bro Grammatical thug like you.

wandyvirus:
What is "on a norms"? This aversion to doing things right and coming off as a lout is really infuriating. "Normally" is the right thing to say and write. Be deliberate. That is how one we interviewed kept on saying "on a norms". Is that English or what? Or just plain laziness and crass irresponsibility!

You only attacked the grammar I used you didn't deliberate on the statement but you choose the reverse and this alone makes you a grammar Nazist.

I don't think so they are the simply has a cutting edge sword and play politics at its best. Southerners should learn from the north they are more coordinated when it comes to politics. The only exception is if majority of there politicians will fold there's arm and allow terrorism and banditry destroy there core values.

On a norms He has the right to sue if we only have working justice system this won't be an issue as simple as it sound its an infringement of copy right.
The company's should have creative content and advertising departments not stealing from a think tank comedian. Let's call a spade a spade here.

The Ukraine is only winning this war in the Leftist media Putin don't want to negotiate cuz he is certain he will conquar Ukraine it may take time but he will do it that's why I love Russia once there mind is made up it's a do or die affairs. Zelesnky is Europe pupit and will be doomed.

That's the honest truth America is deceiving them while they suffer it the most I petty Ukrainian cuz very soon food crisis and shortage will mess with them

Damn Nigeria is bless indeed natural resources here and there but this mumu government will always mismanagement it they should involve specialist to handle it and utilitize it.

NSNA:
A Yoruba adage says -

"The ant that is eating the vegetable dwells under the vegetable"

Why do the Igbo people feel comfortable living amongst Yoruba states like their second home but show little to no loyalty towards the Yorubas?
Until this question is answered the Igbo will continue to be looked at with suspicion

Terms like Ewedu and Afonja are always used in a condescending manner by Igbos, a thing that other tribes don't do.
Why has the Igbo nation always voted against Yoruba's right from independence from Awolowo to Abiola

Why?

See Questions how will I know go and ask your forefathers cuz the little I know it's Yoruba betrayal to the Igbo broke the trust between them.
Trust a Yoruba man at your own peril.

Smart move bro investing in yourself is the best you can do for yourself enjoy your money alone and forget those bitches cuz these holes aren't loyal

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work.

The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no.

The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills.

So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it.

I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again.

So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything.

We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace.

Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

Well your story is long but interesting
My observations are you have not experienced that kind of relationship and intimacy before your nature and emotions can't help you either due to the fact you can't control it. Cheating on your wife is bad but I don't blame you cux you can't cheat nature no matter how much you try to. My advice you have to let go or live with it.

You would have wifed her when you had the chance to buy missed out there's nothing wrong in getting another wife to satisfy your craving as long as you can keep up with the finances. Man have to be selfish sometimes cuz you only live once.

You just have to let go bro and build your mental strength and emotions read articles about mental strength and emotions it might help and finally keep your secrets and cherish the memories and love you wife and children. All the best

They don retire Dino by force he will never win any primary election talk more of main election again for his life. Karma is a bitch indeed

Yes baba Buhari was mad and desperate and he later became Nigeria president just like Jagaban Tinubu is becoming mad and desperate to be Nigeria president.

Only time will tell

Madmohamed123:
I know you are a Fulani you people think Nigeria belong to you

God forbid I rather be dead man walking than to be a fulani Man.

Good wirte up moral lessons build your masculinity as an aspiring Man Don't be afraid to embrace your inner masculinity you don't need to impress women to attract one..

Small monkeypox now you want to politicize it just like covid-19, Health institutions are scammers the day remove the power they have over your health & lifestyle and do your personal research about health that's when you will realise they don't have your best interest at heart.

This is Good news for man United fans sell all those over paid players and rebuild from the scratch.