₦airaland Forum

falconey:
GUYs how can you resist such figure? If there is any technique you use let us now.

Girl is deformed...

Chico Ejiro Production.

@gj22

And I forgot to add, only a fool will wire money or even make a DIRECT PayPal payment for these services over the internet.

Everyone pays by ESCROW.

...your beloved PayPal doesn't offer buyer protection for services. I learnt that the expensive way.

gj22:
So, you think the system is different for those sites? I am on all those sites you mentioned and the problem is still the same. Most people do not want to wire money because it's really expensive. Most people in the international online market go with PayPal. It's like making 10k when what you really should be making is 100k.

It's not a matter of minding me, it's a matter of knowing what the hell you are talking about before talking.

You sir, are the one who knows nothing about these freelancing sites.

Doesn't matter if the employer pays with cowrie shells. Freelancer.com for example sends payment straight to your account.

Indians are banking, Pakistanis are banking. I've even given projects to people from Kenya and Uganda.

Employers don't generally care about your location. But your REVIEWS.

They have NOTHING to fear since payment is released to you only after you meet agreed upon milestones.

mumumugu:
Buhari mate

72

Football age...

2 Months ke?

Billyonaire:
I am sorry, have you ever heard of the word 'wire transfer' ?

Don't mind him.

Currently, there are lots of Nigerians on Freelancer and most likely oDesk & Elance.

And you can even sell stuff anonymously - with a virtual address, a pseudonym and virtual assistants - from any country of your choice.

jaedee:
I believe it is sinful and in the bible. self-service, not pouring inside a woman... name it. God killed a man (Onan) because of it and I have d bible scripture. Genesis 38:8-10. Until biblically proven wrong I won't think otherwise.

God doesn't kill people.

Don't believe everything you read in the Bible...

Surplus90:
...And men riding bicycles to work with ease. I
can imagine how life was back then.

Well, these orderly fine people gave birth to 21 million mad niggas...the rest they say is history.

On another note, I strongly suspect 20 million of these folks currently reside in Lagos .

sinizia:
Hilarious photo? What's hilarious about this pic?

Maybe, it'll be hilarious after the March 28...

You infidels!

Cutehector:
Its so annoyin eh. Nowadays I dnt even chyke ladies anymore. I just see dem and let dem be

If our ancestors behaved thus, our specie would have been extinct.

Even if you are gollum, the more you get rejected, the more you'll get that little pecker of yours wet.

The numbers are on your side.

Saimeritus:
The past 3 girlfriend I had dumped me because I refused to do the thing with them. I'm from a very responsible family and I had a covenant with God not to have sex until marriage. I have been good to those girls , buys them lots of gift cos I'm on 3 scholarships.The day I went to the home of my 2nd gf, we were all alone in the house, she kept touching me but I didn't make a move. This infuriated her. The next day I called her, she keeps busying my calls. She dumped me just like that. My last gf came to my room at school the other day and I cooked for her, entertained her very well but when she showed green light , I rejected it. I have been calling her since then but she doesn't pick my calls. They all say that I'm not a man. pls what should I do to keep a good girl into a relationship? I think I am a failure when it comes to relationships. candid advice needed

What if God doesn't want you to make an abstinence covenant with him?

Rapmoney:
Guys, how many times have you experienced this situation?

1) She greets you at all times of the day with sexy smiles and you think she is in love. You approach her and she turns you down painfully

2) She never fails to stare at you in an erotic way whenever you see her in the street...you feel you would easily bleep her. You approach her and she fall your hand by rejecting you outrightly in all ramifications My guy would be like:'WTF...I thought I looked like Trey Songz to her!!!'

3) You met her at a party. She danced seductively with you! Holding you, giving you 'ukwu' lavishly. Your joystick come whisper to ur brain like:**'I must fiok dis babe today'** Oya, time dor reach to go house...next thing u see one short ugly dude with a Toyota Venza and she says: 'That's my boyfriend, thanks for keeping me company, take care!'

4) She laughs at all your jokes and always seems happy when she is with you , U come chyke her and she tells you she is not interested! Say she is into a relationship! My guy go be like: 'Shuo! I feel say the babe dey trip for me o!'

Chai!!! Women...deh nor fit understand una at all
You can share yours!

Pseudo-resistance...

Be relentless. Be like a h0rny he-goat who cannot be denied.

.

brownlord:
We don't give a damn, provided their activities remain in NE, they can even join anything they deem fit.

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.....Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee." ---- John Donne

As much as we don't like his style very much, people like him make the world move forward.

Missy89:
I am very ugly. In fact i dont go out

This explains a lot.

tweetobyte:
Nawao.. People be taking Paracetamol on top another person headache *sigh

In other news, I have a Twitter account with over
32,000 followers for sale. Good for promoting
business, products and services to Nigerians
mostly in Lagos. Price: N25,000 .. Interested
buyers should contact 080-828-986-87

If you have a 32,000 following of REAL people. Why not pitch them something yourself...

SuperSuave:
Baba your letter is too long. What was your grade in WAEC?

What does it matter...

Beautiful write-up.

What's the point of blowing all this grammar - if she won't understand it?

Show us your ukwu...

AmberQueen:
See his ugly face.....

Mschew!

A man is never ugly .

.

Flytefalls:
I'm a mellow Lion, the kind you'd see napping on a hot rock. My husband is the territorial one who pisses over everything (my husband would make a great case study I swear).

Wow you really meant world travel. I've never heard of Nomadic Matt, perhaps it's one for the Kindle (I've been taking people's recommendations literally since I received this damn Kindle)

Beep me? You better be talking beep, as one would sound a car horn to greet, and not bleep, as a h0rny one would inside a car

Husband's home now, time to look for his trouble

www.NomadicMatt.com - he's been featured everywhere. Like EVERYWHERE.

Certainly would have a Kindle version too.

Lol, how did you get to bleep from beep?

You're my brother's wife, so can't touch this...


But Mr Flytefalls should be put on notice that the Mrs nurses certain secret desires that involve automobiles .

She's not all books, cooking and good ol' missionary.

Tell him it's a myth too...nothing will happen to his car engine.

yuzedo:
The usual evening conversation between my mother and I while she cooked was interrupted at 7 o’clock. Opening the door to our flat, I let in an extremely downcast Nomso, who upon greeting my mom, asked for my presence in their home on his dad’s request.

I was perturbed! As the official neighborhood rascal and serial mischief-maker, I could hardly keep track of which debauchery committed was responsible for my summoning, and Nomso’s stoic countenance and reticence was not helping my frantic recollection efforts.

We arrived their downstairs apartment in less than a minute, and my heart thumped as Papa Nomso welcomed me with a forced cheeriness, his pseudo-joviality being an attempt at keeping me relaxed. I knew from painful experience that it was most definitely the usual grown person trick to lull me into a false sense of security and so kept my guard up, even as my brain stayed churning plausible excuses and alibis to utilize in the inevitable eventuality of whatever accusation(s) being thrown at me. Dumebi, the second son and my playmate stood morose in a corner, devoid of his customary liveliness. I knew this was big.

“Dimma, how was school today?” Papa Nomso asked.

“Fine?” I responded tentatively. School was NEVER fine, after all, and surely, I was not there to discuss the goodness of education. Or was I?

As if reading my thoughts, Papa Nomso continued, “I know you are busy helping your mom upstairs and I don’t want to keep you for long. You see, your friends and I are reviewing their homework and can’t get past a particular math question. Want to know if you can help?”

Simultaneous feelings of relief at not being called out to answer war crime charges, and amplified anxiety at the strong possibility of failing whatever Rocket Science that my friends could not answer immediately took hold of me. However, I knew I was not being given a choice as to whether I wanted to answer on not; I was there to either console or fuel the anger of Papa Nomso on account of his sons’ temporary lack of wit, and probably give him reason to tear at the falling academic standards characterized by our collective obtuseness.

I nodded my readiness to attempt this great, perhaps cancer-curing equation I would be required to solve. I didn’t feel very optimistic.

“What is a quarter of one hundr………. If a boy has a hundred kobo and is asked to divide it amongst four friends, how much would each person get?”

For a second I stared in confusion.

Confused, not at difficulty of the question, but the utter simplicity. My rapidly gaping mouth and expression of ridiculous confoundment must have given my friends a false sense of hope as they silently willed me to fail the question, even as their dad looked on in that second that lasted forever.

“Twenty-five kobo.”, I answered with a mixture of assured conviction and lingering doubt as to the true motive of what was surely a trick question.

Papa Nomso vibrated with what was undoubtedly a cocktail of emotions including righteous anger, happiness, pride, disappointment and the sweet, sweet feeling of justification for what(ever) course of action he was going to take next. These feelings were so overwhelming, he couldn’t contain himself as he rushed towards me, hands outstretched to shake mine, and concomitantly reaching to hug me.

Dumebi and Nomso cursed me in crestfallen despair, surely weeping in their hearts.

The next few seconds saw me being hastened out of the house by a man who needed immediate gratification through the expression of a well of emotions. A man who, neither for all the silver in the world, nor all the entreaties of its noblemen would deviate or reconsider his next course of action. His exact feelings needed conveyance, and a second’s delay could not be afforded.

I said a prayer for my friends. But even I knew it was futile.

I got back upstairs just as the first peal of thunder broke the tranquility of the night. It was as strange as it was ironic, given that the weather remained as clement as paradise is imagined to be. Rapid claps of cannon-sounding, pain-dispensing cane lashes interjected by the anguished cries of two young souls in torture rent the air. It was a deadly day.

The thrashing was not the only stiff measure Papa Nomso took against the boys, as their TV and video gaming privileges were withdrawn, as were the daily Mr. Biggs treats. He personally undertook their coaching on an intensive scale.

Result of that vehement intervention?

Dumebi left me behind the next year when he achieved an effortless double-promotion in a special exam at our school, which I spectacularly bungled.

Nomso was admitted on merit to Federal Government College, Warri to commence his secondary education.

ME?

My backside remained welt-free for the duration of my education, and I went ahead to not only supply the last four digits in Pi, but was also responsible for finally bringing peace to the Middle East.

Ya. **insert visuals of my most idiotic, drooling face here**

#

I want to be like you when I grow up...

Flytefalls:
He's Igbo. I'm a Leo and I have big hair, I'm surprised his superstition didn't run that deep but last week he parked the car after a cat had crossed the road and didn't move until another car passed where it had crossed. I would say he's a mental head case if he wasn't so amazing otherwise

Your days have been very merry then, I'm happy for you . Please if you need help planning anything let me know!!! There is much joy to be had when planning adventures. I've just arranged a group trip with my cousins to Paris this summer (like 10 of us!!) because I can't stand the fact they've never been and view France as one large Calais. They gon learn .

Thinking of visiting anywhere in particular?

LMAO @ I'm a Leo and I have big hair Hehe, I bet you do pack a punch too.

Hmmm...the superstition is quite strong with my good friend.

Guess it has to do with the particular environment he grew up in. Or he knows some really esoteric chit that we are totally ignorant about .

Lol @ planning adventures. I knew I was gonna beep you at some point, Mrs Gulliver.

Generally speaking: Africa => Central/South America => Ze Orient => Europe and the US.

Currently reading Nomadic Matt's really cool How To Travel The World on $50 a Day.

Will sure keep you updated.