₦airaland Forum

NIGERIAN PARENTS ONLY BEAT O!
My mom rarely did. . . ! I wish she did. . . her mouth was WORSE!
My father. . .bless his heart. . . will always give you a choice. . . your palms or your 'BUTT'! NEVER A SCRATCH TO SHOW FOR ALL HIS WILLOW CANES. . . . He had one for every child. . . . Too bad, it did not cure 'stubborness'!
He had to accept he had the MOST STUBBORN DAUGHTER ANY ONE WOULD DREAD! Yup! He finally gave up after a healthy dose of HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!

As kpe others disciplining us. . . .MU CHE CHE CHE CHE CHE. . . . Not in this life or the one to come! ONLY MY DAD EVER CANED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUTTA US. The only other person that tried WITH A SINGLE SLAP. . .slept in jail for like 1 month with a 'record' for life. Lucky devil! I have since learned to use a gun to claim 'self-defence' like my good 'ol AMERICAN, CO-insurance-for-death spouses have taught moi. . . . YOU ARE A DEAD MAN/WOMAN WALKING. . .SLEEPING!

THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR NIGERIAN SPOUSE IN AMERICA!!!!

God bless AMERICA. . . MY HOME SWEEEEEEEET HOME!!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJNqep77vBw

Argggggggggggggggggggggh!
People love this MILITIA sha!
It can't be helped!
Much love too. . . no more fighting for the year. I have to save my 'juices' for much needed 'lubrication'!
May I keep sounding like the 'sanest MAD woman'!

Iseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

[size=20pt]You have 1 new Nairaland PM. Please check your e-mail account now.

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Merry Xmas to you too! Playing you my VERY, VERY, VERY . . . .MOST ROMANTIC XMAS SONG. . . for LOVERS ONLY! I would like to 'rock' you with this song. Can you feel my love from hia?

I love you too!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOXqc7Tq6y0


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8OTNAgRS-w


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY5ONVWT5v0

pDude: Callotti please tell me about why anytime you open your mouth on nairaland, I just go dey laff sotay my belle go wan burst. Please tell me about ur funny personality.

My darling bros. . .NA GODIOH! My best coping medicine to life's challenges has always been laughter.
It just comes naturally darling.
I was born by a pair of 'great clowns'!
Never a dull moment growing up. . .with lots of love, fun and games. ESPECIALLY WITH THE KIND OF COUSINS I GREW UP WITH! PRANKSTERS!

I think it is genetic.
When you hang out with 'BOYS' only. . . . .your most endearing quality is to make them laugh till they quench.
I have always been a happy soul.
Since I came to NL, have you EVER SEE ME SAD OR MISERABLE? Except when germs try to 'colonize' my nostrils.

Nna. . . my life is toooooooooooooo rich.
Yesterday at work. . . my co-workers laughed till they nearly died! One begin shout say head dey pain am!
Any time I appear at work. . . the whole place lights up!

It is a gift I guess. My sense of humor amazes me too. I can't help it. Even my mama no fit siddon for one place whenever I am around. Our househelps. . . hmmmmmmm! Dem dey call me from Nigeria to gist, make I make them laugh for phone.

Humor makes a personality WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARM. . . . .the heart of others!
I am blessed. ALWAYS. Keep laughing dearie. Please don't stop. . . it prolongs life and the world is always a happier, KINDER AND WARMER place.

LESS WRINKLES AND LESS GREY HAIR TOO!

I am just pitying her poohsie!
Rochas and Roaches nor go h-enter dia ah-gain lai lai!

These Biafrans have come again. . . PLEASE GOV. SSSSHIMEH is alive.
Make una dey chop money for im dedi bodi!
We know say una like 'OGWU EGO' too much!
Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

THE OKIJA CONGREGATION GATHERETH IN NAZARETH!

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!


Phocking liars!

THIS DUDE LOOKS LIKE AN AIDS PATIENT! No shame. . . just come out and tell us.

Ngwa nu o! MY FELLOW WIDOWERS!

Am I supposed to be impressed by this piece?
When the same amount would go a long way to maintain the existing ramshackles called 'schools' all over Nigeria?
THE BLACK MAN IS CURSED I SWEAR!
Twa!

Hmmmmmmm!
I am sure she is remembering her own 'trip' to Germany. . .
This life is like a coin. . . the side the world sees and the side only a person knows and no other!

Private thoughts!
A time for sober reflection.

Not again!
Na waya o!
No dialysis hospital for Nigeria?

At least Ibori will be assured of the best care in London prison!

WHERE ARE THOSE DIM-WITS WHO SAY NIGERIA IS BETTER THAN MY DARLING AMERICA?

Highly irresponsible! I HOPE IT WAS THE MALE 'FRIEND' THAT REPORTED THIS AS A SET UP? A 30 YEAR-OLD AND A 13 YEAR OLD?
Goodnews! She did it to her own flesh and blood!
The will of GOD!

Blessed are the 'fruit' turned 'bitter kola'of the DORTY-womb and DISEASE-blokos!

WONDERS!TUFIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

THE DANGERS OF 'FATHERLESS' BABY HOMES! IT IS ONE THING TO OPEN THY AZZZE TO SHYTE OURRA-CHILD. . . AND ANOTHER TO ACT LIKE A DECENT PARENT!

Daddy! I love you to death!

[size=20pt]She faces up to five years in prison.[/size]

ONLY? SHE NEEDS AT LEAST 20 YEARS! Too bad the 13 year-old is gonna be forced to live like an orphan. No mother, no father!

DISGUSTING!

YOU are only allowed to correct them. . .as in you are not allowed to do this or that.
Nothing more. YOU CANNOT LAY YOUR HANDS ON THEM. . . NEVER!
I don't givva phock what they did.
I will treat others' kids with the same courtesy.
Any responsible co-parent or adult should do is pick up the damn phone and report to moi. . .I would do the same!

You ain't finna take our your e badu belle and e jolosi socio-economi-psycho-spiritual-demonic frustrations on any of my sweetie-pies. . . no matter how rotten you think they izzzz!

It's gonna get REEEEEEEAL UGLY. . . .REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL FAST!

Feel free to kill yours BECAUSE YOUR CULTURE AND TRADITION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TEACHES YOU THE SICK AND DEPRESSING SATISFACTION FROM SLAMMING KIDS AROUND ALL BECAUSE YOU WANNO SHOW AUTHORITY!

You put LAY any of your finger on ANY of 'em. . . you gonna smell 'gunpowder'. . .not pepper! Ammo make sure I CRIPPLE/MAIM ALL YA KIDS. . .PLUS YA GRANDMAMAS/PAPAS INCLUDED!

Good news. . . they ain't gonna be with 'abusive' beasts of burden. . .as long as I am alive.

KIDS WILL ALWAYS MISBEHAVE BECAUSE THEY GAT NO SENSE MOST OF THE DOGGONE TIME! You teach 'em. . . not BULLY THEM!
If I feel your kids are not acting right. . . I will let you know and BANISH 'EM FROM MY HOUSE FOR EVER before I put my fingers on any of 'em!

Shikena!

ceewai lebi: Holy-Christ!

Pray she does not come back pregnant. . . . with diseases!

The Deltan Governor in action!

www.nairaland.com/attachments/660053_gov__uduaghan_of_delta_state_jpge2b51624e84476abd33de19f9dbc4abf

Let us see if Uduaghan will shed a tear like this. . . .
GOD BLESS AMERICA. . . MY HOME SWEEEEEEEETEST HOME!!!

https://static.dnaindia.com/images/cache/1777841.jpg

Eating too much chicken. . . .
What next? A duck's beak?
Abi na antelope ears?

Age appropriately of course!

Who dares mention the American shooting? Is it worse than Boko Haram?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25dL1Wj-ygg

SEE AM! FOR ARAB COUNTRY O! THE GREAT DUBAI!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J67e2qclHe0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW7yEQqdImI