₦airaland Forum

Dyt:
Relieve tension?

It's good not to play too much I guess
At my time of need now people think its all jokes



Someone already said it
If I didn't say I was about to drink sniper
No one would listen and coupled with the fact that I am a known joker

No problem

Dyt,
You need to threaten to commit suicide,you need to threaten to commit bodily harm to yourself for people to take you seriously. You need to scream out and threaten hell and brimstones for your thread to be taken serious.
Quite frankly,this thread is a joke to ease the tension caused by Mojis thread. Once again,thank you for relieving tension.
Respect,ma.

Dyt:
Pls this is no jokes
Dunno why everyone is taking my posts to be something funny


Caveatemptor
I see you ooo

Nice thread,Idayatu.
Thanks for relieving the tension.
Lots of respect to you.

Ishilove:
Lmao!

Brother caveat, my apologies in advance for what I'm about to say.

Egbon, you were doing 'fumbule'. 'Fumbulity'. 'Behbehto'.

You 'beh' to go and help a grown ass, educated adult to open a bank account, yet, like onegai pointed, this is someone that has gone through the rigours of immigration and international travel. For pete's sakes, why??

Which kain yeye 'oju aye' petting were trying to pet her? How can she get her acts together when folks are doing things for her? At her age I was working a job I did not like just to raise money for my MA program, but she is sitting at home throwing up excuses for not wanting to join her mum in the family business.

It's acts like these that is giving her that sense of entitlement that she has been having for so long.

If she can't open an account on her own, how can she manage a business? If she is too ill to go to the bank, she should wait until she is strong enough then drag her ass up and go do that sheeit herself. It's about time she gets her acts together and these kind of spoon feeding will only slow down her 'developmental project', while earning you names like 'ritualist'.

Pele o.

Sister ishilove,
I accept I might have been wrong to feel I could do what I wanted to do and help someone I felt was in a tight corner but let me tell you a story.
Nineteen years ago my wife,was late into her first pregnancy. I was working in an establishment in Zamfara state,while my poor wife was alone in our house in Lagos.
One night she went into labour.y wife picked up her maternity bags and staggered out of the house. Managed to lock the doors and struggled to walk out of the compound gate in the throes of labour. Outside the gate on the street she was hit by intense contractions. A man driving by in his car saw her bent over,parked his car and asked her what the problem was. She told him between painful breaths that it was labour. This stranger helped my wife into his car and drove her to the hospital where she registered for antenatal,almost two kilometres from my house. He helped her out of the car took her to the labour room and only left after she gave birth to my son and first child about thirty minutes later.
I do not know this man's name till today and have never met him but I am eternally grateful to him because I know that in pregnancy there is a slim line between life and death. The product of that pregnancy is today an undergraduate. I always think about that stranger and always say a silent prayer for him and his family.
So I am sorry if I come across as silly to you but where ever pregnancy is concerned I will always try to help.
Thank you. Sorry for my long story.

5minsmadness:
But jokes apart, you mustn't blame the mother @caveatemptor. You can see that she is still a caring mother to want to know who her daughter is with and what she is up to. The poor old woman must be overwhelmed by this sudden overflow of attention by strangers calling her daughter and knocking at her door.
No vex o bros! At least you tried.



Pls someone here has said something important. The mother must be aware she is starting an account, it is possiblethe woman has refused creating an account for her daughter for a reason. Make una no go help help turn your help to stumbling block.

Boss, I understand your point.
I was just worried about the unborn baby and the other child. I felt if she had a bank account,things such as antenatal payments in a good hospital would be easier for her. I felt if she had some spending money in her hands she would calm down and the aggression towards her mum would mellow down.
From my conversations with her she is performing her antenatal in a local Baba's place. I warned her of the dangers of using such unregistered maternity homes in case of complications during birth. We both prayed such complications would never be her portion in God's name,but privately I was worried and curious as to why her mother would allow her to register in such an unhealthy maternity home. That is why I feel her mum has her own short comings in these issues or she is financially incapacitated.
In my humble opinion this lady needs our help and we must all rally around to help her in any way we can.
I suggest Thorpido who has been able to get close to the family should continue to work on both mum and daughter and then get back to any body ready to contribute to the cause.
I am readily available to any contributions. Just mention my moniker.
Peace!

Funjosh:
Hmmmm boss it is well. Just don't be offended Please.

Bros,as I said before I found the ritualistic talk quite amusing. I am not angry. Whenever things even out if there is any contributions to be made to her cause. My widows mite is still available for her. Just holla at my moniker.
No hard feelings.

At about 06.00hrs this morning Moji sent me a what's app message that I should meet her at NNPC early because she was going somewhere with her mum. From my home to the petrol station was about a fifteen minute drive,so by 06.20 hours I was parked inside the NNPC petrol station awaiting Moji and her mum.
I put a voice call through to her line and told her I was waiting for her. She told me she would be with me in about 10 minutes,however from the background sounds itvwas obvious she was in her house and not yet ready.
30 minutes later Moji and her mother were no where in sight. I was worried about sitting in my car in a petrol station without buying fuel. I put another call to Moji,reminding her that I worked in Ikeja and my work was time based,again she promised to be with me in 10 minutes time,but from the background noise it was obvious she was still at home.
By 15/minutes after 07.00 hours,I was ready to climb a wall and was completely exasperated. My boss was calling me that I was needed in the office.
At 07.30 hours,I was still in the fuel station when Moji called that she and her mum were at XYZ petrol station. I almost hit my head on the dashboard. Moji calmly told me that her mother,wanted to see me and that I should turn round from NNPC station and drive down to XYZ station,in the background I could hear her mother shouting at her.
I just started my car and drove off. I found her to be very unserious.
When I got to the Office, Moji called me to tell me her mother said I must be a ritualist. I found that amusing and told Moji I did not owe her money. I was just trying to help because of the kids. I advised her to go to a bank and get a form for a savings account. She was reluctant. I offered to send her recharge cards of 5000 Naira for her to sell and open an account. She was reluctant as she said people would think she wanted to defraud them.
I just gave up and told her to try and open an account,send me the number,then I would contribute my widows mite.

Good day,
I am the Nairalander that promised to help Moji open an account. Although a few people have questioned my motive and intentions for doing this,I must state with all honesty that my reasons for wanting to help Moji out of the quagmire she found herself in stems purely for the children she is bringing into the world without any consideration for how she will feed/cloth/take care of them.
My interaction with Moji has been through the phone and through Whatsapp. On Whatsapp she came across as a very articulate young lady but across the phone vocally she comes across as some one who does not listen to contrary opinion and some one who is obstinate and not ready to listen to a contrary opinion except her own. She would talk on end and it was very difficult to get a word in,when she was in full flow.
When I started communication with Moji.I told her I wanted to open an account for her so she could pay for her antenatal process and any sundry expenses. I requested she open an account at any bank but she told me she had no idea of how to go about the process.
I explained she needed a utility bill. A couple of passport photographs or an international passport.
She claimed she had an international passport but appeared lost about the process. I asked where she lived and she told me Obadore off Igando. I asked if I could visit the house and that she should give me directions to the house. I actually wanted to meet her mother in order to get her perspective on issues,however Moji suggested we meet at Igando bus stop. If you know Igando very well you know it is a mad house. A bedlam of chaotic traffic of cars,okada,Maruwa and trailers. I therefore suggested I wait for Moji inside the NNPC petrol station at Igando,from where we could proceed to First Bank Igando.

moji26:
my dear sister, onegai, I apologize to u, I'm vry sorry for what I said, bt I said that out of frustration ,I'm sorry sister, pls forgive me,and Tanx for ur concern on me since morning, may God continue to bless you

Better.
Please keep your temper in check. Help is on the way.

baby124:
No body holy pass, but this girl will not change if she is not berated. Right now what is on her mind is how to feed herself. They never think of tomorrow, just right now. She can still go out tomorrow and make the same mistake. I know someone who had a madam that was going to send her to the university. She kept going around the area having sex for money as young as 15 to bleach and buy okrika. She got pregnant about 3 times and is now a young mother with no secondary school certificate, the man has run away and she works in a quack shop trying to survive. She's not even 20 but now looks 40. They won't learn at all till they hit the very bottom.

Okay ma.
I smoked weed many times back in secondary school,but I reformed myself. Today I hold a position of responsibility in a government organisation. As I said nobody holy pass.
Lots of the ladies castigating Moji had pre marital sex but are today safely ensconced in their husbands houses with no one holding it against them. How many women being sanctimonious on this thread were virgins when they entered their husbands houses.
It is easy to point fingers at people but the remaining four fingers point back at you.
We have all made mistakes in our life's but that never stopped us becoming what we are today.
Our heavenly father forgives us our sins so why will we mere mortals refuse to forgive human transgressions?
Moji has made her mistakes. Hell yeah,she has slept around. She has made her mistakes like all of us but will we continue to hold it against her perpetually?
Like I said I will attempt to help her get her life back in track and off the road to perdition. If you do not want to do this and want to keep on talking down to her,it is your God given right.

My simple point is nobody holy pass.(Excuse my French).
It is easy to be wise after an event. It is even easier to point sanctimonious fingers and talk down on others mistakes,but in reality we all have our short comings,only that some are more devastating to our life's than others. Some kids are very delicate,and no two persons/kids are the same.
We should all come off our high horses and see what we can do to practically help this poor confused girl called Moji. What has happened has happened and we can not turn back the hands of the watch on Father Times wrist.
I personally will find time to call this poor girl up and find time to trace her house to see what can be done to reconcile her with her mother and see how I can help her open an account in any bank near her vicinity.
I think that is the first practical way to take her off the road to perdition she is presently on. She has cried out for help. I believe those who want to help her should do so,while those who do not want to do so are also in their rights,but I plead we should stop talking down on her because she found/put herself in this position because nobody can predict tomorrow.

Jarizod:
[color=#679267] No it's NOT!!! I have kept mute concerning her continuous rants but it's too much na!

She isn't behaving her age..At her age she should be handle matters more maturely in my opinion!

Take Joke Silva for example.. isn't she also a celeb!!!! [/color]

My friend,
On this matter Miss Olunloyo is 100% correct. Toke was totally off point!

Onegai:
You know what? All this is getting pretty annoying. Allow me to leave this young lady to you guys.

Jaybee3, thorpido and ifyalways, let us leave this matter, we have become monsters o. Abeg free this matter. To your tents o Israel And to think that I had called to say I was sleeping on mainland next week to go and see this babe.

Thorpido, getting rid of the tab is not about money, it's about her showing she's willing to do whatever it takes: let's start getting rid of all the things that are of the past. I'm not going to be an enabler to silly decisions and pet anybody till we see some progress. Get rid of the tab, beg her mum and then we start.

Haba, madam this is too much!
Why are you so obsessed with this poor misguided girls tab. Someone has told you the screen is cracked and it would be of poor resale value.
Let us learn to speak to people in a dignified manner,please. She may be down today and might have made wrong choices but that does not give anyone the right to play god almighty. If you would not help her,others gladly will.
Naa waooo.

Empty crowd?
Bloggers.....

This debate was fun.
Anytime Hillary Clinton was on the mic,Donald Trump was standing behind her,snorting,growling and looming over her like a Neanderthal. At one point he was so in her space I thought he wanted to pick her up,slam her over the lectern, and give it to her from behind.

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1984 Cameroonian coup attempt
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An attempted coup d'état occurred in Cameroon in 1984; presidential palace guards unsuccessfully tried to overthrow President Paul Biya, resulting in fighting that began on April 6, 1984 and ended several days later. The coup attempt is widely viewed as one of the most crucial events in the history of Cameroon since independence in 1960.[1]

Background Edit

After nearly 23 years as President of Cameroon, Ahmadou Ahidjo resigned for unclear reasons in November 1982 and was succeeded by Prime Minister Paul Biya. Despite his resignation, Ahidjo remained President of the Cameroon National Union (CNU), the ruling party, and retained enormous political influence. Although Ahidjo's resignation was voluntary and he was initially happy to see Biya take his place as President (although Biya was a Christian from the south and Ahidjo was a Muslim from the north), a power struggle between the two developed in 1983. Ahidjo attempted to assert his supremacy by arguing that the party should make policy decisions and that the state should merely implement them, but Biya in turn pointed out that the constitution assigned responsibility for determining policy to the President of the Republic. Ahidjo went into exile in July 1983, and on August 22, 1983, Biya publicly accused Ahidjo of plotting a coup, while simultaneously dismissing two key Ahidjo loyalists—Prime Minister Maigari Bello Bouba and Minister of State for the Armed Forces Maikano Abdoulaye—from the government. Ahidjo bitterly criticized Biya from exile, accusing him of paranoia and misrule, and he resigned as President of the CNU. In February 1984 he was sentenced to death in absentia for alleged involvement in the 1983 coup plot, although the sentence was subsequently commuted to life imprisonment by Biya.

In early April 1984, President Biya ordered a transfer of all presidential palace guards who came from the predominantly Muslim north, probably because he had been alerted to a coup plot involving those soldiers. Dissident members of the palace guard promptly reacted to the order by rebelling against Biya; the plot's leaders may have been forced to launch their coup attempt prematurely due to Biya's order to relocate the soldiers away from the capital, Yaoundé. After several days of heavy fighting in Yaoundé, Biya loyalists defeated the rebels. Estimates of the death toll ranged from 71 (according to the government)[2] to about 1,000.[3] More than 1,000 accused dissidents were arrested shortly afterward, and 35 of them were immediately sentenced to death and executed. The government declared a state of emergency lasting six months in Yaoundé and the surrounding region.

Although Ahidjo was not overtly involved in the coup attempt, it was widely believed that he had masterminded it from exile.[2] The failure of the coup attempt was followed by Biya's full consolidation of power; in 1985 he relaunched the CNU as the Cameroon People's Democratic Movement (CPDM).

References

Last edited 2 years ago by Tec15
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@Zaynie,
Lovely write up. You took me back to the time I finished my NYSC and couldn't secure a job,so I had to start a teaching job to keep body and soul together. So many years ago.......
I taught English grammar in a typing school. The students were exasperating but I so enjoyed the experience of trying my best to impart knowledge. It was fun. I later taught at a private evening lesson school for final year secondary school students preparing for WAEC. It was an experience and I was given all kinds of nicknames.
Some of the mature students were up to all kinds of tricks but that is a story for another day.
For those accusing the OP of plagiarism, you have not been able to prove anything. Give us a definite link to the page you claimed she copied this write up from or please just keep quiet and exit this wonderful thread.
@OP,
Once again,thanks for this lovely, wonderful write up. I am following you from this minute.

weedtaker:
please comrades between united and spurs who do you guys think have the better squad?

Spurs.
I think they were very unlucky to lose the title in the run in last season.
The addition of Wanyama and Sissoko has added a steel to their midfield.

Nice thread OP.
Something to laugh about in the midst of hardship.

Chelseafan1:
Jesus Christ... ..

Like I said we are in a depression, the APC is only sugar coating it and calling it a recession.
If you are smart and have funds,don't keep it in a bank because the Naira is a crashing currency. Buy dollars and keep. It makes more sense.

crown08:
walahi U Av Given Me an Idea

Walahi,Buhari is a disaster and this is his idea of how to create jobs.

Chelseafan1:
I was thinking of going to change ds few $$$ I got today, looks like I am still gonna keep it ooo, what do u suggest my brother....lol

Hold on for as long as possible. The Naira is in total free fall. By December it could go for 550-600.

This is a disgraceful calamity. And the Finance minister flip flopped that the country is getting out of the recession. We are not in a recession but in a serious depression.
The only positive I see is that Mr Buhari has created jobs for the jobless people via Naira/Dollar speculation. Congratulations to a vision less administration.
Next week I am gonna take 150 Thousand out of my salary to buy dollars and keep in my wardrobe until the dollar hits 1000 Naira to a dollar the sell it off at an astronomical profit. This is APC government idea of job creation,and if you are smart,you need to tap into it.
May God save us from this disaster of a government we voted into power because by 2019 the dollar will exchange for 2000 Naira to a Dollar if this free fall continues.
In the meantime I am sure Buhari will find a way to blame Goodluck Jonathan for his economic incompetence.

ManirBK:
http://www.dailytrust.com.ng/news/politics/-nigerians-will-celebrate-buhari-next-year/163892.html

Oga,speak for yourself,please.

The church in Nigeria is an enterprise/an industry/a business,with share holders,board of directors. Like any other business the general overseer/Pastor/Man of God is equivalent to the Managing director of any industrial entity.
Pastorpreneurs is a valid title.

It is only God that can save Nigeria from the maladministration of Buharis government.

vengertime:
I've never seen someone as evil as Buhari. Except Hitler

Naa lie joo.
Buhari evil pass Hitler,Papa Doc,Pol Pot and Idi Amin combined. Anyone who can help the poor masses to get him to quit government today is true friend of Nigeria.

I am just so happy,Jose was able to shut up the Einsteins.
Best match United have played all season.
Herrera and Mata were pivotal to Pogba playing so well and IBRA looked a different player without Mr Rooney slowing him down with his indecisions.
Rooney should realise he is in the twilight of his career and will only be effective as a second half impact substitute or a player to wind down a game as we try to grind out a 1-0/win.
Blinds corner kicks were precise and dangerously wicked unlike Rooney's ponderous corner kicks.
Pogba looked a different player without Rooney slowing him down and kicking balls against opponents.
Juan Mata was simply exquisite in the role behind the striker. A true No 10.
Wish we played like this against City.

Brightgem:
U annoy me. who said her pain is Limited to that one single fact, could the fool not simply tell her he was getting married? well people never know how it feels till it happens to them. pls dnt speak once u have nothing good to say..and ur a lady...

It is NOT a true story dear,.
That Miriam handle is famed for fake stories on Twitter in order to attract followers.
She is famous for her lies.

kikilove:
check it on Google u can find a place to watch it there. I just watched it now. I swear I was stunned couldn't even hear the words of the music he kept repeating I just wanna make love to u

Very poor song. He kept repeating one line.
He used the video to cover up his lyrical inadequacies.

wheesin:
there's nothing wrong with the video, Africans should grow up

C'mon man,no father would like to watch his daughter butt nekid being penetrated from behind by some random guy.
No father would love to see his daughters panties being peeled off for the whole world to see.
The fact that YouTube has pulled/censored the video says a lot of how nasty the video is. I think the artist went the controversial lane in order to promote the song,but he went too far.
This is not art but pure porn.

sinaj:
Speak for yourself and your family next time nd not the entire christians.

You being stingy doesn't make other christians stingy.

Christians give out food and gifts to orphanage homes nd I knw of other Christians that do xme for their neighbours.

Don't generalize ur stinginess next time pls.

GRACIAS!

Thank you.

Here I come, so you better break North,
As I stride, my gold chains glide back and forth.
I care nothing bout you, and that's evident.
All I love's my dope and dead presidents.
Sound crazy? Well it isn't.
The ends justifies the means, that's the system.
I learned that in school then I dropped out,
Hit the streets, checked a grip, and now I got clout.
I had nothing, and I wanted it.
You had everything, and you flaunted it.
Turned the needy into the greedy,
With cocaine, my success came speedy.
Got me twisted, jammed into a paradox.
Every dollar I get, another brother drops.
Maybe that's the plan, and I don't understand,
God damn----you got me sinkin in quicksand.
But since I don't know, and I ain't never learned,
I gotta get paid, I got money to earn.
With my posse, out on the ave,
Bump my sounds, crack a forty and laugh.
Cool out and watch my new Benz gleam,
Is this a nightmare? Or the American dream?
So think twice if you're coming down my block,
You wanna journey through hell? Well shit gets hot.
Pregnant teens, children's screams,
Life is weighed on the scales of a triple beam.
You don't come here much, and ya better not.
Wrong move (bang), ambulance cot.
I gotta get more money than you got,
So what, if some muthafucka gets shot?
That's how the game is played,
Another brother slayed, the wound is deep
BUT they're givin us a Band Aid.
My education's low but I got long dough,
Raised like a pit bull, my heart pumps nitro.
Sleep on silk, lie like a politician,
My Uzi's my best friend, cold as a mortician.
Lock me up, it's genocidal catastrophe,
There'll be another one after me!
A hustler.
Hustler.
H-U-S-T-L-E-R hustler.


Third Verse of New Jack Hustler,by Ice T.