₦airaland Forum

Baybe: I saw one at the bank yesterday. The child should be about 2 years old. He refused to be carried by the mum preferring to seat on the floor blocking people's way. If the mum tried to carry him, he started to cry. I felt like spanking him real hard . I pitied for the mother shaa, see disturbance .

Tell me about it.My daughter is 4 and she still does it.When it happens,I either blackmail/bribe/distract her or hope her mum is near cos dat one no dey take nonsense from her!But when its good old daddy,she go dey form

olaezebala: Cause the only thing you can do as a Computer Engr in 9ja is replacement. Are they expected to build a motherboard or DVD rom e.t.c? They only need to know how to troubleshoot and find the faulty part of the system and go to computer village, buy the part and replace. Simple.

For all those running down University Degrees in Computer Science / Engineering.Those who claim u can learn all u need to know under the bridge at Ikeja need to know that the guys who founded Google,Larry Page and Sergey Brin,were both PhD in Computer Science Candidates.University never hurts you.It opens your eyes to opportunities o!

Promhize: For example, if you have to go to work on sunday, which results to missing Sunday morning church service.
Would you quit your job in such scenario? Try to give reasons

Or in a more pleasant scenario, you have to alternate with someone in your workplace, thereby missing church once in three weeks, i.e going to work on sunday once in three weeks. Would you?

HAPPY SUNDAY

Say who die?

Ishilove: Farting In Church

People don't respect the house of God again. Farting in the sanctuary during a prayer session on a hot evening is just plain NASTY.
The most annoying thing is you can't detect the actual culprit; when it happened to me the foulness emanated from everywhere and nowhere. Everyone {including the culprit, i'm sure} in my section had identical  expressions of disgust, and good God was the stench SHARP and HEAVY!!!

I don't know maybe the evil creature ate a dead rat or sumfin

The odor seared its way into the core of my brain, destroyed my concentration and effectively ruined the rest of the service for me. Some people are just agents of darkness planted to distract and provoke serious worshippers. Ah ahn! Mscheww

Check ya pocket! U sure say no be u so?Nothing to be ashamed of.Sometimes these things escape.

nnanyereugo: dont u kno dat d devil uses doz hu walk around in d church 2 charge dia fone 2 distrac doz hu go 2 recv somtn 4rm GOD? Once u r nt an Usher in d church, n u walk around 4 fone chargn, bliv m, u ve subjctd ursef 2 b a tool in d hands of d devil against d real christians. END TYM TINZ... BEWARE!!!

Oh really?And pray tell who are these REAL Christians?

Afam4eva: Chritianity came from Christ-Like and if you don't possess those attributes of Jesus then you're not a Christian. Going to church everyday is not Christianity.

This guy is on point.You are a Christian if you live your life the way Jesus Christ lived his while he walked the face of the earth.If n8t u r simply being pious.

3ace: I think she actually lied. Did you read the part where the school claimed she couldn't provide her matriculation number? I can never forget my matric number. She said those lies in order to arouse sympathy.

Your matric number is embedded on the side of ur skull.Its not something u forget just like that.By the way,who are her classmates,lecturers,or was she the only one in her set ?

bigtt76: Una free de poor old man jooor. Hahaha so funny though!

Abeg leave the poor old man.E be like say e get diabetes.

abu12: Vigilantes popularly known as “Civilian JTF” yesterday appealed to the Borno Government to facilitate the payment of monthly allowances to them to encourage their activities.
Some of the members told the News Agency ofNigeria (NAN) in Maiduguri that the gesture would boost their morale in ensure security in the state.
Mallam Adam Shitu, a member of the group in Gidan-Dambe, said he had to combine his vulcanising job with that of the vigilance service.
“Most often, I have to abandon my job to help in checking the activities of members of Boko Haram. But I must provide food to my family. Sometimes I have to beg friends or relatives to feed the family,” Shitu said.
“I think it is time for the state government to consider providing us with stipends to remain vigil on the road. Being a member of the group requires a lot of dedication, which means an individual must always be available to take care of emergencies. This is difficult when you still have to look for food.”
Mallam Usaini Uba, another member of the group in Ruwan Zafi, lamented that hunger hadchased many members away.
“At the beginning, we had large group of youths who are willing to work day and night, but as times goes on, they realised that they had to look for food.
“Most of them cannot afford to remain on the roads because they have families and other dependants to look after,’’ Uba said.
Simon Peter, a member of the group in Jiddari Polo, commended the state government for assisting them with logistics.
“The state government has been very supportive to us, government has on many occasions assisted us by hiring vehicles to convey our members on special assignment.
“But we believe government can do more by introducing monthly allowances to our members to enable us survive.’”
Reacting, Governor Kashim Shettima, said the government was planning to engage members of the group.
“It is part of our post-conflict management strategy to create jobs in public works and in construction as well as train others in vocational skills and agriculture,” he said.
The governor said those with the capacity to further their education would be sponsored, while others with limited skills would be supported to enhance their skills. Shettima alsosaid some of them would be employed as sanitation managers and neighbourhood watchdogs, while others would be engaged in tree planting campaign. (NAN)

http://dailytrust.info/index.php/news/4353-civilian-jtf-demands-monthly-salaries

Naija!Nothing goes for nothing.I lknew this 'civilian JTF" thing was leading up to something.Was wondering when Nigerians suddennly became so patriotic and volunteers.

desperatem: A soldier or maybe a fake soldier hit his body against mine at Abule Egba today. he then call me back and ask me if i was blind, i told him i didn't know i hit him and i apologize. he told me something fell off from what his Oga sent him, i search the floor there is nothing there, he said i should cross the road and i did, i don't want to disobey him. i don't want a situation whereby he will start beating me and even tell me to sleep in the gutter, this is Nigeria, no one will near us, they will just pity me from distance, some women may start crying from a far too but that wont change anything. i have seen it happened several times in lagos. soldier just beat the guy and later carried him away. no one could intervene.

as we crossed to the other side of the road, he told me to keep walking in front of him, we walked toward SUPER bus-top by KATANGOWA MARKET. he then odered me to stop and we waited for a commercial bus going to IYANA IPAJA and IKEJA. we later entered a bus, after 5 mins of the journey, i stylishly call a friend whose's dad is also a soldier, i spoke with the guy and told him what happened, i told him to give the phone to his dad so he can speak to the soldier, I spoke with his dad and he told me to give the phone to the soldier (we were still in the bus going to ikeja) my dad friend was speaking to the soldier and the soldier hung up the call and switched my phone off, he ordered me to give my iPhone to him as well and i oblige, people in the bus started staring and there was an old woman signaling to me at the back sit to beg the soldier, i was begging him and he land me a heavy slap.


I don't want to write too much because of my readers.

He later said we should go to MUSHIN maybe he can buy the stuff there. from OSHODI he called a bike man beside enterprise bank in a small filling station there, he spoke to the guy and the guy agreed to take us. (before we got to the filling station, i saw RRS police van and 5 policemen stationed along the road, i wanted to tell them to help me, but i remember what happened about 2 years ago when some policemen arrest me after showing them my work ID. i tried to call another policeman we met along the road to help me and he told me i am stupid, he said i should settle my scores with those policemen and i should not call him)

The bike man carried us, we passed ilupeju, onipanu, jibowu, yaba and sabo. after few minutes ride from SABO he ordered the bike man to stop, he gave me 200 to buy him recharge card that he wants to call someone who was flashing him (someone was actually flashing him) he pointed to a recharge card vendor across the express, i told him i cant go there that he should use my nokia torch light phone or my iPhone because i have credit in them both. he kicked me in the stomach before i could say jack he jumped on the bike and they zoomed off. i run after the bike and could not catch up.

Before he ran away with my phones, i had been capturing him when we alighted at OSHODI-OKE. he didnt know i am still having a blackberry in my pocket. thanks to God the blackberry didnt ring througout that time. i was even wondering why it didnt ring because its my hotline. i videoed him 3 times and i add to hide the phone at the back of bottled water bottle i bought along the road. the videos are here with me now. i need help about it, i want the video to go viral, i want the guy/thief to be seen throughout where internet spans. I called my 2 phones immediately after he ran with the bike man, the nokia phone was off but the iPhone was still on. i text him and let him know that i videoed him, i threatened him that i will post the videos online and what happened to the police offer who asked for a bribed early this month will happen to him. he didnt call back or text back. i told him to meet me at sabo for negotiation but he didnt turn up.

please i need help, even i can retrive my phone i want to disgrace the man, i will love to see him jailed or killed. i wont even pity him at all.

P.S: Dont mind my errors in typing, i am rushing as i am typing this and i dont even proof read it. thanks y'all

Edit**** i take snapshots of the video from my phone screen, the last picture here is when the guy was peeing along ikeja-oshodi road


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBmMghowg28

With all due respect,you are so timid.You should have aske the guy to identify himself.This is democracy.Soldiers too are afraid of getting into trouble.See how the guy beat u and then stole from you.Soldiers do not behave that way.

alpha conde: http://mobile.saharareporters.com/press-release/efcc-press-release-efcc-arrests-satellite-broadcast-scammer-kano

My wonder is:how did this guy beat Mutchoice's security protocols and encryption?Nigeria's got talent.You just gotta know how to exploit it

k.style:
Dnt knw wat 2 say sha...but if d pastr fvckd her den datz bad...if she's lyin dats also bad...anywayz hw witout sin shld cast d 1st stone...nowadays pastors sha.....*bends dwn n starts 2 write on d sand*

The Man of God must have given her real good head.Now she is pissed off cos she wants him all to herself while he apparently has moved on.Doesnt want to share the sexperience.Greedy bitch.

naijagaga: [img]http://3.bp..com/-Pa9tzyEbepU/UhcycHyorDI/AAAAAAAB9c0/I_iuOdaGFHg/s400/m_DSC_0037.JPG[/img][img]http://4.bp..com/-A8NebOQxDvY/UhcyerEojgI/AAAAAAAB9c8/_rGPK1ykQEw/s400/m_DSC_0046.JPG[/img]

23 year old University of Benin undergraduate Olumilua Yemi from Ekiti State beat other contestants to win the 2013 Queen Globe Beauty pageant which held at the Grand Hotel in Asaba Delta state on Saturday August 17th. Yemi will now represent Nigeria at the Miss Globe International pageant. See more photos of the new queen after the cut...

[img]http://1.bp..com/-u6V8PYKGC_c/UhcyfxaVqGI/AAAAAAAB9dE/jDJ42g2og5A/s400/m_DSC_0048.JPG[/img][img]http://2.bp..com/-IhGYD5ZZNME/UhcyigUi9qI/AAAAAAAB9dM/EEdzWT_acWg/s400/m_DSC_0053.JPG[/img]
[img]http://3.bp..com/-tiyw3AgphhE/UhczE8NVqYI/AAAAAAAB9dc/twzKQJhOmac/s1600/m_DSC_0043.JPG[/img]
[img]http://3.bp..com/-DFMA7sUBm68/UhczvlrosKI/AAAAAAAB9d0/ewy5FkP3vrY/s1600/m_DSC_0050.JPG[/img]

View More Pix @
Source:Naijagaga

FB: www.facebook.com/naijagaga

Is this old woman 23?I strongly doubt it.

belabela: Source: [url]esewalter./2013/08/22/my-affair-with-pastor-biodun-fatoyinbo-of-coza/[/url]

Ashawo Buruku!A man tells a grown woman to meet him at a hotel.U go there .U call him and he says u should come up to his room.U go there.He asks u to have an alcoholic beverage.He invites u to sit down on his laps and u actually do.Even if u were sleeping up to this point,ur alarm bells shld have gone off at the mention of this invitation.U had no-holds-barred sex with a married man for a week and ur conscience was not pricked.So ,pray tell.Why are you coming out with this story now?Was ur brain asleep/dead all these months?
Look me in the eye and tell me you hadnt been fantasizing about sex with ur Pastor while u were in Nigeria...

viperman: Charging port ke?
Have you ever scanned that car before or this is the first time?

USB Port!Pardon my typo.Have scanned it severak times in the past.

ZIM DRILL: i doubt that very much especially if the systems are working independently unless they short wire something during the installation they need to check fuses as well

and before installation was the scan able to communicate with car ?

I used to scan the car before myself so i could identify its exact issues and eliminate guesswork.

nissparts: OP, did you install any new devices in the car recently?
Tracker? Sound system? Remote starter? Immobilizer?.......etc

Yes.Installed a security system

I drive a Camry 98.My problem is that I can not scan my car anymore.Anytime I connect my scanner or my mechanic connects his to the charging port,the car does not recognize it and so no connection is established.I have gone to several auto electricians but they dont know what the problem is.Initially I thought it was the fuse but its not.
What could be the problem?

boliano: Still dey

I fit give u N120k .The moto don suffer.

ALAKANNI: Let her go and do the test again if it is negative go ahead with your marriage plan but if the result is positive then,
But it is better to look before you leap. Though LOVE is BLIND nut MARRIAGE is an eye opener. A word is enough for the wise. I rest my case.

Wait 3 months (without sex)and then both of you.get tested again.Give the virus some time to show up under the microscope.

buntercos: http://www.bigbrotherafrica2013.com/i-am-ripe-for-marriage-beverly/

Gbanjo!Gbanjo! Na who go buy?

sunnycoolmotors: Available

This mileage is suspect o!Since 2005!?

devigblegble: Watin concern agbero with overload ?

"Wars come and go,but my soldiers rest eternal"

justirich: http://sunnewsonline.com/new/specials/23-yr-old-virgin-emerges-world-purity-queen/

Do you know how many guys have paid homage to her with their tongues and fingers?

Tolexander: Nice!

they only tested for her virginity. How i wish they can also test her degree of masturbat1on, Mouth Action given to guys, mouth action and the rest.

hope they aren't trying to include Mercy Johnson's daughter, Purity, to the list of ambassadors cos it isn't by name o[/b]

I know she will also hold the record for receiving the highest number of head jobs!

Spotless_babe: it works for those who knows what it takes to be in a r/ship....n not fr amateurs who thinks r/ship is all abt sex.

If it is not all about sex,why do u think most couples bother to live with each other?

CHIMSKY: Now this is good and it doesnt even fill half the page.Have u thought of how long the list of unsuccessful people who never had a degree is?I wager u ,it would stretch as far as the eye can se

Or you could compile a list of successful people who do have a degree.Do you realize how long that would be?I know we keep on saying degrees dont matter.But I personally think having a degree opens your mind.It generally improves your chances at whatever it is you eventually choose to do.Just my 10 cents.

ighoosagie: [b]list of successful people who never had a university degree






Daniel Abraham, billionaire founder of Slim-Fast.
Ansel Adams, photographer. Dropped out of high school.
Christina Aguilera, singer, songwriter. High school dropout.
Hans Christian Andersen, short story author, fairy tales.
John Jacob Astor, multimillionaire businessman.
Carl Bernstein, Watergate reporter, Washington Post.
Yogi Berra, baseball player, coach, and manager.
Timonthy Blixseth, billionaire founder of Yellowstone Club.
Daniel Boone, explorer, frontier leader.
Ray Bradbury, science fiction author.
Richard Branson, billionaire founder of Virgin Music.
Sergey Brin, billionaire founder of Google.
Edgar Bronfman Jr., billionaire heir to the Seagram liquor fortune.
John Carmack, cofounder of Id Software.
Andrew Carnegie, industrialist and philanthropist.
Scott Carpenter, astronaut.
John Chancellor, TV journalist and anchorman.
Winston Churchill, British prime minister.
Charles Culpeper, multimillionaire owner and CEO of Coca Cola.
Michael Dell, founder of Dell Computers.
Charles Dickens, bestselling novelist.
Walt Disney — yes, THAT Walt Disney.
George Eastman, multimillionaire inventor and founder of Kodak.
Larry Ellison, billionaire co-founder of Oracle software company.
Debbi Fields, founder of Mrs. Fields Cookies.
Carly Fiorina, CEO, Hewlett-Packard.
Bobby Fischer, chess master.
Henry Ford, billionaire founder of Ford Motor Company.
R. Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic dome.
Bill Gates, billionaire co-founder of Microsoft.
J. Paul Getty, billionaire oilman.
Amadeo Peter Giannini, multimillionaire founder of Bank of America.
Hyman Golden, multimillionaire cofounder of Snapple.
Barry Goldwater, U.S. senator and presidential candidate.
David Green, billionaire founder of Hobby Lobby.
Joyce C. Hall, founder of Hallmark.
Harold Hamm, billionaire oil wildcatter.
William Randolph Hearst, newspaper publisher.
Peter Jennings, news anchor.
Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Computers and Pixar Animation.
Dean Kamen, multimillionaire inventor of the Segway.
Ray Kroc, multimillionaire founder of McDonald’s.
Tommy Lasorda, baseball manager.
Ralph Lauren, billionaire fashion designer, founder of Polo.
Charles Lindbergh, aviator.
Jack London, bestselling novelist.
Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brazilian president.
Mary Lyon, founder of Mount Holyoke College (America’s first women’s college).
John Mackey, founder of Whole Foods.
Steve Madden, shoe designer.
John Major, British prime minister.
Herman Melville, novelist, Moby Dick.
Karl Menninger, psychiatrist.
Claude Monet, painter.
Dustin Moskovitz, multi-millionaire co-founder of Facebook.
Walter Nash, prime minister of New Zealand.
David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue airlines.
David Oreck, founder of The Oreck Corporation.
George Orwell (aka Eric Blair), author of Animal Farm and 1984.
Larry Page, billionaire founder of Google.
James A. Pike, Episcopal bishop.
Ron Popeil, multimillionaire founder of Ronco.
Leandro Rizzuto, billionaire founder of Conair.
John D. Rockefeller Sr., billionaire founder of Standard Oil.
Karl Rove, presidential advisor.
William Safire, columnist for the New York Times.
Colonel Harlan Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC).
Vidal Sassoon, multimillionaire founder of Vidal Sassoon.
Richard Schulze, billionaire founder of Best Buy.
William Shakespeare, playwright, poet.
John Simplot, billionaire potato king.
Isaac Merrit Singer, sewing machine inventor.
Walter L. Smith, president of Florida A&M University.
Will Smith, Grammy-winning rapper, actor.
Alfred Taubman, billionaire chairman of Sotheby.
Jack Crawford Taylor, billionaire founder of Enterprise Rent-a-Car.
Dave Thomas, billionaire founder of Wendy’s.
Ted Turner, billionaire founder of CNN and TBS.
Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens).
Cornelius Vanderbilt, railroad magnate.
Theodore Waitt, billionaire founder of Gateway Computers.
DeWitt Wallace, founder and publisher of Reader’s Digest.
Ty Warner, billionaire developer of Beanie Babies.
Sidney Weinberg, managing partner of Goldman Sachs.
Steve Wozniak, billionaire co-founder of Apple.
Wilbur Wright, inventor of the airplane.
Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, billionaire.



[/b]

Now this is good and it doesnt even fill half the page.Have u thought of how long the list of unsuccessful people who never had a degree is?I wager u ,it would stretch as far as the eye can se

biggirloya2: ooh i forgot to mention that when someone my age approaches me i am also too judgemental and i will be scared of what people will say when that person is my bf so i just say no MAINLY BECAUSE I WILL BE TOO SCARED

See.Bone that thing!No make me vex this morning o!I admit you may have a few pounds that make you look older than you really are.But that is no excuse to put yourself down.
You deserve the best and if you are judgemental ,when young ,eligible guys approach you,you are not doing yourself any favours.Has it ever crossed your mind that it takes a bit of courage for a man to approach a woman.So if you "scare" them off with NOs you will keep on getting the 'dogs" you have been managing and are sick of.
Forget about what people will say!Even if u became 'lepa' today,they will say 'she probably has AIDS'So forget people and live not exist.By the way,reduce your calorie intake and begin to exercise today.Better still consult your Doctor and tell him you want to get into shape.I suspect you have a problem burning calories.Then take action.Join a gym and under the guidance of a physical trainer,watch the magic happen.

jamesbridget13: I regret not making judicious use of d times ASUU went on strike while i was a student. Thank God i now ve a job anyways. I want 2 advice u all 2 make candid use of any strike period of ASUU, to acquire skill n experience 2 add 2 ur work experience. U might not knw what am talking abt, xcept u ve some1 whom ve searched 4 job in this country, its really not easy, acquire d skills at least, its a step forward.

Relax.Who says students are not making hay while the sun shines?D babes r doing runs.One just asked me to pay for her registration at university.I now asked her,are you guys not on strike?
She now dodged the question.Na wa for Naija!

snthesis: dear NL members,
i need your advice.
i am in my late 20's got a good payin Job, unfortuntely/fortunately met a beautiful angel 5months ago ( twasnt planned). a few hours ago was almost tempted to ask her to marry me, but sum1 interrupted our blues.
so I'm back home, and contemplating my decision to settle down,
economically, it would involve
1. moving out of my rent free abode- accommodation (2yrs+ Agency) =1.9million naira
2. furnishing = 1million naira
3. wedding hall = 1million naira
4. entertainment of guest (traditional + white wedding) = 1million naira
5. Honeymoon tinz = 1million naira
grand total for settling down = 5.9million naira

alternatively
i cud just buy a tokunmbo Range Rover = 3.5million naira and use the change to be a "Bigs Boy"

i have the said money, so i aint sourcing, so pls by fellow NL members what should i Do, PROPOSE, marry, and settle down or buy a RANGE rOVER AND BE A bIGZ bOY.

Bros,take this piece of advice from someone who knows.Buy the car.You'll be happier.Trust me.