₦airaland Forum

Nothing is better.

The fact of the matter is both parents attention is divided. The father is likely going to move on and have a real family, like wise the mother may move on and have a partner.

In the event where the father moves on to have new family, his attention gets divided as he focuses on the new real family. So the child will feel like an extra piece. In the event where the mother moves on, same thing as well.

So the child can never have
1. Sense of belonging and sense of family pride.
2. A real family

So all have negative repercussions on the child. When deciding to have child out of wedlock, one should think of the childs future. Psychologically they get seriously affected.

Alot of academic studies have shown that children from broken families and single parent families will likely have
1. Conduct issues
2. Poor academic perfomance
3. Low self-esteem
4. Depression, Obsessive Compulsive disorder & Seperation problems etc ( resulting from self blame, rejection and not quiete fitting in )
5. Self gratification behaviors ( alcohol/ drug abuse abuse, early sexual engagements, early child bearing, risk of HIV/ AIDS, etc )

Personally, I love my kids before I know them, so I would rather not have them at all, than making disastrous choices for them.

So I keep my eggs until kingdom comes .
Pity that would prevent me from passing on my wonderful genes

Mindependent: For those interested in the update on my relationship that barely lasted a week . He broke up with me after been intimate, back to square one for me i guess. Why do i fail with men FML!!! I feel useless and cheap

Are you serious?

Eeeeeew, oh noooooo!!!!!! How could you give up the goodies in one week?? He thought you have the cheapest biscuit on earth.

Next time, " HOLD ON TO YOUR COOKIE, UNTIL DESSERT TIME''

WRONG MOVE, ABSOLUTELY WRONG MOVE

doggydot: I love fat ladies for much. Nd I wish to marry a fat lady as my wife....if u re fat u can add me on bb pin 2357679B my number 08024224457........I can't do witout fat ladies

That's so sincere. All the best.

[quote author=-Mr Cork-]...a nairalander thinks nigerian females r too complicated to toast coz instead of focussing on how to make a man happy..to them,life is all about Brasillian wig.... The light skin females r usually the wifey material and prefered but the dark skin ones r known trouble makers actin like they been to London...any ways, the overall conclusion is to find solution without complication...please advise [/quote]I tire oo, all this your blanket prejudices and assumptions. Does the assumptions include your mama and your sisters. eeh

Abeg. Nigerian people are Nigerians but different.

Mods, this thread belongs to the Archives under file called ''TRASH"

HumbledbYGrace: White color is a lil bit dull don't you think?

As you can se above, I said I opted for white curtains because I do not have good lightings in my room and I love light. I hate dark spaces. Someone may love dark spaces. Eg. when designing for a single man, they opt for darker colours like, grey, black.

If you check the meaning of white, one of them is light.

Black people sometimes don't understand that colours bring certain energy in a room and to ones energy and mood and outlook towards life.

Thanks for your contribution though, hope to ignite your interest further than this.

HumbledbYGrace: White color is a lil bit dull don't you think?

Not at all, luv. People have different preferences with regards to colour. What you may find dull, may be invigorating for the next person.

In interior designing, its very important to understand the personality of your client, the interests, age, gender etc. ( thats part of psychology of interior designing )

I will share some of my experiences with you. I am working on this one particular project and some few, so very little time on my plate, so I will update you on this one

For interest sake see attachment. Though its just some common and some primary colours, some coluours are not included like natural / earth colours.

http://www.interiordesignipedia.com/paint-types.html

I am planning to share some knowledge in the closest future. Just have to finish my few projects, I will be back. Hope the MODs will allow me a space meant for house and home.
Cheers, coming back soon.

Ooooooh ooookay

After all this ranting and bashing, what do we benefit?

jojoanobi: Hey Girls in d house!. pls am interested in meeting any cute, matured and financially independent lady btw 30 - 40 yrs of age for a date/serious relationship. again, she must be a christian...she can reach me on 08115833690 for onward communication.
Cheers.

@ least you dont have ridiculous list like another NLer ppman. OP, wont you like to hook up with the dude? For loneliness sake

Then people say there is scarcity of man in Naija. What scarcity??

Good luck bro

VillageBoi: Nne, you're bush & you're dumb... it's no big deal! Afterall someone has to be the village id.iot. Biko, just wear the badge proudly... you hear?!

Bush and dumb, that makes us two. Why hate on each other then.

Your prescription : 50mg chill pill X 3/day.

venatus25: if i say u be mumu* na so every body go com vex for me, hope you did not forget to taking your drugs yesterday.

, the biggest mumu is you, cant even control your emotions. Poverty surely creates anger. Are you perhaps hungry??
Its within my right to ask if I wanna ask considering the amount of internet trolls.

Its not your birth right to tell me how to express myself.

What really rocks your boat when I direct a question to OP. Do you know her perhaps? Huuuuuh.

VillageBoi: Can this, above, be voted the most ridiculous NL comment ever?!

I beseech all of Igboland to disown you and your extreme inferiority complex; what a complete and utter bushmeat you are. I can bet you're as fugly as a Communist German Olympic wrestler!

Even if she is as black as charcoal... how can you be so d.u.m.b (in public)? Tufiakwa.

"Writing looks fake"... doesn't it consist of letters and words? So WTF does that mean?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion or entitled to ask any question. Considering the number of internet trolls, Its within my right to ask if I wanna ask. If my question ruffles your feathers, so be it.

I think you are the dumbest person, what does my looks have to do with my question. Is there no other argument that you can come up with?

By the way, "fugly" is something very far from my family genes. Its just that I don't like attention, so I refrain from attaching photos . But hey lover boy, I am very good looking Igbo . Family evidence attached on my profile pic

Do you know OP, to defend her that much? Or maybe you aspire to marry white?

The question is still directed to OP and not you.

Are u really white?? You writing looks fake.
Anyways, all best. Welcome home.

[quote author=BushyA55.Banger]check my profile baby[/quote] It takes one to see one.

You need an Opthalmologist

Am sorry, but you slowly moving towards ''SPLITVILLE"

Are you LONELY or ALONE or BOTH.

If you have people around you but still LONELY - we have a problem there
If you are ALONE - not a big deal
If BOTH - biggest problem again


Nevertheless learn to enjoy your company. Others can never enjoy your company if you dont enjoy your company
Be your own biggest fan. Read a book, talk to you, laugh with yourself and at yourself.

[quote author=190-the-clown].[/quote]190 the clown, you've started with your trolling.

Look for your rock nah and go spend your time under it

Girl, You are very bold.

I always wear fake nails. I prefer white tips, and pearl tips and a few colours.

But your tips, I can never try them, I guess I am conservative !!!!!

eddy spice: If she keeps repeating an act such as not picking my calls(it must not b all d time) and wont call back and if i complain she says am nagging to me it heads for breakup so that she can have free time.

Yes, thats very true. Especially if it was never like that in the beginning. Definitely your exit form is being processed.

Dyt: Op
Why are u shouting?
That was so so loud
*frowns*

Sugar, I understand that alot of people think that always capital letters means shouting. As you could see the emoticons were the opposite.

Apologies, I was not shouting. Never again

NnamdiN: best friends are meant to be trusted right? Anyway, that's all in the past now. I Don't trust anyone, anymore.

true friends are meant to be trusted. If you cant trust your friend than that is not your friend.

NnamdiN: bro read Vivianc's post, that's exactly how all the people I made close friends were/are. You give your all, thinking someone has your back, just a little problem, you'd realise you've been on your own since Adam.
A friend, I impersonated and wrote an exam for. Gave him a B while I had C during my own time, ran away with my school fees the very next semester. Just coz I was busy and asked him to help me pay.
Another friend, someone I always gave money without asking for payback, asked me to pay him, before he could help my own brother stay in his house for post ume.
Another one, took money from people to do their projects, somehow his laptop's screen damaged, he was receiving threats coz the deadline was approaching and he couldn't get another laptop. What did I do? Gave him mine. HP pavilion DV5(Dad's gift when I got admission). How did he pay me back? Sold it and told me it was stolen. As if that wasn't enough, he told me he had imported another one from India (this was February this year) fast forward to October, I no see charger, let alone laptop. Is the laptop trekking from India?
Another friend, I was supposed to do a business with him back in 100lvl, I thought I was contributing capital, didn't know he was swindling me. Fast forward to 2012, he got detained by some army guys, coz he couldn't repay a debt he owed, I was the only guy he could call. I bailed him. Up till this moment, not a call to repay me.

And you say I need friends ? I'd rather fall and bangg my head hard on German concrete than fall with the expectation, that I have people on ground to catch me.

Eeeeewwww, your own is too much . You are very giving and you get little back.

Write the off,they don't deserve you

Extom: Sometime, there is no sign whatsoever.
You might just suddenly decide you can't take anymore of the lies, insincerity, nagging, cheating, etc. Especially if you've been warning them that you're not gonna take anymore of it, should it happen again.

When you keep on issuing warning is also a sign that you heading towards that door. If I keep hearing the same threats I wont take it lightly

I honesty think that there are always signs, but we keep on ignoring them. What I highlighted above is one of the red flags.

Keep going. *smile*

Water n rice. Am perfect.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU HATING ON VIRGINS ?

I HAVE BEEN PUZZLED BY THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE OF NAIRALAND WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR BREAKUPS AND THE FACT THAT, IT DOESNT SEEM LIKE THEY SAW ANY SIGNS BEFORE THEIR BREAK-UP ( MEANING THEY DIDNT SEE IT COMING ).

THERE IS NO MAN/WOMAN THAT WAKES UP IN THE MORNING AND DECIDES TO LEAVE HIS OR HER PARTNER. THERE ARE THINGS THAT HAPPEN FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME BEFORE THE BREAK- UP THAT COULD RING A BELL THAT THINGS ARE NOT HUNKY DOORY.
I BELIEVE THAT BEFORE ANY BREAKUP THERE ARE SOMETHINGS THAT ANY MAN/ WOMAN WOULD DO THAT WILL DEFINITELY INDICATE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS HEADING TO ''SPLITVILLE''

PERSONALLY, THAT WAS ABOUT 3 YRS AGO BEFORE I BROKE UP WITH HIM I DISPLAYED THE FOLLOWING BEHAVIOURS:
STARTED EXCUSING MYSELF FROM FAMILY RELATED FUNCTIONS
I STOPPED DISHING OUT THE ........
LESS PHONE CALLS
EASILY IRRITATED

THERE IS NO MANUAL THAT IS GIVEN TO ANY OF US TO REMIND US OF THE SIGNS WHEN THE TIME COMES.
CAN WE SHARE WITH EACH OTHER SO THAT WE CAN REDUCE THESE HEARTACHES

WHAT THINGS DID YOU DO/ WHAT BEHAVIORS DID YOU SUDDENLY HAVE / WHAT BEHAVIORS DID HE/ SHE SUDDENLY DISPLAY BEFORE YOUR SPLIT ??


PLEASE GUYS NO JUDGING, JUST HONEST ANSWERS

Are you someone who moves from one unhappy relationship to another? Most likely that’s because you got into the relationship for the wrong reasons. Relationships and marriage are admirable goals for anyone to strive towards but there are many reasons why people may decide to engage in relationships for all the wrong reasons. Relationships should bloom from a mutual love and respect between two people and should not be influenced by outside parties, peer pressure or to fill a void in your life. Before you jump into another relationship, look at these 9 red flags that might help you avoid unhealthy relationships in the future.

- See more at: http://madamenoire.com/114403/reasons-why-you-shouldnt-rush-into-a-relationship/#sthash.Uc1q5OCn.dpuf

1. Convenience
Many times people get into relationships just because they find it convenient. Maybe you found a man who always elects himself to drive you and your friends around from bar to bar at night. Or maybe he has an awesome house and a beautiful pool that you and your friends can chill at whenever you want. Possibly you’re friends are all matched up and you just want to fit in on their “couple getaways” and need a man to fill that void for you. It’s great to find a patient and loving man, but if you tend to use him for his “things” or bank account, don’t be shocked if he catches on to your game and leaves you up a creek, with no ride home.

2. Ageism
Society has conditioned us to believe that once we are over 30, we are past our prime and therefore we have passed our expiration date to be wanted and loved by another person. Often women feel panic and anxiety set in during this time. Coupled with comments from friends and family about “not getting any younger” and you have the perfect ingredients for a wrong decision. Many times older relatives might put pressure on you to settle down by a certain age and create a timeline they feel you should follow. Relationships created for the sake of society, or to appease your family, or because of desperation absolutely do not stand the test of time and shouldn’t be entertained in the first place.

3. Rebound
It is a very common thing to get into relationships to avoid or forget problems. Victims of bad parenting or a history of abuse are often seen getting into such relationships as a means of escape. Many people often jump from relationship to relationship by embarking on a “rebound” before they give themselves time to heal from the hurt, pain, or loneliness from their previous relationship. Such bonds may bring passion, purpose and excitement in the short term, but fail to survive, as they are not based on love.

4. Missing Parent Replacement
As surprising as this sounds, there is a lot of truth to this. Many men particularly have been guilty of this scenario. There are men who have never lived alone for any period of time since they left their mothers home. On the flip side, some women who grew up without a stable father figure might be trying to fill this fraternal void in their life with a boyfriend. Let’s be clear, parents and lover are very different and neither one can take the place of the other. Keep your intentions clear on why you want a boyfriend in the first place, and if it’s so he can start the BBQ at dinner and help clean the yard, then maybe it’s a father you are on the hunt for, not a lover.

5. Boredom
This is probably the most dangerous reason why you would want to be in a relationship. There are so many things to do in life to make it more interesting and if you decide to choose a relationship in order to pass the time you will not end up with a life full of happiness. Relationships are about the giving of yourself and the other person giving to you. It is not a hobby to relieve boredom. Don’t go find a boyfriend just so you have someone to take road trips with and eat lunch with at the park. Maybe you should consider meeting new friends, or getting a dog to fill your time, not a man.

6. Scared to be Alone
The fear of being alone is a societal conditioning that suggests that you should be been married with children by the age of 30. Often it is women who feel this burden as they move towards their 40s and beyond. With no relationship in sight, they envision that they will end up being a lonely cat lady. This thinking affects their selection process causing a sense of desperation to kick in. Invariably this leads to choosing the wrong man. The majority of those who get into a relationship for the wrong reasons fall into this category. Many people tend to feel worthless or lacking something when they are single or lonely, but jumping into a relationship to “solve” this will only turn into a huge regret later.

7. Influenced by Others
The approval of family and friends is reflected in the way we take their advice. In order not to look like the odd one out, we may listen to their suggestions and date someone that we had no intention of dating. Long lasting and happy relationships start with a solid foundation. The foundation should be the reason that you have decided to embark on a relationship in the first place. A solid foundation will keep you grounded when the storms break out around your relationship. If your foundation is weak, then what you invested in may fall apart. Many times men and women get into relationships because of friends. Many people tend to think ‘Everyone else have someone, why not me?’

8. Need of Physical Intimacy
For many people the motivation for relationship is sex or physical intimacy with a repeating partner. Desperation for sex can many times result in jumping into the sack with the wrong people and failing to connect on any level other than the bedroom. Yes, physical attraction and intimacy is important in a relationship, but it should not be the basis for a relationship. If this is your style, don’t expect the man of your dreams to end up from your weekend booty-call. Chances are, men who are looking for this type of situation, is not looking for a relationship at all.

9. Wants a Challenge
Many times people try to win over others because they are unavailable and are intrigued by a challenge. Winning over a man could be considered a triumph to you and a prize you wont stop fighting for until you get it. Unfortunately the reason that person might not have been available from the start is because they either are already in a relationship, or they just aren’t into you. Not to say that a little bit of a challenge isn’t fun and exciting, but be sure you are fighting for an available and good guy. You’d hate to end up with the “bad, hard to get guy” just to find out he’s just that, a bad guy!

- See more at: http://madamenoire.com/114403/reasons-why-you-shouldnt-rush-into-a-relationship

I always make sure that when I leave the guy, I leave no stones unturned.

Meaning, I satisfy my heart, by, letting the men hurt me, letting him make me happy or whatever it is that stirs up my emotions.

In that way when I leave I dont look back but forward,

When I meet him, what always come to mind is " THANK GOD, WHAT WAS I THINKING''.

When I meet him, I get to see his flaws on a 3D VIEW.

OP, WHAT DOES LOVE GOT TO DO WITH BEAUTY ?? Or else all pretty girls in the world were gonna be able to keep their man from cheating, but still they cant.The girl may be pretty but still not make the guy happy.

I BLAME PESON WHO INVENTED PIDGIN.

SEE MY ENGLISH.

Love my Jesus in me.